feedback

25 Jul 2008

Quote by Lissa
Of course, no-one would dream of lying out of pique, or because of rejection, would they? Or, in extreme cases, give bad feedback for a meet that never existed.

Oh no, people would never do anything like that, they would never tell lies just to (in their eyes) get more meets. No everyone is honest, trustworthy and would never do anything so underhand - or would they?
I couldnt agree with you more Lissa :thumbup:
We do use a site where verification is allowed and yes, we do have verification on our profile, but for me, that site is 'hardcore' with no community atmosphere, it is purely an 'arrange-a-shag' site. Wereas here I find I can actually enjoy the company of fellow swingers. I have always said that if this site introduced verification, I for one, would be off. It is too open to abuse and is totally meaningless. It proves nothing and does not guarantee anything. In other words, it is not worth the effort. Or in Missy's words

Blow that for a lark

25 Jul 2008

Quote by duncanlondon
People seem to be worried that members of a site are going to get bad or incorrect publicity. I think there are plenty of laws about slander and defamation of character to protect against such a thing. Such laws are held equally on web sites, by the operators. Like this one.
As I said before it would be no good in publicising a crap meeting. So few would do this even if it was allowed. Therefore people would verify all those with whom they had a decent encounter, and forget about the crap events.
So I think that the current 'feelings' about this are again getting a little bit over the top.

No, some people have already said that only good feedback could be posted, giving a false impression. Either way you look at it, it's not really indicative of anything is it?

25 Jul 2008

Quote by winchwench
I actually think verifications are not a bad thing. As long as the person being verified has the final work, ie decision on if it gets displayed or not and can delete at will. There is another site where this is the case and it works well.
Verifications can be the reason between deciding to meet someone or not, or inviting to a party or not. If you can see someone has met one or two people and everyone is happy, it is a good form of reassurance, even though you can't go by that alone.
Having said that, when you see people with pages of verifications that can be off putting too, so it's everything in moderation. Choose the ones to keep wisely and remain in control.

So if I had 5 verifications, four of them could say "Timewaster- didn't show up" and one could say "great meet, " I would just show the favourable one, which would then give an utterly misleading view. dunno

That to me sounds much worse than no verification.
Not necessarily, as someone has already said the 'timewaster' ones often don't give both sides of the explanation so don't actually serve to give a real over view. Also, if someone is that bad then they would not get many verifications that were favourable and after a time, it would be noted that if dated may have expired as a usuable acknowledgment?
It's not about popularity. I personally don't use every verification I get, but the ones that to me show some insight to who I am and show that the person geniunly enjoyed my company. If they have put time and thought into it then I cherish the words and feel honoured to recieve them. However, if someone just writes, met as agreed. I don't bother with it.
You can always use it as a base for the start of a conversation. One person I had spoken to had 2 verifications turn up on his profile from the same person that were conflicting. One said they had met and the other said they had not met but talked. It was a bit puzzling, so I asked him what it was about and we chatted about it. So, like all things you use them as a guideline, but not stake your opinion by them alone.

25 Jul 2008

Takes nothing away from the fact that if you can pick & choose the verifications you show, it renders the whole thing meaningless.
And as for the volume/ time expiry argument, someone who can only manage one or two meets a year could be just as genuine as a three times a week swinger.

25 Jul 2008

Quote by winchwench
Takes nothing away from the fact that if you can pick & choose the verifications you show, it renders the whole thing meaningless.
And as for the volume/ time expiry argument, someone who can only manage one or two meets a year could be just as genuine as a three times a week swinger.

And could then be a 'look at me, I'm great' catalogue.
But are you greater than all the other 'great' profiles? Yeah right you are!
Verification has been proved to be a total anathema to several groups of very astute and intelligent people on here that, I for one, am very content that it will never happen on this site.
Besides what is it aiming to achieve? A short-cut to finding out whether someone is genuine or not? There are no short-cuts - you cannot beat a well tempered existence on the Forum here to establish whether someone is worth the chance of meeting (apart from munches and socials of course!). It's surprising how well you can get to know someone here - and then act accordingly.
.

25 Jul 2008

Quote by winchwench
Takes nothing away from the fact that if you can pick & choose the verifications you show, it renders the whole thing meaningless.
And as for the volume/ time expiry argument, someone who can only manage one or two meets a year could be just as genuine as a three times a week swinger.

I find that statement quite insulting. Any verification that is written is valid and it does have meaning between the people concerned. Why does the person who gets the verification have the choice of adding it or not? Because some people don't think before the type. I just got one which was actually very nice and heart warming, but... he put my christian name in it and for that reason I have not added it. People unwittingly give away private information and it would be a minefield for the site to sort out every indescretion.
Negative comments don't have to be written about someone to show they are not worth meeting, the lack of verifications or thought out comments would speak for themselves.
Reference time scales. yes you are right, not everyone gets to meet regularly and I on one site have got a handful of verifications and I think not one of the guys I met is a member of the site any more lol. It looks like I've killed them all off (maybe I have) but really, who cares? It's not that important, it's just something that shows I've made friends and had some fun on the way and I am happy to be associated with those people.
Word of mouth usually works pretty quickly with someone who is a time waster or unsavoury character anyway.
I'm not sure why there is so much ill feeling about them. Not everyone has the time or the inclination to go on the chat sites and forums to see who is well known and who isn't, it's just another means of assessment and it's interesting to see what people have thought previously to you getting to talk to someone.

25 Jul 2008

Quote by venus68
Takes nothing away from the fact that if you can pick & choose the verifications you show, it renders the whole thing meaningless.
And as for the volume/ time expiry argument, someone who can only manage one or two meets a year could be just as genuine as a three times a week swinger.

I find that statement quite insulting. Any verification that is written is valid and it does have meaning between the people concerned.
Methinks you misunderstood. WW was taking about the verification system itself, not individual verifications.
The point being that if the verification system is either inaccurate or incomplete then it's not worth the electrons used to write it. E.g. If a person/couple meet 10 others and only 2 bother to leave a comment then it's not truly representative of the fact that person/couple showed up 10 times. Whereas another couple could have had 5 meets and 4 were commented on. That leaves prospective swingers thinking that person A isn't as reliable as person B, yet the opposite is true.
So either everyone comments on a meet or no-one does. Anything in between is a waste of time as it's neither accurate nor representative.

25 Jul 2008

Quote by venus68
Takes nothing away from the fact that if you can pick & choose the verifications you show, it renders the whole thing meaningless.
And as for the volume/ time expiry argument, someone who can only manage one or two meets a year could be just as genuine as a three times a week swinger.

I find that statement quite insulting. No idea why, TBH. It wasn't personal. Surely you can see that the ability to choose to show only the good bits, it becomes a vehicle for misleading people. Worse than not having that vehicle in the first place. A film review which states "Biggest hit of the year" when it was meant to say "Biggest pile of Shit of the year" is misleading, is it not? Any verification that is written is valid and it does have meaning between the people concerned. Quite. It could mean they've colluded to make eachother look better. You scratch my back....Why does the person who gets the verification have the choice of adding it or not? Because some people don't think before the type. I just got one which was actually very nice and heart warming, but... he put my christian name in it and for that reason I have not added it. People unwittingly give away private information and it would be a minefield for the site to sort out every indescretion. Another reason not to do it then?
Negative comments don't have to be written about someone to show they are not worth meeting, the lack of verifications or thought out comments would speak for themselves. Back to my earlier point. This means that the infrequent meeters, along with those who choose to be discrete, are then disadvantaged by comparison.
Reference time scales. yes you are right, not everyone gets to meet regularly and I on one site have got a handful of verifications and I think not one of the guys I met is a member of the site any more lol. It looks like I've killed them all off (maybe I have) but really, who cares? It's not that important, it's just something that shows I've made friends and had some fun on the way and I am happy to be associated with those people.
Word of mouth usually works pretty quickly with someone who is a time waster or unsavoury character anyway. So much less complicated, don't you think?
I'm not sure why there is so much ill feeling about them. Not everyone has the time or the inclination to go on the chat sites and forums to see who is well known and who isn't, It's not about being well known. A well known member is just as capable of fuckwittery as a newbie. It's about getting to know someone for yourself. it's just another means of assessment and it's interesting to see what people have thought previously to you getting to talk to someone.
But where it exists, shouldn't it be strictly for verification of credentials? Not a popularity contest, or an ego flattering arena?

25 Jul 2008

We are going to show ourselves in the best way we think possible are we not?
After all you would not be impressed by someone who turned up looking crap, behaved crap and went on to offer crap sex.
So few people will go around with the 'warts and all' philosophy of meeting people, especially in a scene where first impressions often have a lot of power.
So the idea that by attempting to create a good impression is really deceiving; is somehow a bit harsh and unsporting.

