Expectations of meets

4 Apr 2006

the big thing that puts me off meeting couples these days is how im seen as some sort of commodity, an object, a sex toy, a fantasy filler, something to be passed on to other people, a 24/7 sex kitten (or a timewaster when ppl find out i actually have a life apart from my sex kitten persona and wont meet at the drop of a hat) and on the other hand im an unattainable goal or a special and rare jewel.....talk about putting someone on a pedastal......
im none of these things im just a girl!
i hope this doent offend anyone, i know no-ones being malicious....its just....well....oh i dunno
Ok quoted by sexkitten tonight. (hope you don't mind kiss

)
This has made me think about peoples expectations of meets? I prefer to meet for a social drink first to see if we get on. I know of others who just like to get straight on & say wham, bam, thank you mam. Whats your expectations of meets?

4 Apr 2006

we seem to have same problem with mrs f being young alot seem to think they can just jump str8 in there , we very carefull now meeting if and when very fussy now suppose lol

4 Apr 2006

Quote by hisandhers
Ok quoted by sexkitten tonight. (hope you don't mind )
This has made me think about peoples expectations of meets? I prefer to meet for a social drink first to see if we get on. I know of others who just like to get straight on & say wham, bam, thank you mam. Whats your expectations of meets?

i dont mind at all hun, in fact im quite impressed at myself for making a meaningful post for once redface

4 Apr 2006

Well I would like to think I have never seen anyone as just a sexual fantasy myself...... call me cheesy or whatever but for me I have to like both the woman AND the guy before I'm even remotely keen enough to want to jump right in as it was put, if the guys a sleaze and the woman dead horny its still a no no for me..... I would hate to think of Julie being used as described although its a fine line between just sex and being overly friendly we do like to be at least friends first.... Maybe were/I am different in some way! From who we have met so far I don't think so... Sad to hear your feeling like that!
Its all supposed to be fun....maybe a break from things for a while would make you feel better?
Mike xxx

4 Apr 2006

As you all know redface

no meet as yet apart from one swinging party we went to with another couple.
Myself and Stormwalker definately feel the need to chat lots and get to know someone first. Even though we hav'nt done the proper meet thing yet it would be imperative we got to know them. The chemistry has to be there but so does the friendship.
I'm so excited about our first time as it were but as excited as I am I would'nt want to rush the getting to know you stage. It's really important.
Love
FL xxxxxx

4 Apr 2006

Quote by firelizard
As you all know no meet as yet apart from one swinging party we went to with another couple.
Myself and Stormwalker definately feel the need to chat lots and get to know someone first. Even though we hav'nt done the proper meet thing yet it would be imperative we got to know them. The chemistry has to be there but so does the friendship.
I'm so excited about our first time as it were but as excited as I am I would'nt want to rush the getting to know you stage. It's really important.
Love
FL xxxxxx

Good for you......... its better when you get to know people (in our humbled opinion) XX

4 Apr 2006

Quote by mdr2000
Well I would like to think I have never seen anyone as just a sexual fantasy myself...... call me cheesy or whatever but for me I have to like both the woman AND the guy before I'm even remotely keen enough to want to jump right in as it was put, if the guys a sleaze and the woman dead horny its still a no no for me..... I would hate to think of Julie being used as described although its a fine line between just sex and being overly friendly we do like to be at least friends first.... Maybe were/I am different in some way! From who we have met so far I don't think so... Sad to hear your feeling like that!
Its all supposed to be fun....maybe a break from things for a while would make you feel better?
Mike xxx

completely agree with your views and yes i did take a break as i had obviously got stuck in a rut and was making bad choices...a year on and im slowly dipping my toe once again by getting more involved in the social stuff and these forums, i definitely know more what i want these days!

4 Apr 2006

I expect them to be............
Female & preferably still warm :thumbup:

4 Apr 2006

Quote by meat2pleaseu
I expect them to be............
Female & preferably still warm :thumbup:

So no good in the fridge then?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah !!!!!!!!!!!! Bad Stormy Bad Bad Bad Stormy........I can't help myself...... its the pain killers I tell Ya!......She'll put me under the stairs for sure now...in the dark................. wiv the spiders...... :eeek: banghead

:doh: :scared:

4 Apr 2006

Quote by mdr2000
Well I would like to think I have never seen anyone as just a sexual fantasy myself...... call me cheesy or whatever but for me I have to like both the woman AND the guy before I'm even remotely keen enough to want to jump right in as it was put, if the guys a sleaze and the woman dead horny its still a no no for me..... I would hate to think of Julie being used as described although its a fine line between just sex and being overly friendly we do like to be at least friends first.... Maybe were/I am different in some way! From who we have met so far I don't think so... Sad to hear your feeling like that!
Its all supposed to be fun....maybe a break from things for a while would make you feel better?
Mike xxx

i think the main point that sexkitten was making is that sometimes it feels like you're just a extra part to someones elses fantasy, but that this situtation isn't true to all experiences.
some people try to hunt you down (which normally scares u off) where as some try your tack which is to get to know someone first (which is normally more sucsessful)
i think the main point in all this is that at times couples forget to think about how scary it is for a single female (or male) to go and meet up with an established couple. at the end of the day the couple (how ever nervous they are) have each other for support, where as the single (by definition!) doesn't have any support!
not sure if that makes any sense
hope it does
xxx

4 Apr 2006

couples and females we like to get to know a bit first biggrin

But males, ermmmm cause of the way we play with them, i don't actually talk to them, know anything about them or even see a picture to the actual meet, Tony does all that as thats how we like to do it :twisted: but then again we are rather strange lol

:lol:
shaz x
Edit: if forgot to say, with the guys, i never know when or who with or even if a meet is going to take place :lol:

4 Apr 2006

Quote by poshkate
Well I would like to think I have never seen anyone as just a sexual fantasy myself...... call me cheesy or whatever but for me I have to like both the woman AND the guy before I'm even remotely keen enough to want to jump right in as it was put, if the guys a sleaze and the woman dead horny its still a no no for me..... I would hate to think of Julie being used as described although its a fine line between just sex and being overly friendly we do like to be at least friends first.... Maybe were/I am different in some way! From who we have met so far I don't think so... Sad to hear your feeling like that!
Its all supposed to be fun....maybe a break from things for a while would make you feel better?
Mike xxx

i think the main point that sexkitten was making is that sometimes it feels like you're just a extra part to someones elses fantasy, but that this situtation isn't true to all experiences.
some people try to hunt you down (which normally scares u off) where as some try your tack which is to get to know someone first (which is normally more sucsessful)
i think the main point in all this is that at times couples forget to think about how scary it is for a single female (or male) to go and meet up with an established couple. at the end of the day the couple (how ever nervous they are) have each other for support, where as the single (by definition!) doesn't have any support!
not sure if that makes any sense
hope it does
xxx
It makes perfect sense;
I donâ€™t think anyone doubts how scary it must be to be a single anyone meeting a couple.
Itâ€™s quite comforting to know that maybe you are all as insecure as we are.
smile

:therethere: kiss

Stormwalker

4 Apr 2006

ps any advice as to how i can delete one of the posts i managed to post twice
i would be most grateful...........!

5 Apr 2006

Quote by poshkate
ps any advice as to how i can delete one of the posts i managed to post twice
i would be most grateful...........!

On one or both of the posts there should be a button with an x in it click it and it should be deleted....or if there is a MOD out there.... biggrin

For me though a meet has usually been a social thing.....Ive travelled a fair way for them too (Ive done a couple of thousand miles so far....:shock smile

. Ive been to a few munches now and Ive met a lot of people and become friends with most.....I even met Fallen Angel (my better half.... wink

) at Mids Munch.....:happy: :inlove:
A meet can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. As long as all sides agree on what it should be at the time then there should be no problems......And above all, all meets should be fun!

5 Apr 2006

Can't say we've had this problem at all ..... yet, anyway.
The guys we've met have all been gentlemen and far from pushy but then we always try to get to know them reasonably before we meet. Maybe this puts off any of those who just want a quick shag as they simply can't be bothered dunno

Do get a fair amount who PM on the off chance and are quite blatant about what they want but even that hasn't been a problem yet as we simply ignore them.

5 Apr 2006

So thats why i didn't get a reply to my 'i want to shag P silly' Pm :doh:

5 Apr 2006

Quote by meat2pleaseu
So thats why i didn't get a reply to my 'i want to shag P silly' Pm :doh:

:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
Actually, I thought it was me you wanted to shag silly FFS!

5 Apr 2006

Quote by poshkate
i think the main point that sexkitten was making is that sometimes it feels like you're just a extra part to someones elses fantasy, but that this situtation isn't true to all experiences.
some people try to hunt you down (which normally scares u off) where as some try your tack which is to get to know someone first (which is normally more sucsessful)
i think the main point in all this is that at times couples forget to think about how scary it is for a single female (or male) to go and meet up with an established couple. at the end of the day the couple (how ever nervous they are) have each other for support, where as the single (by definition!) doesn't have any support!
not sure if that makes any sense
hope it does
xxx

It all makes sense PoshKate and it does happen, and will always happen. sad

We personally dont 'normally' play with anyone we have not met in a social environment, a munch or some other social event. We havent even arranged to meet people to see how it goes, mainly because it seems a little too false, but that doesnt mean it is the right way for everyone.
I want to 'know' the person I am going to play with, I want to know that I actually like the person before I arrange to meet them, and more than anything else, I would rather that fun happened in an environment were EVERYONE felt comfortable and at ease with each other (whether that be single male, female or a couple).

5 Apr 2006

We have met some wonderfull people through this site. Couples and singles. Without exception the best experiences we have had have been with people whose company we enjoy in a normal social environment.
We have met some stunning looking people, but because that 'spark' wasn't there we have chosen not to go ahead with it.
We have built up a close circle of friends who we play with singly or collectively. Sometimes just for a meal and drinks, sometimes for full on orgy.
Getting to know people in depth enhances our enjoyment.

5 Apr 2006

Well said NWC.
I've been very fortunate so far with the people I've met, the girls were as nervous as I was and far from pushy. I'm a newcomer to this ( though no longer a swinging virgin WooHooo ! ) and to be honest, I didn't know what to expect so I found it much better to get to know the people concerned beforehand. You need some sort of rapport with them and also chance to find out about each others preferences and boundaries.

5 Apr 2006

Quote by Sassy-Seren
Well said NWC.
I've been very fortunate so far with the people I've met, the girls were as nervous as I was and far from pushy. I'm a newcomer to this ( though no longer a swinging virgin WooHooo ! ) and to be honest, I didn't know what to expect so I found it much better to get to know the people concerned beforehand. You need some sort of rapport with them and also chance to find out about each others preferences and boundaries.

I think 'some' people think that cause we are on here all the time and constantly talk loads of bollox (tm sheddy) that we are 'experienced' swingers. We have infact done very little swinging, and I still think I am the only person on here who went to a swingers club and refused to get undressed. I hid in the toilets and put the biggest towel in the world round me and then refused to take it off to get in the jacuzzi, so ended up just paddling my feet redface

5 Apr 2006

just reading the posts and thought id put my 2peneth in
we have been swinging for about 3 years and we prefer to chat a little on site or by phone but when we meet we like to play on the night as long as everyone is agreed, we arnt pushy and do tell the couples we are meeting that they can say not to take things further at any point as we would do the same, yes its true as soomone said earlier you can meet some stunning people but if the sparks no there then everyone walks away no harm done,
my point is that we are in this for the fun and although we arnt out to make friends, we have made friends along the way,
also when we are meeting single men, we dont really chat much we exchange face pictures and then meet and then have fun,
i dont think there is a wrong way or right way, everyones expectations and boundries are different and as long as you are up front then everyone knows where you stand.

