Discretion

31 Jul 2008

I cant believe how yet again one thread has inspired another (this forum is rockin at the minute :bounce smile

but going on from the cams at parties thread...it got me to thinking about how much information you would let be known about you with regards to swinging?
Say if i came into the forums and said...ooohh I dunno...i had been fucked up against the bakery wall in Cleethorpes High street at am this morning by Dick Longschlong and he was amazing......how much of that is too much?
should i be keeping details out like place time etc, just be vague
should i just make a veiled reference with a nudge nudge wink wink
is it acceptable to be so detailed and Mr Longschlong esq should be grateful I have given him a good
reference for use by potential playmates
or is it totally wrong to let anyone know any details of who we have played with whatsoever?
Im just interested to know what others perceived levels of discretion are.
oh and BTW Mr Longschlong wasnt all that!! wink

31 Jul 2008

if i happened to be outstanding....then please tell details!
if i were abysmal...please be discrete with everything!! biggrin

31 Jul 2008

I tend to think the less is more school of thought is the best policy.
Ideally, noone but the person I've played with should know. In real life, I may say that I've met someone and indeed that I've had a playing-type meet with someone, but beyond that no details. And this would tend to only be in conversation with one of the (few) people that I consider real friends on here.
In the forum or a chatroom then no details please... :shock: I've said it before, it's sooooo not about boasting or bedpost notches for me!

31 Jul 2008

Undoubtedly you tell every little detail, unless it was about me then I'd accept nothing less than a vow of silence :twisted:
Ain't human nature groovy! rolleyes

31 Jul 2008

Excellent timing Mrs Bonedigger! I just posted on the bi status thread re a similar thing, sort of....
Less is more is about right I think...... :gagged:

31 Jul 2008

thats similar to my train of thought Nola, discussion one to one with close SH friends i would say is ok, but apart from my dalliance with the aforementioned member (which i had a heart stopping moment thought migh be a real user ID before i checked, AFTER i had posted my OP)
apart from that if i wanted to comment on something extraordinary about the meet then i would be at the very least sketchy and certainly no names or identifying details

31 Jul 2008

In my opinion it should be no details whatsoever. I have some great mates on here. None of them have been told who I've had sex with. I think if you have sex with someone else in a swinging situation it should be between you and the person you were with. However if I had a really bad experience and the person I met turned out to be a possible danger to someone else then I would probably have to say something if I knew one of my friends was meeting them.
I do like hearing everyone else's gossip though. It can be very enlightening wink

31 Jul 2008

Quote by Firelizard
In my opinion it should be no details whatsoever. I have some great mates on here. None of them have been told who I've had sex with. I think if you have sex with someone else in a swinging situation it should be between you and the person you were with. However if I had a really bad experience and the person I met turned out to be a possible danger to someone else then I would probably have to say something if I knew one of my friends was meeting them.
I do like hearing everyone else's gossip though. It can be very enlightening

You bleedin hypocrite! :lol2:
And, erm, what is the new avatar? confused

31 Jul 2008

Quote by winchwench
In my opinion it should be no details whatsoever. I have some great mates on here. None of them have been told who I've had sex with. I think if you have sex with someone else in a swinging situation it should be between you and the person you were with. However if I had a really bad experience and the person I met turned out to be a possible danger to someone else then I would probably have to say something if I knew one of my friends was meeting them.
I do like hearing everyone else's gossip though. It can be very enlightening

You bleedin hypocrite! :lol2:
And, erm, what is the new avatar? confused

It's Fire

and no I'm not a hypocrite....I don't ask for gossip...I just listen if it comes my way lol

31 Jul 2008

I'm all for discretion, I'm an extremely private person and would absolutely be hopping mad if someone said anything in public or to a close friend (however they choose to define friend).
On the other hand... through someone's indiscretion on a forum and a third party pic on a profile etc. etc. is how I caught an ex lying and cheating! confused

:? So that particular member did me a favour in the long run! Not this site by the way.

31 Jul 2008

post deleted by user

31 Jul 2008

Quote by Sassy-Seren
it would seem to all and sundry that I have shagged the entire SH site!

Bugger, I've been missed out again. Damn these minging features of mine :P

31 Jul 2008

Quote by Sassy-Seren
I've had a little run in with indiscretions this evening as it happens. People adding 2 and 2 and coming up with 27! If my flirting is anything to go by, it would seem to all and sundry that I have shagged the entire SH site!
Maybe stop surmising who is meeting who and for what, hmmmmm?

Yeah, know what you mean... I was in chatroom a while back and got told that someone in there hated me because I had 'taken' people off them... not only was it like being back in a very infantile playground but :doh: the assumptions that folk make just 'cos you flirt... rolleyes

My god, like I don't have other stuff to do, all the flippin' shagging I was alleged to have done!
rotflmao

I left 'em to it...
Grrrrr... to whoever's been gossiping Sassy. :x

31 Jul 2008

post deleted by user

31 Jul 2008

I tend to think its another of those terribly british diseases. In that discretion is employed supposedly to keep a secret, but more often than not is the vehicle of letting people know what you are doing via someone else's mouth. Often passing on the deceit.
If you want to keep a secret don't tell anyone what you have been doing.

1 Aug 2008

Quote by noladreams30
Yeah, know what you mean... I was in chatroom a while back and got told that someone in there hated me because I had 'taken' people off them... not only was it like being back in a very infantile playground but :doh: the assumptions that folk make just 'cos you flirt... My god, like I don't have other stuff to do, all the flippin' shagging I was alleged to have done!
I left 'em to it...
Grrrrr... to whoever's been gossiping Sassy.

wtf... we areon a swinging site ? I am positively enthralled if someone is flirting with someone that I am interested in. It means that my choice is validated. The person I am interested in can flirt (an essential requirement) and potentially they are upto the job, especially if I get the impression that they have had sex then at least I know they are capable.
ffs... it is a swinging site. We should all be at it like rabbits with as many people as possible. (all usual caveats apply obviously)

1 Aug 2008

Being the 'romantic swinger type' I prefer not to know about my future victims history of swinging. I also would class myself as a fairly private person sexually and would rather not discuss previous meets with people, although sometimes I don't mind talking about experiences, especially if they do relate to a potential meet.
I think it is better to say nothing because quite frankly why do people need to know?

1 Aug 2008

I couldn't care less that the person I am about to fuck all ways 'till wednesday.. (well actually that is a little ambitious, probably for a few hours at best)
anyway, I couldn't care less about their sexual history. As long as they know what they are doing with me- great :thumbup:
I certainly am interested in their history in terms of their boundaries.. the more variety they have done the better. The identity of the people behind those meets is of no interest to me.
I don't like people talking about me specifically. I have seen 'me' being mentioned many times in the forums. It doesn't bother me as I can't be recognised and I trust those that I have sex with to be as discreet about me as I am about them. No names no pack drill blah blah blah.

1 Aug 2008

I'm a bit undecided about this.
I don't think there's anything wrong in commenting on events (private or site) that have happened - it gives an insight into what people are like, as well as showing people that it's NOT necessarily all about sex and that yes, people do meet.
What I dislike are constant references to where you are/where you're going/what you're doing/have done or intend to do to them. confused

Sometimes it's just a little over the top and too much information. Someone's thread was locked last week because he gave too many details of a meet with someone else on here, and rightly so. Whether the other party was aware of the post or not, it was indiscreet. If it's someone shagging another member who happens to be in a (vanilla) relationship outside of SH, I think they're leaving themselves wide open for being named as party to a separation/divorce, should the vanilla find out what their other half is up to.

1 Aug 2008

Quote by vodka_babe22uk
did the yeast make him rise mrs b

yes hun hes the pillsbury dough boy!!!!!! :giggle:

1 Aug 2008

I don't have any problem with my exploits being used as anecdotes but have mixed feelings about being mentioned specifically. I'm not really bothered about who knows what about me, but I'm never really sure what the person(s) I am with at the time of the events of the anecdote feel about it so I like to play safe and keep things in general terms.
I suppose I'm lucky with respect to the fact that my lifestyle choices don't affect other aspects of my lifestyle. Both by kids either know or suspect what I get up to (my youngest is still trying to get me to admit that I've "tag-teamed" a married couple) and the specifics should they find out wouldn't be a shock to them. I don't give a monkey's about what my parents or my neighbours think and I don't have an official job to lose.

1 Aug 2008

This one time, there was this, erm, gerbil....and what happened was.....

1 Aug 2008

Quote by Bonedigger
or is it totally wrong to let anyone know any details of who we have played with whatsoever?

Just read again and realised I didn't answer this bit.
I don't think it's wrong, as long as all parties involved, don't mind others knowing. They might also limit that by saying they don't mind names being used, as long as it's not on forum. If someone asked me not to 'broadcast' that I've played with them, I wouldn't.

1 Aug 2008

Quote by Firelizard
I think if you have sex with someone else in a swinging situation it should be between you and the person you were with. However if I had a really bad experience and the person I met turned out to be a possible danger to someone else then I would probably have to say something if I knew one of my friends was meeting them.

That is pretty much my view. If the person or people you are meeting don't want the meet discussed in public then you have no choice really but to respect that. If someone is needed as a 'reference' then most people are happy to do that without going into too much detail.
If however someone does turn out to be a danger, or just shitty and disrespectful then I think it is totally appropriate to warn people either on here or in PMs.
But be very careful! Be sure you have your facts right before condemning anyone in public or even private.
L x

1 Aug 2008

Quote by Bonedigger

did the yeast make him rise mrs b

yes hun hes the pillsbury dough boy!!!!!! :giggle:
I've even heard it suggested that yeast can turn centimetres into inches.... or is that all in the imagination!
Or maybe it's the self-raising flour that certain people put in their cakes?
Steve

2 Aug 2008

So is there a similarity in discretion and validation? As it seems the conversation is swinging happily between the two. With some who appeared to be dead against the v word being okay with discretion, or at least aspects of its application.