Discretion

23 Apr 2007

I was having a chat with someone yesterday about the importance of being discreet.
Now both I and this other person were in agreement that it doesnt really matter to us who knows who weve been meeting/ who we would like to meet etc.
Obviously I would never say anything if the other person that I met wanted me to be discreet. That goes without saying.
I also realise each to their own, but for future reference wink

:twisted: how discreet do you like to be?
Do you care if anyone knows what you've been up to? would you be mortified :shock: to find out that people know what you've been up to?
Do you shout it from the rooftops? or do you keep it between a select few/ to yourself
Has you or someone else not being discreet caused you problems in the past.
Louise xx

23 Apr 2007

for me it depends, i frequent the same chat room all the time, the people in that room, most know me and have met me socially, they have seen who i am with, so although they know who i am with, and some of what i get up to as its been in a club, i require discretion when it comes down to what i've been doing, i dont think they need to know the ins and outs of it all blow by blow.
i am very discreet about the people i play with as i know most of them require this.
does this make sense, i think what i am trying to say is because of the social nature of the chat room and a lot of us using the same place, part of it isnt really discreet.
but in all other aspects i am very discreet and expect the same in return.

23 Apr 2007

Interesting thread. :thumbup:
In terms of discretion there are times when other people know anyway.
e.g. if you're shagging in a club then others are going to see you.
If there's a bunch of you statying in the same hotel and you're coming out of someone's room in the morning and pass everyone making their way to the breakfast room.
To me it's a question of motives.
If you're all happy and the odd thing gets mentioned fine.
What I really dislike is people who purposely namedrop who they've shagged as a form of self advertisement - especially when it's without the other person's consent mad

23 Apr 2007

Regarding SH, I have slept with people that have asked for complete discretion, it is/was given.
I have slept with other people who have no issue with others knowing we have had fun but I'm not the sort to shout their names from the rooftops. lol

23 Apr 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
Interesting thread. :thumbup:
In terms of discretion there are times when other people know anyway.
e.g. if you're shagging in a club then others are going to see you.
If there's a bunch of you statying in the same hotel and you're coming out of someone's room in the morning and pass everyone making their way to the breakfast room.
To me it's a question of motives.
If you're all happy and the odd thing gets mentioned fine.
What I really dislike is people who purposely namedrop who they've shagged as a form of self advertisement - especially when it's without the other person's consent

thank you, my ramblings above were trying to say the same thing passionkiss

23 Apr 2007

I don't mind who knows who I've met whether it's socially or for fun. Most of my meets are social anyway and to me, that's just like having a night in/out with friends but if anything else goes on, that's between me and them.
I don't have a problem with people saying we've met up so long as any intimate details are kept private wink

The Pussy Posse members wear their badges proudly ( I hope confused

) but I would never EVER divulge if any nocturnal activities happened between them all. Best keep you men guessing :twisted:

23 Apr 2007

Quote by Sassy-Seren
Best keep you men guessing :twisted:

never leave a man alone with his imagination!
lp

23 Apr 2007

Well we like to think were discreet and now realise just how important such things can be..
Just yesterday we have both changed our mobile numbers after some stupid git has gone just a tad too far.. Now we know who we give our numbers to but never thought other couples would take it on themselves to pass our number on to someone else!
Yep, strange calls from a guy pretending to be the male half from this couple lol.. describing in detail the fun from the previous meet we had had with them.. etc etc and can he have phone sex please!!
The only way possible they could have had both details (phone and knowledge of play) would be from this couple/male.. So two new moblies and a stern warning to the couple in question, also great fun and what we thought a good relationship ruined as a result. Oh well..... Next!! lol

:lol: :D :lol: :D
Mike xx

23 Apr 2007

Quote by Kiss
Regarding SH, I have slept with people that have asked for complete discretion, it is/was given.
I have slept with other people who have no issue with others knowing we have had fun but I'm not the sort to shout their names from the rooftops.

Me too!! Aint that right Missy?? :happy: :smug: :smug: :smug: :happy: :happy: :happy:
Oh Bugger!!!! :doh: :doh: :doh:
I got my lists mixed up!!! confused

:? :?

ops: :oops: :oops: wink

23 Apr 2007

Quote by mdr2000
Well we like to think were discreet and now realise just how important such things can be..
Just yesterday we have both changed our mobile numbers after some stupid git has gone just a tad too far.. Now we know who we give our numbers to but never thought other couples would take it on themselves to pass our number on to someone else!
Yep, strange calls from a guy pretending to be the male half from this couple lol.. describing in detail the fun from the previous meet we had had with them.. etc etc and can he have phone sex please!!
The only way possible they could have had both details (phone and knowledge of play) would be from this couple/male.. So two new moblies and a stern warning to the couple in question, also great fun and what we thought a good relationship ruined as a result. Oh well..... Next!! :lol: :D :lol: :D
Mike xx

Gordon Bennett Mike! What twats! Don't it make you so cross that YOU are the ones put out by other peoples stupidity and indiscretion rolleyes

pink x

23 Apr 2007

Of course there are those, lol

(mentioning no names here) who get caught on CCTV, and have to spend some time convincing the landlord of a pub to hand over the tape or delete its contents!!.
Re The PP:- he STILL keeps on asking what happened, and I still keep saying nothing, one day he will believe me!!
:twisted:

23 Apr 2007

Quote by Sarah
Re The PP:- he STILL keeps on asking what happened, and I still keep saying nothing, one day he will believe me!!
:twisted:

Let him suffer innocent

23 Apr 2007

Quote by Sarah
Of course there are those, (mentioning no names here) who get caught on CCTV, and have to spend some time convincing the landlord of a pub to hand over the tape or delete its contents!!.

23 Apr 2007

We are always very discreet even with the details of whom we are in contact with. Reason being is cus its not something you ask about certainly before anything has happenened. Would you like a shag and whilst were here if you do do you mind if we hint about it to other people, hmmm.
One of our previous encounters nothing to do with the site decided to tell people at the pub I drink in surprised

I managed to play it down and it was some time ago now so its drifted down to speculation as the person involved is known as a bit of a bull shitter anyway. Now that the time has passed I can have some fun with it at times smile

I get people that stand at the bar and look at me, just by saying "something you want to know?" normally has them away from the bar forgetting thier peanuts. At Christmas whilst chatting to a mate I announced rather loudly that I would be having some friends round my house for a party in the new year and several older people who live in my street had faces I severly wanted pictures of biggrin

23 Apr 2007

We absolutely need to be discreet as for us we dont want people we know finding out what a dirty pair of so and so's we really are lol

But on a serious note we were chatting to a couple recently who were positively gagging to tell us who/what and where they had been playing with, and were asking us the same questions.
We told them that it was none of their business as to whom we had met and that it was in our opinion rude to ask. We decided not to pursue any further contact with them as we thought that they would perhaps be a little too lax with information about us to other people they were chatting with.
Incidentally on this matter, to make those who do not realise aware of this, "tagging" ie getting an email from someone on your contact list inviting you to "be there friend" on a website etc is a way that they can access the email adreses' of all of your other contacts so they can see who you have been chatting to and see who you have as contacts. My advice DONT ACCEPT!! its very, very sneaky! mad

23 Apr 2007

Quote by Sarah
Re The PP:- he STILL keeps on asking what happened, and I still keep saying nothing, one day he will believe me!!
:twisted:

Didn't help with all the texts we were sending him lol

23 Apr 2007

In the early days when I was on this site I went to a social & blatantly hinted as to where & who I was with the night before redface

Very soon after I got a very polite PM giving me the heads up that some people may have an issue about it being known to others on SH who they been with...
I thank you for those kind words of advice Sir worship

Ever since then I have kept it :gagged: & only responded if the other party has made it known to others...
..then & only then will I join in with the banter biggrin

I have no problems with anybody knowing who I have or have not been intimate with.
Not in a 'notch on the bedpost' way...
I just don't believe in keeping secrets about myself from anybody
:shock: 'cept my mum! :scared:
Anyway if I leave the windows open the next door neighbors would hear about it before you lot! surprised

ops:

23 Apr 2007

Whoops, I've just been indiscrete on another thread. But it was only him up there, so it doesn't really matter wink

Seriously, if the other party is as happy for it to be "broadcast" during light hearted banter, then thats cool with me. However, if I was in any doubt whatsoever I would be :censored:
:thumbup:

23 Apr 2007

We prefer to keep our meets private and prefer discretion. Each to their own though smile

23 Apr 2007

Personally i have no problem who knows who i see and to some fellow munchers now it's pretty clear to see.
One thing i have and will do is ask first before i say anything and any thing i do tell is quite vague and only to those who i trust.
I also allways ask before posting anything that may let out who i see in the forums.
It's one of those topics where it's different for each individual and so better to ask first and find out what is ok and what is not.

23 Apr 2007

Quote by blueandpink
Well we like to think were discreet and now realise just how important such things can be..
Just yesterday we have both changed our mobile numbers after some stupid git has gone just a tad too far.. Now we know who we give our numbers to but never thought other couples would take it on themselves to pass our number on to someone else!
Yep, strange calls from a guy pretending to be the male half from this couple lol.. describing in detail the fun from the previous meet we had had with them.. etc etc and can he have phone sex please!!
The only way possible they could have had both details (phone and knowledge of play) would be from this couple/male.. So two new moblies and a stern warning to the couple in question, also great fun and what we thought a good relationship ruined as a result. Oh well..... Next!! :lol: :D :lol: :D
Mike xx