25 Jul 2008

Quote by duncanlondon
We are going to show ourselves in the best way we think possible are we not?
After all you would not be impressed by someone who turned up looking crap, behaved crap and went on to offer crap sex.

So few people will go around with the 'warts and all' philosophy of meeting people, especially in a scene where first impressions often have a lot of power.
So the idea that by attempting to create a good impression is really deceiving; is somehow a bit harsh and unsporting.

The thing is though, some first meets I've had have involved sex that wasn't great. Both on my part and the other person. Nerves. Sexual chemistry perhaps not as there as we'd hoped. Feeling tired.
Not that either they or I planned to "offer crap sex" as you put it. It just happened. Now, would I get a crap report because of that? Would I have to give them a crap report?
dunno

Bloody hope not. On several occasions I have arranged a second meet and the sex has gone on to be faaaaaar from crap. Had I been given or given out a mediocre report, that second meet probably wouldn't have happened...

25 Jul 2008

Absolutely. Most of my encounters don't really get into shape until 2 or 3 meetings.
But its is never that bad, that people will write you off as useless, when its just as likely they felt the same way to. The swinging world would come to a grinding halt.
Also if one door closes another opens, there is always the cleanup woman, the rebounder, the partners with low sex drives and demands etc.

25 Jul 2008

Quote by venus68
I actually think verifications are not a bad thing. As long as the person being verified has the final work, ie decision on if it gets displayed or not and can delete at will. There is another site where this is the case and it works well.
Verifications can be the reason between deciding to meet someone or not, or inviting to a party or not. If you can see someone has met one or two people and everyone is happy, it is a good form of reassurance, even though you can't go by that alone.
Having said that, when you see people with pages of verifications that can be off putting too, so it's everything in moderation. Choose the ones to keep wisely and remain in control.

Very true indeed.
We are also on another site that does have a feedback system should people want to use it.
I dont want to see " yeah great fuck, huge cock , well worth a meet " kind of comment. lol

That is not the issue or the comment we are looking for in a meet. We just want to see a comment like " nice people / person, turned up as arranged ".
That way we know they turn up and are less likely to be a timewaster if they have a couple of comments like that.
I feel people are over reacting in what people can say about us we know no matter what others say that there is a large timewaster issue in the swinging scene. If on the other site a guy contacts us with say 5 feedbacks only saying that he turned up, then for us there is a much larger possibilty that he will turn up, as opposed to hoping that someone will turn up, and not blow us out like has happened.
It has worked for us and others we have met. So it does work but obviously it is not for everyone. cool

25 Jul 2008

flying gives me feedback............. rolleyes

25 Jul 2008

If someone chooses not to give feedback it would generally be because it is of a neutral quality, ie not outstanding and not dismall. For that reason those feedbacks are not generally missed as they wouldn't tell you a lot anyway.
If you have read verifications from other sites you may notice quite often you will have one that has been written by a well known person who has met them on several occassions before writing the verification. The wonderful thing is about giving it, you are the one who determins when the time is right or if it is indeed deserved.
It is not about popularity or ego massaging, I'm really not sure where that idea is coming from? I think perhaps this is someones pre-conception and not based on reality. For men especially it can be the difference between getting a meet at all. Myself as a female I don't really need them and have given verifications to people I feel really should be known for the good company they are, hoping it will make their swinging time easier and more prosperous.
I admit that if and when I recieve good feedback I do like it, I do appreciate it as it is always nice to know that you have made someone happy or fulfilled their expectations, beyond that? No... I'm a woman I don't NEED verification, I just have to show my tits! Which is exactly my point, for me it has more meaning than a display on cam in the chat room for instance. To me that is the ego rearing it's head and asking for the world (or chat room) to watch you and take notice. Not really my thing.

26 Jul 2008

Quote by winchwench
But the downside to that is the discrete people end up looking like timewasters next to "Miss_I_fuck_anyone_69" with 47 positive feedbacks, do they not?

Only to those who believe feedback is the only important thing rather than just one indicator that may help a decision whether to try and arrange a meet. Some people just want to get as many notches on their bedpost as possible, and that's their choice. For others, including me, it's about getting on with someone at a social level before thinking of shagging at all. Neither is wrong or right except for the individuals themselves.
Unfortunately your comment above seems to suggest that limiting others freedom to show feedback (were it possible) would be ok because you think it may make you look bad in comparison as you wouldn't want to use a feedback system. A good feedback system would allow everyone to show or not show feedback as they choose, and to make it public or private if they choose to have it at all.

