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For or against the system?

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What are your thoughts on the following points:
Should the age where kids are allowed to decide to leave home/ get married/ (insert anything else you can do at 16 that escapes me at the moment) be raised to 18?
In your opinion are kids of 16 mature enough to Get married, leave home.
Can they be trusted to make the right decisions for themselves if they do decide to go it alone?
A huge amount of 16-20 year olds having made the wrong decisions for themselves are finding themselves on the wrong side of the law these days putting I understand alot of pressure on the folk that have to contain them ie the offenders centres/prisons etc.
Do you think that raising the age to 18 would help that issue? not make a blind bit of difference or perhaps make problems elsewhere?
I know this would have a big impact on family life in some cases and make it harder for some parents to cope with certain situations they may come up against with their 16 year olds fighting for their independence. Could you/would you run with this as a parent or does it maybe make your life easier if said teen says "right I'm 16, I'm off and I'll do what I like" and legally he is allowed?
xxxxxx
id be devastated if my daughter came home at 16 and said she was moving out/getting married/moving abroad etc etc.
If she came home and said she wanted to move out and go to university 300 miles away to study to become a brain surgeon, would that make me any less devastated?
I do think most decisions should be made when a child reaches 18.
Its a true saying that with age comes wisdom and experience.
{decides not to have another drink cos i will get pissed and be sick}
dee xx
I forgot the school angle confused Yes I suppose the going away to colledge/uni throws a different light on it or maybe if they were to decide to do that there would still be adult responsibility for their decisions with regards to extra curricular activities dunno
xxx
I think the problem is that age is just a number and does not relate to how mature they are. I really think kids should stay at home till at least 18 if not longer, trouble is with most teenagers as soon as you put a rule in front of them they want to break it.
Theres too much inconsistancy with the ages at which you can do things ie:
sex @ 16
drive @ 17
smoke @ 16
drink @ 18
vote @ 18
are there any more ???
ask a child at what age they become an adult they will answer as soon as possible.
Ask an adult about what age their child becomes an adult and they will say never, they will always be a child to them no matter what age or maturity.
my daughter moved out a couple of weeks ago to go to uni and I miss her already..............ok I'm a soppy dad....... :cry:
I don't think raising the age would make a shred of difference the ones that are going to make the bad decisions will still make them and telling 16 year olds what they can and can't do will not make them want to fit into the system just rebel against it.....
Parenting is sooooooo hard sometimes. A young adult going to college/uni I would have no qualms. Leaving home would make me feel ill. Why...... i think that I would know best and they didn't, which is sometimes wrong. My daughter left home at 17 to be with someone and I have to say she does have a good head on her and loves her independance, which I would never take away, I'm proud that she has the courage to take control of her life which I think would be too young. But she is doing well and she takes it in her stride. Children can really surprise us with their common sense. I do feel fretfull with mine but hey........you can only prepare them.
Quote by markz
my daughter moved out a couple of weeks ago to go to uni and I miss her already..............ok I'm a soppy dad....... :cry:
I don't think raising the age would make a shred of difference the ones that are going to make the bad decisions will still make them and telling 16 year olds what they can and can't do will not make them want to fit into the system just rebel against it.....

You have my heartfelt sympathy Markz It hurts so much when they go away from home :cry:
Quote by firelizard
my daughter moved out a couple of weeks ago to go to uni and I miss her already..............ok I'm a soppy dad....... :cry:
I don't think raising the age would make a shred of difference the ones that are going to make the bad decisions will still make them and telling 16 year olds what they can and can't do will not make them want to fit into the system just rebel against it.....

You have my heartfelt sympathy Markz It hurts so much when they go away from home :cry:
it does....... but that leaves a gap.....do you fancy making another one..... rolleyes
OMG!!!! you are incorrigable :eeek: smackbottom
Quote by markz
my daughter moved out a couple of weeks ago to go to uni and I miss her already..............ok I'm a soppy dad....... :cry:
I don't think raising the age would make a shred of difference the ones that are going to make the bad decisions will still make them and telling 16 year olds what they can and can't do will not make them want to fit into the system just rebel against it.....

