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Quote by da69ve
vinyl.....whats vinyl?

Yes sorry da69ve me age is showing and I guess that vinyl is something that is worn these days, but let me try to explain.
Vinyl was what they used to put music onto, however it was limited in the quality of the sound it produced and for the limited amount of room that it provided, typically eight of nine tracks per vinyl plus other technical shortfalls.
A company called Ktel did break the mould and crammed up to twenty tracks onto their vinyls, but it didn't really work as far as music is concerned, all said and done a quart is never gonna fit in a pint pot. I don't know for sure wether Ktel moved from music to fashion, but I have been to the odd munch where I'm sure I've seen the Ktel principle being applied to dresses made from said material.
If any one wanted to analyse why there are limited numbers of people using the forum or what may or may notbe wrong with the forum. They would not have to go any further than this single thread.
Amongst the obvious features are hijacking of posts, aggressive language, talking about small points such as word definitions rather than the jist of the message, lack of sensitivity to others view points, lack of objectivity in discussion, self opinion before listening and perhaps a willingness to shoot before thinking? Oh and asking why you should be posting if it is so negative in some of these threads - I'd like to think I can enquire, learn and put a point of view into a melting pot despite the occasional whistling bullet or flying flak and because I want to be here and will not be bullied out of it. (Shields going up!)
The point about "cliques"whether they exist or not is that people feel they exist - even if they are wrong - we should try to find if there are real or perceived reasons for this and remove the causes where possible?
In my humble opinion one simple solution would be that moderators should step in earlier and ask people to change the way they say things or repost their point if it is becoming personal or aggressive.
I thought that was a great post Shayz1 - apart from the Mods stepping in part, I just personally think it wouldn't work and would become too suffocating.
I wanted to add one final point - from reading this entire thread I get the feeling that there is a certain "They don't act/post like I do so it's wrong or something to be looked down on" attitude.
People have their own reasons for posting rarely or a lot or one-liners or dross or sarcasm or whatever - who is anyone to judge or to believe they know the reasons behind this behaviour and what they member gets out of it?
This is a website for supposedly libertated people and a place where you can speek your mind freely... but to some it's only as long as you do it in an acceptable way to them. rolleyes
Nobody on here is better or more important than anyone else, sadly some people seem to forget that.
Quote by shayz1
I'd like to think I can enquire, learn and put a point of view into a melting pot despite the occasional whistling bullet or flying flak and because I want to be here and will not be bullied out of it.

Now see this I do agree with - this is the major plus point , up side, really positive aspect of the forum for me , it is a melting pot into which quite often (when there is a good, thought provoking discussion or debate happening) that people do and should post to 'enquire, learn and give their opinion'....... But often people forget that "the best thing about opinions is that they differ" (TM Dambuster) and things get taken too personally. It isa melting pot, and long may it continue :thumbup:
the bit I personally wont accept is that this particular thread invites those who hate the forum to pop along and say so - Openminded was correct - my opinion on this is not constructive, but you wouldnt go into someone's house exclaim 'oooo i hate your wallpaper, dont you think you should redecorate? and then ask half the street to comment on it too, would you? (or afterwards expect to be invited over for coffee again)
Some people 'get' the Cafe, others dont, but dont be surprised if the 'yocals' get a bit defensive in a thread like this wink
Quote by Kiss
Nobody on here is better or more important than anyone else, sadly some people seem to forget that.

Quote by Darkfire
- this is the major plus point , up side, really positive aspect of the forum for me , it is a melting pot into which quite often (when there is a good, thought provoking discussion or debate happening) that people do and should post to 'enquire, learn and give their opinion'....... But often people forget that "the best thing about opinions is that they differ" (TM Dambuster) and things get taken too personally. It is a melting pot, and long may it continue

worship
well i enjoyed that, some great posts on here and also the usual rubbish, but i have to say it was really nice to read some of the unfamiliar faces comments, it always gives more of an insight into something when a "stranger" comments,
Lairdy you hit the nail on the head with one line for me......nice one...
wrats
xx
Quote by the_Laird
Shhhhh, you of all people know others opinions on the possible exsistance of a world beyond smackbottom
wink

