I shall try to word this question carefully, though no doubt will fail abismally!
I noticed a thread in LMU, where a chap was putting forward his availablity to meet/play with less able bodied couples etc...
the thread degenerated a little, as the guy was initially ridiculed, then defended by others, and his responce was then perhaps a tad defensive... so all in all, the request for a *meet* lost its way.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/83684.html
But this leaves me thinking:
What are the thoughts of ALL of us here on SH surrounding ability/disability?
Are there any couples or singles on the site with issues surrounding physical ability who might like to voice their opinion?
Obviously we all have desires and needs, lets hope that there is room enough on here (an otherwise very open minded and understanding site) to accept all for what they are, and what might turn them on?
>law permitting, obviously!! hehe<
any thoughts?
OfA
oneforall
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Disability
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oh god
please can we keep this one on track, and not debate the ins and outs of that particular LMU thread?
this could become one of those very good important discussions we ocasionally have on here - if allowed
:thumbup:
please can we keep this one on track, and not debate the ins and outs of that particular LMU thread?
this could become one of those very good important discussions we ocasionally have on here - if allowed
What are the thoughts of ALL of us here on SH surrounding ability/disability?
Are there any couples or singles on the site with issues surrounding physical ability who might like to voice their opinion?
Obviously we all have desires and needs, lets hope that there is room enough on here (an otherwise very open minded and understanding site) to accept all for what they are, and what might turn them on?
>law permitting, obviously!! hehe<
any thoughts?
:thumbup:
Orgasminator
SH rules (the unwritten ones) state clearly that a person using these forums may not be:
illiterate
disabled
old
too young
need I go on?
My personal take is that everyone is entitled to the same things in life. I have met men on a wheelchair that I wouldn't mind spending time with. I have a friend who was born blind in one eye and his 'good' eye only works 10% and now he is losing it. I have known people who are hard of hearing and cannot hear you when you whisper sweet things to them but I have adjusted to accommodate them. I look at the person, not the disability.
Maybe it is because I am disabled myself. Maybe it is because my ex partner left me with the excuse that he couldn't go on living with a disabled person that I am more understanding and accepting of others.
Anyway, live and let live! What is not good for you, may be perfect for someone else and we don' t need to put every thread under the microscope and try to prove ourselves better than the poster. (Unfortunately, this is the trend lately and I am just wondering whether this is the reason some very fine people do not post any more.)
illiterate
disabled
old
too young
need I go on?
My personal take is that everyone is entitled to the same things in life. I have met men on a wheelchair that I wouldn't mind spending time with. I have a friend who was born blind in one eye and his 'good' eye only works 10% and now he is losing it. I have known people who are hard of hearing and cannot hear you when you whisper sweet things to them but I have adjusted to accommodate them. I look at the person, not the disability.
Maybe it is because I am disabled myself. Maybe it is because my ex partner left me with the excuse that he couldn't go on living with a disabled person that I am more understanding and accepting of others.
Anyway, live and let live! What is not good for you, may be perfect for someone else and we don' t need to put every thread under the microscope and try to prove ourselves better than the poster. (Unfortunately, this is the trend lately and I am just wondering whether this is the reason some very fine people do not post any more.)
{hijack}
I know i said keep this thread on track......
ops: but....
i dont understand what you're getting at Tania
{end hijack}
I know i said keep this thread on track......
ops: but....Quote by Tania
we don' t need to put every thread under the microscope and try to prove ourselves better than the poster. (Unfortunately, this is the trend lately and I am just wondering whether this is the reason some very fine people do not post any more.)
i dont understand what you're getting at Tania
{end hijack}
Orgasminator
Ah how good it is to be proven right! 
What do you mean by 'dissabled'? Blind? Deaf? Quadraplegic?
I guess it is all down to personal boundaries, for some the very thought of 'playing' with a person with only a minor dissability would be a major turn off, for others the boundaries may be a lot further away.