Some have to go through the bad decisions, like myself markz, purely because I don't like taking the easy route in life. Children leaving home is always wrenching.......but if they keep in touch life always seems better. smile
They can join the forces at 16 and potentially go to war so why not leave home or vote for that matter dunno
i do think things should change to 18 drinking (smoking already has) etc however each child is different and matures at different rates
i was kicked out of home at 14 staying here n there anywhere i could really 1 was pregnant and had my son at 15 and got my own house 2 weeks after my 16th birthday i didnt have a thing other than clothes a pram and a microwave when i first moved in and slowly but surely i build my home to the lovely place it is now
Had i of stayed at home until 18/21 would things have turned out any different maybe but maybe not but 1 thing i know for sure is the hard times were hard and they made me appreciate life very quickly and the things we take for granted
staying at home isnt an option for some kids as it wasnt for myself but i matured rapidly because i had to and wouldnt change any of it, it has made me the person i am today
I left home at 16. I stood or fell by my decisions.
I made mistakes, of course I did but it has made me the person I am today and I havent done too badly.
Once I had made up my mind to go no one was going to change it!
We have to trust our kids and also trust ourselves, knowing that we have brought them up to be responsible young adults. If a young adult decides he/she wants to leave the only thing we can do as responsible parents, is be there to support them when the going gets a little tough and at such a young age it will, its bound to but try telling them that.
At some point, our kids have to learn just exactly what is out there, wether they leave at 16 or 26 makes no difference IMO. If they feel they want to 'spread their wings' then we, as parents, have to respect their decision.
I think,if they stay in touch and know we are going to be there for them when they need us, where is the problem?
Quote by helnheaven
I left home at 16. I stood or fell by my decisions.
I made mistakes, of course I did but it has made me the person I am today and I havent done too badly.
Once I had made up my mind to go no one was going to change it!
We have to trust our kids and also trust ourselves, knowing that we have brought them up to be responsible young adults. If a young adult decides he/she wants to leave the only thing we can do as responsible parents, is be there to support them when the going gets a little tough and at such a young age it will, its bound to but try telling them that.
At some point, our kids have to learn just exactly what is out there, wether they leave at 16 or 26 makes no difference IMO. If they feel they want to 'spread their wings' then we, as parents, have to respect their decision.
I think,if they stay in touch and know we are going to be there for them when they need us, where is the problem?

good post,our jocb as parents is to guide and educate,when our paths diverge,at whatever age, it`s nice to be able to say you did your best.
I have three daughter's and it scares the hell out of me to think of them leaving home at 16.
I left home at 17 due to family problems at home, getting in with the wrong crowd etc. I did get up to no good redface not with the law though but as I got older I realise that I was too young and I really wish that I hadnt left when I did and certain aspects of my like could be totally different now.
Ohh and Winey, the law has raised the age for being able to buy ciggarettes from 16 to 18. Not that I think it will make much difference. I was always able to get my hands on them when I was underage.
louise xx
I left home a few weeks before my 17th birthday, it was my choice although it was made as things wern`t great at home I do sometimes wish that I had stuck it out especially when times were hard. But once I had left my stubbourness wouldn`t let me go back so I stuck it outlol I lived with mr lyns (and his parents) once I had left home and then eventually we got our own place. I do somethimes think I did miss out on things life the girlie holidays and things like that as while my friends were working part time to fund their partying habbits :lol2: and going to college/uni I was working full time to pay towards the bills and keep a roof over our heads.
Where ever possible I think youngsters should stay at home for as long as possible because at 16/17 I don`t think most are grown up and responsible enough to deal with everything that comes with being a "grown up".
I would be devestated if my girls wanted to leave home at 16/17 but I would have to let them make their own mistakes just as I did otherwise I would fear that I would loose them forever, at least by showing "support" they would know that I would still be there for them. (does that make sense it does in my head :lolsmile
Quote by firelizard
Should the age where kids are allowed to decide to leave home/ get married/ (insert anything else you can do at 16 that escapes me at the moment) be raised to 18?
In your opinion are kids of 16 mature enough to Get married, leave home.

Absolutely not!... this is very close to my home situation at this moment in time and I can 100% say my daughter could not manage on her own. I'm sure she'd 'survive' but I know she wouldn't manage.
Maturity comes with age in my book, she needs to learn so much more and I would hate for her to leave home right now and set up life on her own. Clearly I'm not in a position to stop her but I'm in total agreeance with you Fire, the age should be raised to 18.
When I think back to when I was 16 what I knew then and how I managed, to what I know now etc., it's worlds apart not just decades. So many 16 yr olds lack common sense, they are kids still and want to enjoy their lives, which is the way it should be to a certain extent.
They should enjoy their freedom, go to college, meet new people have the warmth and security at home, and then at 18 travel, see the world. All this in retrospect is what I wish I had done... :cry:
Quote by Mallock2006
They can join the forces at 16 and potentially go to war so why not leave home or vote for that matter dunno

