hey xxx
I apologise in advance if i mumble on lol
right...
You may have noticed that i've been a bit quiet recently (not like me is it lol) but i've had a bit of a bad experience and its got nothing to do with SH but all the same I'd like to share it if thats ok.
Recently I was out drinking with a friend, I met a guy. He wasnt a total stranger, he knew my brothers and my parents, although I didnt know him directly. We were getting on great and he SEEMED like a complete gent. He insisted on walking me home, at first I said no, but as he insisted and he'd been so nice to me and knew my family and everything I didnt see the problem.
Once we got to my house... he kind of invited himself in, which I wasnt to worried about as he seemed a decent guy.
Then he said to me "seen asthough i've walked you up here I'll just stay. I'm not going walking all the way home in this rain"
By this time I was getting really uncomfortable with his presence and I know I should have told him where to go but I didnt... he set up bed on the sofa and I went to bed.
When I was half asleep he crawled into my bed and started touching me up.... without going into gory details I think I told him no less than 8 times "No" yet he still kept on...
Eventually he did give up and I know that I should have made him go then too, but I felt so scared and freaked that I didnt and lay awake for the rest of the night until he went at 8am the next day.
Thinking about this afterwards, drinks aside and all, I'm starting to think that a lot of this is my own fault and because of this, it makes me a really unsuitable swinger if I feel i cant tell someone to leave when i'm feeling really uncomfortable with them doesnt it.
So , still a bit freaked out by this, I've now taken my ad from my profile and really dont want to consider meets... although I love this site and dont want to go. there are some brilliant people on here and I still feel that I'd like to come to a social or a group meeting to meet you all (but not necessarily for play)
I was just wondering if any of you do the same and if its acceptable.
Sorry for going on
Curvy xxx
Curvy,
really sorry to hear this.... some men are like that play the gent card to get into your hourse then..... well they just think they will get away with it... but I won't get started on that... I just think it shows that they don't respect you as a person.
This site is for what you want it to be... as long as you are open about what you want and don't want then what is the prob.
This site is social site to us as well, we have people who we enjoy the company off and our friends to us.. We know others who are here for the social side as well. There is nothing wrong with that.
Just enjoy whatever you want from here...
Brill
I know it had nothing to do with SH but it just made me think... if someone can do it locally, then its gonna happen from the net.
And i've grown attached to this... speak to some great and lovely people, and i'd hate that to end because of what happenedand i'm not sure what I want anymore
lol I'm starting to confuse myself now
actually curvy in some ways I think there is less chance of it happening from here...
if it did happen you could make it very public that they had been that way with you... chances of them getting any more meets... none
in the normal world like you people are too afraid to be judged if they say about what has happened... this means that people still get away with it.
NO means NO, always has always will... and it should always be respected, if you aren't comfortable with something / someone you should always have the ability to say so without fear, and don't let well he knows so and so make you think that it is ok. If YOU aren't happy then it doesn't matter.
Not meant as a dig at you in fact the opposite, some people know that they put you into those positions and you feel awkward but don't do anything about it.
Hi Curvy
We think this site is like everywhere you meet people,you will get some great people who you get on with and others who for whatever reason you just don't get in answer to your just social question,even though we not been to munches etc we have met people from this site who are just people we meet for a chat and a drink and nothing sexual is ever going to happen between us,just for the fact there is no sexual attraction between us,but we like them as friends.
xxx
if one of my sisters ever came home and said that sort of thing had happened, i would not be responsible for my actions
no means no, end of
do not, in any way think you are not suited to swinging etc, you will get out of it what you want to, he isnt worth the space he takes up, its a reflection on him, not society in general
i cant begin to imagine how you are feeling right now, it would be easy to say if you said no and he carried on, your knee meeting his bollocks is the only answer, but you yourself said it, you was scared
you are right to put the barriers up, you will be right to be wary of anyone
when all is said and done, you would be well within your rights to go to the police, and report him, you said no, more than once
im so sorry you had to go through what you did, you didnt deserve to
Thanks for all your support guys.. I didnt really want to blurt it all out to you but I felt I had to as I feel a bit different now with a view to meeting than I did before.
I'm not gonna let it stop my social side to this and i'm still going to attend the munch, I just wanted to make sure it was acceptable first
xxx
cheers dark... and everyone... you wont believe how much better i actually feel just after these few minutes. I'm so glad i've got if off my chest now.
honey you are not alone, i had a bad experience myself a couple of weeks ago which i wont go into the details of apart from it left me with physical marks, and it had a similar effect on me,especially as we had played a few times before, i questioned the safety of one on one meets and have pretty much withdrawn from meeting anyone this way at the moment,
yes this is a swinging site, a sex site if you like, but it is oh so much more than that, its a community where we look out for our own, laugh together and sometimes cry together, and just because you have 'hung up your swinging shoes' as a certain lady puts it for now doesnt mean you are not welcome, so dont you dare disappear, i certainly wont stop playing or going to socials and munchs i will just be a lot more careful of how and where i do it.
Earthy xx
thanks earthy and sassy... it really does mean a lot to me xxxxxx
When you are ready to dip your toes in again, Curvy, how about a social-only meet with one or two of the ladies on here? That way you are out with people who know the scene you are in, but also who you will probably feel more comfortable with.
Just a thought, and only when you are totally ready hun. :therethere: