If any one wanted to analyse why there are limited numbers of people using the forum or what may or may notbe wrong with the forum. They would not have to go any further than this single thread.
Amongst the obvious features are hijacking of posts, aggressive language, talking about small points such as word definitions rather than the jist of the message, lack of sensitivity to others view points, lack of objectivity in discussion, self opinion before listening and perhaps a willingness to shoot before thinking? Oh and asking why you should be posting if it is so negative in some of these threads - I'd like to think I can enquire, learn and put a point of view into a melting pot despite the occasional whistling bullet or flying flak and because I want to be here and will not be bullied out of it. (Shields going up!)
The point about "cliques"whether they exist or not is that people feel they exist - even if they are wrong - we should try to find if there are real or perceived reasons for this and remove the causes where possible?
In my humble opinion one simple solution would be that moderators should step in earlier and ask people to change the way they say things or repost their point if it is becoming personal or aggressive.
well i enjoyed that, some great posts on here and also the usual rubbish, but i have to say it was really nice to read some of the unfamiliar faces comments, it always gives more of an insight into something when a "stranger" comments,
Lairdy you hit the nail on the head with one line for me......nice one...
wrats
xx
Oooh - I was wondering when the subject of the click clack (clicque) would rear its head again! It has been a subject for debate since I can remember (and before that I am sure). I remember a damn good post by Venus on the very same subject. In my opinion there will always be a perception of clicque on a forum of this size, as there is in every sphere of life. People who have "known" each other for ages will bounce off each other in a certain way, or learn to ignore threads that aren't worth getting involved in. New people may join in, or find themselves feeling isolated until they find those that they click with. Its life guys.
I don't post as much as I used to and sometimes when I come back I feel a little "isolated" - but that is becuase I haven't had a chance to get a feel for the new posters. If I stuck around long enough I may find that I click with them. I may find that I don't. No point getting upset about it. I have the choice to log in and I have the choice to reply to threads. Or I can choose to log off and not repy to any. I view it in the same way as I do my local pub. I haven't been in ages and if I walked in now the chances are I might see a few old faces, but I doubt I would fit back in in quite the same way as I used to. If I kept going back I'd start to feel more comfortable again. But I still wouldn't gel with every single group of people there. But I wouldn't stand on the bar and shout at them for being clicquey. The difference on a forum is that every view and every "conversation" is there to be viewed and "listened" to in a way that you don't get in real life - so you can get that feeling of isolation or cliqueness amplified.
And believe it or not - in real life people have different opinions and argue and flounce too.
Rsxx :color:
edit addition: Always found this a good discussion:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/33275.html?highlight=clicque
this is just my opinion,like my dad used to say" opinions are like arseholes we all have 1"
over the many years i have read many many forums from all -line and lifestyles
i think people sometimes forget that there are real people behind the words and some like me are not so great with the wriiten english langauge,and mistakes in how a sentence is put together can have the opposite effect is was meant to beand people jump on it,isnt it better to not reply at all than reply negatively and maybe hurt someone feelings,and when people are attacked in writing as some are, then the defensive mechanism takes over either in a reply or silence
As far as the "inner circle" it happens people who say it doesnt are misguided or blinkered,people do group together (this is not a bad thing),people like the familarity,they feel comfortable and at ease,but bear a thought for those that are shy,nervous,unsure perhaps these are the people that need a more of a helping hand than those that are confident and confortable,The forum is the same as the chat rooms and the meets no different(maybe on meets some of the comments are not made as fear of reprisal)
Poeple say its all about the experience and the meeting of new people,but some just like the familarity ,now these people cant be condemed for that process and peole that cant get in the :inner circle"shouldnt scream and shout but accept it as part of life as it happens everywhere work/social etc
the only thing i can say is remeber its REAL people behind these forum and consideration should be paroumaount ,i apologise for my grammar and english
My thoughts have been well documented over the past months so not going over again.
Some really interesting comments have been made though, personally I can't say I hate anything as such, dislike a few things but thats more about me than them I think... if that makes sense? I accept I differ from some and my views are not the same as some.. but does not make me a bad person for it. Tollerance is key on a site like this, some have it some don't.
Bloody good thread though, best for ages....
Mike xx
Of course there is a clique in the cafe, Ive been a member of SH for a wee while now and have found there is a barrier between newer members and the old guard, I noticed that certain long term members and mods have a habit of clamping down on free thinkers.
It can be very discouraging and in my case its rare i post much in here nowadays for fear of being shot down in flames.
thats just my point of view......
Right!!
Me and Stormy have been aound these parts for nearly a year now. There are people who joined at more or less the same time as us, people who have been here since the year dot and people who have joined after us.
I think a clique may be more of a perceived thing than an actual thing. ie I do not FEEL part of a clique and would hate to be thought of as PART of one. I can connect with alot of people on here regardless of when they joined. I am not interested in who their best friends in the cafe and at munches are, I am more interested in their style of posting, their sense of humour and in their interaction with me and my posts.
QUESTION
So if YOU think there is a clique why does it upset you? do you want to be part of it? do you not want others to be in it? do you feel left out in the cold? or maybe is it something that you feel exists, but in reality does'nt?
IMO if there is a clique, let those people in it be happy as long as they are not hurting anyone. Why not try to PM a percieved clique member today? you might be surprised by the response you get.
Love
FIRE xx
:D :D
