Do classic handsome looks spoil a man for swinging?
Does being a stunningly attractive man in the vanilla world develop attitudes which are unattractive in the swinging world?
Do they really believe they don’t have to try because they look good and just saying ‘OK’ is enough?
Now before you start on the single male bashing – my thoughts do have a twist. If you think ‘yes’ some of these guys think it should be laid on a plate because they look good – who really cultivated this undesirable attitude? When it comes to ‘bagging your mate’, in the vanilla world of teenagers and young adults, the female of the species is generally the most manipulative, back-stabbing, lie to your mate, sneak off on the quiet, do anything to get him creature there is. Young women will often do the chasing, flirting, hint dropping, drooling which build these attitudes of ‘I don’t have to try’ in their indented prey. I appreciate the same can be said in some respect for stunning ladies with ‘up their own arse’ attitudes – but stay with me on this one.
I am wondering what the connections are between behaviour in the vanilla world and the ‘turned tables of power’ in the swinging world.
‘They’ say single women (not just the bi ones) are like toy horse turd, but are they really? There are plenty in the chatrooms every night. But if you look at some of profiles and follow the chat, it becomes apparent that many are not interested in the more traditional swinging scenarios and more interested in 1-2-1 encounters (and it’s not unheard of for these encounters to be of the third kind – semi-serious/exclusive). So what has drawn them here? I don’t mean to imply they have no place here – more to theorise whether the ‘turned power table’ makes the swinging scene a more attractive environment to look for a singular fuck-buddy than other adult contact sites where the vanilla rules still largely apply.
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Do classic handsome looks spoil a man?
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Sex God
Whats the "turned tables of power"????
Not sure i really get what your meaning here?
Not sure i really get what your meaning here?
Sex God
Both.
Sex God
Dont see how thats so different outwith swinging? we all know that if a girl goes out to a pub and wants to pull she can, not the same for guys, except me(Den) because i have classic good looks on my side and need to make no effort whatsoever.
Sex God
why did it matter who asked the question?
Quote by PoloLady
Both.
OK - it is generally considered that women in the swinging world have the upper had, hold the most cards, have the control.... get chased and don't have to do the chasing
Without wanting to sound arrogant - which means I probably will - some of us men don't live or die by the swinging world. I tend to be choosy who I chase swinging or vanilla!
Quote by mazandden
Dont see how thats so different outwith swinging? we all know that if a girl goes out to a pub and wants to pull she can, not the same for guys, except me(Den) because i have classic good looks on my side and need to make no effort whatsoever.
Then that is your observation and your contribution to the theorising
Quote by poshkate
why did it matter who asked the question?
I think, knowing Polo as I do and her amazing ability to see 'through' situtations as opposed to look 'at' them, it would help her to explain where her thinking lay.... i.e. if she was explaining to a man (Den) as opposed to a women (Maz) her approach may be different - men are from Mars and women are from Venus etc etc
i dont know about the single exclusive fuck buddy, but maybe its because it is just that, a fuck buddy, nsa, rather than the vanilla world where its more likely to mean a relationship rather than just sex, not that a regular fuck buddy is always just sex.
dunno if i am explaining myself very well here but i know what i mean.
when i came on the scene as a single i only met single guys on a 1-2-1 basis, not the same one all the time, but if it was someone who clicked more than once, at this time the whole scene was very new to me in my naive little world i didnt even know it existed, its only as i have been around longer and moved on in my experiences and opportunities in the playing environment have i experimented with other things like clubs, parties, 3somes, groups etc.
i have confused myself now and have no idea if i have answered the question with my view, but i hope so.
Earthy xx
dunno if i am explaining myself very well here but i know what i mean.
when i came on the scene as a single i only met single guys on a 1-2-1 basis, not the same one all the time, but if it was someone who clicked more than once, at this time the whole scene was very new to me in my naive little world i didnt even know it existed, its only as i have been around longer and moved on in my experiences and opportunities in the playing environment have i experimented with other things like clubs, parties, 3somes, groups etc.
i have confused myself now and have no idea if i have answered the question with my view, but i hope so.
