Shit, and kicked out of comes rapidly to mind.
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Do any of you just do socials?
Sex God
everyone has already given all the practical advice and help, so all i can add is my support. what a complete c###t. i hope he dies roaring in fecking agony.
Sex God
Curvy, you've done absolutly nothing wrong, except let a piece of human garbage get too close to you :therethere:
I can understand why you're worried about coming to an event, but they are very well organised, most of the attendees are established members who know how to behave. anyone who steps out of line and ignores a warning will not only have to suffer the concequences of 60 or more pissed off blokes, but also a lot of pissed off women too.
you'll be safer at a munch than most vanilla events. once you overcome your initial fears, you'll have a great time.
i'm sure the lovely Miss Darkfire or Earthy will escort you too and from the event (and no body messes with Miss D
) so don't let this moron spoil your experience on here, 99.9% of the people on this site are the best people you could hope to meet, so please get yourself along to an event and you'll see just how great the people on here are.
As for telling your brothers, i can see why your reluctant, if someone did anything close to that to my sisters, at best i'd castrate the scumbag myself
i would suggest that should you ever see him around again, summon up every ounce of courage you have, walk right up to him and tell him if you ever hear of him doing anything like that again, your brothers get to hear the full story of what he did.
don't let this beat you
I can understand why you're worried about coming to an event, but they are very well organised, most of the attendees are established members who know how to behave. anyone who steps out of line and ignores a warning will not only have to suffer the concequences of 60 or more pissed off blokes, but also a lot of pissed off women too.
you'll be safer at a munch than most vanilla events. once you overcome your initial fears, you'll have a great time.
i'm sure the lovely Miss Darkfire or Earthy will escort you too and from the event (and no body messes with Miss D
) so don't let this moron spoil your experience on here, 99.9% of the people on this site are the best people you could hope to meet, so please get yourself along to an event and you'll see just how great the people on here are.As for telling your brothers, i can see why your reluctant, if someone did anything close to that to my sisters, at best i'd castrate the scumbag myself
i would suggest that should you ever see him around again, summon up every ounce of courage you have, walk right up to him and tell him if you ever hear of him doing anything like that again, your brothers get to hear the full story of what he did.
don't let this beat you
Quote by curvy-gal
hey xxx
Thinking about this afterwards, drinks aside and all, I'm starting to think that a lot of this is my own fault and because of this, it makes me a really unsuitable swinger if I feel i cant tell someone to leave when i'm feeling really uncomfortable with them doesnt it.
Curvy xxx
I've read this again please do not think that. Whether u swing or not this is not your fault and drinking has nothing to do with it. He did wrong and he needs sorting.
Sex God
Quote by goose35
hey xxx
Thinking about this afterwards, drinks aside and all, I'm starting to think that a lot of this is my own fault and because of this, it makes me a really unsuitable swinger if I feel i cant tell someone to leave when i'm feeling really uncomfortable with them doesnt it.
Curvy xxx
I've read this again please do not think that. Whether u swing or not this is not your fault and drinking has nothing to do with it. He did wrong and he needs sorting.
well said goose!!I'm not gonna talk about socials etc cos i think everyone else has covered it so well, all i can say is pleeeeease don't feel guilty/like its your own fault etc.
you were put in a situation you weren't expecting at all, and you never know how you are going to react in such a situation. It's easy in hindsight to say 'I should have told him to leave' but i think you did all the right things that you could have done, you made it clear to him and he was the one pushing things and taking advantage.
You went out with someone you trusted, and he clearly used that against you- how could you do anything to stop that?
I have had a very similair experience, when drunk, with someone trying to get into my flat, the most sensible thing would have been to go and phone the police which EVERYONE said 'why didn't you?', instead, i hid in my wardrobe petrified!!
I can laugh about it now, but It really seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but I would never have thought I would do something so stupid, but again, it was such an unexpected thing to happen to me that night....
Anyway I'm rambling...
but big kisses and I
hope this arsehole hasn't spoiled things for you and you can keep going enjoying what you're comfortable with!maz xxxxxxxx
Sex God
Unless you had your hand down his pants while you were drinking, I can't see how any part of this could be your fault. Even if you did, he's supposed to stop at the first "no" (and not get into your bed uninvited in the first place). It's the Rules.
I understand where that feeling comes from though. At least, I know where it comes from when I feel it. It's that deep dark part of the mind that still thinks it's a naughty child (and always to blame when something goes wrong). It needs reminding that it isn't. You just have to keep telling yourself that you did nothing wrong.
At least on here you can get to know people a bit in the Cafe or the chatroom, get to know them for real at munches, and then YOU decide who, what, when, and if. It's got to be safer than going home with someone you've met at the pub.
I understand where that feeling comes from though. At least, I know where it comes from when I feel it. It's that deep dark part of the mind that still thinks it's a naughty child (and always to blame when something goes wrong). It needs reminding that it isn't. You just have to keep telling yourself that you did nothing wrong.
At least on here you can get to know people a bit in the Cafe or the chatroom, get to know them for real at munches, and then YOU decide who, what, when, and if. It's got to be safer than going home with someone you've met at the pub.
Curvy,
This rings sooooo many bells hun!
I had an incredibly similar experience very recently- I made the mistake of trusting someone who plied me with drink & tried to take advantage of the situation. I too was in a very vulnerable situation with this guy. Time & time again as he groped I told him "no", it wasnt happening.
However, the situation meant that although I was telling him (& meaning) no- I was wary about how I did it so as not to inflame the situation & risk him turningreally nasty.
He didnt let up until I managed to get away from him long enough to get my best mate- yet he still tried to get past her.
This all happened in a very closed environment, where you dont go shouting your mouth off. However, I did tell another friend, who lives there permanently. He warned this guy off in no uncertain terms- to the extent that when I went back he didn't dare even get left alone in a room with me.
My biggest problem after was what it did to me mentally. I have always liked & respected blokes immensely- and never been one for the "all guys are...." school of thought. He came pretty close to doing so, but I will not let this tosser ruin my trust & faith in men in general. I'll just be a damn sight more choosy about who I drink with in future.
You'll be fine hun- trust me :therethere:
This rings sooooo many bells hun!
I had an incredibly similar experience very recently- I made the mistake of trusting someone who plied me with drink & tried to take advantage of the situation. I too was in a very vulnerable situation with this guy. Time & time again as he groped I told him "no", it wasnt happening.
However, the situation meant that although I was telling him (& meaning) no- I was wary about how I did it so as not to inflame the situation & risk him turningreally nasty.
He didnt let up until I managed to get away from him long enough to get my best mate- yet he still tried to get past her.
This all happened in a very closed environment, where you dont go shouting your mouth off. However, I did tell another friend, who lives there permanently. He warned this guy off in no uncertain terms- to the extent that when I went back he didn't dare even get left alone in a room with me.
My biggest problem after was what it did to me mentally. I have always liked & respected blokes immensely- and never been one for the "all guys are...." school of thought. He came pretty close to doing so, but I will not let this tosser ruin my trust & faith in men in general. I'll just be a damn sight more choosy about who I drink with in future.
You'll be fine hun- trust me :therethere:
Quote by curvy-gal
without sounding a bit selfish and heartless it nice to know (in a way) that some of you have been through the same.
I'm not very good with my words but i think you'll know what i mean lol
xx
I know yes.
Whatever happens there usually someone with the same experiance.
Wish u both well.
