EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo, bath. Bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on
their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmm...not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I
was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the foul odor of what they call "pizza." More importantly, I
overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must
learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to
be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is
assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...
Venusxxx
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