Do we take posts too seriously sometimes?

Quote by Hungrypussy69
Nobody has the right to attack somebody for that opinion or put them down for it.

Quote by Dawnie
Just recently we have seen people called 'fools', 'idiots' and worse just because an opinion differs.

Quote by Ukwineman
not enough hijacks to lighten the mood

Quote by essex34m
not enough hijacks to lighten the mood

Quote by Mr-Powers
hell better freeze over first!!

Quote by Darkfire

Just recently we have seen people called 'fools', 'idiots' and worse just because an opinion differs.

Quote by Darkfire

Just recently we have seen people called 'fools', 'idiots' and worse just because an opinion differs.

Quote by swing_fun_cpl

Please note these are my comments (Russell) and not Nicky's - and though I have a feeling she would agree with most of them I wouldn't want to speak for her.
I have been reading the forums on and off for nearly a year now, but much more over the past couple of weeks. And the one thing that has most surprised, disappointed and pained me is just how personally we can sometimes take some of the posts, especially on topics that we (i.e. us forum users) feel strongly about. Now I have absolutely no problem with anyone expressing their opinions on a forum topic on a post - we live in a free-speech-loving country after all and I wouldn't have it any other way. But the thing that gets me is how easy it is to get riled up when someone says something we disagree with, and how quickly it can get personal and turn into people getting defensive, and then hitting back by attacking each other. Surely this is an ultimately negative thing to do and only results in bad feeling for both those we oppose and those who oppose us. (And also lays us open to cries of "Clique! Clique!")

There is a long winded, but very good answer to this at the beginning of the Steam Room Thread. :? :?

