Etiquette - I am single woman

I am having a problems with Whats app and social media.  I give guys my number for security reasons and to make meeting up easier.  I met up with a guy and asked him to keep messages to my phone business like (discreet), which he did not.  I humoured it up to a point and met up, which was fine.  I didn't agree to meet him again though because I didn't want to get involved  - he started to send dirty messages about our meet to my personal phone when I was out with my mum (awkward) and also would send dirty messages when I was obviously at work.   He then found out who I was and followed my Twitter account (I said keep it discrete).   I then blocked him and I has contacted me a week later with a new number.

I always get badgered for repeat meetings and pressurised.  I wondered if this was normal behaviour, it's becoming more work than a boyfriend.

Sorry to hear about your experience. It sounds to me like your etiquette is fine but his is verging on stalking.  No means no, even on social media.  Guys do occasionally get easily fixated,  taking a meet for more than it actually is.  I'm sure others on here will have similar tales.  Discretion should be respected in my opinion. Not sure that helps you so perhaps the only advice is for a friendly but firm ' thanks but it was a one off' and then keep a record if the behaviour gets out of hand or past your boundaries. 

Absolutely.  My meet before decided that it was a relationship.   I had two other meets (2 years ago) that were absolutely fine.  My Twitter account is work related and has colleagues on it which is why I didn't like it and I found it indirectly threatening.  It seems to be an age related.  I happy to meet with older guys - on both occasions they have disparaged women their own age in front of me and then gone to on pestering.   Whilst guys my age, just move on.

Honestly couldn't say if it was age related as I was probably more naive on the relationship front when I was younger (I get the whole thing now, after all this is a swinging site, not a marriage bureaux).  Quite possibly though, you might be the best thing that ever happened to them - must make it hard to move on but still no excuse in my book.  Hope all your future meets work out. 

Thanks for being lovely.  I hope I don't sound arrogant, but it is a bit distressing.

I'm sure it is.  It's not the norm for this site I would hope but you can get unlucky with people in any walks of life. So glad to see that you've got enough respect for yourself to see this as a problem.  Just hold your head up high and don't be afraid to contact the authorities, even if that's just the admins on here.  You sound great so I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for here without the hassle that you don't need. 

buy a cheap phone off ebay and use a pay and go sim..giffgaff are cheap..only use this phone for your meets..never give out your real name if possible..only meet somewhere safe like an hotel or swinging club.

Thanks.  I always meet in a hotel.  People often ask what job I do?  Is this normal.  I can understand it for security reasons, but other wise it is irrelevant.

Quote by Lovely_26
Thanks.  I always meet in a hotel.  People often ask what job I do?  Is this normal.  I can understand it for security reasons, but other wise it is irrelevant.

 Maybe just generally making conversation regarding your job. Again you could just give out false information to protect yourself, if it's generally one off meets you do...You do see a lot of folk meeting the same people over and over. We never do, this is how things can get out of hand. Stalking, jealousy, obsession and so on.

the behaviour you experienced Lovely _26 is not OK in any way - and not your fault. As above "no" should mean "no" - if someone doesn't get it, it is harassment/ stalking. If the guy(s) are still on here consider letting Admin know about them. 

Re WhatsApp - don't use it as it opens up your phone number to others. There are other messengers out there that work fine and more discreet  ( , signal, ...)

Hope this helps - have fun and stay save

Do be very careful. My advice would be that until you have met someone and feel you can fully trust them, never use your real name, don't tell them where you live or work, and always use a non-personal e-mail address. I would always recommend a first meeting in a busy cafe or pub - meeting in a hotel straight away might send out the wrong signal, and possibly less easy to escape from in a hurry! 

Remember, you are in the driving seat: create your own set of rules and then stick to them. Genuine people will respect them, and those that don't you won't want to know anyway. Good luck - stay safe!

Just a further thought on the age thing - I don't think you can generalise. I often end up chatting to singles and couples who are specifically looking for an older man, who having had hassle from younger, pushy guys, want to find someone who knows the rules - ie 'no means no'!, is polite, considerate and knows how to treat a woman. 

Quote by 2for2more
I may be missing something here, so my apologies if I'm oversimplifying things. But it seems to me that if you want to keep the two aspects of your life separate, it might be a good idea to make more effort to ensure they stay that way.
I.e separate twit-book and WhatsApp accounts with a whole different personality and no clues as to where you live, as well as a different phone number for your on-line 'sex-meet profile' than for work, family and everything else in your life. 
That way, you simply press the -off- button when you don't want to be contacted by dick heads and the only people who have access to your personal life are those you invite.

Quote by 2for2more
I may be missing something here, so my apologies if I'm oversimplifying things. But it seems to me that if you want to keep the two aspects of your life separate, it might be a good idea to make more effort to ensure they stay that way.
I.e separate twit-book and WhatsApp accounts with a whole different personality and no clues as to where you live, as well as a different phone number for your on-line 'sex-meet profile' than for work, family and everything else in your life. 
That way, you simply press the -off- button when you don't want to be contacted by dick heads and the only people who have access to your personal life are those you invite.

Sorry that above quotes were an error.  Yes I could buy a separate phone with my bank details (for security reasons), running two mobile phones is quite expensive.   My WhatsApp. is anon.  The only thing I gave was my first name and that I worked in education.  He was a computer expert and managed to find me somehow. 

I think what I did (in error) was use a facial shot (clean and decent) and he had software that allowed him put it into google and drag up my Twitter profile.  I guess I shouldn't send images.

A reverse image search on google can divulge a lot of information... Just be careful what pics you use and make sure all your social media is well locked down privacy-wise...

Quote by Lovely_26
I think what I did (in error) was use a facial shot (clean and decent) and he had software that allowed him put it into google and drag up my Twitter profile.  I guess I shouldn't send images.

He probably just did an image reversal search ..I do it all the time on here to catch out all the new accounts that turn out to be fake because the pics turn out to be on many porn sites(pay ones)..especially the pretty young women that show their faces on here and have very sparse profile write ups.

No worries - you were helpful 2for2more.  I have a public profile for work anyway.  I suppose I'll have to decide what I want to do and learn more about computers.  Thanks for all the kind comments!!

Just be safe and be sure you move at your own pace... 

Thanks!