when we (we being a general term for all of us) hold parties for our vanilla world..lets say an engagement or birthday party where there is a venue.. we pay for the venue, .. i think you would agree this is the done thing.(i dont think generally people pass glasses round or charge admissions do they?) yet when people hold similar parties for their swinging 'friends' quite often if its at a venue you would expect people to pay to get in and help cover the cost of the venue.. and so on ..
i wonder do we treat our vanilla pals better because they are our real pals than we do our swinging pals ..is this a poor indictment of the world we play in...or are there other reasons for this anomaly...
not saying there is anything wrong with how things work..this isnt a criticism ..its really just a thread about the difference between vanilla friends and swinging friends if there is one?
discuss
I read this op as to mean if you hold a party for vanilla friends (as in an engagement, anniversary etc) you would pay costs.
Are you asking if someone holds a swingers party that they charge to cover costs is this correct or are you asking if they hold an enagagment party for swinging friends they are asking for a donation towards costs?
I am a little confused.
i think the diff would b that with your vanilla friends you would b throwing a party as its your birthday for example so would be rude to say please come help me celebrate my party but you need to pay £5 for the priviledge whereas a swingers party like the munches arranged here there will b alsorts coming not just peeps you invite because you enjoy their company so why should you foot the bill out of your own pocket if you did and it was popular you could end up with big bills for parties every few months and people taking advantage of your good nature
the exception for me would be if you was inviting an exclusive group of swinging friends to a party at your home then i would be prepaired to foot the bill as it would again feel rude to invite them then ask for cash although would say bring a bottle but would say that to vanilla friends
the bashes i organise does not ask for a fee to be paid to me as i would find the finger pointing of some folk suggesting i would be on the make from it too much to bare they only require a fee paid on entry to the club we hold them at which has absolutly nothing to do with me so my hands are always clean on that front i do not profit from it i just enjoy organising them as they are a great night enjoyed by all, all the payment i need
Is the difference not a simple case of in the vanilla world a party you host and pay for is usually because you are inviting people to come and help you celebrate something, hence you pay fot them to join in your celebration. When hosting a swinging event, are you not more the facilitator - you are providing a service essentially where people can meet and socialise? The fee therefore is to cover the costs so you are not out of pocket.
there wont be an out come to this thread from us either as im not looking for answers to if folk should charge etc..the thread was prompted by yet another invite to a party to celebrate an event that had a fee attached to it..not on this site by the way.. but then im talking the whole swinging world not just sh, it prompted the conversation between rose and myself at the difference between vanilla dos and swinging dos.. no more than that..
very aware some folk wouldnt charge..we wouldnt.
'dear staggy and rose we would love you to come to our birthday party ..etc ... its 30 quid to get in' .... lol imagine getting that from a vanilla pal?
Just remembered...my daughter was invited to a 30th recently.
She said yes, and then was asked for a £50 contribution!
She then said no, snd got a load of abuse off his girlfriend for being tight!!!
Oh well!!
I would not invite anyone vanilla or swinging to an event to celebrate an occasion of mine, nor would I expect to pay fee’s to celebrate others occasions even if hire costs were involved.
I would expect others to pay and expect to pay myself if it was just an arranged social if there were hire fees involved.
The way we view this after talking about it before, is that when you are celebrating a birthday/engagement or any other celebration, it is what it says it is, its a celebration of some kind.
When we got married, and had the wedding reception in the evening we had vanilla and swinging "friends" there, and neither was charged an entrance fee.
This was because we were celebrating getting married and wanted this event to be celebrated with the people who we wanted to celebrate with.
If it was for a social, i can see why people would charge for such things, such as food costs, venue hire etc etc. Its normally an open invite to a certain degree, and is normally a get together or a social as it says on the tin, so is jus a way to meet new people.
We have also had get togethers, and parties at our house, and have never charged an entrance fee, and never would. We do ask people to bring there own drink if we are having a larger number of people around, but this is purely because every body has different drinking tastes and would be difficult to suit everyone.
So my over all view is, if it is a celebration of some kind, i would find it odd to a certain degree to be charged to get in, if it was a social/munch etc then i would expect a fee if it was a private function room etc etc. If it was a house party i guess it is each to there own, we ourselves wouldnt charge an entrance fee, but would understand to a certain degree why people may do so
Not sure if this is the type of view that you was looking for but it is our view lol
what i have noticed lately....is some people organise an event/social but it turns out that its more of a commercial venture in their own club rather than what use to be organised in the old days in vanilla places.
now that i really dont mind ..as long as its made clear that its not !"£$studs birthday bash etc or !"£$£2 and !"!"£""£ engagement party , the invites we have had of late have been just that in my opinion a commercial venture cloaked as a 'friends' party.. half these friends we have never heard of..
i organise one that is in a club mr p but never as a commercial venture firstly not my club (wish it was i would b minted instead etternally skint :shock: ) secondly i chose to do it at a club as i had a lot of bbw friends that wanted to try a club but were nervous of wether there would b made to feel uncomfortable because of their size so wanted to come with us so we could hold their hands
well after attending another social that was held there mr b and i got chatting about how fun it would be to do one for BBW's and thier admirers then all those that are nervous that they wouldn't be accepted because of their size could go along and check the place out in the comfort of knowing that all those there would be of similar shapes and sizes and the guys going are going because they are admirers of their wobblyness so everyone could relax and enjoy the night in everyway
it was only really ever meant as a one off but it was soooo popular i had everyone asking for another and again yet another one so now i'm organising a third BBW bash
there is no financial gain for us, yes the club gains but then the way i look at it is so do those going cause its a bloody good night
i think diference is if one arranges a wedding/ birthday or engagement party for vanilla friends its a ONE OFF EVENT where organiser pays for the party and maybe the guests bring a gift for the person / persons celebrating the event, whereas a social maybe more than a one off event and would become too expensive to continue without people contributing to the costs involved.
just received an e-mail from another site...we have been invited to a small private party(we don't even know him)...small catch,there is a entry fee...this is the kind of thing that gets my goat up!
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