Going on from a thread about love at first site. I have felt judging by myself a couple of friends and family members that meeting your partner before the age of 18 can have a lasting effect on a relationship as I know of 6 couples that meet around the ages of 13-18 and are still going strong even with the ups and downs that come with relationships. It seems you are able to get through obstacles put in your paths, as you grow and learn together. The couples I know have been together from a range of 25-50 years. I am not saying this is always the case as I feel the first 10 years are the hardest of trying times. I just think meeting at sure an early age it seems easier to withstand longevity. But then again I could be talking a load of rubbish again. What are you views?
I'm not ashamed to admit I met Mrs Res at 18, she was 19 and we were both our "firsts" in pretty much every respect (yes even THAT one). We've been together now coming up 19 years and not once have we even been close to anything serious. We rarely, if ever, argue (though we may heatedly debate points at times which to the untrained eye can appear like an argument... Especially when Mrs Res gets the meat cleaver out..) and we are still sickeningly soppy with each other. It's a good question Minx. Maybe there is something about sharing some of the major focal points of your life together, growing up, first jobs, car, home, kids that strengthens the bonds? I am not sure to be honest all i know is that I think when you meet the person that is right for you, age doesn't come into it really.
Quote by Cherrytree Yes I think there is something in this Minxy. I'm not sure of the reason, though.
Cherry I can only go on my experiences and that of friends, families’ views, because it does fascinate me, I think part is that you have nothing to compare it too, no previous in cases long term relationships, (I don’t know if that is a good thing or not.) so in a way know no better. As you grow up together you grow together learn how to deal with things together.. I don’t really know but hubby and I have spoken about it loads and feel blessed that we met at such an early age. Both our parents are still together too, although his parents met in their early 20’s are still together 60 years on. My parents are into their 50+ years, but first met in childhood we have a long way to go to catch them up. All I know is that after all these years I have learnt that true love never always runs smoothly, but it is very smooth now compared to the first 10 years.
Quote by Theladyisaminx I am not saying this is always the case as I feel the first 10 years are the hardest of trying times.
LOL We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary yesterday ;) We met in our mid twenties. There's an age gap of 18 years between my parents, Mum was 18 Dad was 36, they've been together almost 37 years. Dunno if that proves the theory or not as it fits my mum but not my Dad.
Quote by Resonance I'm not ashamed to admit I met Mrs Res at 18, she was 19 and we were both our "firsts" in pretty much every respect (yes even THAT one). We've been together now coming up 19 years and not once have we even been close to anything serious. We rarely, if ever, argue (though we may heatedly debate points at times which to the untrained eye can appear like an argument... Especially when Mrs Res gets the meat cleaver out..) and we are still sickeningly soppy with each other. It's a good question Minx. Maybe there is something about sharing some of the major focal points of your life together, growing up, first jobs, car, home, kids that strengthens the bonds? I am not sure to be honest all i know is that I think when you meet the person that is right for you, age doesn't come into it really.
I wouldn't love him if he wasn't my sparing partner too, as I say to my children to have parents that have heated debates is healthy, as it shows each are intitled to hold opinion, even though they clash. I don't think I am the easiest to live with!
Quote by noladreams30 Surely if you meet at a young age you have an unfair advantage when it comes to longevity of relationships?
Certainly chronologically that is the case, but I wonder how many "relationships" at age 18 or 19 fizzle out, rather than ending in a lifelong commitment? I'd probably guess at a lot more than for older people who are perhaps looking to settled down, but I could not be sure on that one jot. I'd guess it is entirely a personal thing and differs for everyone. There is always the counter argument as well that the longer you are together, the more time there is for things to go wrong! (What a cheery thought for a Saturday eh?!)
We met when we were 16 or so but didn't stay together back then. We both married other people and are now single again, and back together. So in one way we have to say no, it doesn’t always mean that you will have more chance of staying together. On the other hand we are closer together than we ever were with our other partners. Maybe meeting at an early age has helped us rebuild our relationship. Ste
Quote by Resonance I'm not ashamed to admit I met Mrs Res at 18, she was 19 and we were both our "firsts" in pretty much every respect (yes even THAT one). We've been together now coming up 19 years and not once have we even been close to anything serious. We rarely, if ever, argue (though we may heatedly debate points at times which to the untrained eye can appear like an argument... Especially when Mrs Res gets the meat cleaver out..) and we are still sickeningly soppy with each other. It's a good question Minx. Maybe there is something about sharing some of the major focal points of your life together, growing up, first jobs, car, home, kids that strengthens the bonds? I am not sure to be honest all i know is that I think when you meet the person that is right for you, age doesn't come into it really.
Are you MrG in disguise? :shock: Seriously, I like the way you put your point. We met when we were 18 and 19 (he is slightly younger). I was single but had had a number of boyfriends and he was with his 2nd girlfriend but they were having issues. I knew he was worth waiting for although I'd never considered that about anyone else. I thought it was love at first sight (even though I'd known him at primary school years before) but now think it was more lust with depth I told him I'd wait and see if he managed to work things out with her but a few days later he rang to ask me out. We moved in together 3 months later. We've been together 21 years this year and married for 19. We don't argue (unless he's given up smoking - which only managed for 10 hours both times) and we try to pull together over all the important issues in our lives. This is what I think has kept us together and mostly happy. :inlove: With regard to the age issue, my mother-in-law met her current hubby the week after I met her son. They are still together now but her first marriage was a war-zone that lasted less than 10 years. I think it is a case of longevity reflecting the commitment of the partners at the time in their lives when they meet. If you meet young and can survive everything life throws at you without your paths diverging, then you've cracked it. If you meet later in life but find you are 'soul-mates' then the relationship can last longer than any others you may have had. I also know a couple who have been married for over 25 years but both had been married twice before. How do you know that you didn't meet 'the one' at a time in your life when you weren't receptive to their advances? I don't believe in a Mr/Miss Right for each person and if you find one of your potential life partners when you're young, you are likely to be fortunate enough to be looking at a vast expanse of time to enjoy them. This can, of course, make people complacent and potentially make less of an effort to cooperate, leading to arguments and discord. If you meet them later in life, you may make more of an effort early on to make it work knowing that the number of years together might be curtailed by the law of averages. In short, I don't believe in love at first sight. Lust, yes, and many long-lasting relationships begin this way. But how many times does 'love at first sight' barely make it out of the bedroom much less the wedding ceremony?
Quote by noladreams30 Surely if you meet at a young age you have an unfair advantage when it comes to longevity of relationships?
I would say perhaps yes as you both start with a clean slate almost, I would say there are disadvantages too. To overcome an obstacle you have no previous experiences to draw from, how do you know there is no better as you haven’t sampled others to make a more informed choice. There have been times within our relationship that a thought has popped into my head (is the grass greener on the other side) but then I felt better the devil you know. Luckily it has been a passing thought and one I never wanted to find out.
My parents met when they were young. In the cycling club. I'm not sure what age they were when they met, I'll ask them later. But they're both 68 now. They celebrate their 44th wedding anniversary this year. They do a lot together. They're off out today on their tandem as they do every Saturday and every Wednesday. 60 miles or thereabouts. Put me to shame they do. They're still as in love now as they were when they met. When I still lived at home I worked in the local pub. I could go out to work at 6pm and go home at midnight and they're still sat where I left them laughing and just being together. It's amazing. The only arguments in our house when we were growing up were over my brother or me. There's never been any sticky patches that they couldn't work out. They're a different generation though, they didn't get to where they are today without hard work. I'm sure it's not all been a bed of roses but they're prepared to put in what so many people aren't. I'm not sure what that is but these days it seems so easy to just give up when things get tough and walk away. I cannot imagine that ever happening and I don't even want to think about the time when one is there without the other. I'm single. I think I'll probably remain single because if I can't have what they've got then I'm not settling for less. I'm not sure that I want to believe that it only lasts if you meet when you're young Minxy... if I do that then I'll lose all hope of my one ever coming along and staying for good.
