I must admit I did the first time
Sex God
Did you ever think "Oh fuck" what the hell have we done? When you've seen your other half being shagged by another person?
I must admit I did the first time
I must admit I did the first time
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Did you ever think \"Oh fuck\"
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Depends on if I have my vodka goggles on at the time or not 
Being serious...the first time we had a good chat about how we both felt and we're still doing it and it gets better so we never really think "Oh fuck" at all,we know each other inside out and are very solid so I think that helps a lot
Being serious...the first time we had a good chat about how we both felt and we're still doing it and it gets better so we never really think "Oh fuck" at all,we know each other inside out and are very solid so I think that helps a lot
Sex God
i can't speak for mr b but i have never thought that even the first time was such a huge turn on watching him with another woman and still is luckily lol
Sex God
First time we did anything I did think 'Oh f**k' but not in a jealous way, more of a 'why didnt we do this sooner' kind of way 
Infact, I still think it now
Infact, I still think it now
Sex God
I loved what we do from the outset, still do. The 'Oh f*ck' moment was a thought I had at the time whilst watching J get shagged and wondering whether it would change the dynamics of our relationship.
It has been a life changing decision in some respects and at that specific moment I just wondered if it was a good one. So far it has been good, very good. I just remember the feeling that it could so easily of been Pandora's box we were opening (no pun intended)
To be honest I sort of think that that apart from the swinging stuff life is very much as it was, given that we were always quite open about stuff anyway.
It has been a life changing decision in some respects and at that specific moment I just wondered if it was a good one. So far it has been good, very good. I just remember the feeling that it could so easily of been Pandora's box we were opening (no pun intended)
To be honest I sort of think that that apart from the swinging stuff life is very much as it was, given that we were always quite open about stuff anyway.
Just found this post, and thought I would comment.
The first time I saw Lucy with another guy it was such a massive turn on that jealousy did not raise its head at first, but afterward she would chat to him on msn, and the phone, and I could see how much she enjoyed this contact, and the buzz she was getting thinking about meeting him again. Therefore the second time, I did feel the jealousy raising its head, not so much when they were having hard sex, but when they were being more gentle with each other, laying together and kissing and softly touching each other.
To be honest it still does especialy if the guy is quite good looking, and they are gently intimate together.
That being said just that touch of jealousy in some sort of perverse way, can be quite addictive, and so long as it does not grow, gives me a bit of a high.
Mike.
The first time I saw Lucy with another guy it was such a massive turn on that jealousy did not raise its head at first, but afterward she would chat to him on msn, and the phone, and I could see how much she enjoyed this contact, and the buzz she was getting thinking about meeting him again. Therefore the second time, I did feel the jealousy raising its head, not so much when they were having hard sex, but when they were being more gentle with each other, laying together and kissing and softly touching each other.
To be honest it still does especialy if the guy is quite good looking, and they are gently intimate together.
That being said just that touch of jealousy in some sort of perverse way, can be quite addictive, and so long as it does not grow, gives me a bit of a high.
Mike.
Quote by varca
Just found this post, and thought I would comment.
The first time I saw Lucy with another guy it was such a massive turn on that jealousy did not raise its head at first, but afterward she would chat to him on msn, and the phone, and I could see how much she enjoyed this contact, and the buzz she was getting thinking about meeting him again. Therefore the second time, I did feel the jealousy raising its head, not so much when they were having hard sex, but when they were being more gentle with each other, laying together and kissing and softly touching each other.
To be honest it still does especialy if the guy is quite good looking, and they are gently intimate together.
That being said just that touch of jealousy in some sort of perverse way, can be quite addictive, and so long as it does not grow, gives me a bit of a high.
Mike.
To be honest Mike a lot of what you say concerns me. There should never be jealousy in swinging. You should only ever venture into this 'lifestyle' for want of a better word, if you are totally 200% emotionally secure in your relationship. It should not matter if what is shared between others is just hard sex or gently intimate in the way you describe. You should both take pleasure from the whole experience and if any part of it makes you feel uncomfortable then you should take a step back and maybe rethink if this is what you both really want?
Hope that the jealousy thing does not escalate for you
The post doesn't concern me
No one knows how they will feel until they enter a new situation and jealousy can crop up.
Nothing to do with how emotionally secure a relationship is. I don't even think a couple needs to take a step back, just talk about it and work it through. I would suggest that swinging is still what they want to do but they just need to know others can get a little tiny bit jealous too :thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by Dawnie
Just found this post, and thought I would comment.