Tips for Resolving Conflict Online
What can be done to prevent unnecessary conflict in cyberspace? The following are tips for handling conflict online with respect, sensitivity, and care:
Don't respond right away
When you feel hurt or angry about an email or post, it's best not to respond right away. You may want to write a response immediately, to get it off your chest, but don't hit send! Suler recommends waiting 24 hours before responding - sleep on it and then reread and rewrite your response the next day.
Read the post again later
Sometimes, your first reaction to a post is a lot about how you're feeling at the time. Reading it later, and sometimes a few times, can bring a new perspective. You might even experiment by reading it with different tones (matter-of-fact, gentle, non-critical) to see if it could have been written with a different tone in mind than the one you initially heard.
Discuss the situation with someone who knows you
Ask them what they think about the post and the response you plan to send. Having input from others who are hopefully more objective can help you to step back from the situation and look at it differently. Suler recommends getting out of the medium in which the conflict occurred - in this case talking to someone in person - to gain a better perspective.
Choose whether or not you want to respond
You do have a choice, and you don't have to respond. You may be too upset to respond in the way that you would like, or it may not be worthy of a response. If the post is accusatory or inflammatory and the person's style tends to be aggressive or bullying, the best strategy is to ignore them.
Assume that people mean well, unless they have a history or pattern of aggression
Everyone has their bad days, gets triggered, reacts insensitively, and writes an email without thinking it through completely. It doesn't mean that they don't have good intentions.
On the other hand, some people pick fights no matter how kind and patient you are with them. They distort what you say, quote you out of context, and make all sorts of accusations all to vilify and antagonize you. Don't take the "bait" by engaging in a struggle with them - they'll never stop. Sometimes, the best strategy is to have nothing more to do with someone.
Clarify what was meant
We all misinterpret what we hear and read, particularly when we feel hurt or upset. It's a good idea to check out that you understood them correctly. For example, you could ask, When you said...did you mean...or, what did you mean by...? Or, when you said...I heard...is that what you meant? Often times, what we think someone said is not even close to what they meant to say. Give them the benefit of the doubt and the chance to be clear about what they meant.
Think about what you want to accomplish by your communication
Are you trying to connect with this person? Are you trying to understand them and be understood? What is the message you hope to convey? What is the tone you want to communicate? Consider how you can convey that.
Verbalize what you want to accomplish
Here are some examples,I want to understand what you're saying.I feel hurt by some stuff that you said. I want to talk about it in a way that we both feel heard and understood.I want to find a way to work this out. I know we don't agree about everything and that's okay. I'd like to talk with you about how I felt reading your post.I hope we can talk this through because I really like you. I don't want to be argumentative or blaming.
Use "I" statements when sharing your feelings or thoughts
For example, I feel... versus You made me feel...
Use strictly feeling statements
Feeling statements include saying you felt hurt, sad, scared, angry, happy, guilty, remorseful, etc. In everyday conversations, we describe our feelings differently than this. For example, we say that we felt "attacked", "threatened", "unsafe", or "punched in the stomach". When the person we’re upset with is not present, or able to read our words, this is an understandable way to express the full depth of our feelings and experience. Generally though, these statements are not simply feeling statements because they contain within them unexpressed beliefs. For example, you believe that you were attacked by the person, not that it just felt that way. If you want to communicate with the person involved (or they can read your words), it is best to stick to simple feeling statements otherwise they will hear you as accusing them of attacking them and be angry or upset with you. Some people get confused why other people get upset with them when they think they are only expressing their feelings; usually in these cases there were unstated beliefs expressed which the person reacted to.
Choose your words carefully and thoughtfully, particularly when you're upset
Do your best to keep in mind that the person will read your post alone. You are not physically or virtually present with them to clarify what you meant, and they can't see the kindness in your eyes. They must rely entirely on your words to interpret your meaning, intent, and tone. This is why it's important to choose your words carefully and thoughtfully. You can still be real and honest while being selective.
Place yourself in the other person's shoes
How might they hear your message? To avoid unnecessary conflict or a lot of hurt feelings, it helps to take into account who you're writing to. One person might be able to hear you say it exactly how you think it, and another person would be threatened by that style of communication. Think about the other person when writing your email or post. Do your best to communicate in a way that is respectful, sensitive, and clear to them. People often say, to do that feels like they're being controlled and why shouldn't they just write it the way they want to. Of course you can write it any way you want, especially online, but if you want to communicate with this person and have them hear and understand what you're saying, it helps to think about how they will hear it.
Use emoticons to express your tone
In online communication, visual and auditory cues are replaced by emoticons, for example, smiles, winks, and laughter. It helps to use emoticons to convey your tone. Additionally, if you like the person, tell them! Having a conflict or misunderstanding doesn't mean you don't like the person any more, but people often forget that reality, or don't think to say it. It may be most needed during a tense interaction.
Start and end your post with positive, affirming, and validating statements
Say what you agree with, what you understand about how they feel, and any other positive statements at the beginning of your email. This helps set a positive tone. End on a positive note as well.
The Paradox of Online Communication
Handling conflict constructively is hard at the best times, and it can be even harder online. It can take a great deal of effort, care, and thoughtfulness to address differences, tensions, and conflicts online. Paradoxically, some of the same things that contribute to heightened conflict online can contribute to peaceful resolutions as well. The internet is an ideal place to practice communication and conflict resolution skills. Just as the absence of visual and auditory cues, the anonymity, invisibility, delayed reactions, and neutralizing of status free us to say what ever negative thing we want, they can also free us to try new, and more positive communication styles and to take all the time we need to do that. As with any new technology, the internet can be used to enhance our personal growth and relationships, or to alienate us from each other. It's our choice.

Quote by louise_and_joe
I myself have been very guilty of this behaviour today :shock: I have surprised myself. I took a few hours out to reflect on this and have come to the conclusion that even though I may have personal issues with another member I shall no longer bring it into the forum.
I have never disagreed that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I embrace this. I let my emotions run wild and spoiled a perfectly good informative thread ( which was for my benefit ).
We live and learn I suppose.
louise xx

Quote by Kiss
Sometimes it isn't easy at all to leave it and say nothing.
Anyone that's been here a year or longer can remember some of the absolutely shameful hum-dingers I had in the forum. ops: :oops:
Now 95% of the time I do log off and forget about it, but I had to learn the hard way.

Quote by keeno
So here we are all struggling to make ourselves understood

Quote by keeno
Sometimes it isn't easy at all to leave it and say nothing.
Anyone that's been here a year or longer can remember some of the absolutely shameful hum-dingers I had in the forum. ops: :oops:
Now 95% of the time I do log off and forget about it, but I had to learn the hard way.

Quote by Kiss
Sometimes it isn't easy at all to leave it and say nothing.