Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
fuming mad!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by Banderas
Not really...........its just the closest thing I could think of that relates to anything that might piss me off.
Right so people being pissed off with life doesn't piss you off? How come you wrote "the below then?
Quote by Banderas
What pisses me off the most is how people get pissed off at life itself, everything I have just read in this thread is "Life"
Just an observation.... not attacking you or anything.
Obviously my sarcasm doesn't translate very well on here.
Sex God
Quote by onlyme1981
Not really...........its just the closest thing I could think of that relates to anything that might piss me off.
Right so people being pissed off with life doesn't piss you off? How come you wrote "the below then?
Quote by Banderas
What pisses me off the most is how people get pissed off at life itself, everything I have just read in this thread is "Life"
Just an observation.... not attacking you or anything.
Obviously my sarcasm doesn't translate very well on here.
Sarcasm, on this site
Orgasminator
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Not really...........its just the closest thing I could think of that relates to anything that might piss me off.
Right so people being pissed off with life doesn't piss you off? How come you wrote "the below then?
Quote by Banderas
What pisses me off the most is how people get pissed off at life itself, everything I have just read in this thread is "Life"
Just an observation.... not attacking you or anything.
Obviously my sarcasm doesn't translate very well on here.
Sarcasm, on this site
Ooops, I forgot Sir (
).... won't happen again. :twisted: Quote by Banderas
Ok, sorry. When I said "What pisses me off the most...", I used that "entry" line to get into the thread, just to contribute my feelings(I thought thats how it worked...sorry).
When I wrote "Not realy...", It was my way of explaining my first post. Apologies for being disjointed.
Don't apologise.... glad to see you've learned your lesson though. (Joke!)
Oops, I did it again didn't I?! :doh: :grin:
Most people know me as an amiable, joking sort of peron who don't take life too seriously but if there's one thing that REALLY hacks me off it's the drivers who think ROUNDabouts don't fucking exist!!!
They're not called Straightonabouts or fecking cutmeupabouts . they're called fucking ROUNDabouts!!! ... You go ROUND them!!!!
Picture the scene: I am in the right hand lane - COZ I AM TURNING FECKING RIGHT! - and shit-for-brains is in the left hand lane - and he doesn't fecking know where he's going! I'm indicating RIGHT, he's indicating fuck all.
We both set off at the same time, same speed, I approach the ROUNDabout positioned perfectly to turn RIGHT - and the next thing I know turd bollox has stuck his car in front of mine - COZ HE'S GOING STRAIGHT ON AND HAS CLAIMED RIGHT OF WAY!!! He then motors off happily giving me the middle finger salute coz I have just beeped him and I am sitting there in the middle of the roundabout with cars approaching from my right with a bemused-what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-prat expression on their faces!
BASTARD!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR
Now, this thing about duvet covers, listen carefully coz I shall say zis only vunce:
Wishmaster's 12-point plan for driving yourself mentally insane:
1). When you take the dirty one off, deliberately turn it inside out (I'll explain why later)
2). Load dirty cover in washing machine, switch it on and fuck off and do something else for six days (it will sit in there fermenting coz you forgot about it and then it stinks like shit and you gotta wash it again!)
3). Take your freshly washed-six-times and dried like cardboard duvet cover back to the bedroom and look at the bed forlornly wishing you now didn't have to do what you know you must.
4). Put your hands in your inside-out duvet cover (told ya - saves time) and gather the cover up your arms till you find the corners at the other end of the opening.
5). Scream!!! - (Fuck, shit, bollox - all or any, my favourite is Wanker!!!)
6). You have just realised that the duvet is in a heap and you don't know where the corners are. So.......... take arms out of duvet cover trying carefully to arrange it so that you can put your arms back in it easily finding the corners again (this never works by the way) - Now arrange the duvet so that you can pick it up by the corners with your duvet cover back on your arms.
7). Put your arms back in the duvet cover that you arranged in Step 6 - Yell, 'Fucker!' and relocate the corners of the cover again.
8). Grab the corners of the duvet with the corners of the duvet cover and shake it violently until your brow starts to sweat, you get palpitations and realise that you just ain't tall enough for this job and wish you'd bought a baboon instead of a cat.
9). Throw the reassembled duvet + cover on the bed LENGTHWAYS and go and make a cup of coffee (You need calming and don't say you don't coz you do)
10). Go back to the bedroom and start fastening the poppers REMEMBERING that one fell off last time and you only have to wash this one four more times till all the poppers have come off and you can throw it away.
11). Shake your now perfectly assembled Duvet so that its nice and even, arrange it on the bed in a nice orderly way and deliberatley forget to put your pillows on your side of the bed (pisses the wife off - or used to when I was married coz she liked soft pillows and I prefer hard ones ... hehehe)
12). TA DA!! - Job Done!
Piece of piss.
They're not called Straightonabouts or fecking cutmeupabouts . they're called fucking ROUNDabouts!!! ... You go ROUND them!!!!
Picture the scene: I am in the right hand lane - COZ I AM TURNING FECKING RIGHT! - and shit-for-brains is in the left hand lane - and he doesn't fecking know where he's going! I'm indicating RIGHT, he's indicating fuck all.
We both set off at the same time, same speed, I approach the ROUNDabout positioned perfectly to turn RIGHT - and the next thing I know turd bollox has stuck his car in front of mine - COZ HE'S GOING STRAIGHT ON AND HAS CLAIMED RIGHT OF WAY!!! He then motors off happily giving me the middle finger salute coz I have just beeped him and I am sitting there in the middle of the roundabout with cars approaching from my right with a bemused-what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-prat expression on their faces!
BASTARD!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR
Now, this thing about duvet covers, listen carefully coz I shall say zis only vunce:
Wishmaster's 12-point plan for driving yourself mentally insane:
1). When you take the dirty one off, deliberately turn it inside out (I'll explain why later)
2). Load dirty cover in washing machine, switch it on and fuck off and do something else for six days (it will sit in there fermenting coz you forgot about it and then it stinks like shit and you gotta wash it again!)
3). Take your freshly washed-six-times and dried like cardboard duvet cover back to the bedroom and look at the bed forlornly wishing you now didn't have to do what you know you must.
4). Put your hands in your inside-out duvet cover (told ya - saves time) and gather the cover up your arms till you find the corners at the other end of the opening.
5). Scream!!! - (Fuck, shit, bollox - all or any, my favourite is Wanker!!!)
6). You have just realised that the duvet is in a heap and you don't know where the corners are. So.......... take arms out of duvet cover trying carefully to arrange it so that you can put your arms back in it easily finding the corners again (this never works by the way) - Now arrange the duvet so that you can pick it up by the corners with your duvet cover back on your arms.
7). Put your arms back in the duvet cover that you arranged in Step 6 - Yell, 'Fucker!' and relocate the corners of the cover again.
8). Grab the corners of the duvet with the corners of the duvet cover and shake it violently until your brow starts to sweat, you get palpitations and realise that you just ain't tall enough for this job and wish you'd bought a baboon instead of a cat.
9). Throw the reassembled duvet + cover on the bed LENGTHWAYS and go and make a cup of coffee (You need calming and don't say you don't coz you do)
10). Go back to the bedroom and start fastening the poppers REMEMBERING that one fell off last time and you only have to wash this one four more times till all the poppers have come off and you can throw it away.
11). Shake your now perfectly assembled Duvet so that its nice and even, arrange it on the bed in a nice orderly way and deliberatley forget to put your pillows on your side of the bed (pisses the wife off - or used to when I was married coz she liked soft pillows and I prefer hard ones ... hehehe)
12). TA DA!! - Job Done!
Piece of piss.
Orgasminator
Quote by Wishmaster
Wishmaster's 12-point plan for driving yourself mentally insane:
1). When you take the dirty one off, deliberately turn it inside out (I'll explain why later)
2). Load dirty cover in washing machine, switch it on and fuck off and do something else for six days (it will sit in there fermenting coz you forgot about it and then it stinks like shit and you gotta wash it again!)
3). Take your freshly washed-six-times and dried like cardboard duvet cover back to the bedroom and look at the bed forlornly wishing you now didn't have to do what you know you must.
4). Put your hands in your inside-out duvet cover (told ya - saves time) and gather the cover up your arms till you find the corners at the other end of the opening.
5). Scream!!! - (Fuck, shit, bollox - all or any, my favourite is Wanker!!!)
6). You have just realised that the duvet is in a heap and you don't know where the corners are. So.......... take arms out of duvet cover trying carefully to arrange it so that you can put your arms back in it easily finding the corners again (this never works by the way) - Now arrange the duvet so that you can pick it up by the corners with your duvet cover back on your arms.
7). Put your arms back in the duvet cover that you arranged in Step 6 - Yell, 'Fucker!' and relocate the corners of the cover again.
8). Grab the corners of the duvet with the corners of the duvet cover and shake it violently until your brow starts to sweat, you get palpitations and realise that you just ain't tall enough for this job and wish you'd bought a baboon instead of a cat.
9). Throw the reassembled duvet + cover on the bed LENGTHWAYS and go and make a cup of coffee (You need calming and don't say you don't coz you do)
10). Go back to the bedroom and start fastening the poppers REMEMBERING that one fell off last time and you only have to wash this one four more times till all the poppers have come off and you can throw it away.
11). Shake your now perfectly assembled Duvet so that its nice and even, arrange it on the bed in a nice orderly way and deliberatley forget to put your pillows on your side of the bed (pisses the wife off - or used to when I was married coz she liked soft pillows and I prefer hard ones ... hehehe)
12). TA DA!! - Job Done!
Piece of piss.
later........
, coooeeeee Wishmaster... I'm waiting 
Quote by tattyxpx
Wishmaster's 12-point plan for driving yourself mentally insane:
1). When you take the dirty one off, deliberately turn it inside out (I'll explain why later)
2). Load dirty cover in washing machine, switch it on and fuck off and do something else for six days (it will sit in there fermenting coz you forgot about it and then it stinks like shit and you gotta wash it again!)
3). Take your freshly washed-six-times and dried like cardboard duvet cover back to the bedroom and look at the bed forlornly wishing you now didn't have to do what you know you must.
4). Put your hands in your inside-out duvet cover (told ya - saves time) and gather the cover up your arms till you find the corners at the other end of the opening.
5). Scream!!! - (Fuck, shit, bollox - all or any, my favourite is Wanker!!!)
6). You have just realised that the duvet is in a heap and you don't know where the corners are. So.......... take arms out of duvet cover trying carefully to arrange it so that you can put your arms back in it easily finding the corners again (this never works by the way) - Now arrange the duvet so that you can pick it up by the corners with your duvet cover back on your arms.
7). Put your arms back in the duvet cover that you arranged in Step 6 - Yell, 'Fucker!' and relocate the corners of the cover again.
8). Grab the corners of the duvet with the corners of the duvet cover and shake it violently until your brow starts to sweat, you get palpitations and realise that you just ain't tall enough for this job and wish you'd bought a baboon instead of a cat.
9). Throw the reassembled duvet + cover on the bed LENGTHWAYS and go and make a cup of coffee (You need calming and don't say you don't coz you do)
10). Go back to the bedroom and start fastening the poppers REMEMBERING that one fell off last time and you only have to wash this one four more times till all the poppers have come off and you can throw it away.
11). Shake your now perfectly assembled Duvet so that its nice and even, arrange it on the bed in a nice orderly way and deliberatley forget to put your pillows on your side of the bed (pisses the wife off - or used to when I was married coz she liked soft pillows and I prefer hard ones ... hehehe)
12). TA DA!! - Job Done!
Piece of piss.
later........
, coooeeeee Wishmaster... I'm waiting Ya donut... see Point 4........ God!... Women!!! ... hehehe
Quote by Happy Cats
Postmen!
:thumbup: :thumbup:
Priests
ive just had me degree certificate and graduation pictures delivered in two envelopes that clearly state do not bend.. so of cousre they were folded and forced through the letterbox.
lovely crease running up the centre of them all now.
Mod
followed All in structions as set out by wishy heheehe 
but ........................i cant do the fecking poppers up cos they melted in me tumble dryer
too hot me finks . doh i knew i shoulda had that second coffee
feck feck feck
where is me blanket ?
mmmmmmm wonder if anyone takes in laundry or does ironing
but ........................i cant do the fecking poppers up cos they melted in me tumble dryer
too hot me finks . doh i knew i shoulda had that second coffee
feck feck feck
where is me blanket ?
mmmmmmm wonder if anyone takes in laundry or does ironing
Quote by postie
For some bizarre reason, and normally being quite a placid kind of person (unless you get me onto politics) I find I can really get infuriated with the stupidest things. Just wondering how common my pet hates are and what really, really makes you livid? Not just miffed, or cross.... but shouty sweary kick the cat mental apeshit mad.
Two things that have really bugged me lately:
Duvet covers!Bloody satanic they are. I hate them, the person who invented them is evil and twisted. Why make the hole you are putting the duvet in through, only half the width of the duvet??? And those stupid little poppers! There's always one you miss. And duvet covers kidnap socks in the washing machine. And then putting the cover back on the duvet... you need three arms, each 6 feet long.
And the very worst thing about duvet covers ... women can stuff a duvet into its cover in the time it takes you to say " fecking duvet must be broken or summat... let's get the blankets out of the loft"..
And I detest caravans!
No i don't actually hate caravans. It's the people who hook them up to cars and tootle about the roads for the simple reason they like seeing loads of cars in the side mirrors. No other reason at all. They even buy those specialist mirrors that are bigger, so they can get a proper look at how many different cars they are pissing off. And they drive at 49 and a half miles an hour, in a 60mph zone, until..... they know you can overtake on a nice straight bit with no oncoming traffic..... and then they zip up to 75mph... until they know you can't get by. Bastards. :x:x
And if you can afford a caravan and a flash car to tug it along the highways and byways.... why don't you spend that money on going somewhere nice... and not clutter up the main roadway to Filey! Muppets.....
So.... what makes you turn into a psycopathic nutter???
People who drive right up behind my horse and i when out riding in the lanes... they can clearly see he doesn't like it... his hind quarters swing into the road and his ears are back... bloody idiots... must be so sad not to have a brain........
I dont lose my temper very often... roughly every couple of years or so... but when i do... take cover..... lol
equi-princess xxx
Sex God
Quote by fluffer
Postmen!
:thumbup: :thumbup:
Priests
ive just had me degree certificate and graduation pictures delivered in two envelopes that clearly state do not bend.. so of cousre they were folded and forced through the letterbox.
lovely crease running up the centre of them all now.
i'm thinking of a word, it begins with C, it's
COMPENSATION
Got to go on an arse kicking quest with them myself as they didn't deliver my Sorn reminder for the Jag, so i got a £40 fine (bastards had no trouble delivering this did they :taz: ) after several phone calls and letters to the ever helpful DVLA i've got a 'computer says we sent a reminder now pay the fine bitch' response (i could do a whole rant just on government departments and the coucil but....) FFS its not rocket science, the DVLA office is only 10 miles away and you've lost the letter in that time you useless bastards, you're nearly as bad as Parcel Farce who managed to loose a 3ft x 2ft x 2ft box weighing 25kg and 6 months later im still waiting for the money i lost despite several calls and emails. FECKERS :kick:
Warming the Bed
Quote by Shireen_Mids
We have a caravan....... And the one thing that pisses us off more than anything is the stupid twats that think they can jump in a small space in front of you when you are coming up to a roundabout.... Fully laden the car and van are ... It dont stop on a fecking sixpence.....
Now this I know!!....When dad and I are going racing, we have a motorhome and a van, both with trailers and race cars on...all up we reckon near on 7.5 tonnes (train weight) each....and some knob in a souped up shopping trolley always decides to "sneak in" just before a roundabout/traffic lights or any other place he/she can cause maximum disruption. Trying to stop 7.5 tonnes is no mean feat, and I'm sure that his/hers pathetic tin box is going to provide zero resistance if we plowed into the back of it (have been tempted once or twice, to just give em a nudge!)
Other things, in no particular order:
Trucks that overtake on the motorway, when they have a 1/2 mile an hour speed differential. You should all be doing 56mph, so bloody stay in the nearside lane!
BMW/Mercedes/Audi/VW/Volvo drivers that think; A They own the road; B. Are completely baffled by the concept of indicators. If the whole concept of driving and/or using the equipment supplied in modern cars, confuses these F**kwits, then give them their bus passes now!
People who read whilst driving , I see this everyday, mostly maps or office documents. Maybe it's just me, but the longer I can stay away from or have to think about work, the better. They don't pay me enough to want to be on the phone, reading a sales chart or reading a map.
Dripping taps
People who say they will do something, then don't! That includes phone calls, emails, meetings, etc, etc, etc...I'm ok with the fact that some people like to waste the time they have on this panet and that's fine.....just don't waste MINE!
Mates or family members that only contact you when THEY want something! We all have these...no, Hi mate, long time no see, what's going on with you?....rather....Hi mate, look sorry to disturb you, but I've been a wanker and (insert name) has found out what I've been doing, any chance I can doss at yours for a few nights......
Which leads me onto......
The "friend" that asks to stay a few nights....and 3 months later is still here!!..
Just to conclude the friend staying item. After many polite request and hints, a firm but distinct "Get your shit and f**koff" has done the trick....
Grumpy Old Man......you bet your ass I am!!.....
Sex God
Arrrrgggghhhh! caravans, the feckers get in the way of everything!
Orgasminator
Ok I've got one:
People who invite me out somewhere where smoking is permitted, and then make snide comments or start coughing when I light up.
They bloody well know I smoke, if it's that offensive to them why do they bother asking me in the first place?
and another one, which may well get me flamed - anti-smoking campaigners.
Do they really have nothing better to do with their lives than spend time and energy trying to tell other people how to live theirs?
I happen to know that smoking is not particularly good for you, though how bad it really is is difficult to tell since any research that shows it's anything but incredibly dangerous or a bad thing is suppressed and rubbished by people who ought to know better (from the WHO downwards). I wouldn't mind so much if they devoted the same amount of time and energy to other sources of air pollution, but as it is I feel like I'm being picked on as an easy target, and consequentially go out of my way to ignore them.
People who invite me out somewhere where smoking is permitted, and then make snide comments or start coughing when I light up.
They bloody well know I smoke, if it's that offensive to them why do they bother asking me in the first place?
and another one, which may well get me flamed - anti-smoking campaigners.
Do they really have nothing better to do with their lives than spend time and energy trying to tell other people how to live theirs?
I happen to know that smoking is not particularly good for you, though how bad it really is is difficult to tell since any research that shows it's anything but incredibly dangerous or a bad thing is suppressed and rubbished by people who ought to know better (from the WHO downwards). I wouldn't mind so much if they devoted the same amount of time and energy to other sources of air pollution, but as it is I feel like I'm being picked on as an easy target, and consequentially go out of my way to ignore them.
i have long hair so dont wash it daily, and when i do it smells nice and clean as it falls about my face... so if i go out and someone blows cigarette smoke on me within hours of washing me hair...gggrrrrr.....all i can smell after that is smoke until i wash my hair next!
i sympathise dp.. but there;s two sides pet
i sympathise dp.. but there;s two sides pet
spitting....... there's a time and a place........ and that isn't teenage girls walking down the street trying desperately hard to act all grown up, fag in one hand, bottle of cider in the other, spitting on the footpath
oh, and while i'm on about it, spitting at people a la El Hadj Diouf and Frank Rijkaard..... nothing worse than that......I remember a fleeing shoplifter spitting at me, I was bleeding fuming :boxing:
oh, and while i'm on about it, spitting at people a la El Hadj Diouf and Frank Rijkaard..... nothing worse than that......I remember a fleeing shoplifter spitting at me, I was bleeding fuming :boxing:
Orgasminator
Quote by fluffer
i have long hair so dont wash it daily, and when i do it smells nice and clean as it falls about my face... so if i go out and someone blows cigarette smoke on me within hours of washing me hair...gggrrrrr.....all i can smell after that is smoke until i wash my hair next!
i sympathise dp.. but there;s two sides pet
Well yes, I don't intentionally blow smoke at people, I just wish people didn't view me as some sort of leper just because I happen to smoke a few roll ups when I'm out enjoying myself, especially when the same people drive huge SUVs or similar than pollute the air I breathe to a far greater extent than I ever will by lighting up.
