expectations

11 Jul 2006

has anyone noticed that when going to a club, every couple/person there has their own rules and expects everyone to immediately understand/know them.
Some examples from a club night i had (all on the same night)
1) sitting in the jacuzzi, couple sit next to me, woman on the otherside of the man. we start talking and seem to be hitting it off. after a while she starts playing with him and climbs on board, as i am watching, he turns to me and says, do you mind not watching.
2) sitting in the lounge, a couple walks in and starts chatting, she is more friendly than he. eventually she turns to him and says, can we take him (thats me) to a room, he says yes, off we go fun had by all!
3) sitting in the same lounge and another couple come in complaining that some bloke in the jacuzzi asked the husband if he could join in..... they said that was wrong you should always ask the woman about 20 minutes later another couple come in and basically have the same conversation in reverse confused

4) A woman on the bed in the round room is lying there playing with herself with a group of men watching, she has her eyes closed and none of the men make a move, after about 10 minutes she stops and leaves, she is heard to be complaining to her husband that the men were pratts in there because they didn't even join in.
Now don't get me wrong, i understand that everyone has their own rules, but perhaps some sort of signs would be better. I don't mean a signal, i mean an actual sign hanging around the neck of either member of the couple or both
example
1) you must ask my wife if you can join in, but only after she has spent 10 minutes sucking me off
2) you must ask my husbands permission to join in, but only after he is mounting me from behind
3) I (mrs) only kiss women, but don't go down on them
4) Neither of us is bisexual and will be very offended if you even suggest it!
you get my drift
you could even have them made with the logo of the club on them and pick them up at the door on the way in.....

11 Jul 2006

ummmm, it wasn't meant to be serious.
Can you imagine how ludicrous people would look with a sign on? where would they hang/stick it?? Don't answer that!

11 Jul 2006

"nobody said it would be easy"

11 Jul 2006

Have to agree......wearing signs is fucking ridiculous!.......

11 Jul 2006

Quote by jimbojetset
ummmm, it wasn't meant to be serious.
Can you imagine how ludicrous people would look with a sign on? where would they hang/stick it?? Don't answer that!

well your post sounded serious......personally i think your worrying for nothing!

11 Jul 2006

I have real troubles understanding rules sometimes, so I personally would actually find it very useful if everyone could wear a sandwich board with their rules on.
It might spoil my view of certain things though!
biggrin

11 Jul 2006

I saw a lorry driver years ago with at a well-known Dogging site in Surrey with a sign in his window saying 'COUPLES ONLY' ... you get what you ask for in this world I guess, although I think it was more to keep boys like me away :rascal:

11 Jul 2006

Quote by da69ve
ummmm, it wasn't meant to be serious.
Can you imagine how ludicrous people would look with a sign on? where would they hang/stick it?? Don't answer that!

well your post sounded serious......personally i think your worrying for nothing!
Seriously... wow, somebody thought that those signs were serious? It was tongue in cheek. As for worrying about it, i don't i find it more amusing than anything. People always assume everyone knows what they mean.... a bit like my post. I assumed people would see it as tongue in cheek and obviously some didn't
Although the sandwhich board idea does have some merit as they are easier to clean off and you can use bigger print for those who forgot their glasses (that was tongue in cheek btw)

11 Jul 2006

Quote by Bloke2005
I saw a lorry driver years ago with at a well-known Dogging site in Surrey with a sign in his window saying 'COUPLES ONLY' ... you get what you ask for in this world I guess, although I think it was more to keep boys like me away :rascal:

see what i mean, he needed to be much more specific, makes the sandwhich board idea seem even better now!
lol

11 Jul 2006

humour is lost when it has to be explained.
Think about it.
Where would you hang the sign?
How big would it have to be?
How big a twat would you look walking around a club in your towl with a sign around your neck?
Would you wear it in the jacuzzi or leave it on the side
in a dark room would it need to be lit up?
putting the club logo on it????
I foolishly assumed that it was too ridiculous to be taken seriously
Mike, i am ok with you not getting it. It wasn't meant to be serious. Please don't make it that way.

