I want my wife to get on the swinging scene and have discussed this a lot with her but she still says not interested. However when we talk about it she does show a genuine interest that gives me the impression that she would enjoy it and just needs a little nudge in the right direction. We are going away this weekend to an hotel for anniversary and I was thinking of setting up a scenario where someone chats her up while I am away in the loo or at the bar. If I leave them long enough it may work out that she gets nterested and we then have the fun that deep down we have longed for. Thoughts on this greatly appreciated
You need to remember the cardinal rule: NO MEANS NO! If she says she's not interested then setting her up will likely end a number of things - including your manhood. And it's unlikely that anyone trustworthy would want to be party to that subterfuge, or it's fallout. ;) If you genuinely think she might be harbouring a desire then talk to her again, but don't labour the point or you'll just cause friction.
Quote by jigglenut I want my wife to get on the swinging scene and have discussed this a lot with her but she still says not interested. However when we talk about it she does show a genuine interest that gives me the impression that she would enjoy it and just needs a little nudge in the right direction. We are going away this weekend to an hotel for anniversary and I was thinking of setting up a scenario where someone chats her up while I am away in the loo or at the bar. If I leave them long enough it may work out that she gets nterested and we then have the fun that deep down we have longed for. Thoughts on this greatly appreciated
But you still plan to set her up without her knowledge ? Happy Anniversary
Even if you do manage to persuade some gullible guy to take part in this chat-up scenario idea, it is fraught with dangers. If things go wrong the guy could even end up on an assault charge, then the whole story could become public. The main thing is that you chat with your wife honestly, and accept her answer as what she really feels, not try to interpret things through your own wishful thinking.
She seems to have expressed a curiousity about THE IDEA of swinging but not ACTUALLY SAID SHE WANTS TO ACTUALLY DO IT!!!!!! Enjoy your anniversary with her and be grateful you have a good loving wife who wants you and only you. I know all about divorce and the pain of being alone after, don't risk it with your marriage, just accept that unless she says she wants to she won't swing!!!!!!!!
Take small steps, you don't say what her general attitude to sex is, but you have to go at a pace that she sets.. Have you ever been watched , or put yourself in a position to be.. Little things like that will make her curious.. If it doesn't , just accept that it's not meant to be, I did that 15 Years ago , and now we are trying again at mrs t's suggestion .
Take note of what ben says. Talk to your wife about your own fantasies, and be sure of whether you actually want to indulge or you just wish to fantasise. There can't really be any other advice until such time as you confide in your partner.
Tell her your on a swingers site first, I mean if she does give it a chance, she is going to wonder why you have been on here for nearly a year already.
Quote by Mr-Powers Tell her your on a swingers site first, I mean if she does give it a chance, she is going to wonder why you have been on here for nearly a year already.
- Agree-love to know how you go on I have been in the same position for a while
We agree with all that's been said but one thing we would mention is to ensure she knows about all the different levels of swinging. We still meet people from time to time who thing swinging is still the whole car-keys in the bowl type of thing. Swinging can be as mild as just partying with a group of likeminded sexually liberal people - there doesn't need to be any touching or even any displaying. Make it clear to your wife that her boundaries will always be honoured. We think that starting off in the very mild arena and then working up to the level you're both comfortable with is the way to go. Having her seduced in a pub, on her own, by an unknown guy, with an expectation of sex on the first night seems very hazardous to us. Good luck.
You've lots of good suggestions - how did you get on? I wonder how much you go out together vanilla, and if you're both happy doing that then before you venture to a club/other situation have you considered introducing something more erotic/fun but non-threatening by going to something like a Burlesque club? As many have said you both have to enjoy yourselves and feel comfortable at your pace, and if one of you doesn't, time to think again? Consider the reverse situation: she wants you to be the host at a tupperware party or book club full of strangers... How comfortable would you feel? Mr. M
Quote by jigglenut I want my wife to get on the swinging scene and have discussed this a lot with her but she still says not interested.
Well I think you've managed to sum up your issue right there in your opening line. You want her to. She doesn't want to. I personally think you are a fantasist.
My ex continually tried to push his cuckold fantasies... but was never interested in mine, eventually it just got too much and now he is my ex! Be careful what you wish for...maybe your wife will find that stranger irresistible and you'll end up with an ex wife rather than the loving one you already have. There are plenty of other ways to spice up your sex life..but mostly they should be about what you both want, not just one of you.
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