Evolving the English language
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC (now
officially the European Union, or EU), the European Parliament has
commissioned a feasability study in ways of improving efficiency in
communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is
unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and
thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron
out these anomalies. The programme would be administered by a committee
staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using's'
instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would
resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k'
sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up
konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made
with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was
anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This
would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is
disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as
though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the
skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th'
by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is,
after al, half a 'w'.
Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words
kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis
and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the
Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
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Evolving the English Language
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Sex God
And to think, I've only just got used to talking in sentimetres :shock:
Quote by MrFC
Evolving the English language
Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k'
sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up
konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made
with one less letter.
.
Hey - I am EU compliant! do you think I will get a grant! OMG - Kat will think everyone is a potential 'Penfriend':shock: bloody women never forget - but why do they have to keep reminding Fred?
Orgasminator
I wonder if we'll need to get a CE mark stamped on our tackle? 
Sex God
Und vot about ze VAT :!: :!:
Herr FK - absolutely bloody brilliant.
Herr FK - absolutely bloody brilliant.