A world outside SH???? :shock:
It's a LIE I tell you!
innocent
Oooh - I was wondering when the subject of the click clack (clicque) would rear its head again! It has been a subject for debate since I can remember (and before that I am sure). I remember a damn good post by Venus on the very same subject. In my opinion there will always be a perception of clicque on a forum of this size, as there is in every sphere of life. People who have "known" each other for ages will bounce off each other in a certain way, or learn to ignore threads that aren't worth getting involved in. New people may join in, or find themselves feeling isolated until they find those that they click with. Its life guys.
I don't post as much as I used to and sometimes when I come back I feel a little "isolated" - but that is becuase I haven't had a chance to get a feel for the new posters. If I stuck around long enough I may find that I click with them. I may find that I don't. No point getting upset about it. I have the choice to log in and I have the choice to reply to threads. Or I can choose to log off and not repy to any. I view it in the same way as I do my local pub. I haven't been in ages and if I walked in now the chances are I might see a few old faces, but I doubt I would fit back in in quite the same way as I used to. If I kept going back I'd start to feel more comfortable again. But I still wouldn't gel with every single group of people there. But I wouldn't stand on the bar and shout at them for being clicquey. The difference on a forum is that every view and every "conversation" is there to be viewed and "listened" to in a way that you don't get in real life - so you can get that feeling of isolation or cliqueness amplified.
And believe it or not - in real life people have different opinions and argue and flounce too.
Rsxx :color:
edit addition: Always found this a good discussion:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/33275.html?highlight=clicque
wave
Hello Bows
Good to see you again
:bounce:
People who post a thread on a topic expecting people to agree with them and then complain when folks not only disagree, but reply.
If you won't like the answer then don't ask the question. confused
this is just my opinion,like my dad used to say" opinions are like arseholes we all have 1"
over the many years i have read many many forums from all -line and lifestyles
i think people sometimes forget that there are real people behind the words and some like me are not so great with the wriiten english langauge,and mistakes in how a sentence is put together can have the opposite effect is was meant to beand people jump on it,isnt it better to not reply at all than reply negatively and maybe hurt someone feelings,and when people are attacked in writing as some are, then the defensive mechanism takes over either in a reply or silence
As far as the "inner circle" it happens people who say it doesnt are misguided or blinkered,people do group together (this is not a bad thing),people like the familarity,they feel comfortable and at ease,but bear a thought for those that are shy,nervous,unsure perhaps these are the people that need a more of a helping hand than those that are confident and confortable,The forum is the same as the chat rooms and the meets no different(maybe on meets some of the comments are not made as fear of reprisal)
Poeple say its all about the experience and the meeting of new people,but some just like the familarity ,now these people cant be condemed for that process and peole that cant get in the :inner circle"shouldnt scream and shout but accept it as part of life as it happens everywhere work/social etc
the only thing i can say is remeber its REAL people behind these forum and consideration should be paroumaount ,i apologise for my grammar and english
My thoughts have been well documented over the past months so not going over again.
Some really interesting comments have been made though, personally I can't say I hate anything as such, dislike a few things but thats more about me than them I think... if that makes sense? I accept I differ from some and my views are not the same as some.. but does not make me a bad person for it. Tollerance is key on a site like this, some have it some don't.
Bloody good thread though, best for ages....
Mike xx
Quote by Kiss
I wanted to add one final point - from reading this entire thread I get the feeling that there is a certain "They don't act/post like I do so it's wrong or something to be looked down on" attitude.

