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Going Solo

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Goin solo, as in living alone, dining alone, spending time alone. I have recently been thrust into this position and after throwing out a fridge full of food that has gone past its best by date realised that I am ill prepared for this.
Therefor I am looking for suggestions on going solo. Is it wise to shop daily rather than weekly ?, what does one do with the evenings esp as I dont own a television, lots of scenaios spring to mind..........
Hiya ! ;passionkiss:
the freezer is your bessie mate.... make up whole meals for 2 or 4 etc and then separate it all out and put the other servings into freezer containers and defrost and cook or microwave as and when.
Evening? .. ummm evening classes at local colleges to learn a new skill. ? Noladreams had a thread running about it and I am sure she will be along to put a link to it for you.
and remember you have loads of mates in the NE room who think the world of you and will be there when you log in.
First - YOU WILL BE FINE!!
I had a similar thing when I left my ex - but I had my son with me so not down to solo. It was my choice but still very stressful.
Splendid was totally right - your freezer will save you. Make sure you have plenty of plastic bags/boxes to put stuff in and be fairly disciplined about it.
Another thing to remember is - eat before you shop or you may be tempted to buy lots of things you can't use quickly (or shouldn't LOL) and can't freeze easily.
What about making out a few menus to shop from - just for the first few weeks?
Evenings. What about getting a TV and DVD combo? Not to watch the deadly box as such, but to watch favourite DVDs. That way it offers an hour or two without using up the whole evening totally.
Night classes are a great idea - or a study course. Does anything catch your fancy? I did a course in Forensic Science a couple of years ago - there was loads of coursework to do so that took plenty of time.
My best friend and I had an idea years ago - Mates 4 Dates. Like a dating agency but for single people to hook up with other people for non-romantic dates that are hard on your own - like going to the pictures. Not sure how that would work on here though LOL.
I imagine the shock of being forced into this situation is no fun either. What about having a go at listing the advantages to being alone - getting the whole duvet, control over the remote (ok not relevant at the mo), lid always back on the toothpaste. That sort of thing.
Anyway, I repeat - You WILL find your equilibrium again.
hi its hard at first ive been single 2yrs and know how the change can feel. buy the food you will know that will last like put stuff in the freezer and buy lots of tinned stuffx hope this helps palx
its gonna be hard for a while honey while you adjust but like i said on msn, and others have said above, use your bloody freezer!! i stopped buying fresh veg as such only buy what i need, and if i have something thats in need of using i find a recipe online and cook it, if i want salad i buy a bag of it so i dont end up throwing the rest out.
you've said you want to start signing classes and want to learn to drive, driving will give you so much more freedom,
on an evening, read all those books you never had time for, do that sewing that got put by the wayside, chill out with your mates in the north east room and on msn if you are feeling lonely, am only a phone call or a button away on the computer
join a social group there are plenty of walking/hiking groups and other kind of social groups, volunteer at a yough centre or some other kind of place that is open on an evening
basically, without it sounding awful, you now have the time to do the things you always wanted to do
love ya xx
another thought, why dont you have a go at writing short stories, be it kids stories or erotic stories, ooh there ya go a writing class
theres all sorts of things its just finding your feet and finding something that interests you
as others have said with the freezer
you can make bigger meals (or sometimes by mistake) just cut them into 1/4 or 1/2 and freeze them for another time as an easy meal just remember to date them
you could also organise meetings with other people for extra social activeties
just enjoy your free time and your you time
get a new partner.............. rolleyes
I have recently been put in the same position (single) and find it easier to shop daily...
I go out each day and buy a few little things as at least it gets me out of the house (aside from going to work that is) :-)
Cant help with evening activities as I am at work then anyway...
re evenings......buy a telly lol
Time is a great healer.
Evening classes
Cooking
Driving lessons
Buy a telly, doesn't mean you have to have it on 24/7
Get friends round nilla or other wise for dinner
Join an online cookery type forum for ideas
Nearly a year in for me - VERY BORED waiting for it to get better, although the hurt has diminished lately.
From my personal perspective I find daily shopping better, more expensive but somehow more rewarding. The idea of opening the freezer to find something I cooked a week ago is somehow abhorrent.
Evenings? Books and music, eventually company but learn how to be alone and love yourself first - you will be surprised how brilliant you are.
Take care of you!!
Be lucky
Web
Quote by markz
get a new partner.............. rolleyes

You might want to think occassionally before you post some of your unhelpful, smug :roll: comments sometimes markz and consider the context in which this might have been written. Joy didn't leave her husband or him her - he was taken unexpectedly from her in his mid 40's when he died of a sudden heart attack not so long ago. I think she's looking for useful advice on how to spend her time..as opposed to who to spend it with, at least for now anyway.
As others have said Joy, it's just a case of recalibrating and re-adjusting and seeing the world through different eyes. Things will sometimes look worse and sometimes better, but mostly just different as time goes on. The evening class idea is a cool one and there's some great new skills to be learned.. and a lot of funding around right now in the current climate to support this kind of stuff.
I relied on my friends a whole lot more when I was single – especially through the difficult bits. And as Splendid said, you’ve got lots in the North East. The most useful thing anyone said to me one day was when they asked me how I was feeling and I said “pretty crap actually”... they said “good, because knowing that allows me to do something for you!” We’re very British sometimes and do the stiff upper lip thing.. “Yeah, I’m fine!”, even when we are anything but! Equally, my friends enjoyed the good times with me and me finding my feet again. I guess what I’m saying (badly!) is, don’t push yourself through the change.. just go with the flow and see where the river takes you x
Good advice Bloke.... :thumbup:
Quote by markz
get a new partner.............. rolleyes

I am glad BIoke beat me to it.... because he is a lot calmer about it than I would have been and I am now
I hope for once you break "character" and send joy an unreserved and heartfelt apology..... because that was really... really uncalled for! mad
joy... we know you are hurting and it always takes time to adjust.... as most of the singles have said, between my freezer and my george foreman grill you do get there...
like other has said.. go and do things that interest you and will occupy your time... evening classes are fantastic.... book clubs at the library.. even support groups of people who have been thru the same thing so you know that you are not alone and support in numbers is not a bad thing...
Last of all.... your friends in the NE and BBW room will always be there for you hun no matter what, we will always be friends first and if there is anything you been help with, we will always be here...
sean xxx
Quote by I_am_joy
Goin solo, as in living alone, dining alone, spending time alone. I have recently been thrust into this position and after throwing out a fridge full of food that has gone past its best by date realised that I am ill prepared for this.
Therefor I am looking for suggestions on going solo. Is it wise to shop daily rather than weekly ?, what does one do with the evenings esp as I dont own a television, lots of scenaios spring to mind..........

As has been said, in time you will heal. Keep yourself busy - I went out to friends' houses and they came to mine. My son lives with me still, although he often does his own thing. I don't have to worry about throwing food away though - he's a human bin! My daughter rescued me several times from boredom and tears, as did my parents. I also started to use the chatrooms more - they're fab for the company smile
Quote by Ms_Whips
i do feel i have to appologise to joy. i'm very sorry but i didn't realise you had actually lost your husband. i wrote from a point of splitting up with someone. therefore if any of my post seems inappropriate i am very sorry! i hadn't realised untill i read BIokes post.
sorry
whips

I don't think you need apologise honey and I'm sure that Joy will have taken what you said as well-intended.
Bloke, you're right on all counts - and thank you kiss
Webster - good on you honey :kiss:
Thank you all for the tips , I dragged my sorry ass into town and picked up a prospectus from the local college and a cpl of books to read today so this evening I will enroll online and then roll on september. No appologies are needed,different scenarios but at the end of the day a similar road to be travelled.
What course do you think you will do? we want regular updates and photos!
Good luck
once you start to get some books enrol on a course .maybe do a bit of a coffee morn with cpl of lasses ect start to get a routine going things will start to come into place ,then theres always the chat room to fill inbetweens hun ,and as and when theres the munchs and socials to go to ,am sure some one close will always be able to pick ya up and if ya want a tv ill keep me pies open joy
Quote by I_am_joy
Thank you all for the tips , I dragged my sorry ass into town and picked up a prospectus from the local college and a cpl of books to read today so this evening I will enroll online and then roll on september. No appologies are needed,different scenarios but at the end of the day a similar road to be travelled.

Really glad to hear you are doing all of this :thumbup:
I don't know how this would appeal to you.....but how about getting in touch with organisations for people who've lost their partners? My mam did this when my dad died and went on outings and such like. Not only does it keep u busy and give you something to look forward to, but u make new friends and it may be a comfort thing to you, to talk to other people in the same circumstance as you.
Whatever else you decide to do, enjoy it! biggrin
kiss
Guess most of the ideas have been covered, but one I thought of could work.......seeing as we're all on this site.
How about an Ann Summers Rep type thing??
You'd get out of an evening, or have people you trust to yours, maybe make a little cash, but surely get enough customers if you spread the word discreetly to people you know on here. And I bet you'd have a blast showing off the products.
Obviously don't think you can advertise it directly on here, but tell a friend who tells a friend etc....
John
hi joy xx
loads of good sugestions.
i dont know you or your likes etc but one excellent avenue to explore is helping out at a centre in the evenings.
youth centres, evening homeless shelters. they can rely on voulenteres and can be quite good for the soul to help others out.
defo defo the driving lessons, it will open up a whole new world.
im very sorry about your loss, and glad i didnt post before as i no doubt would now be removing foot from mouth lol
big hugs
xx fem xx