Hiyas everyone,
Being in the chatroom today several newbies wanted to know of the downside to swinging,
We think this would be a very informative posting for everyone to give their views.
Please could people give their views.
We think people have to be 110% ok with swinging and the reality of it making sure talking is done between peeps and partners.
The downside comes when 1 person might be more domineering over the other for what ever reason and it affects the relationship xx
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Downside
Sex God
The only downside for us is the expense of it all.
It is very expensive travelling to and from meets.
We have been in a situation with a couple that really weren't suited to swinging. The guy was so jealous of his partner even talking to other men. Obvious to others that they shouln't swing as it will kill the relationship that they have with each other.
G x
It is very expensive travelling to and from meets.
We have been in a situation with a couple that really weren't suited to swinging. The guy was so jealous of his partner even talking to other men. Obvious to others that they shouln't swing as it will kill the relationship that they have with each other.
G x
Sex God
One downside for me is that people may ask you to play sepparately from your partner.
If you go to a party/club with one's swinging partner people don't seem to take it seriously as a couple, even if you are really wanting to play together as a couple.
This can result in you getting split up at the party/venue as people tend to think of you as two singles together rather than one pair.... if that makes sense. So you can end up getting pulled in opposite directions. This can have knock on issues such as playing on insecurities or one partner having more fun than the other.... etc.
As long as you communicate with each other and talk things through there is no problem with things going wrong. Making sure you talk about it openly very soon after the event is so important as it clears the air and makes sure you learn the lesson of what went wrong so you can put it right next time.
If you go to a party/club with one's swinging partner people don't seem to take it seriously as a couple, even if you are really wanting to play together as a couple.
This can result in you getting split up at the party/venue as people tend to think of you as two singles together rather than one pair.... if that makes sense. So you can end up getting pulled in opposite directions. This can have knock on issues such as playing on insecurities or one partner having more fun than the other.... etc.
As long as you communicate with each other and talk things through there is no problem with things going wrong. Making sure you talk about it openly very soon after the event is so important as it clears the air and makes sure you learn the lesson of what went wrong so you can put it right next time.
Sex God
Our downside was always babytsitters (or lack of) 
The other downside we've faced is when you get on too well with someone.. I know this wouldn't be a problem for most but for us it was like going to bed with best friends. We like to get on with people, but not too well on the social front. (I know, we're weirdos!!!)
The other downside we've faced is when you get on too well with someone.. I know this wouldn't be a problem for most but for us it was like going to bed with best friends. We like to get on with people, but not too well on the social front. (I know, we're weirdos!!!) 
Sex God
Thank you Funin and Mike for putting in a quality thread on the Forum. This is the sort of thread where everyone can gain some help and information, especially newbies. 
When we started swinging, we had of course talked about it in depth before starting.
We have been together since we were in our teens and so had limited experience with other partners. In those days, Jon often suffered the green eyed monster if I was being looked at by other guys.
I felt this could be a potential problem and was unsure of how he would feel once we had actually got it together.
However, once we'd made the first steps, we talked about our feelings and although he said it felt strange seeing me with other guys, he didn't feel jealousy as such, although he said it did give him a twinge of something
All we can recommend is that people do what we did, which was talk, talk, talk about feelings. Whether they are good or bad, it's the only way forward. If you try to hide feelings, they will surface at some point and cause problems.
We have never been happier, have a fantastic sex life both with and without swinging partners, but at the end of the day, this would not be possible if we could not talk about feelings.
Downside for us is the constant costs of new sexy underwear. I've probably spent more in the last year than I had in the previous 10 years.
You know how it is girls - see something and just *have* to have it.
And don't even mention the cost of novelty intimate piercing jewellery
Having to purchase so many pieces to that no guy sees the same piece more than once can be heck of an expense
:roll:
Tracy-Jayne
When we started swinging, we had of course talked about it in depth before starting.
We have been together since we were in our teens and so had limited experience with other partners. In those days, Jon often suffered the green eyed monster if I was being looked at by other guys.
I felt this could be a potential problem and was unsure of how he would feel once we had actually got it together.
However, once we'd made the first steps, we talked about our feelings and although he said it felt strange seeing me with other guys, he didn't feel jealousy as such, although he said it did give him a twinge of something
All we can recommend is that people do what we did, which was talk, talk, talk about feelings. Whether they are good or bad, it's the only way forward. If you try to hide feelings, they will surface at some point and cause problems.
We have never been happier, have a fantastic sex life both with and without swinging partners, but at the end of the day, this would not be possible if we could not talk about feelings.
Downside for us is the constant costs of new sexy underwear. I've probably spent more in the last year than I had in the previous 10 years.
You know how it is girls - see something and just *have* to have it.
And don't even mention the cost of novelty intimate piercing jewellery
Having to purchase so many pieces to that no guy sees the same piece more than once can be heck of an expense
:roll: Tracy-Jayne
Orgasminator
Our downside so far has been
1. i get asked to meet separatly from baz ( in chatroom )
2 we,ve been stood up a couple of times ( with no explanation)
3 the price of sexy underwear.
Other than that we,re having a great time
Made new friends
And can,t wait to meet more
:happy: :bounce:
1. i get asked to meet separatly from baz ( in chatroom )
2 we,ve been stood up a couple of times ( with no explanation)
3 the price of sexy underwear.
Other than that we,re having a great time
Made new friends
And can,t wait to meet more
:happy: :bounce:
Sexpert
Quote by xxdevil69
Our downside was always babytsitters (or lack of)
Snap, we must be weird too!
Although we`ve never been through the jealousy thing we are aware that it can reside in most of us. For those in loving relationships this whole thing is tantamount to playing with fire and although I could never be jealous of someone bigger or better sexually, I certainly like to keep a spiritual distance from anyone we may be intimate with...yet at the same time requiring a little familiarity for it to be fun!!! Very , very difficult
Sex God
downsides mmm ppl looking at ya add ,and adding to ya msn without asking ,then finding out they dont have a profile ,or reading ya add ours saying no single males ,then ya get email saying "i know ya dont want single males but blah blah blah" the same old shit but thats a part of the game .or chatting to ppl agreeing on ya boundries then sett up the meet and they want extra from ya .
Sex God
no no no no funin! 
i'm not doing contentious threads anymore, and i'm deffo not giving too much away!
and i'm certainly not doing "neil's thoughts on swinging as a single male / as part of a swinging partnership" oh no!
oh bollox i'm here now . . .
downsides to swinging . . .
can you seperate your emotions entirely from sex? are you sure? what if it's a regular thing? what if you've already become friends? what if the emotions suddenly sneak up on you and there they are?
can you keep to your boundaries? do you really even know what your boundaries are? what if you overstep them one time? will you spend days having to look at them and redefine them or redefine yourself after a lot of soul searching? can you handle the redefinition?
do you have any issues whatsoever re: confidence / attractiveness / performance / expectations?
are your fantasies just fantasies? what if you enact them and then find they were better left in imagination? can you deal with it? can your partner deal with it?
do you suffer from jealousy? can you rationalise it? can you cope with seeing your partner swinging without you?
do you have semi-decent communication skills. it's likely you'll need them at some point? there can be a shedload to discuss!
oh i could go on . . . i reckon that's more than enough for now! it ain't nearly so easy as you like to think at times early on.
n x x x ;)
i'm not doing contentious threads anymore, and i'm deffo not giving too much away!
and i'm certainly not doing "neil's thoughts on swinging as a single male / as part of a swinging partnership" oh no!
oh bollox i'm here now . . .
downsides to swinging . . .
can you seperate your emotions entirely from sex? are you sure? what if it's a regular thing? what if you've already become friends? what if the emotions suddenly sneak up on you and there they are?
can you keep to your boundaries? do you really even know what your boundaries are? what if you overstep them one time? will you spend days having to look at them and redefine them or redefine yourself after a lot of soul searching? can you handle the redefinition?
do you have any issues whatsoever re: confidence / attractiveness / performance / expectations?
are your fantasies just fantasies? what if you enact them and then find they were better left in imagination? can you deal with it? can your partner deal with it?
do you suffer from jealousy? can you rationalise it? can you cope with seeing your partner swinging without you?
do you have semi-decent communication skills. it's likely you'll need them at some point? there can be a shedload to discuss!
oh i could go on . . . i reckon that's more than enough for now! it ain't nearly so easy as you like to think at times early on.
n x x x ;)
