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For those with partners.....

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Mainly, I'm aiming this at people who have partners who were not met on here. Did you get into swinging before you met your partner, or whilst you were with said person ? Are they now part of your lswinging life or do you hide it ?
I can't imagine hiding it, but then again, if you are in a long term relationship and havnt revealed it - how did you go about it ? I cant imagine its very easy to introduce a loved one to this sort of lifestlye. I'm glad I don't have to deal with this at the moment, but I can see a time when I might be with someone who I wouldn't want to hide this from.
Anyway...
Would love to here all you veterans comments, and any non painful anecdotes you may have. Oh, and if this is a relaly obvious or stupid question then please ignore more !
We got into swinging together
We discovered swinging together wink
i got into the swinging scene because my boyfriend had already done some swinging before and talked about it and found that it really turns me to see some of you soon? ! lol hump :hump: :hump:
me and my hubby was together for 15 years before i plucked up the courage to discuss the idea of it ,, been swinging for about 2 years now so still new to it all really but we having fun learning lol xxx
Quote by naughtynymphos1
we was together got 8 years b4 we started swinging

I am not sure if this is a whole new thread but it is interesting how long couples have been together before they decided to swing. We had been together 4 about 8 years before we took the plunge but had fantasised for about 2 years lol
takingitslow..
you may want to look at this thread too:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/56067.html
We have been together for almost 9 years now :inlove:
We have been swinging for 3 years, we have always communicated well and been open with each other, regarding most things.
Therefore i think, the topic of swinging/fantasies was not that difficultt to approach, she says confused that was dino lol
I've just been browsing through the forum and I read a few similar questions by others. It's not that I'm after anyone in particular at the moment, or with someone, but I couldn't live a lie by not persuing this or hdiing it from them.
I was once with a couple who seemed pretty unsure if they wanted to go ahead. I thought I would be the nervous one,but thats not how it worked out. The whole evening seemed to be about humiliating the boyfriend and following the girlfriends wishes.
I actually got the feeling though that he had been a swinger for sometime and had been doing it without her knowlegde ( she was about ten years younger). I felt she was trying to humilate him as a form of revenge for what his dishonesty.
They were a pretty strange couple, and I have no idea wether they stayed together, or continued swinging. I do know I don't want to be stuck in the middle of such a situation again !
Me and Claire were together, and she told me she thought she fancied women, and also got turned on by the thought of me sucking off a guy.
We have been together about 4 years now, and started swinging about a year ago, so 3 years into our relationship.
Our first experience was a MMF with a bi guy (met on here) and it started with me and him playing together, that turned Claire on lots, so we have just kicked off from there.
Yet to have a FFM, cos Claire wants to play alone - now hows that for double standards lol
Nigel & Claire
Thats something, I had not thought of... one half of the couple wanting to go it alone. I had kind of assumed if you told your other half it was all or nothing. I'd never really thought about the woman wanting some time to herself so to speak.
I guess that sounds kind of sexist, but its just niavety. So much to learn still... sigh. A lot on here still confuses me.
Quote by takingitslow
Thats something, I had not thought of... one half of the couple wanting to go it alone. I had kind of assumed if you told your other half it was all or nothing. I'd never really thought about the woman wanting some time to herself so to speak.
I guess that sounds kind of sexist, but its just niavety. So much to learn still... sigh. A lot on here still confuses me.
Just to clarify though, I have no problem with Claire wishing to go it alone to see if he enjoys it. I state that I am bi, but would only ever consider doing that with Claire, cos it is a me and her (and of course him, the other M) event. She has promised that once she has "dipped her toe" sufficiently I will be invited to watch / participate - and I am very cool with that.
Dont mind me Nigel, I'm jsut thinking out loud. Thinking too far into the future and all ! Its inspiring to see so many posiitve stories on here . One thing I have noticed is that a lot of couples seem to find it hard to find bisexual women to join them.
Is this that most bisexual woman are in couples and they dont usually swing alone, or is the fact that not many single bisexual women visit SH so the choice is limited for couples looking for mff ?
Quote by takingitslow
Dont mind me Nigel, I'm jsut thinking out loud. Thinking too far into the future and all ! Its inspiring to see so many posiitve stories on here . One thing I have noticed is that a lot of couples seem to find it hard to find bisexual women to join them.
Is this that most bisexual woman are in couples and they dont usually swing alone, or is the fact that not many single bisexual women visit SH so the choice is limited for couples looking for mff ?

I think it is true to say that most bi women are in couples. I think it is obvious for safety reasons that bi women are usualy reluctant to swing alone
Quote by takingitslow
Thats something, I had not thought of... one half of the couple wanting to go it alone. I had kind of assumed if you told your other half it was all or nothing. I'd never really thought about the woman wanting some time to herself so to speak.
I guess that sounds kind of sexist, but its just niavety. So much to learn still... sigh. A lot on here still confuses me.

me and my husband play alone as well as as a couple, i love bi men and my hubbies not bi so i meet bi guys/go to bi nights at clubs alone for that kind of thing, also he had met a few str8 women and couples looking for single men alone, its all about give and take and not just being in it for yourself, if a str8 woman wants to meet him i'm not going to say he can't go just cause she don't want to play with me and also he wouldn't say no you can't go to the bi night just cause its not his cuppa tea, work well for us, tho we do mainly meet together
Quote by seagull69
Dont mind me Nigel, I'm jsut thinking out loud. Thinking too far into the future and all ! Its inspiring to see so many posiitve stories on here . One thing I have noticed is that a lot of couples seem to find it hard to find bisexual women to join them.
Is this that most bisexual woman are in couples and they dont usually swing alone, or is the fact that not many single bisexual women visit SH so the choice is limited for couples looking for mff ?

I think it is true to say that most bi women are in couples. I think it is obvious for safety reasons that bi women are usualy reluctant to swing alone
:thumbup:
Quote by seagull69
I think it is obvious for safety reasons that bi women are usualy reluctant to swing alone

i think any womens not really safe to swing alone they don't have to be bi, if i meet alone its always in a club or with people i know, i would never do a private meet with a stranger
Thanks for that naughtynympho, thats another aspect I hadnt thought of. I'd never considered the fact that there may be some attraction of bisexual guys to women who are not partners.I'd always assumed the eroticism came from the fact you were seeing you partner engage in the act.
Wow, I realise I know so LITTLE about this lifestyle. I think the level of trust that must exist must be really high and that you must have to have a strong relationship with a lot of love, but I guess the rewards for both partners must really enrich the relationship ! (if that made sense !)
Steve
The Seagulls had fun with an Owl once not sure we would want a blade lol
Quote by takingitslow
I've just been browsing through the forum and I read a few similar questions by others. It's not that I'm after anyone in particular at the moment, or with someone, but I couldn't live a lie by not persuing this or hdiing it from them.
I was once with a couple who seemed pretty unsure if they wanted to go ahead. I thought I would be the nervous one,but thats not how it worked out. The whole evening seemed to be about humiliating the boyfriend and following the girlfriends wishes.
I actually got the feeling though that he had been a swinger for sometime and had been doing it without her knowlegde ( she was about ten years younger). I felt she was trying to humilate him as a form of revenge for what his dishonesty.
They were a pretty strange couple, and I have no idea wether they stayed together, or continued swinging. I do know I don't want to be stuck in the middle of such a situation again !

It may be that the humiliation aspect was part of their play. Each to his/her own really. Men acting out or being the cuckold in a relationship is all part of what some people do and enjoy. There are so many different ways that people swing, not just the ‘wife swapping’(I hate that term! :doh: ) that you see in the media.
Quote by berksbex
I've just been browsing through the forum and I read a few similar questions by others. It's not that I'm after anyone in particular at the moment, or with someone, but I couldn't live a lie by not persuing this or hdiing it from them.
I was once with a couple who seemed pretty unsure if they wanted to go ahead. I thought I would be the nervous one,but thats not how it worked out. The whole evening seemed to be about humiliating the boyfriend and following the girlfriends wishes.
I actually got the feeling though that he had been a swinger for sometime and had been doing it without her knowlegde ( she was about ten years younger). I felt she was trying to humilate him as a form of revenge for what his dishonesty.
They were a pretty strange couple, and I have no idea wether they stayed together, or continued swinging. I do know I don't want to be stuck in the middle of such a situation again !

It may be that the humiliation aspect was part of their play. Each to his/her own really. Men acting out or being the cuckold in a relationship is all part of what some people do and enjoy. There are so many different ways that people swing, not just the ‘wife swapping’(I hate that term! :doh: ) that you see in the to add to this, one particular "nasty" fantasy of mine is for me and my girlfriend to be shagged or give head to loads of blokes - a bit like our own gang bang :shock:
It really turns Claire on to think about this too. Maybe one day this will come true for us. People I have spoken to about this (just a few) think that I am wierd to want this fantasy, but it really floats our boat !!
Quote by welshBIcouple
I've just been browsing through the forum and I read a few similar questions by others. It's not that I'm after anyone in particular at the moment, or with someone, but I couldn't live a lie by not persuing this or hdiing it from them.
I was once with a couple who seemed pretty unsure if they wanted to go ahead. I thought I would be the nervous one,but thats not how it worked out. The whole evening seemed to be about humiliating the boyfriend and following the girlfriends wishes.
I actually got the feeling though that he had been a swinger for sometime and had been doing it without her knowlegde ( she was about ten years younger). I felt she was trying to humilate him as a form of revenge for what his dishonesty.
They were a pretty strange couple, and I have no idea wether they stayed together, or continued swinging. I do know I don't want to be stuck in the middle of such a situation again !

It may be that the humiliation aspect was part of their play. Each to his/her own really. Men acting out or being the cuckold in a relationship is all part of what some people do and enjoy. There are so many different ways that people swing, not just the ‘wife swapping’(I hate that term! :doh: ) that you see in the to add to this, one particular "nasty" fantasy of mine is for me and my girlfriend to be shagged or give head to loads of blokes - a bit like our own gang bang :shock:
It really turns Claire on to think about this too. Maybe one day this will come true for us. People I have spoken to about this (just a few) think that I am wierd to want this fantasy, but it really floats our boat !!
Thats not weird that would be on our list smile
I discovered that monogamous relationships weren't for me whilst with a previous partner a long long time ago and we lived in an open relationship for several years. However, I didn't discover the swinging scene proper til after that relationship ended and I explored it as a single person, I met lots of people and discovered clubs. During that time I met Denise (not through swinging) but we shared the same interests as Denise was also a swinger (though didn't use the term) so we explored the scene as a couple. Denise was never too much into clubs so I usually did clubbing with a friend that I did meet via the Net. Now I swing as a single, though I don't very often do 121s and most if not all the swinging I do is in clubs or at parties etc with people I have met from here. SH is now my life. Sad, ain't it :giggle: