Well it was the wigan munch last and molls theme.
Heres how my night panned out
Almost had to cancel as after careful planning so we could attend the event having to miss the last Wigan bash, cos of Mr B’s commitments with his volunteer work…..a 'surprise weekend' was added at the last minute which was in all places…..Otterburn (80 miles from Edinburgh!!) and as we live near a fair old drive for Mr B to do on the Friday up at alarm call, do the days activities and do the drive back….
Did I, as his good, caring lady wife, sympathise and allow him to get in, relax, have some food, a drink and then chill out before crawling into bed nice and early.
Did I 'eckerslike!! He got in, I threw his dinner at him and said “right you’ve got 15 minutes to eat that while I finish getting ready and then we’re off…..hunny†I added by way of manners and a sweetener!
getting had my shower and stuff and am donning my ‘stuff’……eBay’s finest!!!
On goes my long black dress with side split, my long black evening gloves, complete with pearl bracelet over the top, fairly mollish so far. Next, hair….. thank god I dyed my hair the other night and got rid of the inch wide white stripe in my parting, or else I think I would have been more Cruella DeVille than Bubbles Conchigle…moll to the notorious Gangster - Don Tagliatelle……nope if I have it down and loose I look like Morticia up it goes!
Next a pearl stop sniggering at the back!! I meant a boy does it live up to its well I’ve always though blue was an attractive colour and breathing fairly over-rated anyway!
Now comes my nod to the gangster era…a sassy looking red and black lace garter with a teeny little holster attached to it, complete with a little from eBay…one size fits all!......yep unless like me you are built like Bella Beth Ditto for the youngsters among us…..anyways I bought it so I’m damn well gonna wear managed to drag it up to just above my knee, I just have to hope the circulation to my left leg holds out for the night.
Make up goes well (unlike last time) until I have the fantastic idea of adding a beauty spot with an eyeliner pencil….I mean all self respecting molls have a beauty spot right??
First attempt is too near my nose and looks like a crusty bogey (booger, crow, nose debris…whatever you like to call em) stuck to my on the end of a tissue and erase……attempt 2 looks like a large hairy wart on my chin…..go 3 looks like Im growing a moustache like an Amish in the end I lose that idea altogether!Next my feather a purchase from my fave auction site…..first time out of the boa????? In what lifetime?? More skinny garden worm than any member of the serpentine species, but I fling it on as I paid for it and im damn well gonna wear it (see a pattern emerging heer?!?!)
Now my faux cigarette doesn’t come with a faux ciggy, so I make one from a bit of rolled up paper and some devilishly sticky white surgical tape……I say devilishly don’t forget I’m wearing black nylon evening gloves, which I cant take off as I’ve just struggled to fasten my vintage pearl bracelet over the top of on of them…..the tips of the fingers of my gloves keep sticking to the damn tape as I try and fasten it round my little tube of rolled up how hard can this finger is stretched so long as I attempt to extricate myself from the tape I end up looking like bloody E.T, and want to “phone homeâ€â€¦..I finally manage to o drag the fingers of my gloves back up my own fingers, as I now look a tad like Freddy (or would that be Freda) Krueger?!
I look at myself in the mirror and WTF?!?!?!
I look like I have a big thick bush growing from my armpit….i was sure I shaved there….i KNOW I shave there….I lift my arm and there stuck to me clinging for dear life are 3 black feathers that have detached themselves from my I look like an member of some eastern European female shot putting team!....I carefully remove them from their nesting place, and go to the living room bin to dispose of them……OMG!! Theres a trail of black feathers following me looks like one of my dogs has savaged a crow in the living room :shock: …my worm is moulting at an alarming rate of notts (knots, knotts, nots
…..bloody fast anyways!!)Stuff it…its time to I chivvy a tired but very mafia-esque Mr B out of the door……we get to our intended destination without incident…..well apart from annoying the woman on the sat-nav by ignoring some of her suggestions…..I half expert her haughty voice to bellow “well if you wont follow my instructions then I’m not talking to you ever again!!†and switch herself off in a Witchy type flounce!
The venue is a fab before and we enter and it looks like we’ve come to the greatest Mafioso Convention, this side of the many trilbies, white ties, feather boas and guns, flapper dresses and pinstripes as far as the eye can looks amazing! Its like a speak-easy…..well you know can speak easy……never stop in fact!!
I feel like any minute now Dandy Dan and his hoodlums are gonna burst in and finish us all off with splurge guns!
We find our seat and just take in the atmosphere…..I mingle and put faces to user people I want to meet…..and miss a few of those I also hoped to meet…..the room is jam packed of partying revellers, so its impossible to find everyone on my list….I leave Mr B in the corner…..he’s to knackered to stand up, much let alone be dragged around he’s extremely shy in situations like this, and turns into a wallflower! The music is fabulous, and everyone is having a blast.
Its great to catch up with old friends, have a hug and a kiss, from them, along with more hugs and kisses from new of my night the ‘god-like’ Mr Woohoo
and finally managing to have a hug and a proper chat with dear Choony! Nights like these reaffirm that the friends I’ve made on SH can be real life friends as well as cyber friends, and even if I never play with any of them, that I have made some very dear friends who I hope will remain in my life for a long time to come.There are feathers of eveyr colour adorning the floor, and I’m glad that I’m not the only one with a moulting problem….I sincerely hope the venue cleaners don have asthma!!
We have to go early as Mr B is threatening to drop off in the corner from sheer exhaustion, and he’s still gotta drive me home!!, and hes getting a bit miffed at me keep jabbing him awake with my cigarette holder too !
I manage to drag my oxygen starved withered leg behind me (damn that garter) and say my goodbyes, and give my huge thanks to the pity anyone who missed such a fantastic night!
You'll see it was a tad tight on my leg too! Especially seeing as how someone else was wearing one with much slimmer legs! Huff. I wouldn't have minded, but I'd provided the rest of their costume! 
