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fittness

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why isit when we get a little older we decide its time to get fitter . my reason was whist having a quiet walk around richmond park i notice alot of females cyclist in skin tight lycra just how do you get close to them..well i tell you buy a bike and train .i mean really train like your going into a ironman event once fit the fun starts .what i do is hold back till you see one of these cuties them follow not to close. not till you come to a long steep incline this is your time to pounce. wait timing is key here what you are looking 4 is them getting tied and having to get out the saddle if you fit enough you can creep right up and slipstream them watch those hips jiggle and see the glow of there legs sweating. and then just lean foward and sniff away.i get so close now im almost able to give them oral sex .top tip if they look round and see you just breath heavy the girls being girls think they are doing great job because you cant get pass them buying you extra time to sniff away great fun when they get in the saddle again at the top of hill just turn around and start again. this helps you get fitter and is a example of carrot and stick
FB waits for the day she sees Gagmaster post to say he's been arrested for something indecent:-?
Do you make this stuff up, Gagmaster?
Quote by gagmaster
why isit when we get a little older we decide its time to get fitter . my reason was whist having a quiet walk around richmond park i notice alot of females cyclist in skin tight lycra just how do you get close to them..well i tell you buy a bike and train .i mean really train like your going into a ironman event once fit the fun starts .what i do is hold back till you see one of these cuties them follow not to close. not till you come to a long steep incline this is your time to pounce. wait timing is key here what you are looking 4 is them getting tied and having to get out the saddle if you fit enough you can creep right up and slipstream them watch those hips jiggle and see the glow of there legs sweating. and then just lean foward and sniff away.i get so close now im almost able to give them oral sex .top tip if they look round and see you just breath heavy the girls being girls think they are doing great job because you cant get pass them buying you extra time to sniff away great fun when they get in the saddle again at the top of hill just turn around and start again. this helps you get fitter and is a example of carrot and stick

In all honesty...i think your a sex offender in the making!
Waits for on of the "cuties" to slam on her brakes and watch gagmaster go flying over his handlebars :lol2:
Seriously, if you did any of that you'd be arrested.
:shock: Did I really just read what I thought I read?
Quote by s3xyl3xy
:shock: Did I really just read what I thought I read?

Apparently the diary of a weirdo, who will be arrested if he seriously does any of that stuff.
Quote by s3xyl3xy
:shock: Did I really just read what I thought I read?

You did! Great wasn't it lol
Quote by Freckledbird
:shock: Did I really just read what I thought I read?

Apparently the diary of a weirdo, who will be arrested if he seriously does any of that stuff.
Definitely! Made my flesh crawl just reading it.
Quote by s3xyl3xy
:shock: Did I really just read what I thought I read?

That's what I thought! Then I read it again and still think that!
Well actually any kind of sports these days is a great place to mingle with the girlies. Go to any fitnesss activity and men are outnumbered every time.
Quote by vampanya
:shock: Did I really just read what I thought I read?

That's what I thought! Then I read it again and still think that!
Glad I wasn't the only one then!
Quote by Kaznkev
i firmly hold to the belief that shagging burns up enough calories to keep me fit,i just need to manage 3 meets a day! lol

Just one would do me for now :lol: Conventional keepfit for calorie burning for the rest of the time but I won't be buying a bike anytime soon though! :lol2:
Quote by Kaznkev
i firmly hold to the belief that shagging burns up enough calories to keep me fit,i just need to manage 3 meets a day! lol

Why does it have to be meets? Will Kev not do for at least one of them? Bless him! :lol:
Woke up as horny as to get the cycle out and go over to Richmond back till the right cutie came alongand obj boy did she .a really top draw cutie zipped pass me like a tornado. I knew this was going to be a chalenge . You know the type ,light weight cycle and her even lighter. As I started to chace her and not making any progress I had it in my mind this is the type of girl that has a single cream cracker and a couple of grapes and call it dinner. Just hope she would run out of guess what she did half way up the went the ass in tight lycra and I was there to sample the view great shot of camel toe from behind. She really was suffering and I was feeling sorry for her almost wanted to her along and almost did I felt my hand reaching out. And slipping it under her crotch and pushing up. But ce to my mind just in time
Gagmaster, you really should stop taking the tablets and consult a doctor for something more appropriate. You're a nutter. The kind of stuff you're dreaming about, could get you arrested. I'm not even sure how appropriate it is that you keep posting the stuff in here either. confused
Or that you can't spell or string a sentence together. Maybe that's something you could do when they catch you - learn English in prison.
Gagmaster
You are lucky not to get pushed off your bike at a fast speed, if that is the sort of thing you are doing, and as others have pointed out you could get arrested.
Thanks for tip it's hard totype one handed on a cycle going up hill using a phone Ps thank god For Lycra
like everyone is saying, you will have to control yourself out there or you may go over the top.
I can see in a few months this taking off in a big way just like dogging did when it hit the of doggers running around all the local carparks at 2am in the morning and chasing any couple away they will be wearing there macs and thick rim glasses waiting in groops of 20 or more sitting on there bikes from halfords eating crisps and drinking coke. Before I know it I won't be able to submit cycling locations on this site due to ex doggers now cyclist chasing the fit young cuties away.I'm sure I'm not the only cyclist that does this but the first to post it on the web . So when this does go global and you read about it in the news of the you can say you knew all about it first thanks to a site called swingingheaven and a great god like guy called me this is the next big thing to hit the site might even have to add hill locations and a new forum for cycle meets
that will alert everyone and scare off the girls. no more perving for gagmaster!
keep schtum and you can still get your perving done on the quiet. just don't go reaching out, no matter how tempted you are.
Quote by gagmaster
I can see in a few months this taking off in a big way just like dogging did when it hit the of doggers running around all the local carparks at 2am in the morning and chasing any couple away they will be wearing there macs and thick rim glasses waiting in groops of 20 or more sitting on there bikes from halfords eating crisps and drinking coke. Before I know it I won't be able to submit cycling locations on this site due to ex doggers now cyclist chasing the fit young cuties away.I'm sure I'm not the only cyclist that does this but the first to post it on the web . So when this does go global and you read about it in the news of the you can say you knew all about it first thanks to a site called swingingheaven and a great god like guy called me this is the next big thing to hit the site might even have to add hill locations and a new forum for cycle meets