Gordon Bennett Mike! What twats! Don't it make you so cross that YOU are the ones put out by other peoples stupidity and indiscretion rolleyes

pink x
The best part was they/he denied it.. No way would they/he etc etc Blah blah blah.. Made us cross in the fact he must have thought that little to start with to brag to whoever about things AND pass the guy the number whilst really making out we were all sort of good buddies..
Were not naive enough to think were anything other than fun with nice people lol but we never expected anyone to do that ff's.. Mind, his Good lady is more than slightly peed off too though..
We ok, were laughing about things now as such..
Thanks for your words though xxx
Mike xx

23 Apr 2007

ive found so many who do not appear to have clue about discretion.
i often find myself in the chat room and people will drop hints to make it plain they have met me or chatted in private about me.
i tend to not tell anyone my name now, far to often have people "slipped" up and said my name or where i live openly in the chat room.
ive even had guys send me pics i have never asked for saying... this is a pic of me with xxxxx and xxxxx shagging the mrs so you can see im genuine :shock:
no what i can see is you cant be trusted.
sometimes the discretion has been broken in a stupid way .. i get a pm from someone asking what xxxxx is like as they are considering meeting them and my name was given to pass reference :shock: again this i dont mind IF i have been asked first.
never kiss and tell, unless the person is a complete fake and stupid enough to give my name as verification, well theve given me licence to talk and tell them what a prat the guy is lol
xxxx fem xxx

23 Apr 2007

I personally regard descretion as extremley important, on both sides but thats just me. Well I say me its not as there are other peoples feelings involved, so no never no way. cool

24 Apr 2007

Quote by redpantherman
Anyway if I leave the windows open the next door neighbors would hear about it before you lot!

Well you have to leave something open seeing as you get locked out so much rolleyes

:giggle:
louise xx

24 Apr 2007

In a way this discretion thing is a bit odd.
We chat very openly about sex in the chatrooms or Forum, we discuss or advertise quite graphicly our preferences, fantasies and what we have experienced so far.
We talk in great detail, erotically or clinically, about what we would like to do or have done to us.
Yet when it actually comes down to the doing, we clam up. And that's the accepted norm. confused

Not saying it's right or wrong - just saying.

24 Apr 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
In a way this discretion thing is a bit odd.
We chat very openly about sex in the chatrooms or Forum, we discuss or advertise quite graphicly our preferences, fantasies and what we have experienced so far.
We talk in great detail, erotically or clinically, about what we would like to do or have done to us.
Yet when it actually comes down to the doing, we clam up. And that's the accepted norm.
Not saying it's right or wrong - just saying.

Different thing altogether.. Chatting 'about' it is one thing.. Telling a mate or others what you did with people is another, especially if you have no interest in meeting with that or those people..
Just my opinion... !!

24 Apr 2007

But why is it different? That's what i was getting at. Why is it not ok to talk about who and what we did? Why is it still private, intimate, personal, behind closed doors (even when it's not!) ?
it seems terribly ... British for want of a better word!

24 Apr 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
But why is it different? That's what i was getting at. Why is it not ok to talk about who and what we did? Why is it still private, intimate, personal, behind closed doors (even when it's not!) ?
it seems terribly ... British for want of a better word!

oh come on marya! saying 'i shagged mr x and mrs x last night, we 69'ed for hours, he had a massive cock, she was a bit rubbish, but on the whole mr and mrs x weren't half bad' is not at all the same thing as saying 'i had a right play last night thanks to SH, and got shagged silly by a lovely couple! because as soon as you drop the names in, you personalise the whole thing, and just chuck your little experience out there for public consumption.
what i do with certain people, even when certain other people know full well what i did with certain people, is no buggers business but mine. if i incidentally allow others to click on to the fact we played, mainly cos they were in the next bedroom and could hear / see us, well fair enough, but i ain't about to tell you what happened. always nice to leave 'em guessing with a wry smile! ((( smile, then everyone else will wonder what you been up to, or summat?! ;) )))
course, i have no problem with anyone coming on here saying that neilinleeds has a lovely willy, and he's a fucking great shag so he is! :P ;)
n x x x ;)

24 Apr 2007

neilinleeds has a lovely willy, and he's a fucking great shag so he is! :twisted: :twisted:
Hi Nellie! biggrin

Fee
XX

24 Apr 2007

Quote by neilinleeds
what i do with certain people, even when certain other people know full well what i did with certain people, is no buggers business but mine. if i incidentally allow others to click on to the fact we played, mainly cos they were in the next bedroom and could hear / see us, well fair enough, but i ain't about to tell you what happened.

totally agree, what i do is my business, others seem to think it is their business too, for some, they see it as because we are in the swinging community, and have an alleged open minded mentality, its ok for everyone to know what goes on, after all, we are swingers
my choice is, that i wish for who i play with , and what i do, to be private, but because others dont see it that way, i am finding myself very hesitant to get involved with people, until i get to know them better, and find out their views, on the scene, and how they 'use' the scene, which is why i dont play with people i dont know
and Neil, good to see you about smile