Dumbass inventions

6 May 2007

This taken from another thread

Quote by Corrie2007
If the thought of sticking your finger into your belly button to fish out jumper fluff leaves you feeling a little queasy, help is at hand in the shape of the stunning belly button brush.
Intensively designed and developed by NASA (honest!) costing the tax paying citizens of America billions of dollars, the hi-tech design has left many people speechless.
:

Made me think of the most pointless invention I have ever known and also one of the things that when I first was told about it made me laugh so much I nearly wet myself biggrin

Here it is
Upon deciding to venture into a mission with the Russians to build a space station NASA spent millions of dollars of american tax payers money researching a pen that would work in space. The Russians took pencils rotflmao

:lol2: :mrgreen: :haha: :giggle: loon

Any more?

6 May 2007

6 May 2007

Another version:

rolleyes

7 May 2007

Interesting, I have a load more like this but they are not inventions so I wont list them here but will have to look them up and see as well smile

Will be funny if the ones where no money is involed are not disputed and only the ones involving money are.

7 May 2007

The Victorian era produced many such dumbass things. But we also have gadgets now, which sound convincing but are just things we often don't really need.

8 May 2007

Driving licences for women!

8 May 2007

Quote by Versace Vase
Driving licences for women!

Or pink cars.

8 May 2007

Washing up gloves in man-sizes.
Pain killers in child-proof (arthritis-proof) bottles.
Instructions for any equipment used principally by men.

8 May 2007

Them little covers that go over plugholes mad

And I don't mean plugs!!! rotflmao

Them things with tiny little holes in, to stop bits going down your sink.
When you use em and empty the washing up bowl, it takes approximately 4 hours for the water to drain rolleyes

and about 4 days after that for the bubbles to go away :roll:
That's providing you don't have anything in the water any bigger than a grain of dissolved sugar :shock: Otherwise it starts to block :roll:
Then you're left having to put your hand in three quarters of the remaining water, to retreive the cover, to remove the 4 bits that are blocking it .......... and as soon as you do that - all the rest of the bits fly down the plug anyway!! :shock:
Bluddy pointless they are, ok I get about 3 grains of grit less down my plug than I normally would - but to the detriment of having to put my hand in a load of yucky water that feels like it's full of spiders confused

:? :?

8 May 2007

Quote by Missy
Them little covers that go over plugholes
And I don't mean plugs!!! Them things with tiny little holes in, to stop bits going down your sink.
When you use em and empty the washing up bowl, it takes approximately 4 hours for the water to drain and about 4 days after that for the bubbles to go away :roll:
That's providing you don't have anything in the water any bigger than a grain of dissolved sugar :shock: Otherwise it starts to block :roll:
Then you're left having to put your hand in three quarters of the remaining water, to retreive the cover, to remove the 4 bits that are blocking it .......... and as soon as you do that - all the rest of the bits fly down the plug anyway!! :shock:
Bluddy pointless they are, ok I get about 3 grains of grit less down my plug than I normally would - but to the detriment of having to put my hand in a load of yucky water that feels like it's full of spiders :? :?

And to think I sold those once by the bucket load at a shot bolt

8 May 2007

Quote by Missy
Bluddy pointless they are, ok I get about 3 grains of grit less down my plug than I normally would - but to the detriment of having to put my hand in a load of yucky water that feels like it's full of spiders :? :?

it IS full of spiders! Didnt you know?
Occidental Northern Hemisphere Outflow spiders.... very specific to Western Europe... As opposed to the Oriental Southern Hemisphere Outflow spiders... more common in Borneo and Australia... though thought of as less of a pest there, as they already have such horrors as the Funnel Web, and toilet seat one.
Our one... not considered a danger, has adapted to the counterclockwise outflow in our sinks and baths... usually no problem whatsoever to us, as they are generally rather weak... but throw in the flow-reducing *strainer* and presto... thousands of little blighters will be able to go against the flow, and enter the tepid waters, now mineral rich, of sinks...>god fordid; baths!! though if youre dirty enough to consider a strainer in a bath, maybe a hosedown in the yard should be born in mind before venturing indoors<...
Very small bodied, though long limbed... they'll rapidly search the murky warm waters for scraps... food scrapings, potato peelings.. tea leaves all suffice... but a reknowned Oxbridge spiderologist has noted the mites (for that is technically what they are, dispite the name and comparitively large size) much prefer, and will actually form a *feeding frenzy* for skin flakes!
this sensation of 'spiders in the water' that you percieve Missy is indeed real.... hundereds of the long-limbed, tiny bodied Mites scuttling across your flesh in the water, feasting on the surface of your skin... then flushed immediately away when the semi-blocked strainer is removed... only to return, larger and hungrier to the feeding grounds next time...
True!
So, I'm with you on that one... dump the strainer, dump it now!
I know use mine to flick cigerette ash into, in the hope of saving and small pieces of unburnt tobacco from hitting the ash-tray... hence saving approximately the contents of one roll-up every ten years... a little tip for you all there.
lp

8 May 2007

Womens pc keyboreds,with all the work to be done in and about the home they really shouldnt be time for them to post!