So my posts are ok then rolleyes
Quote by PoloLady

not only me saying theres a clique in ere,, open ya eyes and read the previous threads. i got a 1month ban for opening my mouth when someone put me down,how come that happend to me but not to the other person...............cos theres a clique dats why

So are you saying the mods/ops are in on this clique as well? (seeing regular members can't ban people)

Did i say dat?? did it sound like dat ?? er dont think so ..
Well actually I didn't say you did - I asked if that was what you were saying.
Did it sound like 'dat'? Actually yes it did. It did because you used the example of you being banned as proof of a clique and it is mods/ops who ban people - not regular members. Hence me asking if you then beleived they were part of the so called clique.
Quote by sxi4uall
theres the prove, people only wana read wot they want to read an not wot anyone thinks, that constitutes a clique enviroment i think ...

Proof of what?
Proof that someone asked to clarify what you were saying means there is a clique?
Someone reading something as it stands is proof there is a clique?
Interpretation means there is a clique?
Do you know what the word 'clique' means ? confused
Erm.. what exactly does 'dat' mean?????
OK I'm lost... have we past and present threads here??
dunno
Quote by markz

I wanted to add one final point - from reading this entire thread I get the feeling that there is a certain "They don't act/post like I do so it's wrong or something to be looked down on" attitude.

So my posts are ok then rolleyes
Your posts are never ok. :roll:
Quote by jaymar
OK I'm lost... have we past and present threads here??
dunno

I'm not actually sure which bit you're referring to Jaymar, but yes, some of the stuff on page 3 is from another thread - another advantage (or disadvantage for some) is that 'view all posts' in someone's profile allows you to 'research' people's previous posts in the forum wink
Of course there is a clique in the cafe, Ive been a member of SH for a wee while now and have found there is a barrier between newer members and the old guard, I noticed that certain long term members and mods have a habit of clamping down on free thinkers.
It can be very discouraging and in my case its rare i post much in here nowadays for fear of being shot down in flames.
thats just my point of view......
Quote by easyease
Of course there is a clique in the cafe, Ive been a member of SH for a wee while now and have found there is a barrier between newer members and the old guard, I noticed that certain long term members and mods have a habit of clamping down on free thinkers.
It can be very discouraging and in my case its rare i post much in here nowadays for fear of being shot down in flames.
thats just my point of view......

Hmm, I guess as someone who has been a member here longer than anyone else who has contributed to this thread, I qualify as 'old guard'.......................but I am not and have never been part of the clique.
Why?
I dunno. confused
Because I don't do the socials and munches maybe.
Or maybe because I don't post enough.
Who knows.
Who cares!
I will continue to post on threads that spark my interest, wether they be by oldies or newbies.
biggrin :D :D
Quote by easyease
Of course there is a clique in the cafe, Ive been a member of SH for a wee while now and have found there is a barrier between newer members and the old guard, I noticed that certain long term members and mods have a habit of clamping down on free thinkers.
It can be very discouraging and in my case its rare i post much in here nowadays for fear of being shot down in flames.
thats just my point of view......

I just don't think that it is true, that there is a clique, for this reason:
Quote by westerross
There are inevitably people who have been around and posting regularly for a long time. Those people tend to become familiar with eachother and often like 'old friends'. It is also true that they've seen many of the issues and arguments pursued to the bitter end in the past and so can quite often respond to a 'new' issue by starting off half way through the argument - sometimes without realising they're doing it. That's called experience.
If you're new, that behaviour can give the appearance that there is a clique . However, the quality posters don't moan about it, they get on and enjoy it and make their own persona on the forum.
.

The claim that there is a clique implies that there is some sort of conspiracy - a group that 'meets privately on Tuesday nights to plot the downfall of those who are not worthy' - I think not! Forums just ain't like that.
.
Quote by Lissa
Of course there is a clique in the cafe, Ive been a member of SH for a wee while now and have found there is a barrier between newer members and the old guard, I noticed that certain long term members and mods have a habit of clamping down on free thinkers.
It can be very discouraging and in my case its rare i post much in here nowadays for fear of being shot down in flames.
thats just my point of view......

Hmm, I guess as someone who has been a member here longer than anyone else who has contributed to this thread, I qualify as 'old guard'.......................but I am not and have never been part of the clique.
Why?
I dunno. confused
Because I don't do the socials and munches maybe.
Or maybe because I don't post enough.
Who knows.
Who cares!
I will continue to post on threads that spark my interest, wether they be by oldies or newbies.
biggrin :D :D
are you agreeing that there is a bit of a clique in here?
i happen to think there is.......... if you can call it that.......
and i dont accept that to be a clique it has to be as Tune defines it...... its simply a group of like minded people who congregate in the same place....... no skull-duggery....... just that they share the same general views on things and show their views in the same way...... in this case causticly and sometimes causing upset and alienation
Quote by DeeCee
and i dont accept that to be a clique it has to be as Tune defines it...... its simply a group of like minded people who congregate in the same place....... no skull-duggery....... just that they share the same general views on things and show their views in the same way...... in this case causticly and sometimes causing upset and alienation

I think that calling the individuals that do that a clique actually bolsters their sense of self importance. They are, as you say, merely a group of individuals that enjoy putting other people down but happen to appear in the same place at the same time to back each other up. confused
Right!!
Me and Stormy have been aound these parts for nearly a year now. There are people who joined at more or less the same time as us, people who have been here since the year dot and people who have joined after us.
I think a clique may be more of a perceived thing than an actual thing. ie I do not FEEL part of a clique and would hate to be thought of as PART of one. I can connect with alot of people on here regardless of when they joined. I am not interested in who their best friends in the cafe and at munches are, I am more interested in their style of posting, their sense of humour and in their interaction with me and my posts.
QUESTION
So if YOU think there is a clique why does it upset you? do you want to be part of it? do you not want others to be in it? do you feel left out in the cold? or maybe is it something that you feel exists, but in reality does'nt?
IMO if there is a clique, let those people in it be happy as long as they are not hurting anyone. Why not try to PM a percieved clique member today? you might be surprised by the response you get.
Love
FIRE xx
'Hate' is probably too strong a word for it but I find truly cringeworthy those posts that announce that X and Y are now a couple and then go into a round of mutual 'love you loads because ...'
Month or two down the line, you get the obligatory, 'X and Y have now split up ... and I don't want to talk about it - or - I'm now in the depths of despair and need a cuddle/hug' posting ... rolleyes Have some dignity/self-respect 'man' ... wink
Not that I'm against people here matching up etc - best of luck to them I say - just find it a bit weird the need to make these announcements.
cool
Quote by northwest-cpl
and i dont accept that to be a clique it has to be as Tune defines it...... its simply a group of like minded people who congregate in the same place....... no skull-duggery....... just that they share the same general views on things and show their views in the same way...... in this case causticly and sometimes causing upset and alienation

I think that calling the individuals that do that a clique actually bolsters their sense of self importance. They are, as you say, merely a group of individuals that enjoy putting other people down but happen to appear in the same place at the same time to back each other up. confused
I agree. Calling that sort of behaviour a clique implies some sort of elitism, which is just not warranted.
That said there are some real twonks who come on here and deserve to get flamed.
The real big problem is where do you draw the line. We would all draw the line in a different place depending on our mood and also what sort of person we are.
When it comes down to it - and I think I can remember saying this about 18 months ago - it's a forum and ya gives some shit and ya takes some shit (not quite in those words) - so let's not get too precious about the whole thing. If ya don't like it you know where the door is - s'life innit!!!
.
"If ya don't like it you know where the door is - s'life innit!!! " yeah guess so, but maybe that statement explains why there are so many SH members but so few use the forums.......
Im not dissing the people who come here often, just giving my experience of why i dont use this forum as often as could. biggrin
What i hate about the forum - so many of the posts are banal and trivial mad
What i love about the forum - so many of the posts are banal and trivial biggrin
im not in a " clique "
atleast i dont think i am confused
can someone tell me if i am ?? wink
Quote by sercher01
im not in a " clique "
atleast i dont think i am confused
can someone tell me if i am ?? wink

No rolleyes
bolt
rotflmao
:shock:
sexy minx wink
i want your body redface