Devastating Disappointment

5 Jul 2007

Can anyone offer advice on coping with disappointment.I have talked with my wife about meeting up with another guy for 10 years or has warmed to the idea,I think not just to please me but I know she is thinking of it to herself when I hear her cry out when she brings herself off upstairs sometimes. We have gotten close to meeting guys from this site but at the last minute she always pulls out and we kind of agree together we shouldn't be doing this but inside I'm left course the fantasy of all this never goes away and I'm afraid that turning 50 now, that's it for ever.
It's not the sex, it's the excitement of it all, the high I get from the idea of my wife dressing to look her very best for someone else; that someone else would fancy her any thing like as much as I do. The disappointment I feel when that 'high' is snatched ,My wife can still dress to impress me but I can no longer get turned on by just that. In my mind I thinking of her flirting with another guy.
Has anybody had the same experience? can anybody offer words of comiseration? :cry:

5 Jul 2007

I think by the sound of it (and I cannot really comment that much as I don't know you or your wife) like you are both getting carried along by the fantasy of the meeting. When it comes to the crunch your wife is not ready simple as and as disappointing as it is for you, your marriage is 100% far more important.
Swinging is about complete agreement on both sides, trust, security and love. I wouldn't push her I'd just enjoy the fantasy of the thoughts for now hun..
kiss

5 Jul 2007

Thanks, Jaymar, I think you're absolutely right.I appreciate the good sense of your comment

5 Jul 2007

Thanks comments are helping. You're right, there's nothing wrong with having fantasies - in fact, it's positively wife obviously loves me a lot and does understand the way I feel. I can certainly put in the effort to make sure I understand the way she feels about all this.

5 Jul 2007

Quote by gitlo
I'm afraid that turning 50 now, that's it for ever.

Behave you daft sod kiss

Turning 50 means, well, you are older than 49. Sure as hell doesn't mean that you can't get into swinging :rascal:
I have changed my mind a number of times in the past, I am a complete chicken. Doesn't mean that I haven't played at all, just means it takes me longer than some to have fun. Don't give up hope because if the right person comes along, you never know dunno