26 Jul 2008

Quote by venus68
If someone chooses not to give feedback it would generally be because it is of a neutral quality, ie not outstanding and not dismall. For that reason those feedbacks are not generally missed as they wouldn't tell you a lot anyway.
If you have read verifications from other sites you may notice quite often you will have one that has been written by a well known person who has met them on several occassions before writing the verification. The wonderful thing is about giving it, you are the one who determins when the time is right or if it is indeed deserved.
It is not about popularity or ego massaging, I'm really not sure where that idea is coming from? I think perhaps this is someones pre-conception and not based on reality. For men especially it can be the difference between getting a meet at all. Myself as a female I don't really need them and have given verifications to people I feel really should be known for the good company they are, hoping it will make their swinging time easier and more prosperous.
I admit that if and when I recieve good feedback I do like it, I do appreciate it as it is always nice to know that you have made someone happy or fulfilled their expectations, beyond that? No... I'm a woman I don't NEED verification, I just have to show my tits! Which is exactly my point, for me it has more meaning than a display on cam in the chat room for instance. To me that is the ego rearing it's head and asking for the world (or chat room) to watch you and take notice. Not really my thing.

I'm actually now not quite sure whether you are advocating verification or not from this post. Your point is not very clear to me. P'raps I'm being a bit thick (a bit of auto-verification for all the observant ones there! wink

)
What really startles me is the bits in bold. I'm assuming that as you said it twice you are not tongue in cheek in making this point.
I have encountered some females in the swinging scene that, quite frankly, I would avoid at all costs. Having said that I am satisfied that I have found that out for myself and not relied on other people's subjective opinion.
The converse could be true also. I have some really good friends here, whom I may have avoided on the strength of someone else's subjective judgement. I am eternally thankful that has not happened.
I suppose if you're after a quick shag then a quality sticker might be useful but I wouldn't know about that because I want to know whom I'm shagging.
Diff'rent strokes, I guess.
.

26 Jul 2008

Quote by duncanlondon
We are going to show ourselves in the best way we think possible are we not?
After all you would not be impressed by someone who turned up looking crap, behaved crap and went on to offer crap sex.
So few people will go around with the 'warts and all' philosophy of meeting people, especially in a scene where first impressions often have a lot of power.
So the idea that by attempting to create a good impression is really deceiving; is somehow a bit harsh and unsporting.

The thing is, which of us is qualified to pass comment or judge someone else? We all have different values, different styles. It's not for anyone to say that someone else is crap at sex.
A verification system that shows such comments is inherently wrong and is open to abuse. All moderators can do is moderate the language used. They weren't at the event so can't say if the comments are correct or not.
If, and only if, a verification system was in place it should only contain non-personal information. e.g. Showed up, was late, brought the cast of Cats with them etc.
Anything where one person pronounces judgement on another in something that is meant to be a leisure activity is sucking the life, relaxation and pleasure out of it and turning it into a competition.

26 Jul 2008

Quote by westerross
(Snip for brevity}
Verification has been proved to be a total anathema to several groups of very astute and intelligent people on here that, I for one, am very content that it will never happen on this site.

And several groups of equally astute and intelligent people hold a different view. It won't happen here under the current ownership as has been pointed out previously, but a discussion of the merits or lack thereof is useful as an indicator of how people think.

Quote by westerross
Besides what is it aiming to achieve? A short-cut to finding out whether someone is genuine or not? There are no short-cuts - you cannot beat a well tempered existence on the Forum here to establish whether someone is worth the chance of meeting (apart from munches and socials of course!).

What part of it being one indicator that may help make a decision are you having trouble understanding? No one has said it would be a foolproof, one-hit way to guarantee a great meet. It is one way of giving or getting information that is no more or less reliable than any other, short of actually meeting someone.

Quote by westerross
It's surprising how well you can get to know someone here - and then act accordingly.
.

So very true!

26 Jul 2008

Quote by venus68
If someone chooses not to give feedback it would generally be because it is of a neutral quality, ie not outstanding and not dismall. For that reason those feedbacks are not generally missed as they wouldn't tell you a lot anyway.
If you have read verifications from other sites you may notice quite often you will have one that has been written by a well known person who has met them on several occassions before writing the verification. The wonderful thing is about giving it, you are the one who determins when the time is right or if it is indeed deserved.
It is not about popularity or ego massaging, I'm really not sure where that idea is coming from? I think perhaps this is someones pre-conception and not based on reality. For men especially it can be the difference between getting a meet at all. Myself as a female I don't really need them and have given verifications to people I feel really should be known for the good company they are, hoping it will make their swinging time easier and more prosperous.
I admit that if and when I recieve good feedback I do like it, I do appreciate it as it is always nice to know that you have made someone happy or fulfilled their expectations, beyond that? No... I'm a woman I don't NEED verification, I just have to show my tits! Which is exactly my point, for me it has more meaning than a display on cam in the chat room for instance. To me that is the ego rearing it's head and asking for the world (or chat room) to watch you and take notice. Not really my thing.

The 1st paragraph is a awful assumption to make, and you may be way off the mark with a lot of people with that generalisation.... I know a fair few people, myself included, that won't leave feedback for other reasons, one of the main ones being that they have no intention of telling the world who they have met and what they have gotten up to.... discretion is still alive and well
I have brought up the varifcation issue on other sites..... but as other people here have pointed out, there are 2 sides to every coin, but if people are allowed to pick the side that makes the look good, and disgard the side that makes them lood bad, then is that not giving people a true reflection of that person......
if you feel as a women that you don't need varifacation, then good for you.... if you are asking me if you having none or tens of references would make a difference to meet wanting to meet or not..... not a jot, I like to do backgroud reading, like to meet people at socials ect ect......but hey..maybe that is just me... wink

sean xxxxxxxxxxxxx

26 Jul 2008

Quote by Unc
What part of it being one indicator that may help make a decision are you having trouble understanding? No one has said it would be a foolproof, one-hit way to guarantee a great meet. It is one way of giving or getting information that is no more or less reliable than any other, short of actually meeting someone.
So very true!

Unc, apologies if it wasnt mean this way, but I do find your reply above very rude and downright condescending. As I said, you may not have meant it that way and I certainly hope you didnt, but that is definately how it reads.
Going back to the topic, and I will risk a slating for this, but my own personal opinion is that people who are pushing for verification are the ones who are willing to show the world they are indescrete and couldnt give a dam about other peoples privacy. I thought descretion and trust was one of the main requirements for swingers, but it seems that I must have been wrong, and some people seem to think it is ok to brag about what they have done. confused

However, maybe verification is a good thing, at least then the people who would much rather keep their sex lives private can see which people not to touch with a barge poll. rolleyes

26 Jul 2008

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple

What part of it being one indicator that may help make a decision are you having trouble understanding? No one has said it would be a foolproof, one-hit way to guarantee a great meet. It is one way of giving or getting information that is no more or less reliable than any other, short of actually meeting someone.
So very true!

Unc, apologies if it wasnt mean this way, but I do find your reply above very rude and downright condescending. As I said, you may not have meant it that way and I certainly hope you didnt, but that is definately how it reads.
I found it frustrating that, despite several comments explaining what feedback is meant to achieve, an opinion was given as fact in a condescending manner. I don't believe my response was either rude, or more condescending than the comment it referred to, which you chose not to quote. You also for some reason did quote a comment completely out of context as it referred to another point the OP had made.

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Going back to the topic, and I will risk a slating for this, but my own personal opinion is that people who are pushing for verification are the ones who are willing to show the world they are indescrete and couldnt give a dam about other peoples privacy. I thought descretion and trust was one of the main requirements for swingers, but it seems that I must have been wrong, and some people seem to think it is ok to brag about what they have done.
However, maybe verification is a good thing, at least then the people who would much rather keep their sex lives private can see which people not to touch with a barge poll.

Why is it that people make such sweeping assumptions? As far as I can see no-one is 'pushing for verification', they are simply discussing the pros and cons of feedback systems and whether they believe they have any value. To suggest that the only reason for wanting feedback is to 'brag' or be 'indescrete' is as ridiculous as saying the only reason anyone would object to feedback is if they have something to hide!
I wouldn't support any feedback system that didn't allow those who chose not to use it to have that freedom. I wouldn't support any feedback system that did not have the option of being private for invited people only. I believe that people should have as much personal choice as possible with the proviso that their choices don't adversely affect others. Unfortunately there are far too many people here, as in all aspects of life, who seek to limit other peoples choices based on their own preferences, beliefs and assumptions.

26 Jul 2008

Quote by Unc
Why is it that people make such sweeping assumptions? As far as I can see no-one is 'pushing for verification', they are simply discussing the pros and cons of feedback systems and whether they believe they have any value. To suggest that the only reason for wanting feedback is to 'brag' or be 'indescrete' is as ridiculous as saying the only reason anyone would object to feedback is if they have something to hide!

People are pushing for it, or the thread would not have been started asking if the site could have it, or perhaps I have read the first post wrong and the OP is saying what a relief it is to be on a site that doesnt have such 'silly' (and yes, you can now have a dig over that as well) systems where people can only get a shag if they have three stars or more, against their profile.
Also, my statement was not ridiculas, it was my opinion. I dont say that anything you have said is ridiculous. I have conducted a grown up discussion without having personal digs at you, and I do not resort to throwing insults or being rude to people.
If a verification system is not to show off who you've had sex with, then what is it for? It only says that you were genuine or turned up for one meet (or how many verifications you allowed to be seen/held on yor profile). It proves nothing. It doesn prove if you will turn up to the next. It doesnt help any new swingers who have not got round to shagging half the site, but then again, maybe they are not genuine unless they have the 'verification' thing against their names. Perhaps we should do what I have seen on another site where you cant go to a social or a munch unless you have been verified! Now that would be a great idea wouldnt it, and really welcoming for any new members.

Quote by Unc
I wouldn't support any feedback system that didn't allow those who chose not to use it to have that freedom. I wouldn't support any feedback system that did not have the option of being private for invited people only. I believe that people should have as much personal choice as possible with the proviso that their choices don't adversely affect others. Unfortunately there are far too many people here, as in all aspects of life, who seek to limit other peoples choices based on their own preferences, beliefs and assumptions.

Right, so I decide I dont want to be part of this verification thing, and dont have any on my profile. So what does that tell the people who are appear to be obessed with 'guarantees' to their swinging partners? It doesn't say this person doesnt want their private lives flashing all over the place, it says this person is not/cannot be verified. So just because some people want to change the site from a system which has worked for over 4 years, then the ones who dont want to be 'limited by other peoples choices, based on their own preferences, beliefs and assumptions' (your words) the rest of us have to put up with it? If people were so desperate for verification, why not just join a site which has it, rather than try and change this one?
This site has never had any verification system and has still managed to become as big as it is. As the saying goes, if it aint broke, dont fix it.

26 Jul 2008

there is still choice. There are sites with feedback. I use them too. I don't actually verify anyone or accept verification. Yet I use sites with verification systems.

26 Jul 2008

Quote by splendid_
there is still choice. There are sites with feedback. I use them too. I don't actually verify anyone or accept verification. Yet I use sites with verification systems.

Can you verify that then? :P

26 Jul 2008

Quote by Unc

But the downside to that is the discrete people end up looking like timewasters next to "Miss_I_fuck_anyone_69" with 47 positive feedbacks, do they not?

Only to those who believe feedback is the only important thing rather than just one indicator that may help a decision whether to try and arrange a meet. Some people just want to get as many notches on their bedpost as possible, and that's their choice. For others, including me, it's about getting on with someone at a social level before thinking of shagging at all. Neither is wrong or right except for the individuals themselves.
Unfortunately your comment above seems to suggest that limiting others freedom to show feedback (were it possible) would be ok because you think it may make you look bad in comparison as you wouldn't want to use a feedback system. A good feedback system would allow everyone to show or not show feedback as they choose, and to make it public or private if they choose to have it at all.
I have no desire to limit others freedom, Unc. There are enough sites which do have feedback to fulfil everyone's needs.
Up until recently, I was firmly on the fence on this one. Then I started to see all the potential pitfalls. It would seem to be far more trouble than it's worth.
As for worrying about me being made to look bad in comparison, you're way off the mark I'm afraid. I'm one of the people who would be least affected by verification. I advocate a level playing field for everyone, and am standing up for what I believe is right for the people it would almost inevitably hit badly.

26 Jul 2008

Quote by Peanut
there is still choice. There are sites with feedback. I use them too. I don't actually verify anyone or accept verification. Yet I use sites with verification systems.

Can you verify that then? :P
gonk rolleyes

26 Jul 2008

NWC Wrote:

Right, so I decide I dont want to be part of this verification thing, and dont have any on my profile. So what does that tell the people who are appear to be obessed with 'guarantees' to their swinging partners? It doesn't say this person doesnt want their private lives flashing all over the place, it says this person is not/cannot be verified. So just because some people want to change the site from a system which has worked for over 4 years, then the ones who dont want to be 'limited by other peoples choices, based on their own preferences, beliefs and assumptions' (your words) the rest of us have to put up with it? If people were so desperate for verification, why not just join a site which has it, rather than try and change this one?

