Equality for all?

4 Oct 2007

Hi guys
I was chatting to a couple in a chatroom, all very nice and getting quite fun. We took a private room to talk further about a possible meet.
Anyway it turns out this couple insisted on pics of me beforehand (fair enough) but also said they wouldn't give out pics themselves, just meet on the night. I politely pointed out that there must be mutual attraction as it's a two-way thing, which the couple then reacted to by saying if I didn't trust them there was no point in arranging anything.
I was under the impression that I was talking to both persons (may not of course) but was still left a little dazed smile

Anyone else had any similar recent experiences?

4 Oct 2007

Yes I had exactly the same thing, I politely declined to meet and moved on. cool

4 Oct 2007

Not had anything like that happen to us, but it does sound very unfair. As you say, it's got to work both ways, this trust thing. I'd have just said 'well I'm not prepared to give you pictures of me either then - don't you trust me?'
What did you do?

4 Oct 2007

I'm guessing it's one of two things.
Because you're single males, they assume you're picture collecting, or
They're mingers. rolleyes

4 Oct 2007

Quote by winchwench
They're mingers.

That made me giggle lol

I've had a similar thing as part of a couple, they thought we only needed to see pictures of her and not him, I think that's quite common though - or am I wrong?
Personally I wouldn't meet anyone without seeing a picture first, and I hate the 'class hierarchy' that goes on. I've seen it in chat many time where couples think that single guys should just be glad of the attention.
People should be treated according to their actions and not what little symbol they have next to thier name.
H.x
*steps off high horse onto soap box and dismounts.

4 Oct 2007

You are right Dave, it shouldn't be one rule for one and another for another. Pics are an important part of a meet, so are texting, MSN, phone chats. It still doesn't guarantee a meet will be successful because you could all meet up and have absolutely no conversation whatsoever! lol

I actually think it's quite rude of that couple to ask for your pic and decline giving theirs. evil

4 Oct 2007

Quote by H-x
Personally I wouldn't meet anyone without seeing a picture first, and I hate the 'class hierarchy' that goes on. I've seen it in chat many time where couples think that single guys should just be glad of the attention.

Do you know, I thought about this after - some couples seem to think they are doing the single guys a favour - at least that's how they come across. Bloody annoying as well as very rude. confused

4 Oct 2007

yes I belive this is very unfair, we usually ask for pictures before meeting but wouldnt dream of asking with no intention of showing ours.

4 Oct 2007

I often find it the other way around. They send me the pictures first without me asking and not demanding any from myself.
Personally, if they were going to play the trust card, I would ask to talk to both of them on the phone to make sure that you are indeed talking to a couple and also ask them to describe themselves in great detail. Just that humiliation might knock them down a couple of pegs.
Why is there an option to hide your faces or write all over the image, yet still don't trust people to show them.... Have to agree with Wench, probably mingers.

4 Oct 2007

Quote by H-x
I hate the 'class hierarchy' that goes on. I've seen it in chat many time where couples think that single guys should just be glad of the attention.
People should be treated according to their actions and not what little symbol they have next to thier name.

4 Oct 2007

Quote by Freckledbird

Personally I wouldn't meet anyone without seeing a picture first, and I hate the 'class hierarchy' that goes on. I've seen it in chat many time where couples think that single guys should just be glad of the attention.

Do you know, I thought about this after - some couples seem to think they are doing the single guys a favour - at least that's how they come across. Bloody annoying as well as very rude. confused

Well said, both of you - it's an attitude I've also been subjected to.
:thumbup:

4 Oct 2007

Quote by MikeNorth

Personally I wouldn't meet anyone without seeing a picture first, and I hate the 'class hierarchy' that goes on. I've seen it in chat many time where couples think that single guys should just be glad of the attention.

Do you know, I thought about this after - some couples seem to think they are doing the single guys a favour - at least that's how they come across. Bloody annoying as well as very rude. confused

Well said, both of you - it's an attitude I've also been subjected to.
:thumbup:
Why do you think I don't get 'involved'?

4 Oct 2007

Quote by essex34m

Personally I wouldn't meet anyone without seeing a picture first, and I hate the 'class hierarchy' that goes on. I've seen it in chat many time where couples think that single guys should just be glad of the attention.

Do you know, I thought about this after - some couples seem to think they are doing the single guys a favour - at least that's how they come across. Bloody annoying as well as very rude. confused

Well said, both of you - it's an attitude I've also been subjected to.
:thumbup:
Why do you think I don't get 'involved'?
Shame you don't honey.

4 Oct 2007

Not very fair that!
We wouldn't meet anyone we haven't seen a picture of first and we wouldn't meet someone if we thought they hadn't seen a picture of us.
Tony wink

4 Oct 2007

If Mohammed will not go to the mountain, the mountain must come to Mohammed
it works for me....... biggrin

5 Oct 2007

SuperDave
Do as Winey wisely did and move on. Regardless of status this whole meeting up business is based on trust. We would never meet without pics, MSN chat, cam or phone call with BOTH partners to verify. And we would never ask anyone for pics without giving ours out in return.
I think sadly there are couples who thinks SM's should bow at their feet.
pink x

5 Oct 2007

Quote by blueandpink
SuperDave
Do as Winey wisely did and move on. Regardless of status this whole meeting up business is based on trust. We would never meet without pics, MSN chat, cam or phone call with BOTH partners to verify. And we would never ask anyone for pics without giving ours out in return.
I think sadly there are couples who thinks SM's should bow at their feet.
pink x

Thats quite right and shame on them for doing so....
We always ask for a recent face pic and immediately send an invite to our private gallery..
No pics......No meet..

5 Oct 2007

Sounds like a raw deal to me. I always exchange if I'm interested in a meet and pics are available from the other party, otherwise they have to make do with what's on my profile (unless they have a cam for verification).
I also hate the profiles/ads where there's no pic "because of the job I'm in"or "because the wife/ girlfriend/ children/ boss/ probation officer/ dog might recognise me"(delete those not applicable).
A lot of us are in jobs where we'd prefer for our colleagues not to see us (although of course if they're on here in the first place.....). But that doesn't mean that you can't show a pic of anypart of you. rolleyes

At least we seem to have generally got over the old chestnut of "I'm getting a camera next week".
Lastly, and deviating slightly....I had another one of those "your loss" comments last night when I politely turned down an offer and wished the other person good luck in finding what they're looking for. Toys-pram-out-thrown? I always know I'm not losing out on anything when I get those lol

5 Oct 2007

Quote by blueandpink
I think sadly there are couples who thinks SM's should bow at their feet.

I think some couples are not use to rejection from single males, and think it should be the other way round, if I have turned down a meet I have known couples to get abusive about it, I think I have been called all sorts and called me a timewaster....I just have a very thick skin about it all and I just think to myself, lucky escape!!!!
yes There are couples in the chatroom who think the single men are the lowest of the low.... and it is really sad to see people belittled in the chatroom because of it,
I don't want anyone to think they are doing me a favour by meeting me... but you do not get that feeling from some people........
dave... just move on... don't compromise yourself and your standards by giving in to them all....
sean xxxxxxxxxxx

5 Oct 2007

were they on cam confused

:
we operate a "you show me yours and we will show you ours" policy albeit most of the requests to see "ours" are not directed at me :cry:
(sympathy shag anyone :?: )

5 Oct 2007

i have a motto..........
no pic........no poke
it is harsh though when some try to apply the rule to others but not themselves.
they must have had something to hide

5 Oct 2007

Ive been on date where I havent seen a pic of other person, sometimes pleasantly surprised, sometimes not! confused

:?
In this instance tho, bugga that for a lark....pics a must have I should think!!
Good luck anyway Dave! wink

5 Oct 2007

We'd meet anyone ............. but thats coz we are both UGLY and 92 years old!!! :shock:

7 Oct 2007

I don't think it helps matters when single males are asked if someone can vouch for them/verify them (for some events) but single females and couples aren't. There are just as many couples/single females who are unable to behave as there are single males.

7 Oct 2007

Quote by fabio
I think I have been called all sorts and called me a timewaster....I just have a very thick skin about it all and I just think to myself, lucky escape!!!!

You have a thick skin do ya fella?
Well in that case the next time you piss yourself laughing at 'my get away' I'm gonna see how thick your skin is! :fuckinghell:

8 Oct 2007

Thanks for all the replies guys.
Its reassuring to know that there are couples who do not treat SM's as second class citizens biggrin

I was sure it was a one-off, and your replies have emphasised that for me, thanks.
For the record, I politely walked away. Life's too short :D

8 Oct 2007

Quote by SuperDave
Thanks for all the replies guys.
Its reassuring to know that there are couples who do not treat SM's as second class citizens
I was sure it was a one-off, and your replies have emphasised that for me, thanks.
For the record, I politely walked away. Life's too short :D

Good for you :thumbup: