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GFZ - quiet weekend ahead!
Sex God
Here sez I Kit !!! 
:wink: :wink:
Heaven to have the men in wenches outfits and sucumbing :twisted:
GFZ belongs to the Girlies tonight :twisted: :twisted:
where's Jags ?
:wink: :wink: Heaven to have the men in wenches outfits and sucumbing :twisted:
GFZ belongs to the Girlies tonight :twisted: :twisted:
where's Jags ?
Sex God
But mrs FC I aint no youngster these days and well.... you now how it is. these legs in stockings isnt the nicest thing what with my veins... I tend to look like yer christmas tree did... you know when they come from the shop in them nets....sort of very lumpy with bits poking through....
davej goes to the bog to do as he is told checks in the mirror and thinks that he looks a prat in them especially cos he is wearing his Snoopy boxer shorts but hey ho......
davej goes to the bog to do as he is told checks in the mirror and thinks that he looks a prat in them especially cos he is wearing his Snoopy boxer shorts but hey ho......
Sex God
Hey davej........ strip them bl*****dy boxer shorts off. Ladies hipster shorts are more flatering Your stockings will go with them. 
As for your veins, just wear black stockings. :wink:
Your stockings will go with them. As for your veins, just wear black stockings. :wink:
Sex God
davej wonders how you wear hipsters when you aint got no hips these days shrugs his shoulders and goes back to the bog...
Sex God
davej puts on the thermal stockings in the bog and tries to walk back out realises that they are that tight and stiff that he is walking like Hercule Poiriot and goes back to ther bog
:lol: Sex God
davj looks dejectedly in the mirror and wonders why all the other guys are hiding, thinks to himself that its gonna take several friends and a tow truck to get these panties outa his arse crack, sucks in his stomach and totters out in the still too tight stockings that corrie gave him which make bending his knees impossible.....he is still walking like Hercule but with the pain of the tight panties he now looks like a man who is only minutes away from needing the toilet....
Evening again ladies...
Evening again ladies...
Sex God
hmmm no reply have I upset them....why are they holding their hands over their mouths.....why are their shoulders heaving up and down ....perhaps they have all eaten something horrible.... why are there wet stains where they are sitting....
Sgt Bilko comes in after a 13 hour shift, looking forward to sharing a beer or two with the good men of Swinging Heaven, safe in the knowledge that the GFZ will be Girlie Free so we can talk footie, breasts, beer and cooking(?) without fear of interruption.
Uses his swipe card to open the door and thinks "Thank god we installed this security measure to keep those Pesky Girlies out." Opens the door and walks in.
Hello Guys............ WTF??????
Goes back outside to check it is the right building. Did I pop into the Hmm Hmm by mistake? No I'm in the right place. Right now I'm angry.
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Heads back to the door. Now where's that Swipe Card?? Oh Bollocky Balls!!!TM Sgt Bilko 2004, it's on the table just inside the door!!! Now I'm angrier than the Head Angry Bloke at Angry Blokes r Us!! :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Taps on the door, knowing that no one can hear me because of the fire door after the main door. Chuffin Fred. Why did he insist on that chuffin fire door??
"Guys. Let me in guys. I promise not to be too angry when I get in. Please guys!!!!
Uses his swipe card to open the door and thinks "Thank god we installed this security measure to keep those Pesky Girlies out." Opens the door and walks in.
Hello Guys............ WTF??????
Goes back outside to check it is the right building. Did I pop into the Hmm Hmm by mistake? No I'm in the right place. Right now I'm angry.
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x Heads back to the door. Now where's that Swipe Card?? Oh Bollocky Balls!!!TM Sgt Bilko 2004, it's on the table just inside the door!!! Now I'm angrier than the Head Angry Bloke at Angry Blokes r Us!! :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Taps on the door, knowing that no one can hear me because of the fire door after the main door. Chuffin Fred. Why did he insist on that chuffin fire door??
"Guys. Let me in guys. I promise not to be too angry when I get in. Please guys!!!!
Sex God
FFS!! one of the guys have turned up and those bloody girlies have pulled a right stunt on me got me all dressed up and pissed off giggling with all me other gear SHIT!!!!!
Sex God
Kit please ..please dont let him in I cant be seen like this!!! bugger I know.... war wounds thats it... war wounds these are leg dressing after being hit by shrapnell....he might just fall for it, but the panties bugger...
Evenin' all: am I allowed in here? Is it just the Spa I'm banned from? Well , I'm as knackered as a hedgehog fighting with a milk wagon. What a day. Phone hasn't stopped. All me cousins have been ringin' from all over the world to ask about my banning from the Spa: appears it's made front page news in the Artiville Times, Woogawurra, Northern Territory AND the Artifisfield Gazette in Axlegrease, Wyoming AND The Artifski Herald in Beastabusen, Estonia, AND The Howartisthou Star in Septic, Alberta...my cousins are pretty annoyed, and talking about 'action' Lord knows what that means: I'm too knackered to care. right, I need scrumpy, and lots of it, MRS FC???? KIT??? SAPPHO?? Where the hell are the lovely serving wenches.. Hold on, here's a finely turned calf and a pair of honed thighs. must be....no, buggity bugger, it's Dave J!! By the scars on me Granny's nipples Dave, what are you doing dressed up like a chuffing minstrel!! You look like Nora Batty! Set your arse down here man and calm down. now, tell uncle Arti why you's a'dressin' like a tart..I'm all ears
Sex God
Look Arti I know I can tust you so before Bilko and the others get here.....those bloody girls told me that I had to wear stockings and stuff to come in... and well I didnt know seeing as last night I slept right through but anyway....once I got the kit on they all pissed off with me clothes giggling and well look at me jesus .. these panties have dug in so far now that its gonna take a seriousely large bucket o Swarfega to get em out and well...I'm embarrased so if anyone asks these are surgical dressings on me legs cos the shrapnell wounds that I picked up on secret service are playin up cos of the rain.... Just back me mate and there's a years supply orf the roughest scrumpy you can find...
Kat rushes to Sarge's aid, but suddenly hears the voice of Stellas echoing "how funny would it be to lock the Sarge in, a military man in stockings"
He fights manfully aginst the urge, straining every sinew in his efforts, but in the end, Stella is too strong and overcomes him.
Behind Sarge, the door of the GFZ shuts with an ominous "KerPlunk" and Kat is left giggling outside,
lhk
um, can I claim to be RedVanMan?
He fights manfully aginst the urge, straining every sinew in his efforts, but in the end, Stella is too strong and overcomes him.
Behind Sarge, the door of the GFZ shuts with an ominous "KerPlunk" and Kat is left giggling outside,
lhk
um, can I claim to be RedVanMan?
Kat suddenly notices Artificer is also trapped, and quickly considers a rescue plan, but Stella tells him he is a casualty of war, and has not replied to his PM yet, so should be left to whatever fate befells him. Kat reluctantly agrees, but only because his virus patterns have just updated and his computer is telling him that he must re-boot to install them! 
lhk
lhk
Sex God
davj winces in pain as the twang reverberates through his nether regions..
Eeerr yes errr hi Wilma one drink coming up
davej gets behind the bar and stays there so only his top half is visible
Eeerr yes errr hi Wilma one drink coming up
davej gets behind the bar and stays there so only his top half is visible