11 Jul 2006

Quote by mike48
has anyone noticed that when going to a club, every couple/person there has their own rules and expects everyone to immediately understand/know them.
Some examples from a club night i had (all on the same night)
1) sitting in the jacuzzi, couple sit next to me, woman on the otherside of the man. we start talking and seem to be hitting it off. after a while she starts playing with him and climbs on board, as i am watching, he turns to me and says, do you mind not watching.
2) sitting in the lounge, a couple walks in and starts chatting, she is more friendly than he. eventually she turns to him and says, can we take him (thats me) to a room, he says yes, off we go fun had by all!
3) sitting in the same lounge and another couple come in complaining that some bloke in the jacuzzi asked the husband if he could join in..... they said that was wrong you should always ask the woman about 20 minutes later another couple come in and basically have the same conversation in reverse
4) A woman on the bed in the round room is lying there playing with herself with a group of men watching, she has her eyes closed and none of the men make a move, after about 10 minutes she stops and leaves, she is heard to be complaining to her husband that the men were pratts in there because they didn't even join in.
Now don't get me wrong, i understand that everyone has their own rules, but perhaps some sort of signs would be better. I don't mean a signal, i mean an actual sign hanging around the neck of either member of the couple or both
example
1) you must ask my wife if you can join in, but only after she has spent 10 minutes sucking me off
2) you must ask my husbands permission to join in, but only after he is mounting me from behind
3) I (mrs) only kiss women, but don't go down on them
4) Neither of us is bisexual and will be very offended if you even suggest it!
you get my drift
you could even have them made with the logo of the club on them and pick them up at the door on the way in.....

Tongue in cheek ??? where dunno

I think he meant the last paragraph Mike rolleyes

Good post jimbo, It can be a bit of a minefield that guessing game. Much easier when people just communicate eh?

11 Jul 2006

communication is a marvelous idea, we should all learn how to put it into practice one day!
biggrin

11 Jul 2006

Quote by jimbojetset
communication is a marvelous idea, we should all learn how to put it into practice one day!

You do realise that it'll never catch on dont you?

11 Jul 2006

speaking of communicating, mrs laird has a cracking arse btw! or perhaps, mrs laird has lovely buns, or, that is the finest tush i have seen in many years, or, i could ogle that bottom for days etc! I need to work on communicating my seduction technique i fear!

11 Jul 2006

Quote by the_Laird
communication is a marvelous idea, we should all learn how to put it into practice one day!

You do realise that it'll never catch on dont you?
:giggle:
Probably true! Damn.... and there was me holding out hope!

11 Jul 2006

Quote by jimbojetset
speaking of communicating, mrs laird has a cracking arse btw! or perhaps, mrs laird has lovely buns, or, that is the finest tush i have seen in many years, or, i could ogle that bottom for days etc! I need to work on communicating my seduction technique i fear!

And where did the 'arse compliments' idea come from pray tell?
Mr Laird's ain't bad either... lol

11 Jul 2006

I think he meant the last paragraph Mike

ah . . . so . . . . you seem to be suggesting that jimbo wasn't being entirely serious in that last bit then? lol

;)
jimbo, it surely can be a bloody minefield at times. i find the best strategy is just to talk to people and ask 'em. strangely, you do find some people who haven't quite sussed that one out yet? confused

:lol: ;)
neil x x x ;)

11 Jul 2006

Quote by jimbojetset
has anyone noticed that when going to a club, every couple/person there has their own rules and expects everyone to immediately understand/know them.
Some examples from a club night i had (all on the same night)
1) sitting in the jacuzzi, couple sit next to me, woman on the otherside of the man. we start talking and seem to be hitting it off. after a while she starts playing with him and climbs on board, as i am watching, he turns to me and says, do you mind not watching.
2) sitting in the lounge, a couple walks in and starts chatting, she is more friendly than he. eventually she turns to him and says, can we take him (thats me) to a room, he says yes, off we go fun had by all!
3) sitting in the same lounge and another couple come in complaining that some bloke in the jacuzzi asked the husband if he could join in..... they said that was wrong you should always ask the woman about 20 minutes later another couple come in and basically have the same conversation in reverse
4) A woman on the bed in the round room is lying there playing with herself with a group of men watching, she has her eyes closed and none of the men make a move, after about 10 minutes she stops and leaves, she is heard to be complaining to her husband that the men were pratts in there because they didn't even join in.
Now don't get me wrong, i understand that everyone has their own rules, but perhaps some sort of signs would be better. I don't mean a signal, i mean an actual sign hanging around the neck of either member of the couple or both
example
1) you must ask my wife if you can join in, but only after she has spent 10 minutes sucking me off
2) you must ask my husbands permission to join in, but only after he is mounting me from behind
3) I (mrs) only kiss women, but don't go down on them
4) Neither of us is bisexual and will be very offended if you even suggest it!
you get my drift
you could even have them made with the logo of the club on them and pick them up at the door on the way in.....

That would be Partners in Bury then I guess??
I understand your dilemma. We play with single guys occasionally and have our own routine for selecting. You have to remember that it can be a bit unsettling for the male part of a couple no matter how experienced the couple are when it comes to involving another guy.
We tend to choose guys who are not embarrassed to display their hard on, but by the same token do not stand (or sit) wanking all the time. Mrs Hot likes a nice extra cock to play with from time to time but selecting the right one is as difficult for us as it may be for you to read the signals.
My only advice to you would be to display your wares without wanking and make it available to be touched (or whatever) without sticking it in the womans face. If you are close up to the action, but not involved - some horny (not dirty) words of encouragement go a long way.
We were in the jacuzzi at Partners a few weeks ago and a good looking 30 something guy was sat there when we started on each other but he just sat there looking anywhere but at what we were doing. Anyway, we gave up in the end and got out - he got out shortly after sporting a nice juicy cock which he has kept hidden whilst in the jacuzzi - shame. He then spent the rest of the evening with the 'pack' of guys hunting for action.
I know that not everyone is the same, but certainly for us we prefer 'chance' encounters as opposed to performing for and selecting from a crowd.
One other thing - we find some single guys have cock hang ups and as a results miss out on dp's and the like - don't be shy - if you are with a couple go with the flow - when we have threesomes with another guy it is all for the womans pleasure and stiffly avoiding contact between guys just does not feel right.

11 Jul 2006

Quote by neilinleeds
I think he meant the last paragraph Mike

ah . . . so . . . . you seem to be suggesting that jimbo wasn't being entirely serious in that last bit then? lol

;)
jimbo, it surely can be a bloody minefield at times. i find the best strategy is just to talk to people and ask 'em. strangely, you do find some people who haven't quite sussed that one out yet? confused

:lol: ;)
neil x x x ;)
I agree except..... there are couples who will only approach and not be approached!
anyway, if you don't take the whole process of swinging with a sense of humour then why do it? I have also found that i have the best chats with people who aren't sexually interested in single blokes!

11 Jul 2006

yeah i know. clubs can be very tricky to work out at times cos everyone has their own ideas of what is and isn't an appropriate way forward. kinda why i only go clubbing when there's a good group of us that all know eachother. makes it much easier.
if someone's gonna get offended though just cos i approach them, rather than waiting for them to approach me, or speak to the bloke before the fem, or to the fem before the bloke, or whatever else, i generally think if i've done everything right as i see it, according to my rules, well we ain't a match anyways, so no worries, see you later? it can be quite instructive! ;)
neil x x x ;)

11 Jul 2006

http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/members/view-photo.html?id=0000334483
and you thought i wasn't serious lmao

11 Jul 2006

I kind of find that half the fun of the whole club experience is the 'working out how to approach people' bit - whether I'm feeling all confident and taking the 'right you, you're coming with me' approach, or whether I'm a bit subtler and more flirtatious, I rather enjoy the bit between spotting someone you fancy, and actually getting to shag them. I don't really get off on the whole 'sex with strangers' thing anyway, so on the (very!) rare occasions I play at clubs with people I don't already know, I like to spend some time chatting and flirting - it gives you a bit more time to work out who they are, what they're like, what their rules are going to be.
And as Neil says, anyone who's offended by your approach - assuming your approach is well-mannered - is probably not worth your time anyway. People surely realise that their own particular rules aren't obvious to everyone unless they're told about them - if they're reasonable people, they'd not be offended by a polite inquiry!
(loving the idea of the signs BTW.... I may design myself one for next time, 'Single Bi Fem, ask before touching, compliments gratefully received, cocks in face less so.' biggrin

)

11 Jul 2006

Quote by makingcocoa
(loving the idea of the signs BTW.... I may design myself one for next time, 'Single Bi Fem, ask before touching, compliments gratefully received, cocks in face less so.' )

I like that!
Hmmmm mine would have to be:
'Bi Fem, hears a lot yet understands little, bites when cornered but turns to mush when cuddled!'
:D

11 Jul 2006

i could have "large ego, small cock no idea what he's doing"
what do you think?

11 Jul 2006

Who says itâ€™s just the clubs?? Its the same all round surely, meet a couple and even discuss limits then one or the other always either go too far or not far enough.... but thatâ€™s the fun surely.... finding out etc. If it were all so simple and straight cut it would be boring! Personally I love the little mysteries of it all..
Mike xx

12 Jul 2006

'Glitter Body Signs'
No more confused moments, say what you want and get what you want,
With colourful

Glitter Body Signs

12 Jul 2006

Quote by jimbojetset
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/members/view-photo.html?id=0000334483
and you thought i wasn't serious lmao

:jagsatwork: Are we allowed to do that?
dunno

12 Jul 2006

Quote by Kiss_Me
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/members/view-photo.html?id=0000334483
and you thought i wasn't serious lmao

:jagsatwork: Are we allowed to do that?
dunno

nope - so it's gone.
Mal

12 Jul 2006

Quote by Mal
nope - so it's gone.
Mal

Hey... where was the wink

after your name? cool

12 Jul 2006

Quote by makingcocoa
....compliments gratefully received, cocks in face less so.' )

:doh: thats where i went wrong
*makes note,
1. say 'cracking tits Miss Cocoa'
2. cock in face.
not other way round redface