I was having this chat with the wife from a couple the other night the chat got to the question " so how comes you got in to swinging"
Her answer was quite a common one." Our relationship was getting boring"
I have heard that answer so many times from couples. and now I see so many young couples on this site these days that I feel "not all" BUT A LOT of people turn to swinging as it that or live a life they are not happy living in. and as they have kids,a mortgage and a leather three piece suite on finance,they just stick around and get the buzz from having fun with others.
Or have I got it completely wrong ???
swinging to us enhances what we have it shouldnt be used to prop up an already failing marriage, but to spice things up. if you cannt survive just being together then i cannt see it surviving just because of swinging in much the same way that having kids wont save a failing marriage.. only diff being no poor child to suffer a failing/failed marriage
Just as in medicine there is no magic bullet to cure a disease, so it goes for swinging. In that it won't fix anything that is fundamentally broken. It will provide a distraction, and entertainment etc.
Is this a question or a statement?
If your on here to save your marriage then I think its over unless both of you really do want to add a spark to re-kindle the flame?
We feel that if you have a strong relationship to start with and get into swinging for the right reasons and have openess and honesty between you it can very well make you relationship stronger.
However if you have a weak relationship to start with and/or you are not open and honest with each other it is more than likely going to end up destroying such a relationship sooner rather than later.
Personally we think looking to others to save a marriage is a really bad idea!
As has been already said, swinging is not a cure for cracks already present. Our swinging adventures were largely for my benefit. There was very little enthusiasm from madame. Her lack of interest regarding sex has been with us in all of our 32 yeras together. It's the only bone of contention that we have had since the Wedding Night.
It did give me the opportunity to meet and enjoy more sexually motivated women and have wonderful times. It really was a case of the grass on the other side being greener. Madame got very little out of it. What has been a lack-lustre marriage in terms of sex now continues with the last 4 years being spent trying to nurse her back from the effects of breast cancer and seemingly not succeeding. Seems that someone up there wants to continue to punish us. God alone knows why!
Smooth2
i would have thought swinging on the whole would put extra strain on to a marriage under stress already.....to us swinging is something we both share and its a lifestyle choice we make...although it isnt the be all and end all to our life ...just a pleasurable distraction from the boring hum drum things life throws at you..something we both embrace and anjoy as much as we can...but other things take priority more often than not ...so to sum up ...i think if our marriage was under pressure swinging would have destroyed us.....we're close and always have been and totally honest with each other....there can be no room for secrets or hidden agendas in a strong relationship...married or not!
I can't say it saved our marriage, we just started playing about whill I was on the road. Thinking about it can't say it was swinging back then, or now. Its more an open marriage.
Still it works for us, I think we would still be together without it, but who knows.
I do know if one of us were to be less liberal something would have to give. So if swinging works, it works. Hoora.