The first time I saw Lucy with another guy it was such a massive turn on that jealousy did not raise its head at first, but afterward she would chat to him on msn, and the phone, and I could see how much she enjoyed this contact, and the buzz she was getting thinking about meeting him again. Therefore the second time, I did feel the jealousy raising its head, not so much when they were having hard sex, but when they were being more gentle with each other, laying together and kissing and softly touching each other.
To be honest it still does especialy if the guy is quite good looking, and they are gently intimate together.
That being said just that touch of jealousy in some sort of perverse way, can be quite addictive, and so long as it does not grow, gives me a bit of a high.
Mike.
To be honest Mike a lot of what you say concerns me. There should never be jealousy in swinging. You should only ever venture into this 'lifestyle' for want of a better word, if you are totally 200% emotionally secure in your relationship. It should not matter if what is shared between others is just hard sex or gently intimate in the way you describe. You should both take pleasure from the whole experience and if any part of it makes you feel uncomfortable then you should take a step back and maybe rethink if this is what you both really want?
Hope that the jealousy thing does not escalate for you
The post doesn't concern me
No one knows how they will feel until they enter a new situation and jealousy can crop up.
Nothing to do with how emotionally secure a relationship is. I don't even think a couple needs to take a step back, just talk about it and work it through. I would suggest that swinging is still what they want to do but they just need to know others can get a little tiny bit jealous too :thumbup:
Enlightened post Dawnie I totally agree with you :thumbup:
Blimey i thought this post was dead but it sems it still got a little life in it yet :-)
Mike, I get where you are coming from big time. The actual sex stuff is easy for me watching and finding it oh s horny. The 'apres' sex stuff can be hard to swallow at times though. watching your Mrs in the after glow or being whispered to while your way over the other side of the room or making a coffee that sort of thing.
That happened to me with one of our playmates as afterwards I felt left out somewhat as he would do the ear whisper giggly thing with J and I could see but not hear anything leaving me with that gooseberry feeling. The first time or two it happened I thought little of it though after that i realised it was becoming an issue and so brought the subject up with J. Oddly she had been feeling the same. Awkward about the intimacy that she rally didn't need afterwards, and if she did, it was with me.
After chatting it was all cool and we go really enjoying our swinging, we both think its great and make each know that. I think its great to let people know sometimes though, and I don't hold back in saying to others that if there are more than two people in the room, then they all need to feel like they are belonging to the situation. In whatever form that belonging takes.
Quite a hard hitting comment Varca, but I thank you for your concern.
My first reaction was that it must be a very hard person, who can honestly say they feel nothing but sex, in seeing the person they love being intimate with another person.
Then I remembered that one thing I have learned from our time in the swinging community, is that everyone is different and what works, or turns you on, for one, is different for another. Perhaps you should bear that in mind.
Just like pain is a warning sign to prevent you being hurt further, so I think jealousy works in the same way. In that regard I agree with you, because if that jealousy gets to intense then you are quite right, it is time to get out.
The point I was making, and I admit it is hard to explain, but just that little bit of jealousy can be quite exciting.
The subsequent comment by Lost is exactly how I feel, and is something I have discussed with Lucy at length. If anything so far, (and time only will tell) this has strenghtened our marriage, and that twinge of jealousy has made me love her all the more.
Mike
My first reaction was that it must be a very hard person, who can honestly say they feel nothing but sex, in seeing the person they love being intimate with another person.
Then I remembered that one thing I have learned from our time in the swinging community, is that everyone is different and what works, or turns you on, for one, is different for another. Perhaps you should bear that in mind.
Just like pain is a warning sign to prevent you being hurt further, so I think jealousy works in the same way. In that regard I agree with you, because if that jealousy gets to intense then you are quite right, it is time to get out.
The point I was making, and I admit it is hard to explain, but just that little bit of jealousy can be quite exciting.
The subsequent comment by Lost is exactly how I feel, and is something I have discussed with Lucy at length. If anything so far, (and time only will tell) this has strenghtened our marriage, and that twinge of jealousy has made me love her all the more.
Mike
was mind blowing watching my now ex wife riding the hell of our best friends husband , but then again I was giving his wife what for ha ha and all in the same room , we were with them for over a year so the word "oh fuck" never came in to it more like " more fuck".....seriously I have never had a problem sharing my partner with someone else and would easily do it if I had a partner to share hint hint ? any single ladys out there looking for a f...buddy get in touch xxxxxxxxxxx
steve xx
steve xx
Sex God
Quote by Calista
It's never bothered me watching Morbius and another, and that's usually because I'm occupied at the time :twisted: ;)
I have had pangs of jealousy but not during swinging funnily enough, moreso when he's got his eye on someone who I don't know/haven't met!
Erm... don't care what you said.
hwoar:Hello... new avatar!
Calista
Wow. Quote by noladreams30
It's never bothered me watching Morbius and another, and that's usually because I'm occupied at the time :twisted: ;)
I have had pangs of jealousy but not during swinging funnily enough, moreso when he's got his eye on someone who I don't know/haven't met!
Erm... don't care what you said.
hwoar:Hello... new avatar!
Calista
Wow.Thank you honey ... it's actually my original avatar from years ago but it's my inspiration and I can't post it on the fridge for obvious reasons :giggle:
Sex God
I've always loved that avatar Callie hwoar: I even thought about doing it in the davej avatar challenge but was never quite brave enough
As for "oh fuck" moments... yes, I have had one and it wasn't nice I suppose I'll never know whether it was necessary at that particular moment, but in general in that relationship I really should have had it long before then 
You really do need to have a particular kind of honesty and mutual trust and respect in a relationship to be able to swing properly. That's indisputable as far as I'm concerned. I can completely see that a little bit of jealousy in a healthy relationship can be a buzz (and perfectly natural) though
hwoar: I even thought about doing it in the davej avatar challenge but was never quite brave enough As for "oh fuck" moments... yes, I have had one and it wasn't nice
I suppose I'll never know whether it was necessary at that particular moment, but in general in that relationship I really should have had it long before then You really do need to have a particular kind of honesty and mutual trust and respect in a relationship to be able to swing properly. That's indisputable as far as I'm concerned. I can completely see that a little bit of jealousy in a healthy relationship can be a buzz (and perfectly natural) though
Over the last few days my wife and I have been discussing this exact subject and lo and behold I turn I click on the forum and there is this thread. I feel a bit of Soul bearing coming on ............ As anybody who as seen our ad will know , we are newbies and I think after reading this thread maybe neverwas,s ? Although very secure in our relationship even after 25 years of marriage I have (Male)always been a jealous person where my partner is concerned. I admit to feeling slightly sad for my wife as her 50th approaches and having had me on top of her for the last 25 years ,although our sex life is fantastic , she knows what I have , how I use it and sometimes I suppose exactly what I am going to do. Like many couples we thought of swinging (even the thought spiced our sex life up ). And although I made the move to this site it was with my wife's backing and encouragement. Things seemed so black and white then I read this thread. which I will admit has given me a reality check. I feel I could just about handle her being pleasured/fucked in the same room , with me doing the same in the other corner (but could I concentrate on my partner ??)But if it came to her txt , msn or phoning her partner then I would probably have a blue fit :twisted: . I cant speak for my wife but all I want is the physical side of swinging , yes be friends with your swinging partners but I want no emotional attachment. Just pure lustful sex. Is this possible ? can you (or I )do one with out the other ? anyway as I said this thread has given me VERY VERY much food for thought. MS
I think you can have pure lustful sex,
Perhaps what you and your wife would benefit from is the 'club scene'. It is possible to have physical, 'friendly' contact with people and have no idea of their name let alone their telephone number or e-mail details.
Whatever you both do, make sure it is pleasure.
Perhaps what you and your wife would benefit from is the 'club scene'. It is possible to have physical, 'friendly' contact with people and have no idea of their name let alone their telephone number or e-mail details.
Whatever you both do, make sure it is pleasure.
A wonderful idea for Meandshe -2008, Splendid!
Unless you are into one off meets Meansshe, then a sort of relationship will be formed.....its just natural. We personally do not do one off meets, even though I am in this game, I am not looking for notches on the bed post, so to speak!! But our experience is limited, seeing as we have only met 3 does not mean that a romantic relationship is formed, just a friendly, flirty and hopefully lustfull one!
My husband actually feeds off the online chat that I have with our gentlemen, it can be something we both enjoy between meets, if you get my drift!!
I personally know that I could not bear to see Mike with another woman, as I am the jealous type!!
So we just stick to what we are comfortable with, and then no one will get hurt.
I hope you both find what you are looking for Meandshe, just do not rush, and tread carefully with your choice of meet, if infact you do take the plunge.
Not that you were asking for advice!
Lucys post.
Lost......plenty of life left in this posting of yours!!!
Unless you are into one off meets Meansshe, then a sort of relationship will be formed.....its just natural. We personally do not do one off meets, even though I am in this game, I am not looking for notches on the bed post, so to speak!! But our experience is limited, seeing as we have only met 3 does not mean that a romantic relationship is formed, just a friendly, flirty and hopefully lustfull one!
My husband actually feeds off the online chat that I have with our gentlemen, it can be something we both enjoy between meets, if you get my drift!!
I personally know that I could not bear to see Mike with another woman, as I am the jealous type!!
So we just stick to what we are comfortable with, and then no one will get hurt.
I hope you both find what you are looking for Meandshe, just do not rush, and tread carefully with your choice of meet, if infact you do take the plunge.
Not that you were asking for advice!
Lucys post.
Lost......plenty of life left in this posting of yours!!!
Sex God
Some really good stuff on this now. I think I'm with Splendid in thinking that you can have just pure lustful sex, I'd go so far as to say even going down to just functonal yet satisfying sex without the deeper felings and the weight that brings. Agood point about trying a club too.
Sometimes is it not OK just to satisfy the body without having to justify it your mind? After discussing stuf over and over and over again ad infinitum with J we know that the swinging id about satisfying a physical want and desire. The need for each other in the emotional department remains just between the two of us.
Meandshe - What a good post for a newbie into forum too
and welcome. You said in your post
"I cant speak for my wife but all I want is the physical side of swinging , yes be friends with your swinging partners but I want no emotional attachment. Just pure lustful sex. Is this possible ? can you (or I )do one with out the other ?"
Well yes you can, we do!
Sometimes is it not OK just to satisfy the body without having to justify it your mind? After discussing stuf over and over and over again ad infinitum with J we know that the swinging id about satisfying a physical want and desire. The need for each other in the emotional department remains just between the two of us.
Meandshe - What a good post for a newbie into forum too
and welcome. You said in your post "I cant speak for my wife but all I want is the physical side of swinging , yes be friends with your swinging partners but I want no emotional attachment. Just pure lustful sex. Is this possible ? can you (or I )do one with out the other ?"
Well yes you can, we do!
I do know that it is possible to have 'pure, lustful sex' with people one has got to know through MSN, texting, phonecalls etc too.
I know that when I meet people 1-2-1, I get a lot out of the initial flirting and build- up. It is rare that once I have fucked someone that I continue with that flirting and chat.. but sometimes I do. I am totally open about that tho'. Worlass knows me well enough to know that I like the 'newness' of it and my interest soon drops afterwards.
Neither of us get's jealous. I am sure it is an emotion that we are both capable of, it is something we are yet to experience.
Although I like the idea of going to clubs and having anonymous sex, I struggle to be honest about my desires with someone I have no previous contact with.
I think that, in time, we all get to a point where we know exactly what we want and how we want it. Before long we all become as pedantic and specific as I am
I know that when I meet people 1-2-1, I get a lot out of the initial flirting and build- up. It is rare that once I have fucked someone that I continue with that flirting and chat.. but sometimes I do. I am totally open about that tho'. Worlass knows me well enough to know that I like the 'newness' of it and my interest soon drops afterwards.
Neither of us get's jealous. I am sure it is an emotion that we are both capable of, it is something we are yet to experience.
Although I like the idea of going to clubs and having anonymous sex, I struggle to be honest about my desires with someone I have no previous contact with.
I think that, in time, we all get to a point where we know exactly what we want and how we want it. Before long we all become as pedantic and specific as I am
Sex God
I opened my suit case and found a pack of condoms, along with a note. I read the note and 'Oh fuck, she expects me to play' That was after our less than totally successful 4some.
That 4some was when I asked myself, 'Oh fuck, have I pushed to hard?'
That 4some was when I asked myself, 'Oh fuck, have I pushed to hard?'
Thanks all 
But even with your help I feel I am a bit naive at 45. your thoughts and comments are of enormous help. Are there any couples out there where the male is a gentleman who would treat my wife with the care and respect she deserves ( whilst giving her a real good seeing to) And believe me I am no dud when it comes to satisfaction . my wife means the world to me And I want her to fulfil her life . But to still love me . (told you I was naive :cry: ) MS
But even with your help I feel I am a bit naive at 45. your thoughts and comments are of enormous help. Are there any couples out there where the male is a gentleman who would treat my wife with the care and respect she deserves ( whilst giving her a real good seeing to) And believe me I am no dud when it comes to satisfaction . my wife means the world to me And I want her to fulfil her life . But to still love me . (told you I was naive :cry: ) MS Sex God
Quote by Meandshe_2008
Thanks all
Nothing naive or wrong with what you want. Wanting your wife to experience some great sex and still be in love with you. That to me sounds fair and something you dont have to compromise. The problems comes if your relationship is dodgy and you think that by doing the swang thang it may put a bad relationship back on track. That is a delusion swinging is an added presuure/stress situation and can be disastrous on an already fragile situation. Your relationship has got to be rock soild and honest with the belief that if the swang thang don't work you can both walk away saying "OK that was interesting but not really our scene" with no hangups.
I believe from the stuff you have said MS that I feel and want and get a lot of what you seek and for us it just makes me love J more and she ays like wise about me, and i believe her with all my heart.
Really really good luck you two :thumbup:
