Guidelines for single Male posting in the forum or replying

24 Feb 2004

Advice when posting to the forum and replying to adverts
I hope some of you single men will find this useful.
honest and modest
Itâ€™s no good claiming to be 5ft 10, 12 stone with 15 inches if youâ€™re 5ft 4 15 stone with 2 inches. Dishonesty might get you to the door but unless all of your encounters are blind youâ€™ll get no further.
2. Be intelligent & polite
Compose an intelligent, polite reply (Unless the advert youâ€™re responding to suggests otherwise, donâ€™t use F*** S*** etc.)
3. SPELL correctly
Many people find bad grammar and spelling a turn off.
respect
Show respect to all. Unless theyâ€™ve indicated that they want you to talk dirty und use words like slut and whore.
5. Read the advert
Someone advertising for a 6ft 2inch Blackman with a 10 inch dick DOES NOT want a 5ft white man with 3 inches. If youâ€™re borderline (theyâ€™ve asked for 7 inches and youâ€™re 6, they want 35 year old and youâ€™re 43 ) be honest state where you fit the profile and where you donâ€™t.
6. Sell yourself
Tell them what youâ€™re really good at without exaggerating,
7. Aim to develop friends
If all youâ€™re looking for is a shag pay for it. Many Swingers want to develop friendships, not just provide a shagging service for you.
8. Take NO gracefully
Donâ€™t reply with nasty comments, youâ€™ve not been rejected, youâ€™re just not the perfect candidate. â€œThanks for considering me, if you change your mind you know where I amâ€ is a nice`positive way to end correspondence.
9. Photos
Most ladies know what a dick looks like. Unless specifically requested they prefer a face, full body (clothed) or profile. That proves that you look normal, confirms your build and helps your prospect to decide if they might fancy you.
meeting
Meet in a pub, expect no more than to buy the first round, chat and leave.
11. The first session
Respect the people youâ€™re with, donâ€™t be selfish. Show a sense of humour and ENJOY.
12. Don't get your hopes up
13. Say where you're based and if you can travel
14. Let them know if you're willing to accommodate
15. Give some indication of your likes/dislikes/boundaries/limits/turn-ons/turn-offs
16. Give some indication of the extent of your experience on the scene - some people don't want hardened swingers - others might want to keep out the newbies
17. When advertising put you advert in the correct category(ies)
Adverts in the wrong section just prove you're braindead and will get moved anyway.
Thing is - most of this stuff should be bloody obvious rolleyes

24 Feb 2004

Nice one; I think you covered all of the relevent advice, except maybe:
11. Don't get your hopes up

24 Feb 2004

Something like this?

Quote by Remain anonymous to spare the guilty
hi any chance of join in wiv u and the gal

Answer - No
But it's OK, I chose this one because I know he will not be embarassed - in his second e-mail he made it clear he had no idea which wesite he got our details from! lol

Good work lonely, Mal609 is doing some work on advice along these lines, I am sure he will pick this up and plumb it in for you.
lhk
Kat

24 Feb 2004

OMG!! I read this as :

Quote by KitKat
But it's OK, I chose this one because I know he will not be embarassed - in his second e-mail he made it clear he had no idea which website he got our details from!
Good work lonely Mal609.

Sorry Mal

24 Feb 2004

13. Say where you're based and if you can travel
14. Let them know if you're willing to accommodate
15. Give some indication of your likes/dislikes/boundaries/limits/turn-ons/turn-offs
16. Give some indication of the extent of your experience on the scene - some people don't want hardened swingers - others might want to keep out the newbies
Thing is - most of this stuff should be bloody obvious rolleyes

24 Feb 2004

Lonely - why is there two number threes? wink

Good advice for the initial contact - but then what happens? I'm finding at the moment that some guys are really quite good at writing an initial reply to my ad - maybe they're listening after all :shock: , so I reply thinking that it's worth a shot to find out more about what he's into and his availability etc. I'm undoubtedly disappointed by what I get back. Although some guys continue to be just as good as the sound initially, sadly many fall by the way side at this point. It's like they put everything they've got into the first email and then they've nothing left - no stamina in other words! Some guys seem to forget that they also have to hold a conversation for at least two or three subsequent emails! I'm not into playing email hockey and all I want really is to know that they're genuine, that we're talking along the same lines and that we can all meet up (sometimes with the best will in the world this becomes the sticking point).
So guys - although the initial reply has to be good to get you a response, but when you get that response you have to keep it up. 8)

24 Feb 2004

8. Photos
Most ladies know what a dick looks like. Unless specifically requested they prefer a face, full body (clothed) or profile. That proves that you look normal, confirms your build and helps your prospect to decide if they might fancy you.

It would be interesting to have comment on this as it IS a possible area of confusion - while it is quite clear sending solely cock-shots reveals you for the moron you might well be - many do ask for a 'full undrapped photo' - so is it full frontal, but clothed, or full but nude?
8)
Any commentifications?

24 Feb 2004

Just for interest, I was once asked to co-write a booklet - 101 Ways to Survive Your First Date! Full of sound advice, if I do say so myself for both sexes!
One tip was absolutely essential - about personal hygiene in the event of a meet. So gentlemen, maintain your equipment to the highest standards of hygiene and efficiency!
Sappho xxx

24 Feb 2004

The "what pic to send" dillemma is a major one!
In my ad at the mo I say "please send an unclothed body pic - no pic no reply". Yes, that sounds a bit vague to me now, I might go and change it later redface

. However, what I mean by unclothed body pic is exactly that, and I do mean cock included. I ask for a body pic to check the guy isn't very over weight or very hairy (sorry, don't like either confused

) - a close up cock pic doesn't give that info. However, if they have decent body but maybe have sent one in boxer shorts confused

or something I will request a cock pic - OK, I'm in the minority here - I DO like cock pics 8) . I don't request face pics- who looks at faces when they're shagging - DON'T ANSWER THAT redface

Basically, that's what I ask for but everyone's different. If who you're replying to doesn't specify what pic to send, why not send something that isn't possibly offensive, maybe a semi clothed pic? Then in your reply say that unclothed, cock and face pics are available on request - that says that you're genuine and that you've thought about what the advertiser might want to see - it's common sense really.
Oh yeah, and if it says "No pic no reply" it means it! I NEVER reply to people who don't send pics if I say I want them!
Having said all that, sometimes it's fun to meet without having seen pics - sometimes I do that too redface

24 Feb 2004

Quote by bluexxx
The "what pic to send" dillemma is a major one!
In my ad at the mo I say "please send an unclothed body pic - no pic no reply". Yes, that sounds a bit vague to me now, I might go and change it later . However, what I mean by unclothed body pic is exactly that, and I do mean cock included. I ask for a body pic to check the guy isn't very over weight or very hairy (sorry, don't like either ) - a close up cock pic doesn't give that info. However, if they have decent body but maybe have sent one in boxer shorts or something I will request a cock pic - OK, I'm in the minority here - I DO like cock pics 8) . I don't request face pics- who looks at faces when they're shagging - DON'T ANSWER THAT
Basically, that's what I ask for but everyone's different. If who you're replying to doesn't specify what pic to send, why not send something that isn't possibly offensive, maybe a semi clothed pic? Then in your reply say that unclothed, cock and face pics are available on request - that says that you're genuine and that you've thought about what the advertiser might want to see - it's common sense really.
Oh yeah, and if it says "No pic no reply" it means it! I NEVER reply to people who don't send pics if I say I want them!
Having said all that, sometimes it's fun to meet without having seen pics - sometimes I do that too

So, in conclusion, the single men of the site are damned if they do and damned if they don't!

24 Feb 2004

Not at all, not at all, not at all.... it just depends on the situation for me personally. Few peeps want to meet without seeing pics these days, so send one or two just in case!

24 Feb 2004

Blue
Now that you've found my mistake I should add :-
14. Learn to Count
regards
Mark

24 Feb 2004

I've added everybodies comments.
biggrin

Mark

24 Feb 2004

18. Indicate whether you're a non-smoker or not and take the trouble to say you're very clean (and MEAN IT)
Many people are very particular abt the non-smoker thang (don't blame 'em).

24 Feb 2004

Hmmm... does the same apply to non-drinkers?
I've stopped mentioning it in my ad or any replies I send (none for a few weeks now), because I figure it might make people worry that I'd disapprove of them drinking (and I don't, unless they get competely blotto), but if I want to be strictly honest maybe it's something I should say.

24 Feb 2004

Hmmmm

Personally speaking, it puts me off when someone makes a point of saying they're a non smoker or a non drinker cos it makes me think they're a fuddy duddy, even though I consume very little tobacco or alcohol myself. OK, I know it's silly and it doesn't put me off meeting them completely if they're otherwise OK, but speaking about first impressions it is something that I take as a negative point. Go on, tell me how horrid I am redface

24 Feb 2004

Quote by bluexxx
It's like they put everything they've got into the first email and then they've nothing left - no stamina in other words!

All I can say is that for the one and only lady who sent a worthwhile non-negative reply to one of my mails, the second mail I sent was of a vastly different tone from the first. I put this down to two things - (1) she took six weeks to reply to my first message, during which time whatever mood I might have been feeling had evaporated like smoke, and (2) as you start to ask questions and reply and converse, the tone naturally becomes a bit more chatty, I think. (Still no second reply, so I guess maybe she really wanted Mr Romeo 24/7, although admittedly I haven't given her another 6 weeks yet...)

24 Feb 2004

Quote by bluexxx
Go on, tell me how horrid I am

Okay: you're very very horrid. ;) Next thing you'll be criticizing my luvvvvvvvelly stripey jumpers...