To be honest its not something that we have experienced really, although my partner has MS we don't actually see this as any form of dissability. Perhaps as the condition progresses, and her physical condition deteriorates we may have to have a re think.
SH peeps are no different to the rest of society, although I have to say that I think our lifestyle, or at least the SH part of it, tends to make us less judgemental than many in society.
I guess it is all down to personal boundaries, for some the very thought of 'playing' with a person with only a minor dissability would be a major turn off, for others the boundaries may be a lot further away.
To be honest its not something that we have experienced really, although my partner has MS we don't actually see this as any form of dissability. Perhaps as the condition progresses, and her physical condition deteriorates we may have to have a re think.
SH peeps are no different to the rest of society, although I have to say that I think our lifestyle, or at least the SH part of it, tends to make us less judgemental than many in society.
Quote by Tania
SH rules (the unwritten ones) state clearly that a person using these forums may not be:
illiterate
disabled
old
too young
Yep don't have a problem with that one, but as for the rest bollox
Now disability comes in many forms I for one suffer from and that restricts me in many ways such as drinking, typing and writing to name few physical ones the mental and emotional ones that stem from it restrict me further so I guess you can class that as a disability as it restricts me to what I can and can't do on a day to day basis. My point is what do we class as a disability ?
Quote by Tania
Ah how good it is to be proven right!
Tania...my dear.....you do come out with some shit.....and i say that in the nicest way.
to think there is some conspiracy on here against certain groups...is complete rubbish...so because some people don't agree with you,you come out with that crap....care to explain why ?
Quote by oneforall
Are there any couples or singles on the site with issues surrounding physical ability who might like to voice their opinion?
I dunno if its my oppinion or not - but this interests me, alot.
This time last year I was invited to Night of the Senses with a friend ( not disabled ) ( and i'll apologise now for the lack of pc language cos i know its a contentious issue but i dont do PC, i just say what I think)
initially I loved the idea and was up for going for a really good experience of the event - no expectation of anything else... and then bottled it. Why? .... because I didnt know how i'd handle/ react if someone with a mental or physical disability came onto me. How shallow is that
so anyway I bottled it, and missed out on an, by all accounts, very good night. And i've thought about it alot since then.
I've come to the conclusion that its my own lack of knowledge and understanding thats the issue - I dont know how to 'be' with a disabled person. I have enough of a debate over whether its 'pc' to open a door for someone or offer to help reach things from a shelf in the supermarket, let alone what i'm suposed to do in the bedroom !! I dont wish to offend by calling someone 'disabled' when the pc term might be 'wheelchair-user' and appear ignorant to someone's needs because I dont understand what their needs are
I dont even know what I 'class' as a disability :dunno: ooo, getting myself in a right muddle here - i'll come back to this
ops: I didn't want to post on any big threads like this but bugger it. Damned if you do damned if you dont.
Thats pretty much as i think. I have a problem not with the person but how do i behave and act.
I would allways offer help be the able or not or lady or not and if they take offence to it then so be it. Thats just how i was bought up ie. offer my seat on a bus ect. To me thats comes with manners. Just think it's something the PC people have jumped on. This should be the norm.
Just realised that was not ontopic but disability should not have an impact on whether anyone wants to swing or not. If they enjoy it and people who they meet with enjoy it then what's the problem. Just my two pence.
Quote by Darkfire
I've come to the conclusion that its my own lack of knowledge and understanding thats the issue - I dont know how to 'be' with a disabled person.
Thats pretty much as i think. I have a problem not with the person but how do i behave and act.
Quote by Darkfire
I have enough of a debate over whether its 'pc' to open a door for someone or offer to help reach things from a shelf in the supermarket
I would allways offer help be the able or not or lady or not and if they take offence to it then so be it. Thats just how i was bought up ie. offer my seat on a bus ect. To me thats comes with manners. Just think it's something the PC people have jumped on. This should be the norm.
Just realised that was not ontopic but disability should not have an impact on whether anyone wants to swing or not. If they enjoy it and people who they meet with enjoy it then what's the problem. Just my two pence.
Master of Sex
has this thread now been officially hijacked....??
or would you like to know our experiences of getting a wheelchair in the hot-tub..??
:shock:
or would you like to know our experiences of getting a wheelchair in the hot-tub..??
:shock:
Definately ON track -
I am disabled - registered, blue badge the works, but how many of you that have met me have realised that I am a crip? (and I'm allowed to say that coz I can call myself whatever I want :P )
Mids will no doubt speak up on this one too, but from the horse's mouth (old nag any way), my disability varies on the weather and if I have to climb mountains or swing from chandeliers. :shock: For those of you who don't know, I have arthritis and a twisted spine that effects my nerve system, resulting in very painful cramps and spasms, much worse in cold and damp conditions but still likely to flare up even in warm weather.
I'm the one who is a teensy bit paranoid about my health. I'd hate for anyone to see me in my wheelchair (yes I have one and use it when I really really don't have any other option
), however, I also recognise that for some, even the sight of a walking stick can make them wary. Be honest, we're here to shag and if you have to worry about what your partner can or can't physically do - could put you off before you start. In the beginning, I never mentioned the walking stick until 2nd or third email/pm etc because I wanted the person I was interested in to get to know ME before considering my abilities. Rightly or wrongly, that was my choice and that's how I went about it.
I have to say, mentioning arthritis DID put some off, so I stopped telling people - remember I am speaking about when I first joined the swing scene.
To this day, I am reluctant to display any weakness because it isn't in my character to accept pitying looks - except when maybe Mids is being an ass but that doesn't happen often! I tend to 'hibernate' when not well or, if we have guests, I hide it until they have gone then crawl off to my bed to recover.
My illness is always with me, its only the degree of pain that varies from day to day, but I'll be dammed if I'll let a little thing like crushing agony stop me from getting shagged! :P Bring on those endorphines (or however you spell it) coz they are better than painkillers or booze!
newt xx
I am disabled - registered, blue badge the works, but how many of you that have met me have realised that I am a crip? (and I'm allowed to say that coz I can call myself whatever I want :P )
Mids will no doubt speak up on this one too, but from the horse's mouth (old nag any way), my disability varies on the weather and if I have to climb mountains or swing from chandeliers. :shock: For those of you who don't know, I have arthritis and a twisted spine that effects my nerve system, resulting in very painful cramps and spasms, much worse in cold and damp conditions but still likely to flare up even in warm weather.
I'm the one who is a teensy bit paranoid about my health. I'd hate for anyone to see me in my wheelchair (yes I have one and use it when I really really don't have any other option
), however, I also recognise that for some, even the sight of a walking stick can make them wary. Be honest, we're here to shag and if you have to worry about what your partner can or can't physically do - could put you off before you start. In the beginning, I never mentioned the walking stick until 2nd or third email/pm etc because I wanted the person I was interested in to get to know ME before considering my abilities. Rightly or wrongly, that was my choice and that's how I went about it. I have to say, mentioning arthritis DID put some off, so I stopped telling people - remember I am speaking about when I first joined the swing scene.
To this day, I am reluctant to display any weakness because it isn't in my character to accept pitying looks - except when maybe Mids is being an ass but that doesn't happen often!
I tend to 'hibernate' when not well or, if we have guests, I hide it until they have gone then crawl off to my bed to recover.My illness is always with me, its only the degree of pain that varies from day to day, but I'll be dammed if I'll let a little thing like crushing agony stop me from getting shagged! :P Bring on those endorphines (or however you spell it) coz they are better than painkillers or booze!
newt xx
I have two male friends who are disabled. Both are in wheelchairs for different reasons and have different levels of abilities.
They both have active sex lives and have had long term relationships.
I don't personally have any problem with being intimate with any woman that I find attractive. So can't really forsee where a disability would cause me any problem.
I think that we all have boundaries that can't be crossed and I am sure that there are boundaries that I would cross that others wouldn't. I have a problem with skin disorders esp those that affect the hands... anything like eczema or psoriasis on the hands is a turn off for me. I am sure that in most peoples' minds I am uptight because of this.