Quote by Deviated Prevert
i have long hair so dont wash it daily, and when i do it smells nice and clean as it falls about my face... so if i go out and someone blows cigarette smoke on me within hours of washing me hair...gggrrrrr.....all i can smell after that is smoke until i wash my hair next!
i sympathise dp.. but there;s two sides pet
Well yes, I don't intentionally blow smoke at people, I just wish people didn't view me as some sort of leper just because I happen to smoke a few roll ups when I'm out enjoying myself, especially when the same people drive huge SUVs or similar than pollute the air I breathe to a far greater extent than I ever will by lighting up.
i am an ex smoker tho...so nothing worse that a reformed they say! sorry.
oh dont get me started on those huge things people drive to the local shops! my friend owns one and i hate it! he parked outside my house once and i thought the clouds had gathered as my living room went so dark.
One thing guaranteed to turn me into a psychopathic nutter is coming back to my car after shopping in Tesco's and finding yet another dent in the side of it just because people can't teach their kids any respect or consideration for other people's property
My biggest total lose it though, was finding that some git had dumped their shopping basket on the boot and made a major dent and scratch on the vents and then buggered off without so much as a 'sorry' note :x :x :x
Now I either send Kat to Tesco's or park in the remotest corner of the car park
just because people can't teach their kids any respect or consideration for other people's property My biggest total lose it though, was finding that some git had dumped their shopping basket on the boot and made a major dent and scratch on the vents and then buggered off without so much as a 'sorry' note :x :x :x
Now I either send Kat to Tesco's or park in the remotest corner of the car park
Quote by Dino.they`re just bad shots, missed you and hit the footpath instead
teenage girls walking down the street spitting on the footpath
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink:Dino, who rattled your cage
Just got sent a couple of pics from the Leeds Festival you was at..........
I think you got a bit confused when Hornyred said 'don't forget to pack everything'
:wink: :wink:
:)Hijack over
Sex God
Quote by Happy Cats
Sunday Drivers
Grass Growing
Can openers
Hangovers
Hoovering
Sandy Sandwiches
Nazis
Commies
Celebrity chefs
Adverts
Fishing
Wind
Mending fences
Cooking
Teenagers
Rats
B.O
Weeds on your patio
Robbie Savage
Bullies
Computers
Nagging
Moles
Headaches
Queues
Pixies
Spam
Pot holes
Cucumbers
Marmite
Christmas
Big knickers
Cardies
Wasps
Sea Water
Smelly toilets
Nettles
Flying
Hurricanes
Bendy Roads
Dog poo
Pop Corn
fuckin hell postie.....you miserable git, thats a shit load of hate :shock: , can't see why we are bothering to sentence young offenders when we could punish em by just getting them to spend christmas round at yours.
Quote by davej
Happy Cats"]Sunday Drivers
Grass Growing
Can openers
Hangovers
Hoovering
Sandy Sandwiches
Nazis
Commies
Celebrity chefs
Adverts
Fishing
Wind
Mending fences
Cooking
Teenagers
Rats
B.O
Weeds on your patio
Robbie Savage
Bullies
Computers
Nagging
Moles
Headaches
Queues
Pixies
Spam
Pot holes
Cucumbers
Marmite
Christmas
Big knickers
Cardies
Wasps
Sea Water
Smelly toilets
Nettles
Flying
Hurricanes
Bendy Roads
Dog poo
Pop Corn
fuckin hell postie.....you miserable git, thats a shit load of hate :shock: , can't see why we are bothering to sentence young offenders when we could punish em by just getting them to spend christmas round at yours.
erm....Dave..... edit required quick before he sees it
Sex God
ooops