Secondly the apology. To all of you who have contacted me to offer the hand of friendship, only to have me refuse in my own inimitable way by saying "I'm fine" - I apologise. Friends can only be friends when you let them, and I have refused all offers of help and friendship thinking that I could struggle through this on my own. I had started to make good friendships on here, but me being me, shut everyone out of my life because I felt it was the right thing to do. Also, in my own misery I neglected to realise that other people out there have feelings too. I was a complete shit, and I apologise.
Thirdly the request. In attempting to re-join the land of the living, I have in the past few days put my name forward for a couple of munches. The first one being the Yorkshire mini munch. I'm not feeling on top of the world at the moment but need to start getting out and about and meeting people. If, at the munch, I disappear off outside for a minute or two, it's not because I'm bored, it's not because I'm a miserable moo, it's just that I think it's going to be a bit difficult for me just getting the hang of being around people again, joining in the chat etc, and it maybe that I need to withdraw for a minute or two, take a couple of deep breaths and regain my composure. Confidence is wonderful when you have it, but when you've lost it and are trying to get it back again, it takes a while. Bear with me please. Try not to see it as me being aloof, it's just me trying to cope.
Lastly, I want to say thankyou. To the person who has devoted spare time to me recently I want you to know that although I hurt, I will in time come to realise that you were a true friend. I appreciate your kindness and sensitivity when I asked for the impossible, and one day, maybe, I will be able to smile at the memories.
Looking forward (with some trepidation) to meeting new friends and repairing past friendships
Jules