5 Apr 2006

Quote by tina1
i dont think there is a wrong way or right way, everyones expectations and boundries are different and as long as you are up front then everyone knows where you stand.

I think that was what I was trying to say lol

5 Apr 2006

Quote by osemlover
So thats why i didn't get a reply to my 'i want to shag P silly' Pm :doh:

:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
Actually, I thought it was me you wanted to shag silly FFS!
T.
not unless you've had some rather intense surgery :eeek:
and i thought you were already beyond silly flipa

5 Apr 2006

Quote by meat2pleaseu
So thats why i didn't get a reply to my 'i want to shag P silly' Pm :doh:

:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
Actually, I thought it was me you wanted to shag silly FFS!
T.

not unless you've had some rather intense surgery :eeek:
and i thought you were already beyond silly flipa

I see you haven't entirely ruled out the possibility then big boy ;)
lol

:lol:

5 Apr 2006

Quote by tina1
just reading the posts and thought id put my 2peneth in
we have been swinging for about 3 years and we prefer to chat a little on site or by phone but when we meet we like to play on the night as long as everyone is agreed, we arnt pushy and do tell the couples we are meeting that they can say not to take things further at any point as we would do the same, yes its true as soomone said earlier you can meet some stunning people but if the sparks no there then everyone walks away no harm done,
my point is that we are in this for the fun and although we arnt out to make friends, we have made friends along the way,
also when we are meeting single men, we dont really chat much we exchange face pictures and then meet and then have fun,
i dont think there is a wrong way or right way, everyones expectations and boundries are different and as long as you are up front then everyone knows where you stand.

For us it's a bit different. We only want friends we can have fun with so anyone who's approach is just 'do you wanna shag' our response is no. That's not any form of judgement about anyone else, just a statement about our preferences. Whatever the tactics, I also think the key to success is being clear about expectations and boundaries. We don't lead people on about what to expect and so far haven't had any problems (touching wood now smile ) If people don't want to chat and get to know us before anything else happens then they're not for us and vice versa.

5 Apr 2006

my expectataions of when i am very rarely lucky enough to get a meet...........None Whatsoever!!!!!
just play it by ear.. and never presume anything.......and enjoy the company if nothing else..... smile

i am one of those that like to get to know people first.... but there is no right or wrong way to go about it.........
sean xxxxxxxxxxx

5 Apr 2006

Quote by fabio grooverider
my expectataions of when i am very rarely lucky enough to get a meet...........None Whatsoever!!!!!
just play it by ear.. and never presume anything.......and enjoy the company if nothing else.....
i am one of those that like to get to know people first.... but there is no right or wrong way to go about it.........
sean xxxxxxxxxxx

Spot on!!

5 Apr 2006

come round anytime hisnhers lol

no time limits.........................just let me know when duck :lol:
i expect nothing from you so all i get will be a bonus :lol:

5 Apr 2006

Expectations of 'a meet'?
I suppose the answer really depends on what you call 'a meet' and what you mean when using the term.
Personally I don't consider meeting up with someone/a couple for a drink and a chat to be 'a meet'. I would call it meeting socially - socialising - a pre-meet get together, going for a bevvie. I would not refer to this kind of meeting as 'a meet'. Or more to the point if I use the term 'a meet' I am not refering to any of the previously mentioned type meetings.
To me 'a meet' is where you have arranged some form of swinging/sexual activity prior to the date in question. I.E you are meeting for sex. Hence my expectations of 'a meet' woud be damn fine horny sex (within the boundaries previously defined by all parties).