Sex God
Talk to her, not us. Always better to discuss it with the people who matter really.
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getting the wife to swing happily
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Sex God
Quote by freckledbird
Talk to her, not us. Always better to discuss it with the people who matter really.
This is it in a nutshell
(Fer FB ) I've done it - and it all depends on yer circumstances. 
Sex God
Quote by rictic
how can i get my sexy wife to swing, any ideasshe did it once, witha mate of mine 6 years ago, done a couple of bjs and 3 wanks , nothing for a while, any ideas?
Pick up the phone and invite your mate round again
Mr Tweeky
Orgasminator
Quote by rictic
how can i get my sexy wife to swing, any ideasshe did it once, witha mate of mine 6 years ago, done a couple of bjs and 3 wanks , nothing for a while, any ideas?
With a name like rictic and looking at your age... I'm guessing you're into Northern?
The most common advice is to talk - I have even given that advice in the past... but it is not actually the best advice.
In a situation such as this - where one party (especially the male) wants to get their partner to swing and are told they need to talk to their partner, the likelyhood is they will go off and speak - but rather than actually talking they will be attempting to persuade (all be it subtly in most cases). I say this as one party has already decided they want it to happen - it is not that both parties begin to consider the matter at te same time.
The best advice is to LISTEN.
In a situation such as this - where one party (especially the male) wants to get their partner to swing and are told they need to talk to their partner, the likelyhood is they will go off and speak - but rather than actually talking they will be attempting to persuade (all be it subtly in most cases). I say this as one party has already decided they want it to happen - it is not that both parties begin to consider the matter at te same time.
The best advice is to LISTEN.
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
The most common advice is to talk - I have even given that advice in the past... but it is not actually the best advice.
In a situation such as this - where one party (especially the male) wants to get their partner to swing and are told they need to talk to their partner, the likelyhood is they will go off and speak - but rather than actually talking they will be attempting to persuade (all be it subtly in most cases). I say this as one party has already decided they want it to happen - it is not that both parties begin to consider the matter at te same time.
The best advice is to LISTEN.
Don't we mean have a conversation. There's no point in listening to a deafening silence. The important bit of advice - as Polo says, is don't persuade - you've really got to be mature enough to take 'No' for an answer.
Quote by westerross
The most common advice is to talk - I have even given that advice in the past... but it is not actually the best advice.
In a situation such as this - where one party (especially the male) wants to get their partner to swing and are told they need to talk to their partner, the likelyhood is they will go off and speak - but rather than actually talking they will be attempting to persuade (all be it subtly in most cases). I say this as one party has already decided they want it to happen - it is not that both parties begin to consider the matter at te same time.
The best advice is to LISTEN.
Don't we mean have a conversation. There's no point in listening to a deafening silence. The important bit of advice - as Polo says, is don't persuade - you've really got to be mature enough to take 'No' for an answer.
I am sorry I forgot I was expected to spell it out for all of the complete morons who would not understand I meant 'listen' to the replies you get - yes you do need to raise the subject in the first place.
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Don't we mean have a conversation. There's no point in listening to a deafening silence. The important bit of advice - as Polo says, is don't persuade - you've really got to be mature enough to take 'No' for an answer.
I am sorry I forgot I was expected to spell it out for all of the complete morons who would not understand I meant 'listen' to the replies you get - yes you do need to raise the subject in the first place.
Oi! I wasn't being pedantic - well no more than distinguishing between listening and talking
- merely pointing out that we are all saying the same thing.OK I'm going
Quote by westerross
The important bit of advice - as Polo says, is don't persuade - you've really got to be mature enough to take 'No' for an answer.
From any couple we've talked to on the scene, their entrance into the scene has been the result of one of them wanting to swing. It is extremely unlikely that both partners have the idea "let's go swinging" at exactly the same time.
There is surely a difference between persuading and badgering. If we all accepted No first time, then unless, as a partnership, we were identical in our tastes and desires, then there would be little room for compromise.
I have lost count of the number of times that one or other of us has changed our minds about something the other wanted. Last year mrs northwest wanted to go to a festival, I didn't. I said, "No", but she didn't let it drop. She persuaded me that it would be good. She overcame my prejudices against it with reasoned arguements. I changed my mind and we had a great time.
About 10 years ago, I wanted to try swinging. Mrs northwest said, "No." Over the next 4 years I brought the subject up again several times, I did not let it drop. Eventually, the force of my obvious strongly felt desire to try something 'persuaded' her to give it a go. To cut a long story short, over the last 6 years we have hardly missed a weekend at a club and anyone who knows us, or has seen us play, knows that mrs northwest is not going along to 'keep me happy.'
There is not one route into swinging. We all take our own paths. Some are more direct than others, but the perceived wisdom on here is that there appears to be only one way to go. That is clearly not the case. Taking it as read that there is respect, mutual understanding, love etc within the relationship, then decisions are usually made by one person having the idea and 'persuading' the other to agree. It is the way that we might 'persuade' that can cause the difficulties.
So, to the original question, You know your wife better than us. If she has swung before then she might have reasons for not wanting to do it again. Talk, listen, persuade even, but always be aware that ultimately she might not want to do it again. Only you will know at what point to give up because only you know your wife.
