I just wondered what people's general attitude was to the bigger boned folks being into the swinging scene?? Although me and the missus, both bbw, are very new to this, it appears that it does not seem to be the big issue that we thought it might be. Fair enough bbw are not to everyone's taste but from some of the conversations I've had in chat and the general attitude of the more established forum members etc I (me being the bigger of us, ssbbw to be precide I have recently foiund out ) feel more and more comfortable and happy that we could well have a place in the swinging scene. If this isn't a fair assessment of the situation please feel free to correct me, but the swinging scene seems to be a good place for bigger people to exist as sexual beings as there is a lot more honesty about what people want. Profiles and ads will state expressly whether or not bbw are welcome if that is an issue for the advertiser and that sort of profile is a welcome read so that we know where we stand and whether or not it is worth answering an ad etc.. The one thing that always deterred us in the past from looking into the swinging scene was the thought that we were too big to be attractive to anyone other than each other so we would be wasting our time. The thing that shocked us most, discounting obviously the idiot comments that you get fat or thin, black or white, straight or gay, is the number of bbw's on the site. We just have to get round to meeting some of them now :twisted: ! The other part of this is how the larger male is affected by the attitudes towards them, does not having the body of an athena (male) model affect confidence and meet success rate??
I think it totally hinges on the person either person within makes the person without attractive or not whatever their comes a point where it can become a health issue of course but otherwise to me a woman is a woman size 8 or 18.
being of larger proportions myself, I find this an interesting thread. Ive allready mentioned in another thread that I have had some good meets from here and some are repeat meetings. I state in my profile that Im big and allways ensure that people have read it , that way there is no missunderstanding when we meet. I think and hope that my personality is more important to most people (as well as a cheeky smile). I also understand that some people will be put off by size issues, but thats life. I must point out as well that my meets have not just been with other larger people , one couple I have met with three times are very slim, so after three times it must be ok for them..
do you know what... i asked this very same question in a thread 18 months ago..... i have spent this last 20 minutes trying to find it as well.... http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/28547.html granted, everyone is going to have there own preferences, but it certainly did open my eyes and to be honest i don't think i have looked back since....... i hope that you get out of this thread as much as i got out of mine (except for the hijack in the middle... ) Sean xxxxxxxx
I think it's one of those personal taste issues. Some men like their ladies slim, some prefer larger ladies. Some like them short, some tall. Same for ladies preferences to men. It's a well known fact that men prefer the more ample figure as the ladies in question tend to have more confidence and are comfortable with their own sexuality and attractiveness. A recent poll showed that ladies like 'Big Butt' Beyonce, Charlotte Church, Colleen Whatsherface et al came out with lots more votes than stick insects such as Victoria 'I need another lettuce leaf' Beckham and Keira Knightley. Look around the chat rooms and count up the bbw rooms then try to do the same for SkinnyGirlsRUs
I wouldn't go so far as to say that the swinging scene is a good place for any particular physical shape to be. It is what is in the eyes and the large organ just behind them that counts. And I don't think you can generalise meaningfully about taste - 'cos it's all subjective innit.
I'm a big girl myself and have had lots of meets and have never found my size to be a problem, which i must admit amazed me. What i have found is that on this scene most people accept you for what and who you are, obviously i will not be everybodys taste but then wouldnt life be boring if we all liked the same, my size is in my profile and i too make sure people have read it to avoid embarrassment. Then again i used to have a 'type' that i would go for, i still go for that type but now i dont restrict to that, its as simple as if i like someone and get on with them then i would play with them irrespective of size etc. Earthy xx
Quote by niceandgentle There comes a point where it can become a health issue of course but otherwise to me a woman is a woman size 8 or 18.
:thumbup: The same goes for men. However, talking from personal experience it is very difficult to know when you have reached the point of being too fat, when you have crossed the line of healthily plump to dangerously fat. The doctors have terms according to people's BMI but that says nothing really because you usually feel good until it is far too late. I have always been a bit wary of men who claim 'the larger, the better'. It seems to me like a very selfish attitude. I hope the above is making some sense. Might try to explain it better later on as my brain's a bit fuzzy right now.
A passing thought, don't shout at me. Our society is very prescriptive of what should and shouldn't be found to be attractive, we are bombarded with images of the 'body beautiful' on a daily basis - be it in printed or broadcast form. Here there is a certain amount of annonimity, a protective barrier so to speak, which in some ways allows people the freedom to express themselves as they truely are with none of the stigma that they might recieve in the RW. Is it maybe that people in general prefer the fuller figure but somehow feel they have to conform to what they should find attractive in the RW but here can fullfill their real desires? H.x
Quote by H-x Is it maybe that people in general prefer the fuller figure but somehow feel they have to conform to what they should find attractive in the RW but here can fullfill their real desires? H.x
Or perhaps another way of looking at it is that people dont want to nail their colours to a particular mast for fear of not getting a shag
Quote by Sassy-Seren I think it's one of those personal taste issues. Some men like their ladies slim, some prefer larger ladies. Some like them short, some tall. Same for ladies preferences to men. It's a well known fact that men prefer the more ample figure as the ladies in question tend to have more confidence and are comfortable with their own sexuality and attractiveness. A recent poll showed that ladies like 'Big Butt' Beyonce, Charlotte Church, Colleen Whatsherface et al came out with lots more votes than stick insects such as Victoria 'I need another lettuce leaf' Beckham and Keira Knightley. Look around the chat rooms and count up the bbw rooms then try to do the same for SkinnyGirlsRUs
I agree with Sassy that it is a personal taste thing, different men like women of all different shapes and sizes, you can't help being initially drawn to a certain type. That's where it ends tho - once you're initially drawn to that certain type, you gotta click and get the sparks flying, and the flying sparks doesn't always happen with people you're initially drawn to How shocked was I when, normally drawn to the bigger guy, I felt the sparks, the electrics, the fireworks and allsorts .......... when meeting a jockey!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :confused: I don't believe that the more ample woman has more confidence, or that men are more attracted to them. There are slim women that are utterly stunning, totally gorgeous, completely comfortable with their bodies, and have the personality to match!!! There are also larger women that, although gorgeous looking, have a huge chip on their shoulder and have a personality that stinks!! I have a problem with calling people "skinnies" in an almost insulting way. It's trying to create a complex, and as bad as calling people "fatties" in the same context. If a skinny person came into this thread and started on about 'fatties', then there would be hell to pay, more than likely resulting in a ban ....... after all, it ain't PC to insult the larger frame, the smaller frame, it seems to be a free for all :? To me, this scene is all about attitude, that's why I'm so comfortable in it. I'm a larger woman, one that was extremely nervous about entering the swinging scene (believe me thats an understatement and a half, took me about 4 years of curiosity, followed by joining SH, followed by finally dipping me toe in :? ). One of the best things I've done I reckon, on the self confidence front. I've had an absolute blast, and I've met some of the most wonderful people ............. of all shapes, sizes, heights, colours :happy:
I actually like a bigger woman than a skinny woman, always have done, I just don't find really skinny girls all that attractive. Don't get me wrong, they are good looking and can be really attractive, but given the choice, the bigger woman gets my vote!
On a scale of 1 - 10, where 1 is Anorexic and 10 is grossly obese, my personal prefference is probably in the 6 -8 range. Having said that, what really makes a person sexy and attractive to me is a mixture of personality and presentation.
From a personal point of view. Attraction is more than just size. People talk about it for sure but if a woman is attractive she's attractive. Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't Marilyn Munroe a size 16??? and shes sex on legs. Attraction is more than skin deep, its in the eyes, the smile everything. Confidense is perhaps the biggest thing. If you are happy with the way you look then I think this is projected and it is the image other people have of you.
Quote by TheOnlyMinx I used to only meet guys who filled doorways, and as I said to hubby last night, if he hadn't looked that way back then I wouldn't have met him. However I do appear to have relaxed a bit on that score now as I'm happier with myself. Old theory being that there was no point making yourself feel like a beached whale next to someone!
i'm one of the ones who on face value/ instant attraction will go for the man mountain everytime :twisted: , but I dont see it as anything to do with avoiding looking like a beached whale if with a smaller guy, i just like big blokes, always have I also dont see it as being anything to do with not being happy with myself :dunno: I love big thighs and V shaped backs and love handles...ooo shhhh :giggle: ... but like i say, thats just surface attraction, the rest of the package has to be there, but it is what'll get my attention initially in a crowded room. Its a preference I guess, but does not exclude allothers..... there just isnt any sexual attraction for me (yet) to very slim/ small built blokes (and women, as it happens) , just as physically I may not be someone's cup of tea either :dunno:
I adamantly don't "do" small men though...better not shout my theories about that but suffice it to say I think men are very much like dogs, and I don't like jack russells.
I dont know why, but that just cracked me up :rotflmao:
My personal preference for guys tends to err on the slimmer side these days but then again my ex was 18 stone, 6' 2 and dead sexy. To me,it's the initial attraction. That said, if he's got no personality or there's nothing there to ring my bell then the attraction wanes a bit no matter what size he is. I also tend to be attracted more to taller guys than shorter ones, no idea why but I just prefer them taller
probably won't make too many friends with this one! people are a "package" that has the physical, the mental ................ and a little imagination too! can be great shape yet completely lacking in the personality stakes, or the other way round (was going to write something else, but figured i might like a few friends left!) ............ that said i've met many ladies and couples without any idea what they look like (other than their description after going through the three stages - internet, text, talk - because we got on in many areas - as long as you are broadly honest about your looks (hey, we all stretch the truth a tad!!), the chances of disappointment are slim ................ and you can all concentrate on the more satisfying aspects of life! Focussing on the "whole" is better than just one bit ......................... ask any lady after a night of fun! Hope you are all having a tantric thursday!
Personally i think body size does matter to most people, being of a larger build myself i used the bbw chat room a lot and have found that most guys go in there cause they think its a easy shag room, cause somehow bigger women are desparate and will agree to meet easier, personally i think very few of them actually like bigger ladies its just a case of 'any holes a goal' i have come to the dessision for two reasons: Firstly cause of the way the gusy attention turn when a slim woman goes in the bbw room and goes on cam, i have seen such comments as 'its about time we see a decent body in here' and 'wow lovely u really put the other women to shame' and these are from guys who go in the bbw room at least semi regular and claim to like bigger women when they after a shag!! And secondly cause of the abuse you get if you do dare actually turn a guy down in there, i have had guys say thing like 'what your turning me down who the hell do you think you are?!!' and well your just a fat cow anyway i can do muc better than you' and i get such comments on a regular basis. But i do find comfort in knowing that even tho i may be fat and ugly i wouldn't shag someone a didn't find attractive just for the sake of having a shag so make you wonder who the real desparate ones are
Quote by naughtynymphos1 Personally i think body size does matter to most people, being of a larger build myself i used the bbw chat room a lot and have found that most guys go in there cause they think its a easy shag room, cause somehow bigger women are desparate and will agree to meet easier, personally i think very few of them actually like bigger ladies its just a case of 'any holes a goal' i have come to the dessision for two reasons: Firstly cause of the way the gusy attention turn when a slim woman goes in the bbw room and goes on cam, i have seen such comments as 'its about time we see a decent body in here' and 'wow lovely u really put the other women to shame' and these are from guys who go in the bbw room at least semi regular and claim to like bigger women when they after a shag!! And secondly cause of the abuse you get if you do dare actually turn a guy down in there, i have had guys say thing like 'what your turning me down who the hell do you think you are?!!' and well your just a fat cow anyway i can do muc better than you' and i get such comments on a regular basis. But i do find comfort in knowing that even tho i may be fat and ugly i wouldn't shag someone a didn't find attractive just for the sake of having a shag so make you wonder who the real desparate ones are
NN i feckin luv you I do tell it like it is Gal :thumbup:
Quote by TheOnlyMinx Back to beachwhale comment just to clear it up - I want a guy who can throw me on bed and show me who is boss, not one that might break if you play too hard and who can't cover your nipple with his hand let alone whole boob. Just nice to feel that protection/feminitity thing going on I think. x
Quote by Bloke2005 I want a guy who can throw me on bed and show me who is boss, not one that might break if you play too hardx
Agreed :thumbup: We don't go for guys that look like they need a good feed - even a nice tum is better than a ribcage in the small of your back anyday Harry will be happy......
Quote by essex34m I want a guy who can throw me on bed and show me who is boss, not one that might break if you play too hardx
Agreed :thumbup: We don't go for guys that look like they need a good feed - even a nice tum is better than a ribcage in the small of your back anyday Harry will be happy...... :rascal:
Quote by Darkfire Personally i think body size does matter to most people, being of a larger build myself i used the bbw chat room a lot and have found that most guys go in there cause they think its a easy shag room, cause somehow bigger women are desparate and will agree to meet easier, personally i think very few of them actually like bigger ladies its just a case of 'any holes a goal' i have come to the dessision for two reasons: Firstly cause of the way the gusy attention turn when a slim woman goes in the bbw room and goes on cam, i have seen such comments as 'its about time we see a decent body in here' and 'wow lovely u really put the other women to shame' and these are from guys who go in the bbw room at least semi regular and claim to like bigger women when they after a shag!! And secondly cause of the abuse you get if you do dare actually turn a guy down in there, i have had guys say thing like 'what your turning me down who the hell do you think you are?!!' and well your just a fat cow anyway i can do muc better than you' and i get such comments on a regular basis. But i do find comfort in knowing that even tho i may be fat and ugly i wouldn't shag someone a didn't find attractive just for the sake of having a shag so make you wonder who the real desparate ones are
NN i feckin luv you I do tell it like it is Gal :thumbup: this is sooo true and the reason ive stopped goin in the bbw rooms of late! im sick of being told "well i didnt fancy you anyway" or that i dont have the right to my own preferences!
It has to be personal preference at the end of the day, ive swung with sizes 6 to 20+ and all in between (or does that mean im not fussy ) there is definately someone on this site for all.
I have really enjoyed reading the well worded, honest and amusing replies to this thread, I apologise for not finding the previous thread but it was ungodly-o'clock and I just wanted to get my thoughts off my chest . I sometimes feel that I trade socially and romantically on the back of my personality alone, but then that isn't necessarily a problem cos if I haven't got the looks/figure to start with a partner can't be disappointed cos they can't start to fade if they're not there in the first place Certainly when I am attracted to someone its usually someone who makes me laugh till I cry or can hold a conversation till the early hours of the morning irrespective of whether they are a size 10, 20 or 30. With regards to the swinging scene I don't know how or if that would change. I know that the people I have met in the BBW chat room have generally met other BBW couples that frequent the room or advertise, and there doesn't seem to be a lot of them meeting non-BBW couples for some reason. Maybe its a confidence issue, an attraction issue or something else??? Anyway, thats enough of my drivel for now on the topic methinks, I'm off to contemplate the sheer horror of a Lorraine Kelly appreciation society, mind you, if there was a Fearne Britton one......... :grin:
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) feel more and more comfortable and happy that we could well have a place in the swinging scene. 
How shocked was I when, normally drawn to the bigger guy, I felt the sparks, the electrics, the fireworks and allsorts .......... when meeting a jockey!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :confused:
:rotflmao:
tell it like it is Gal :thumbup:
hwoar: :rascal:
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