For me a disability in others would only cause me a problem if it prevented that person from doing what I found erotic (in terms of a sexual relationship) and hands being a very erotic part of the body for me would have to be soft and smooth.
I hope that I have said this in a thoughtful way and have not offended anyone. But I wanted to add my opinion.
They both have active sex lives and have had long term relationships.
I don't personally have any problem with being intimate with any woman that I find attractive. So can't really forsee where a disability would cause me any problem.
I think that we all have boundaries that can't be crossed and I am sure that there are boundaries that I would cross that others wouldn't. I have a problem with skin disorders esp those that affect the hands... anything like eczema or psoriasis on the hands is a turn off for me. I am sure that in most peoples' minds I am uptight because of this.
For me a disability in others would only cause me a problem if it prevented that person from doing what I found erotic (in terms of a sexual relationship) and hands being a very erotic part of the body for me would have to be soft and smooth.
I hope that I have said this in a thoughtful way and have not offended anyone. But I wanted to add my opinion.
Quote by new2trot
To this day, I am reluctant to display any weakness because it isn't in my character to accept pitying looks - except when maybe Mids is being an ass but that doesn't happen often!
I understand what you are saying
When my crohn's disease was in a big flare up befor my op last year i used to shout and ball at my family if they looked at me with any pitty (due to being bent double with stomach cramps).
I hate to be seen when this flares up. Some people have told me that CD is a disability and i can get help but i don't like to be seen that way i still feel 100%.
I don't know if CD is a disability i won't find out through choice.
Orgasminator
For someone to actually speak up on LMU and say they will meet with disabled people is a credit to them 
This site used to be very open minded and i can remember in the old days disabled people posting in the cafe asking if their disablity would affect their swinging with others, and rightly so all were welcomed into the fold.
I truly hope that the site does not degenerate into able bodied swingers only as obviously WE will no longer be welcome here and nor would we want to be associated with a site that allows bigotry or ridicule of disabled people in any form.
If people are not prepared to meet with swingers who have a disability than that is their CHOICE and that is not the issue.
The issue is expressing that opinion in a demeaning manner to both disabled people and those who have made a choice to swing with them.
Mids.
This site used to be very open minded and i can remember in the old days disabled people posting in the cafe asking if their disablity would affect their swinging with others, and rightly so all were welcomed into the fold.
I truly hope that the site does not degenerate into able bodied swingers only as obviously WE will no longer be welcome here and nor would we want to be associated with a site that allows bigotry or ridicule of disabled people in any form.
If people are not prepared to meet with swingers who have a disability than that is their CHOICE and that is not the issue.
The issue is expressing that opinion in a demeaning manner to both disabled people and those who have made a choice to swing with them.
Mids.
I think it really does depend on each person's perception of what 'disability' is. I dont mean to sound 'dismissive' - and blue badge or not, I personally dont consider Crohns or Arthritis a disability which would 'put me off' playing. I think as long as I clicked sexually with the person, it wouldnt matter about their disability - I've opened my mind considerably since the Night of the Senses thing last year.
I feel like I'd need to ask someone what they can and cant do, what they need help with or what I need to do, and to understand. There is someone I'd like to play with here, but to be honest I'm 'scared' to ask the questions, but without the questions it just aint gonna happen, but with the questions i'm gonna look silly and naive and 'nosey' for not understanding in the first place so they wont want to play with me anyway
I feel like I'd need to ask someone what they can and cant do, what they need help with or what I need to do, and to understand. There is someone I'd like to play with here, but to be honest I'm 'scared' to ask the questions, but without the questions it just aint gonna happen, but with the questions i'm gonna look silly and naive and 'nosey' for not understanding in the first place so they wont want to play with me anyway
Sex God
Quote by new2trot
...but I'll be dammed if I'll let a little thing like crushing agony stop me from getting shagged!
do we do awards for dedication and services to swinging and sex