Mallock hun you are right, but in reality 16 yr olds are still not mature enough to know what/who to vote for why's and wherefores, nor even go to war... not by today's 16yr old standards anyway.
Back in the 1940's 16 yr olds were practically men weren't they, completely different.
AnneJohn said:
good post,our jocb as parents is to guide and educate,when our paths diverge,at whatever age, it`s nice to be able to say you did your best.
The bit in bold says it for me. It is our responsibility to guide and educate as much as possible and in my opinion it is STILL our job to continue doing this from the age of 16 til 18 and even longer probably. Those parents that WANT to try to continue to do this are surely not able to if the law is allowing those children to make the decision to legally leave the family home?
Well im all for the system the way it is. I can see where people are coming from though. But surely upping it to 18 is simply forcing someone to stay when they don't want to?? The majority of teens don't leave the home till 18+ anyway and the ones that do before then normaly have reasons for doing so, so in theory changing it is only forcing someone to stay?? who knows its complicated.
If they did decide this was best then upping the school leaving age to 18 might solve a lot of the problems?? But personaly speaking doing this would just alienate teens, how would you feel if you were a young couple "say 17" and married (it does happen) and the system changed tomorrow, what would happen there? "how can they do it but we can't" springs to mind here. either way it would be a big gamble but thats just my opinion.
I think 16 is far too young, if i think back to when I was sixteen...about 5 years ago.......cough. I didn't know my own mind and I certainly wasn't old enough to be married. I think 18 is still young but far better than 16. But then I don't think we need to worry too much cus unless kids are blessed with a silver spoon in their mouths.....how many of them could afford to buy somewhere to live?
considering high house prices and rent...is there really any kids that can afford to leave home until they reach at least their 30's!
Am I right in thinking that by law you can only leave home at 16 if you have a job & a place to stay? dunno
Anyway, I think the ones that want to leave home before the candles are cold on their 16th birthday cake are probably the ones more predisposed to getting into trouble....maybe :dunno:
With many exceptions, obviously, they seem to be desperate for the independence, but without respect for the responsibilities they'll face.
Our eldest (17) would cope perfectly well if she left home now. She would have months ago. However, she has no desire to go until it's time for uni. Because she's always been sensible, she has freedom and respect.
We have another child who believes that at 14 she should be in charge of her own life- and yet day in, day out seems hell bent on destroying it.
Go figure. rolleyes
Quote by jaymar
They can join the forces at 16 and potentially go to war so why not leave home or vote for that matter dunno

Mallock hun you are right, but in reality 16 yr olds are still not mature enough to know what/who to vote for why's and wherefores, nor even go to war... not by today's 16yr old standards anyway.
Back in the 1940's 16 yr olds were practically men weren't they, completely different.
I dont disagree hun kiss but I just see it as a right kick in the bollox to say that a person is old enough to kill in a war a politician has started yet not old enough to vote for the politician who starts it....
Note old enough to have a pint....
Barry McGuire
Eve of Destruction
"Your old enough to kill,but not for voting"
A powerfull song indeed.
Quote by Mallock2006
They can join the forces at 16 and potentially go to war so why not leave home or vote for that matter dunno

Mallock hun you are right, but in reality 16 yr olds are still not mature enough to know what/who to vote for why's and wherefores, nor even go to war... not by today's 16yr old standards anyway.
Back in the 1940's 16 yr olds were practically men weren't they, completely different.
I dont disagree hun kiss but I just see it as a right kick in the bollox to say that a person is old enough to kill in a war a politician has started yet not old enough to vote for the politician who starts it....
Note old enough to have a pint....
Barry McGuire
Eve of Destruction
"Your old enough to kill,but not for voting"
A powerfull song indeed.
Not quite 16, but at 17 1/2 you are allowed to go abroad to serve in a war zone. Still below the legal limit. That is why Britain is being investigated for the employment of "Child Soldiers". Something we all think is a foreign problem but it is here at home.
In my view I think it is disgusting that these men and women can fight but not drink or smoke because it is bad for their health. I thought a bullet is more hazardous?
Dave_Notts
If you are in council 'care' I believe they kick you out at 16 and you get nothing. If you have not been assigned a council flat you are effectively homeless - I'm sure someone on here knows the facts about this. But I remember reading some time ago about this and it doesn;t seem right at all.
I believe the age of adulthood should be fixed at something. 18 seems reasonable. But there will be exceptions - mature at 16 - too immature at 25 to be on their own. SO long as a teen has the option of 'running home' if necessary then leaving home can work really well.
Quote by foxylady2209
If you are in council 'care' I believe they kick you out at 16 and you get nothing. If you have not been assigned a council flat you are effectively homeless - .

what was true for me hun but that a good few year ago now not sure if its still the same
i was the only one who left home at a ridiculous age my brother only moved out last year aged 27 and my sis is 22 and still lives at home and i cant imagine her being mature enough to move out for a good few year yet (but more through modycodling (sp) than any fault of her own)
They now house youngsters til they're 18- and after that offer support until (I think) about 21.
Quote by winchwench
(I think)

markz wrote ....when..... rolleyes
Quote by foxylady2209
If you are in council 'care' I believe they kick you out at 16 and you get nothing.

This isn't strictly true these days, (I can't comment on practice years ago), now you get guidance and advice to help you along, it's up to the individual whether they take on board that advice.
I know of a few kids who've gone from care with that guidance and are now successfully completing a Uni course.