Earthy xx
Quote by earthchild
i dont know about the single exclusive fuck buddy, but maybe its because it is just that, a fuck buddy, nsa, rather than the vanilla world where its more likely to mean a relationship rather than just sex, not that a regular fuck buddy is always just sex.
dunno if i am explaining myself very well here but i know what i mean.
when i came on the scene as a single i only met single guys on a 1-2-1 basis, not the same one all the time, but if it was someone who clicked more than once, at this time the whole scene was very new to me in my naive little world i didnt even know it existed, its only as i have been around longer and moved on in my experiences and opportunities in the playing environment have i experimented with other things like clubs, parties, 3somes, groups etc.
i have confused myself now and have no idea if i have answered the question with my view, but i hope so.
Earthy xx
yes you did
Quote by Shireen
why did it matter who asked the question?
Why does that matter to you?
I would have asked the same thing as PK.... Does that mean I will get a rude retort as well?? :dunno:
Sorry Shireen - but I don't see how my question is rude (unless you want to read it as rude)
I think Bloke answered quite adequately for me
Quote by Shireen
PK asked a reasonable question.... At the time it wasn't obvious why it mattered who was asking the question
And I think it is reasonable for me to also ask why someone would want to know why I asked a question to someone else.
Now is this really a track we want to wander down in circles all night?
I wasn't going to bother posting on this one because it seems to have kicked off in barneys .. again, but I type like I talk.. none stop so here goes..
I don't think that looks spoil anyone.. a man can be good looking and know it and I don't like big heads, but a man can be very attractive without knowing it, I like people who have attractiveness without knowing their true beauty. - what I'm trying to say here is that beauty doesn't make any difference if you cannot open your mouth and hold a conversation with someone - personality! that's the clincher for me.
I tend to agree with Maz/Den that it doesn't make any difference whether it's swinging world or vanilla, a woman will probably have a better chance of meeting someone than a man will, that'll never change.
I don't think that looks spoil anyone.. a man can be good looking and know it and I don't like big heads, but a man can be very attractive without knowing it, I like people who have attractiveness without knowing their true beauty. - what I'm trying to say here is that beauty doesn't make any difference if you cannot open your mouth and hold a conversation with someone - personality! that's the clincher for me.
I tend to agree with Maz/Den that it doesn't make any difference whether it's swinging world or vanilla, a woman will probably have a better chance of meeting someone than a man will, that'll never change.
Quote by jaymar
I wasn't going to bother posting on this one because it seems to have kicked off in barneys .. again, but I type like I talk.. none stop so here goes..
I don't think that looks spoil anyone.. a man can be good looking and know it and I don't like big heads, but a man can be very attractive without knowing it, I like people who have attractiveness without knowing their true beauty. - what I'm trying to say here is that beauty doesn't make any difference if you cannot open your mouth and hold a conversation with someone - personality! that's the clincher for me.
I tend to agree with Maz/Den that it doesn't make any difference whether it's swinging world or vanilla, a woman will probably have a better chance of meeting someone than a man will, that'll never change.
Bingo - the most attractive thing about our regular fuck buddy is that he doesn't realise just how damn sexy he is :lol: Totally agree :thumbup:
Casanova
Not sure ive read this right but here we go .....
I have come across what the media ect consider handsome men/women that are arses in both swinging and non swinging situations,and also come across handsome men/women in both that are very down to earth not up their own arse people. Ive also come across un-attractive peeps that are up their own arses Maybe its to do with how they were bought up.....put on a pedestal ect = up ur own arse??
When i started swinging i was a single and i wasnt looking for and didnt want a traditional relationship. I had just emerged from a 15yr maraige and was and wanted to enjoy my freedom I wanted nsa sex with like minded people and wanted to push my sexual boundarys. Yes i could have gone to the local disco cattle market and picked up a quick shag but it wouldnt have been on the same level as in swinging, and runs the risk of it getting complicated with the other person wanting a b/f g/f relationship.
At first i only met guys on a 1 2 1 basis as this was more familular and comfortable to me.I wasnt looking to shag half the site but find a select number of males that i could meet ongoing build up friendship and trust with to try new things. I wouldnt have been relaxed or comfortable trying something new with somebody i had only just met.
For me swinging was the right choice and honest thing for me to do,as all my cards were laid up front and you know where you stand and how things are.
Nicky
I have come across what the media ect consider handsome men/women that are arses in both swinging and non swinging situations,and also come across handsome men/women in both that are very down to earth not up their own arse people. Ive also come across un-attractive peeps that are up their own arses
Maybe its to do with how they were bought up.....put on a pedestal ect = up ur own arse??When i started swinging i was a single and i wasnt looking for and didnt want a traditional relationship. I had just emerged from a 15yr maraige and was and wanted to enjoy my freedom
I wanted nsa sex with like minded people and wanted to push my sexual boundarys. Yes i could have gone to the local disco cattle market and picked up a quick shag but it wouldnt have been on the same level as in swinging, and runs the risk of it getting complicated with the other person wanting a b/f g/f relationship.At first i only met guys on a 1 2 1 basis as this was more familular and comfortable to me.I wasnt looking to shag half the site but find a select number of males that i could meet ongoing build up friendship and trust with to try new things. I wouldnt have been relaxed or comfortable trying something new with somebody i had only just met.
For me swinging was the right choice and honest thing for me to do,as all my cards were laid up front and you know where you stand and how things are.
Nicky
Interesting musings PL..
In general I have to say that I probably wouldn't make initial contact with (what society deems) a stunningly handsome man for a few reasons:
1) I wouldn't have the confidence.
2) I would be wary of their attitude/personality. A lot of handsome men know they are handsome and arrogance isn't endearing.
If I get chatted up by someone I consider out of my league I am dubious about their motives-I am not expecting marriage but I want to at least feel fancied! ;)
However, a man doesn't need to be conventionally gorgeous for me to fancy him-personality and a GSOH are more important to me than looks ( I know it's a cliche but it's true-if a man can't make me laugh he's got no hopes). This applies both if I am arranging a meet through here or out on the pull with my mates ;)
I have to agree with Maz and Den-I find I have no trouble "pulling" if I am out with my mates, whereas my single male friends are not often so lucky. Does this mean women have the upper hand in both societies ?
In general I have to say that I probably wouldn't make initial contact with (what society deems) a stunningly handsome man for a few reasons:
1) I wouldn't have the confidence.
2) I would be wary of their attitude/personality. A lot of handsome men know they are handsome and arrogance isn't endearing.
If I get chatted up by someone I consider out of my league I am dubious about their motives-I am not expecting marriage but I want to at least feel fancied! ;)
However, a man doesn't need to be conventionally gorgeous for me to fancy him-personality and a GSOH are more important to me than looks ( I know it's a cliche but it's true-if a man can't make me laugh he's got no hopes). This applies both if I am arranging a meet through here or out on the pull with my mates ;)
I have to agree with Maz and Den-I find I have no trouble "pulling" if I am out with my mates, whereas my single male friends are not often so lucky. Does this mean women have the upper hand in both societies ?
Casanova
Does this mean women have the upper hand in both societies ?
I think when it comes down to the act of sex YES women do have the upper hand in both societies.
As in either there are far more single men that want nsa sex than women imho anyway.
Your not alone with this either,:
In general I have to say that I probably wouldn't make initial contact with (what society deems) a stunningly handsome man for a few reasons:
1) I wouldn't have the confidence.
2) I would be wary of their attitude/personality. A lot of handsome men know they are handsome and arrogance isn't endearing.
If I get chatted up by someone I consider out of my league I am dubious about their motives-I am not expecting marriage but I want to at least feel fancied!
:rose: earthy
Nicky
I think when it comes down to the act of sex YES women do have the upper hand in both societies.
As in either there are far more single men that want nsa sex than women imho anyway.
Your not alone with this either,:
In general I have to say that I probably wouldn't make initial contact with (what society deems) a stunningly handsome man for a few reasons:
1) I wouldn't have the confidence.
2) I would be wary of their attitude/personality. A lot of handsome men know they are handsome and arrogance isn't endearing.
If I get chatted up by someone I consider out of my league I am dubious about their motives-I am not expecting marriage but I want to at least feel fancied!
:rose: earthy
Nicky
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
why did it matter who asked the question?
Why does that matter to you?
quite simply because it seemed strange to me that it would make a difference to your answer....... :dunno:
