Hiya
We are new to this, although enjoying every minute of looking, we are yet to take the plunge and think that same room (couples or fems) sticking with your partner is a good way to start - what do you recommend? We are worried about what sharing will do to the relationship....?
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First timers
Sex God
we started soft.. and quickly progressed to hard lol... the important thing is you keep talking about it, never do anything that one of you feels slightly unsure about, and always have a code word or action that one can express to the other if they are not happy about the way things are going. Enjoy 
Quote by xxdevil69
we started soft.. and quickly progressed to hard lol... the important thing is you keep talking about it, never do anything that one of you feels slightly unsure about, and always have a code word or action that one can express to the other if they are not happy about the way things are going. Enjoy
Very good advice...especially the code word...and don't change your rules during a meet, wait till you've disussed it in the cold light of day at home, there's always another time.
Sex God
the code word was what we came up with first but then realised we might get funny looks if we blurted it out halfway through an orgy!! Which is where the 'foot squeeze' came in! 
Quote by xxdevil69
the code word was what we came up with first but then realised we might get funny looks if we blurted it out halfway through an orgy!! Which is where the 'foot squeeze' came in!
We use "I'm just going for a wee."
If a wee is really needed it's "I'm going for a wee, I'm coming back."
The trouble with foot squeezing in a busy room is that you can never be sure just who squeezed your foot. :lol:
Quote by xxdevil69
we started soft.. and quickly progressed to hard lol... the important thing is you keep talking about it, never do anything that one of you feels slightly unsure about, and always have a code word or action that one can express to the other if they are not happy about the way things are going. Enjoy
How soft - what is soft in swinging?
Sex God
same room, advancing to a bit of girl on girl. Basically us women played with each other but then only with our own partners. :twisted:
Quote by northwest-cpl
Soft swinging can range from sharing a room but keeping completely to yourselves to playing with another couple but only having penetration with your own partner.
Is it normal for the women to be fearful and will she enjoy the girl on girl or do some women really have inhibitions? It turns her on when we wathc it on dvd but what about the real experiences?
Sex God
That can be difficult.. I felt like that about my partner being with another woman.. I loved the idea of him doing it but didn't know how I'd react when it actually came down to it. As far as the girl on girl.. I'd already had a couple of relationships with other women when I was younger so I knew it'd be ok. The only thing I can suggest is find a like-minded couple.. start with same room fun with the option of girl on girl then if she doesn't feel she can or wants to, there's no pressure. Both of you can say no to anything at anytime. And don't rush things. 
Quote by xxdevil69
That can be difficult.. I felt like that about my partner being with another woman.. I loved the idea of him doing it but didn't know how I'd react when it actually came down to it. As far as the girl on girl.. I'd already had a couple of relationships with other women when I was younger so I knew it'd be ok. The only thing I can suggest is find a like-minded couple.. start with same room fun with the option of girl on girl then if she doesn't feel she can or wants to, there's no pressure. Both of you can say no to anything at anytime. And don't rush things.
Thanks for your advice - I am certainly hearing all the right things. I really hope she goes for it - ew have great sex now and it can only get better.... How old are you? (sorry - don't know if I can ask that here...) I would like to chat to somebody more about the experiences, you seem to have a great handle on all of this, your partner must be in heaven...
Sex God
I'm 22 (apparently young for a swinger?!? :shock: ) and also quite new to this.. i.e we've spoke about it loads but only recently taken the plunge.. Feel free to add me to msn if you and your partner want to chat to us.
Sex God
I'm also 22 and have been swinging since early this year.
My partner and I talk about everything together and it is the way our relationship stays strong. We set boundaries and reguarly ask each other how we feel about things. It is a great idea to have a word or action that stops things as sometimes you can get what I call "stage fright" when one or both of you panics and finds it difficult to become arroused. Other people understand and will be gentle with you as everyone has a first time.
Maybe go to a club, one of the arranged nights to a swingers club though the let's meet up section might be ideal because it may help to have a few other people to talk to in the club when you get there. We didn't play with anyone the first time we went. we just looked around and watched what went on. We went back to the club another time and jumped in the deep end, so to speak.
The best of luck to you.
My partner and I talk about everything together and it is the way our relationship stays strong. We set boundaries and reguarly ask each other how we feel about things. It is a great idea to have a word or action that stops things as sometimes you can get what I call "stage fright" when one or both of you panics and finds it difficult to become arroused. Other people understand and will be gentle with you as everyone has a first time.
Maybe go to a club, one of the arranged nights to a swingers club though the let's meet up section might be ideal because it may help to have a few other people to talk to in the club when you get there. We didn't play with anyone the first time we went. we just looked around and watched what went on. We went back to the club another time and jumped in the deep end, so to speak.
The best of luck to you.
Quote by fem_manc-cpl
I'm also 22 and have been swinging since early this year.
My partner and I talk about everything together and it is the way our relationship stays strong. We set boundaries and reguarly ask each other how we feel about things. It is a great idea to have a word or action that stops things as sometimes you can get what I call "stage fright" when one or both of you panics and finds it difficult to become arroused. Other people understand and will be gentle with you as everyone has a first time.
Maybe go to a club, one of the arranged nights to a swingers club though the let's meet up section might be ideal because it may help to have a few other people to talk to in the club when you get there. We didn't play with anyone the first time we went. we just looked and saw what went on. we went back and jumped in the deep end, so to speak.
The best of luck to you.
:shock: Could have written that post myself (except I'm 10 years older).
We found that talking through evey eventuality we could think of and really exploring our feelings with each other helped .. and still does.
We've done the stick together at a club one too and found it improved our confidence no end.
Stick with it and get to know people and you'll be fine