Have you ever had a friend, a real true friend that you trusted without question? Not a lover, yet someone you trusted with your deepest feelings, fears and loves. A friendship you valued so greatly that if it where a PLC it would out value Microsoft and you where rich beyond comprehension – because you held 50% of the shares.
It is easy to empathise with the feelings of others when sexual relationships break down, when partners/lovers split and go their own way. It is something most of us have experienced at one time or another. It is more difficult to comprehend the hole that is left when someone finds the share price of a friendship has just dropped to zero.
How does someone feel when they realise their friendship was/is not all that it seemed to be?
What if you felt your friend had not betrayed your trust with others, but was attempting to manipulate it to gain a feeling of self satisfaction? If one day you realised they had such and overwhelming need to feel needed, wanted and loved that they would use their knowledge of you to attempt to weaken you emotionally – maybe to create an emotional dependence that is not already there. What if you felt they needed you to need them and they would do whatever it took to feed that need?
How about if you discovered your friend was just going through the motions of being caring – maybe so that you would tell everyone how great they had been. What if they left you feeling that they did the right thing because society as a whole views the act as the right thing to do and not because it was a spontaneous response?
What if you felt your friend was acting a role now to shed guilt? Putting them self out to gain favour with their own ego? Or just to have another example under their belt of what a great hero they are?
What if you discovered that the person you believed you could share anything with and vice versa, now lacked the bollocks to be honest with you? Rather than being open, yet not directly lying, they just avoided the answer/explanation and when push came to shove they thought pulling a stupid face and opening their arms to hug you would make you forget and give them a diversion.
What if there were just small signs? Let’s say they brought you a bottle of red wine – that would be a nice gesture wouldn’t it? Unless you actually hated red wine and they knew that! Then what does it tell us – that they acted without thought for you at all and again where just going through the motions?
What if you could tie this all up with the things they had said and done in the past? The times they had let you down or been totally selfish, the things they had said that now just didn’t appear to be true?
What if this was only part of the picture?
I am sure that feeling this way about a once valued friend would leave a bitter taste in the mouth and the feeling of an empty hole inside.
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Friendship (the down side)
Sex God
One of the saddest threads I've read here.
There's always a balance to be struck between opening yourself up and thus possibly being hurt and being distrustful and cynical, which denies you the opportunity to benefit from a true friendship.
The only true tempering of friendship is time when it is tested and found to be good time after time, through thick and thin - and even then you can't be sure.
I'll certainly examine my motives for doing things in the future for friends - I guess it is easy to be seen as a 'false hero' if you're not careful. Always be true to yourself - I guess.
There's always a balance to be struck between opening yourself up and thus possibly being hurt and being distrustful and cynical, which denies you the opportunity to benefit from a true friendship.
The only true tempering of friendship is time when it is tested and found to be good time after time, through thick and thin - and even then you can't be sure.
I'll certainly examine my motives for doing things in the future for friends - I guess it is easy to be seen as a 'false hero' if you're not careful. Always be true to yourself - I guess.
Sex God
:cry: Bloody hell PL, that was from the heart wasn't it? I honestly don't know what I'd do. Hugs to you anyway :therethere: :therethere:
Just to be clear, this post is not intended as a plea for sympathy – far from it.
Neither is it a warning to never trust another person. A life without friends to share its ups and downs would be empty, cold and lonely.
But in reading this take a moment to think…
How do I treat the friends that have given me the most valued possession a friend can give – trust?
Do you respect the trust that has been given to you?
Do you value their friendship as highly as they value yours?
What motivates your actions towards that person in the times when they needed you as a friend? If you actions are not entirely motiveless, then consider this:
How might your actions be perceived? Be aware that perception can far outweigh intent!
Does the potential payback of your motives exceed the value of the friendship?
Are you prepared to play with matches on a wooden bridge? You may get away with a few scorched boards or the consequences may be more severe and the bridge is burnt beyond repair.
Neither is it a warning to never trust another person. A life without friends to share its ups and downs would be empty, cold and lonely.
But in reading this take a moment to think…
How do I treat the friends that have given me the most valued possession a friend can give – trust?
Do you respect the trust that has been given to you?
Do you value their friendship as highly as they value yours?
What motivates your actions towards that person in the times when they needed you as a friend? If you actions are not entirely motiveless, then consider this:
How might your actions be perceived? Be aware that perception can far outweigh intent!
Does the potential payback of your motives exceed the value of the friendship?
Are you prepared to play with matches on a wooden bridge? You may get away with a few scorched boards or the consequences may be more severe and the bridge is burnt beyond repair.
I may be missing the point of the last point, but, in all occasions, with my real friends (life long, uni friends, best mates etc) I don't think about any point in our friendships....
when we have needed each other, it has come without thinking, if anything has had to be done, it's done with out a single thought of anything else.....
True friendship is subconcious I think, and something that acts on its own, out of a respect and understanding on different levels between people.
Life's trials and tribulations do tend to point out the weak points though in this, and if there is a falter, you will soon see how good a friend you, or that other person is.
that's how I like to read it,
But really do think it is one of the most valuable things in life, and shouldn't be given up easily
dear oh dear,,,,,far too deep for me ..............right, off to write so silly imature rubbish in another thread!
when we have needed each other, it has come without thinking, if anything has had to be done, it's done with out a single thought of anything else.....
True friendship is subconcious I think, and something that acts on its own, out of a respect and understanding on different levels between people.
Life's trials and tribulations do tend to point out the weak points though in this, and if there is a falter, you will soon see how good a friend you, or that other person is.
that's how I like to read it,
But really do think it is one of the most valuable things in life, and shouldn't be given up easily
dear oh dear,,,,,far too deep for me ..............right, off to write so silly imature rubbish in another thread!
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Just to be clear, this post is not intended as a plea for sympathy – far from it.
Neither is it a warning to never trust another person. A life without friends to share its ups and downs would be empty, cold and lonely.
But in reading this take a moment to think…
How do I treat the friends that have given me the most valued possession a friend can give – trust?
Do you respect the trust that has been given to you?
Do you value their friendship as highly as they value yours?
What motivates your actions towards that person in the times when they needed you as a friend? If you actions are not entirely motiveless, then consider this:
How might your actions be perceived? Be aware that perception can far outweigh intent!
Does the potential payback of your motives exceed the value of the friendship?
Are you prepared to play with matches on a wooden bridge? You may get away with a few scorched boards or the consequences may be more severe and the bridge is burnt beyond repair.
Too much analysis for me girl I'm afraid.
Spooky post for me. I'm seeing changes in the behaviour of my best mate at the moment. Not exactly what you describe but there are resonances. And I've been thinking a lot about it. Sometimes I wanted to walk away. But I think her behaviour to me is as a result of other huge changes that are going on in her life. I think she's taking her anger out on me but at the same time wants me to stay. (She'll yell at me and then touch me.)
I'm going to hang on in for a bit - ride the storm.
But if a friendship has changed or died then I think it's OK to walk away. There will be others.
Jezzay.
I'm going to hang on in for a bit - ride the storm.
But if a friendship has changed or died then I think it's OK to walk away. There will be others.
Jezzay.
Quote by marmalaid
Read all about it, Chris fucks up without realising it again.
:cry:
Yeah, just ignore him, he'll make you feel good then piss on your bonfire, all he wants is to get one over on you, just massage his own ego.
Offers everything, delivers a bit and then closes the curtains.
Tell you what, let's stab him, give everyone a corpse to step over.
