.. depends on how interested in the D/s lifestyle you are...
a bit of role play, or something more serious?
There are some quite serious BDSM clubs around, although D/s isn't really about BDSM they are often interrelated.
Is it just a casual basis you're lucking at... lighthearted adult fun?
I've heard only good things about:
... however I'm not sure if she'll cater for a couple - she's very good about responding to queries though, so you only have to ask. She's based near Crawley/Gatwick. She's a lady my partner and I toyed with visiting, but in the end our first, and so far only, visit to a Pro Domme was in Newcastle... a long story and not for the faint hearted! ;)
If that doesn't work out then take a look at: for some excellent resources, including reviews, and Mistresses sorted by geographical location.
Good luck.. and consider writing up your experience.. please!
Mandy
Make sure you do your research, Rob.
BDSM is rife with people who don't really know what they are doing. Contact SM Pride for some free advice.
If your prepared to take a tip from me, the first thing you should do is visit a few Fetish clubs and get talking to folks. You're much more likely to meet the right person there and you can also witness your prospective Dom playing. It's not something easily put into words but you can see whether a person know what they are doing by seeing them in action. Sub-Dom relationships should always be founded on trust and respect and good communications that's not something that develops easily...
Best of luck
Hxx
don't confuse Dominance and submission with BDSM, they aren't the same thing.
Heather's right that there's a seriously large number of people playing games online without a clue about what they are doing. Depending on the level of 'play' you want to get into, I'd recommend attending a club. Talk to people there, there's a better cross section of folk Dom/me and sub alike.
Domme is the term for female Dominants.
A bit of bossing around and friendly play is great... have you considered finding a regular play partner where you could all get into role play (scening) together... rather than seeking out a ready made Domme? I'm sure it would be just as much fun finding a regular partner who would like to experiment in this area too. (Although you should seek proper advice on bondage play if you're going to attempt anything serious!)
I was remiss in not mentioning many of the things that others have, while getting carried away with the original question.
If you're new to BDSM then, before you approach a Pro Domme, you really need to find out a lot more. I recommend the website, for masses of resources.
Attending a club, or three, is also good, even if you don't want to join in the public play (although I found it impossible not to, the first time I went to one!). Better still go to pre-club munches to have a better chance to talk with people as it can be trickier at noisy clubs, but not impossible. SkinnyDippers on the coast has a fetish night once a month (there's a link on the "Clubs and Parties" page here) and although I've not made it to one of those yet, the other parties are all extremely well organised and they're a great bunch of people.
As Analog pointed out Dominance and submission aren't all there is to BDSM, Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and submission, and Sadism and Masochism... and to be honest all sort of other shades of grey.
If you do go to a Pro Domme, make sure you know exactly what your limits are, and watch out for each other, communicating loads before and after... there can be a lot of emotional fallout after any intense session, but I'd say particularly so after playing with someone you're paying, or maybe it's someone outside the usual relationship of two. Also, don't allow yourself to end up feeling used, in any way other than the way you want to be used - that's not nice.
And as Heather said, not everyone is what they seem on the BDSM scene and horror stories abound.. but at least you'd be there as a couple and that's a big help!
Good luck,
Mandy