If I'd seen that it would have saved me some bleedin bother! rolleyes

NWC, can ya pm me please next time you're about to write what I was trying to say :lol2:

26 Jul 2008

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple

Why is it that people make such sweeping assumptions? As far as I can see no-one is 'pushing for verification', they are simply discussing the pros and cons of feedback systems and whether they believe they have any value. To suggest that the only reason for wanting feedback is to 'brag' or be 'indescrete' is as ridiculous as saying the only reason anyone would object to feedback is if they have something to hide!

People are pushing for it, or the thread would not have been started asking if the site could have it, or perhaps I have read the first post wrong and the OP is saying what a relief it is to be on a site that doesnt have such 'silly' (and yes, you can now have a dig over that as well) systems where people can only get a shag if they have three stars or more, against their profile.
Also, my statement was not ridiculas, it was my opinion. I dont say that anything you have said is ridiculous. I have conducted a grown up discussion without having personal digs at you, and I do not resort to throwing insults or being rude to people.
If a verification system is not to show off who you've had sex with, then what is it for? It only says that you were genuine or turned up for one meet (or how many verifications you allowed to be seen/held on yor profile). It proves nothing. It doesn prove if you will turn up to the next. It doesnt help any new swingers who have not got round to shagging half the site, but then again, maybe they are not genuine unless they have the 'verification' thing against their names. Perhaps we should do what I have seen on another site where you cant go to a social or a munch unless you have been verified! Now that would be a great idea wouldnt it, and really welcoming for any new members.

Quote by Unc
I wouldn't support any feedback system that didn't allow those who chose not to use it to have that freedom. I wouldn't support any feedback system that did not have the option of being private for invited people only. I believe that people should have as much personal choice as possible with the proviso that their choices don't adversely affect others. Unfortunately there are far too many people here, as in all aspects of life, who seek to limit other peoples choices based on their own preferences, beliefs and assumptions.

Right, so I decide I dont want to be part of this verification thing, and dont have any on my profile. So what does that tell the people who are appear to be obessed with 'guarantees' to their swinging partners? It doesn't say this person doesnt want their private lives flashing all over the place, it says this person is not/cannot be verified. So just because some people want to change the site from a system which has worked for over 4 years, then the ones who dont want to be 'limited by other peoples choices, based on their own preferences, beliefs and assumptions' (your words) the rest of us have to put up with it? If people were so desperate for verification, why not just join a site which has it, rather than try and change this one?
This site has never had any verification system and has still managed to become as big as it is. As the saying goes, if it aint broke, dont fix it.
Sorry but we find that comment quite insulting.
We use LS have had a few meets and only have one feedback, and we have only given one back. We don't want to meet people who have loads of feedbacks. But a lot of feedbacks on LS just say " nice couple, turned up as arranged ". Does everyone shag others just because they show up? Because we certainly do not and we make that quite clear when we meet people.
I cannot understand people who dont want a feedback system, what their problem is really. :shock: If there was a feedback system on this site NOBODY has to use those who dont want it why moan about others who do want it? :shock: It is not compulsary to put feedback, if it was I could understand the strong feelings.
To be blunt there are loads of timewasters on this site and for us on LS if we see a profile with a couple of feedbacks where it says they turned up AS ARRANGED, there surely has to be some benefit to that.
I feel it is a silly comment to say people only want it for notches on their bedposts! We most certainly dont want it for that reason, and am sure nor do others we have met. It is purely to know that people have turned up for meets in the past. If people don't want it then they don't have to use it period.

26 Jul 2008

Quote by winchwench
NWC, can ya pm me please next time you're about to write what I was trying to say :lol2:

Sorry but I only pm verified members of the site and I can see from your photo that those are definately not genuine swingers knickers (they dont show any lady bits) bolt

26 Jul 2008

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple

NWC, can ya pm me please next time you're about to write what I was trying to say :lol2:

Sorry but I only pm verified members of the site and I can see from your photo that those are definately not genuine swingers knickers (they dont show any lady bits) bolt

Censored, I was! I need more freedom!
rotflmao

(They never flippin did anyway- just some wisps of hair rolleyes

)