Quote by Dirtygirly I'm not sure that I want to believe that it only lasts if you meet when you're young Minxy... if I do that then I'll lose all hope of my one ever coming along and staying for good.
:thumbup: and sometimes all this sounds like - nah, not going there. I'll sound bitter and twisted. And being bitter gives you wrinkles.
we got together when i was 17 n mr b was 18 and we are just about to have our 20th wedding anniversary in april and i think one of the reasons we have stuck it out this long is the fact that too many people judged us on our age and said the good ole lines "it'll never last" and "give it a year at most" this made us more determined to work at it and prove them all wrong we have had ups and downs like everyone but when we hit the downs we pulled together to make it through and worked out any differences we had it made us stronger with each problem we worked through and as each anniversary passed it was like a fingers up to all those that doubted we would last just because of our age i love mr b more today that i did when we first married 20 years ago and i also love the fact that we will only be 68 and 69 when we celebrate out golden anniversary still plenty young enough to enjoy a new adventure
I really wish my Mrs had a twin sister and that i'd married them both polygamously I do I really do. Mind you then maybe the drawback would be the fact that if i'd had two gorgeous things and to have to share myself it would break me. As for the meeting up young and staying together thing? I've gone through people i know and i wouldn't think theres anything in what you say Minx although, There maybe a case for people being in and out of relationships a dew times because they learn that it is actually quite easy to split up and that life still goes on leading then into relationships that maybe are based on very fragile ideas of what life partners mean. Of course this would enevitably have the consequence of making it seem that those meeting young stay together longer more often - but that don't quite figure in the math to me. Hmmm reads as gobbledegook but I thunked it through and it seemed OK to me.
Yes I think there could be something in that comment Minxy! I met stormy when I was 5 and he was 8 I'm now 43 and he's well 109 apparently in his profile
hmmm yes and no. I met my ex when she was 17 and I 20. We were together for 18yrs and until right to the end we never had any real arguments. I beieve our problems were caused by lack or real in depth communication and by outside influence, the latter being a major part (grass greener syndrome). Now things have settled down we are still seperated and final divorce papers imminant, but maybe I wrong but I certainly still feel something there and I truely bielieve she does too. Not that I think anything will happen theres too much water under the bridge and I doubt very much she would ever go back on whats shes said, because of her friends. So after my ramblings although mine hase broken I do think your reasoning is fundamentaly sound.
I do feel that at least half of relationship breakdowns arise through a lack of communication. A lesson for us all not to get complacent and in the words of Stephen Hawking 'Keep talking'.
we met each other on a yts cource when we were 16 married 2 yrs later her dad didnt aprove said it would never last so he was banned from the wedding .had our ups and downs that all long relationships have but this will be our 24th yr of marriage this yr.
It was just before my 15th birthday (1987) when I started seeing Spike - it would be a nice fairy tale bit if I could say he was my 1st, but I was a very early starter so even though he was 17 I was much more experienced than him :shock: We've been together ever since and have a very strong, loving relationship that grows the longer we're together.............its not been easy at times, but I think that's maybe a key thing Going through some tough spells will either break or make a relationship - the younger you are when you meet, the more of life you have to face together, the stronger it can make your bond i'll shush now, can feel myself rambling lol
Miserable git time, I met my ex when I was 16 and she was 14, we were on and off till we got married when I was 25, we split when I was 35. And in all honesty I wish we had never survived the early on off relationship. She was suffocating in the extreme, slowy saw off all my friends and became a lazy person. Thats not to say we didnt have some good times and I would never want to be without my kids.
Met V when she was 20 and I was 22 and we got married a year later - 35 years ago! Of course we argue, but who doesn't. We are truly soul mates and stick together through thick and thin. G
i got engaged at 17 to the boy next door Broke up at 18. Lived the single life {having fun] Met ex hubby at 30 divorced at 40. Met Rich and found my soul mate {corny but true} I feel the more "mature" Ive got, the more assertive in knowing what I want out of a relationship. Some people find life partners early, some late. No rhyme or reason. dee
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