Great...thats all we need, this site linked with a sex offender, all thanks to a twonk called gagmaster!rolleyes
Have you actually bothered to listen to anything, anyone has said on here, dogging is one thing, but sexual assault on a woman is different matter. i really hope your nothing more than a fantasist.
For me I hope one of these " cuties " notices what you are up to, and swipes your hand away from the handlebars.
Then you lunge forward and crash........you bollocks land on the frame of the bike, you grimace in absolute pain, as you come crashing to the ground.
Your arms hurt through gravel rash and your nuts swell to the size of coconuts....that should put an end to ya perving.
Really Gaggy...............you do live in a different world to the rest of mankind. :twisted:
Quote by kentswingers777
For me I hope one of these " cuties " notices what you are up to, and swipes your hand away from the handlebars.
Then you lunge forward and crash........you bollocks land on the frame of the bike, you grimace in absolute pain, as you come crashing to the ground.
Your arms hurt through gravel rash and your nuts swell to the size of coconuts....that should put an end to ya perving.
Really Gaggy...............you do live in a different world to the rest of mankind. :twisted:

I think you missed out taking a tooth or two out on the tarmac... if ya gonna do it, do it properly! rolleyes
:laughabove::laughabove:
I do sympathise a bit with the gagger. I won't condone taking action but i can see his predicament.
I was at a fitness class recently and one of the women was wearing a rather well worn and fairly skimpy leotard. Whilst we sitting on the changing benches she bent over in front of me in full sunlight. the material was wafer thin in the crotch area and well I could see everything in detail.
There are times when women are not aware that they are displaying more than they know.
Quote by gagmaster
why isit when we get a little older we decide its time to get fitter . my reason was whist having a quiet walk around richmond park i notice alot of females cyclist in skin tight lycra just how do you get close to them..well i tell you buy a bike and train .i mean really train like your going into a ironman event once fit the fun starts .what i do is hold back till you see one of these cuties them follow not to close. not till you come to a long steep incline this is your time to pounce. wait timing is key here what you are looking 4 is them getting tied and having to get out the saddle if you fit enough you can creep right up and slipstream them watch those hips jiggle and see the glow of there legs sweating. and then just lean foward and sniff away.i get so close now im almost able to give them oral sex .top tip if they look round and see you just breath heavy the girls being girls think they are doing great job because you cant get pass them buying you extra time to sniff away great fun when they get in the saddle again at the top of hill just turn around and start again. this helps you get fitter and is a example of carrot and stick

sort of reminds me of driving through london one day with a mate in the car
he see a long haired brunet riding a bike in lycra from behind she looked as fit as a butchers dog
from the front he looked like any other bloke with long hair lol :lol:
Don't ya just hate it when that happens Rob? lol
well i know you think im a perv and yes i you cant blame me if all these young cuties are going to wear lycra and stick there asses in the air .what is a fellow ment to all they have made the effort
Well let us hope that you are caught and banged up for a few months eh?
If you want to perve buy one of those big blow up dolls, sit it on a bike with some nice shiny lycra shorts on.....you will be able to grope all day long.
Also you will be able to feed it cooking oil too, so the best of both worlds.loon
Quote by gagmaster
well i know you think im a perv and yes i you cant blame me if all these young cuties are going to wear lycra and stick there asses in the air .what is a fellow ment to all they have made the effort

I don't think you're a perve. I think you're pretty disgusting and your behaviour on every level you've graced us with is about as vulgar as it comes. I can't decide if you're a really bad troll or whether you're simply derranged. Whichever it is, I hope one of those girls in Richmond Park gives you what you deserve.
loon