What are your thoughts on the following points:
Should the age where kids are allowed to decide to leave home/ get married/ (insert anything else you can do at 16 that escapes me at the moment) be raised to 18?
In your opinion are kids of 16 mature enough to Get married, leave home.
Can they be trusted to make the right decisions for themselves if they do decide to go it alone?
A huge amount of 16-20 year olds having made the wrong decisions for themselves are finding themselves on the wrong side of the law these days putting I understand alot of pressure on the folk that have to contain them ie the offenders centres/prisons etc.
Do you think that raising the age to 18 would help that issue? not make a blind bit of difference or perhaps make problems elsewhere?
I know this would have a big impact on family life in some cases and make it harder for some parents to cope with certain situations they may come up against with their 16 year olds fighting for their independence. Could you/would you run with this as a parent or does it maybe make your life easier if said teen says "right I'm 16, I'm off and I'll do what I like" and legally he is allowed?
xxxxxx
id be devastated if my daughter came home at 16 and said she was moving out/getting married/moving abroad etc etc.
If she came home and said she wanted to move out and go to university 300 miles away to study to become a brain surgeon, would that make me any less devastated?
I do think most decisions should be made when a child reaches 18.
Its a true saying that with age comes wisdom and experience.
{decides not to have another drink cos i will get pissed and be sick}
dee xx
I think the problem is that age is just a number and does not relate to how mature they are. I really think kids should stay at home till at least 18 if not longer, trouble is with most teenagers as soon as you put a rule in front of them they want to break it.
Theres too much inconsistancy with the ages at which you can do things ie:
sex @ 16
drive @ 17
smoke @ 16
drink @ 18
vote @ 18
are there any more ???
ask a child at what age they become an adult they will answer as soon as possible.
Ask an adult about what age their child becomes an adult and they will say never, they will always be a child to them no matter what age or maturity.
my daughter moved out a couple of weeks ago to go to uni and I miss her already..............ok I'm a soppy dad....... :cry:
I don't think raising the age would make a shred of difference the ones that are going to make the bad decisions will still make them and telling 16 year olds what they can and can't do will not make them want to fit into the system just rebel against it.....
Parenting is sooooooo hard sometimes. A young adult going to college/uni I would have no qualms. Leaving home would make me feel ill. Why...... i think that I would know best and they didn't, which is sometimes wrong. My daughter left home at 17 to be with someone and I have to say she does have a good head on her and loves her independance, which I would never take away, I'm proud that she has the courage to take control of her life which I think would be too young. But she is doing well and she takes it in her stride. Children can really surprise us with their common sense. I do feel fretfull with mine but hey........you can only prepare them.
i do think things should change to 18 drinking (smoking already has) etc however each child is different and matures at different rates
i was kicked out of home at 14 staying here n there anywhere i could really 1 was pregnant and had my son at 15 and got my own house 2 weeks after my 16th birthday i didnt have a thing other than clothes a pram and a microwave when i first moved in and slowly but surely i build my home to the lovely place it is now
Had i of stayed at home until 18/21 would things have turned out any different maybe but maybe not but 1 thing i know for sure is the hard times were hard and they made me appreciate life very quickly and the things we take for granted
staying at home isnt an option for some kids as it wasnt for myself but i matured rapidly because i had to and wouldnt change any of it, it has made me the person i am today
I left home at 16. I stood or fell by my decisions.
I made mistakes, of course I did but it has made me the person I am today and I havent done too badly.
Once I had made up my mind to go no one was going to change it!
We have to trust our kids and also trust ourselves, knowing that we have brought them up to be responsible young adults. If a young adult decides he/she wants to leave the only thing we can do as responsible parents, is be there to support them when the going gets a little tough and at such a young age it will, its bound to but try telling them that.
At some point, our kids have to learn just exactly what is out there, wether they leave at 16 or 26 makes no difference IMO. If they feel they want to 'spread their wings' then we, as parents, have to respect their decision.
I think,if they stay in touch and know we are going to be there for them when they need us, where is the problem?
AnneJohn said:
good post,our jocb as parents is to guide and educate,when our paths diverge,at whatever age, it`s nice to be able to say you did your best.
The bit in bold says it for me. It is our responsibility to guide and educate as much as possible and in my opinion it is STILL our job to continue doing this from the age of 16 til 18 and even longer probably. Those parents that WANT to try to continue to do this are surely not able to if the law is allowing those children to make the decision to legally leave the family home?
Well im all for the system the way it is. I can see where people are coming from though. But surely upping it to 18 is simply forcing someone to stay when they don't want to?? The majority of teens don't leave the home till 18+ anyway and the ones that do before then normaly have reasons for doing so, so in theory changing it is only forcing someone to stay?? who knows its complicated.
If they did decide this was best then upping the school leaving age to 18 might solve a lot of the problems?? But personaly speaking doing this would just alienate teens, how would you feel if you were a young couple "say 17" and married (it does happen) and the system changed tomorrow, what would happen there? "how can they do it but we can't" springs to mind here. either way it would be a big gamble but thats just my opinion.
I think 16 is far too young, if i think back to when I was sixteen...about 5 years ago.......cough. I didn't know my own mind and I certainly wasn't old enough to be married. I think 18 is still young but far better than 16. But then I don't think we need to worry too much cus unless kids are blessed with a silver spoon in their mouths.....how many of them could afford to buy somewhere to live?
considering high house prices and rent...is there really any kids that can afford to leave home until they reach at least their 30's!
If you are in council 'care' I believe they kick you out at 16 and you get nothing. If you have not been assigned a council flat you are effectively homeless - I'm sure someone on here knows the facts about this. But I remember reading some time ago about this and it doesn;t seem right at all.
I believe the age of adulthood should be fixed at something. 18 seems reasonable. But there will be exceptions - mature at 16 - too immature at 25 to be on their own. SO long as a teen has the option of 'running home' if necessary then leaving home can work really well.
They now house youngsters til they're 18- and after that offer support until (I think) about 21.