8 May 2007

Quote by Versace Vase
Womens pc keyboreds,with all the work to be done in and about the home they really shouldnt be time for them to post!

i agree....i have a mountain of washing i need doing, theres thousands of women on here, one of them should do ittttt!

8 May 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
Womens pc keyboreds,with all the work to be done in and about the home they really shouldnt be time for them to post!

i agree....i have a mountain of washing i need doing, theres thousands of women on here, one of them should do ittttt!
I can see why you're single :dry:

9 May 2007

Quote by LondonPlaything
Bluddy pointless they are, ok I get about 3 grains of grit less down my plug than I normally would - but to the detriment of having to put my hand in a load of yucky water that feels like it's full of spiders :? :?

it IS full of spiders! Didnt you know?
Occidental Northern Hemisphere Outflow spiders.... very specific to Western Europe... As opposed to the Oriental Southern Hemisphere Outflow spiders... more common in Borneo and Australia... though thought of as less of a pest there, as they already have such horrors as the Funnel Web, and toilet seat one.
Our one... not considered a danger, has adapted to the counterclockwise outflow in our sinks and baths... usually no problem whatsoever to us, as they are generally rather weak... but throw in the flow-reducing *strainer* and presto... thousands of little blighters will be able to go against the flow, and enter the tepid waters, now mineral rich, of sinks...>god fordid; baths!! though if youre dirty enough to consider a strainer in a bath, maybe a hosedown in the yard should be born in mind before venturing indoors<...
Very small bodied, though long limbed... they'll rapidly search the murky warm waters for scraps... food scrapings, potato peelings.. tea leaves all suffice... but a reknowned Oxbridge spiderologist has noted the mites (for that is technically what they are, dispite the name and comparitively large size) much prefer, and will actually form a *feeding frenzy* for skin flakes!
this sensation of 'spiders in the water' that you percieve Missy is indeed real.... hundereds of the long-limbed, tiny bodied Mites scuttling across your flesh in the water, feasting on the surface of your skin... then flushed immediately away when the semi-blocked strainer is removed... only to return, larger and hungrier to the feeding grounds next time...
True!
So, I'm with you on that one... dump the strainer, dump it now!
I know use mine to flick cigerette ash into, in the hope of saving and small pieces of unburnt tobacco from hitting the ash-tray... hence saving approximately the contents of one roll-up every ten years... a little tip for you all there.
lp
Oh LP

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Just as I've managed to convince myself it was a bit of lettuce and a couple of noodles or something, you go and plant that seed! :shock:
Who was the original pillock that invented the bits of cardboard/leaflets/paper that falls out of magazines as soon as you pick em up mad

14 May 2007

Quote by tweeky
This taken from another thread
If the thought of sticking your finger into your belly button to fish out jumper fluff leaves you feeling a little queasy, help is at hand in the shape of the stunning belly button brush.
Intensively designed and developed by NASA (honest!) costing the tax paying citizens of America billions of dollars, the hi-tech design has left many people speechless.
:

Made me think of the most pointless invention I have ever known and also one of the things that when I first was told about it made me laugh so much I nearly wet myself biggrin

Here it is
Upon deciding to venture into a mission with the Russians to build a space station NASA spent millions of dollars of american tax payers money researching a pen that would work in space. The Russians took pencils rotflmao

:lol2: :mrgreen: :haha: :giggle: loon

Any more?
Saddly this is an urban myth sad

:(
Just consider the effect of pencil sharpnings in zero-g :shock:
But you did remind me of the much missed Innovations Catalogue. How I miss that august journal. Every issue packed with crap ideas that could never work.

14 May 2007

The AUP ?

14 May 2007

Some of the best inventions are just the combination of two object that already exist. I myself hope to make a fortune by combing a steam iron with a mobile phone.

14 May 2007

Quote by keeno
Some of the best inventions are just the combination of two object that already exist. I myself hope to make a fortune by combing a steam iron with a mobile phone.

Be a few burnt ears then ... biggrin

unless the iron comes with a blue tooth that is!!! Then would we be able to drive whilst ironing? So long as the blue tooth is switched on of course. :silly: I'm beginning to see endless possibilities here ... off to work on it :happy:

14 May 2007

Quote by mdr2000
The AUP ?

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: wink

14 May 2007

This thread reminds me of a little-known Japanese art called Chindogu. One source defines Chindogu as "the not-so-ancient Japanese art of inventing ingenious everyday gadgets that, on the face of it, seem like an ideal solution to a particular problem. However, Chindogu has a distinctive feature: anyone actually attempting to use one of these inventions, would find that it causes so many new problems, or such significant social embarrassment, that effectively it has no utility whatsoever. Thus, Chindogu are sometimes described as ‘unuseless’ - that is, they cannot be regarded as ‘useless’ in an absolute sense, since they do actually solve a problem; however, in practical terms, they cannot positively be called ‘useful’."
Some examples follow:
- The 10-in-1 gardening tool. Think of a huge Swiss Army knife with various gardening attachments.
- Eyedrop spectacles. A pair of glasses with funnels attached to help you put your eyedrops in.
- Portable office tie. A tie with various compartments built into the back for paperclips, pens, business cards etc.
- Bug-swatting slippers. A pair of slippers with a built-in handle coming out of the back.
- Hayfever hat. A hat consisting of a toilet-roll holder, so you will never be without a hanky for your runny nose and streaming eyes.
There are many many more!
Russell

14 May 2007

Quote by Missy
Them little covers that go over plugholes
And I don't mean plugs!!! Them things with tiny little holes in, to stop bits going down your sink.
When you use em and empty the washing up bowl, it takes approximately 4 hours for the water to drain and about 4 days after that for the bubbles to go away :roll:
That's providing you don't have anything in the water any bigger than a grain of dissolved sugar :shock: Otherwise it starts to block :roll:
Then you're left having to put your hand in three quarters of the remaining water, to retreive the cover, to remove the 4 bits that are blocking it .......... and as soon as you do that - all the rest of the bits fly down the plug anyway!! :shock:
Bluddy pointless they are, ok I get about 3 grains of grit less down my plug than I normally would - but to the detriment of having to put my hand in a load of yucky water that feels like it's full of spiders :? :?

i got one for xmas!
i swear to you i did! it was srapped up and everything.
and the worst part was, was not meant as a joke! :roll:

14 May 2007

Quote by well_busty_babe
Them little covers that go over plugholes
And I don't mean plugs!!! Them things with tiny little holes in, to stop bits going down your sink.
When you use em and empty the washing up bowl, it takes approximately 4 hours for the water to drain and about 4 days after that for the bubbles to go away :roll:
That's providing you don't have anything in the water any bigger than a grain of dissolved sugar :shock: Otherwise it starts to block :roll:
Then you're left having to put your hand in three quarters of the remaining water, to retreive the cover, to remove the 4 bits that are blocking it .......... and as soon as you do that - all the rest of the bits fly down the plug anyway!! :shock:
Bluddy pointless they are, ok I get about 3 grains of grit less down my plug than I normally would - but to the detriment of having to put my hand in a load of yucky water that feels like it's full of spiders :? :?

i got one for xmas!
i swear to you i did! it was srapped up and everything.
and the worst part was, was not meant as a joke! :roll:
:lol2: Cheap present as well although what the thought that counts is ment to be on this occasion could also be questioned. and thats what I was selling them at on a 25% mark up.

19 May 2007

Quote by foxylady2209
Washing up gloves in man-sizes...

No wonder you looked at me that way when I was doing my dishes! :shock:

19 May 2007

Quote by LondonPlaything
Bluddy pointless they are, ok I get about 3 grains of grit less down my plug than I normally would - but to the detriment of having to put my hand in a load of yucky water that feels like it's full of spiders :? :?

it IS full of spiders! Didnt you know?
Occidental Northern Hemisphere Outflow spiders.... very specific to Western Europe... As opposed to the Oriental Southern Hemisphere Outflow spiders... more common in Borneo and Australia... though thought of as less of a pest there, as they already have such horrors as the Funnel Web, and toilet seat one.
Our one... not considered a danger, has adapted to the counterclockwise outflow in our sinks and baths... usually no problem whatsoever to us, as they are generally rather weak... but throw in the flow-reducing *strainer* and presto... thousands of little blighters will be able to go against the flow, and enter the tepid waters, now mineral rich, of sinks...>god fordid; baths!! though if youre dirty enough to consider a strainer in a bath, maybe a hosedown in the yard should be born in mind before venturing indoors<...
Very small bodied, though long limbed... they'll rapidly search the murky warm waters for scraps... food scrapings, potato peelings.. tea leaves all suffice... but a reknowned Oxbridge spiderologist has noted the mites (for that is technically what they are, dispite the name and comparitively large size) much prefer, and will actually form a *feeding frenzy* for skin flakes!
this sensation of 'spiders in the water' that you percieve Missy is indeed real.... hundereds of the long-limbed, tiny bodied Mites scuttling across your flesh in the water, feasting on the surface of your skin... then flushed immediately away when the semi-blocked strainer is removed... only to return, larger and hungrier to the feeding grounds next time...
True!
So, I'm with you on that one... dump the strainer, dump it now!
I know use mine to flick cigerette ash into, in the hope of saving and small pieces of unburnt tobacco from hitting the ash-tray... hence saving approximately the contents of one roll-up every ten years... a little tip for you all there.
lp

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
i'm trying to think of a funny comeback, but you completed fooked me LP! lol

shame the spiders are in the sink though? if they was running round your floor you could always use one of these . . .

it's the remote control spider stamper swing_fun_cpl mentioned! practical and comfortable! :cool:
neil x x x ;)

19 May 2007

Quote by neilinleeds
shame the spiders are in the sink though? if they was running round your floor you could always use one of these . . .

it's the remote control spider stamper swing_fun_cpl mentioned! practical and comfortable! :cool:
neil x x x ;)

Beware!
There were some early teething troubles with this particular model of bug-squish-slipper... I believe all ironed out post 1997... though some may still be in circulation manufactured before that date... check the CSI stamp. (CSI= Chinese Safety Inspected)
A Quick-release handled version of this device was initially marketed, and not fully safety tested in the rush to catch the market during 1996 Bejing Cockroach Explosion... I'm sure you can understand the demand for the devices at the time... and it was because of this minor slip-up that an *issue* was overlooked.
The quick-release, though obviously very convenient when being approached by a moving wall of shiny carapace and twitching antenna, never mind the rustle and scratch noise of the thousands of limbs, had a habit of going off of its own volition...
not so bad in itsself you may think...
but when a few reports of accidents were beginning to lead the newspapers, rather than the plague itsself...well... something had to be done.
Mainly tales affecting the aged were hitting the oriental equivalent of the redtops.
In Bejing, as well as here, our elderly community have been known to live and die, as it were, in their comfy slippers... wearing them, obviously, around their homes... perhaps to the end of the small yard to gossip over the bamboo fence (if still standing after the lastest wave of insect tsunami had swept through the nieghbourhood).. maybe even a stroll to the street vendor on the corner... it was thse instances... the aged, the street... that drew attention.
leaning back against thier walls, chatting amiably, comparing notes on harvest devestaion and home-cerial depletion... the quick-release would do just that...
release.... quickly
frail men and women would suddenly spiral away from the nieghbour... lauched through the air by the high and dramatic thrust from the heel against whatever may have been behind, or below them.
sadly, if a small group of the elderly were all chatting together, the shock/jump that one may feel as theier friend disappeared skyward, screaming... would transfer to thier own Bug-Slapper-Slipper, and they too, before they even registered their own shock may spring away from wall or floor... a dramatic and tragic domino effect...
also of course very dangerous for those in the general vacinity... a pensioner, no matter how small or frail, can cause immense dammage and physical harm if falling from a great hieght.
Smaller, one may say less dramatic iinstances also occurred... though no less tragic for that.... perhaps moreso.
the lone OAP... in their small insect ridden appartment, reading Moa... suddenly boiiiing... from a resting postion of feet out, crossed at the ankle, little more to worry about that the safety of thier rice from the cockroach... and bang! there you have it... gone from floor to cieling in a spiraling flash... the spring provided from theier own heel... and worse still... the very same heel, now a sharp, and as you can see, long stick... has impaled its self in the upper floor, and our shocked pensioner finds themself suspended, unable to move... sadly for days at a time, washed by their own urine from weekened bladders... very sad indeed.
so beware as I say...
LP

21 May 2007

Sadly we've had non of them patented just yet but we seem to spend way too much time in our office thinking of pointless inventions.
My favourite one so far has to be prescription windscreens for those that need glasses whilst driving. Imagine pulling up at the lights to look in the rear view mirror to see the driver behind has fitted their car with one of these great inventions of modern times. You look in the miror and both driver and passenger in the car behind look something like this.......
:eeek: :eeek:

21 May 2007

Quote by sheddy
You look in the miror and both driver and passenger in the car behind look something like this.......
:eeek: :eeek:

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
or may that be that your hand-brake has failed at the lights... and you've started to roll back down the hill?
on a driving tip:
t'other day I say a driver struggling along a road local to my workplace, maneouvering (sp?) around/over/across speed control measures, combing his breakfast from a full and I have say, rather magnificent beard... using the rearview to admire his efforts, possibly checking for seconds.
I wondered whether a contraption along the lines of a fine-toothed comb fitted to the steering wheel... between the ten-to-two postion, with a small mirrored surface on the dash, plus a small descrete *tray* to catch detritus as it falls...
could well save the chap from mino accidents as he preens, cat-style, rubbing his bearded chops against the wheel and maintainin a degree of control, and still managing to look in the general direction of travel.
then, should he choose, he can dip into the *snack-catcher* as and when he chooses to keep the old blood sugar levels up...
of course... our lady-folk can also use this device, just because I mentioned a bearded chap... there's no need to feel it only suits the chaps.
lp