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Gutted... Truly but we all have to move on!

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Quote by flower411
As it happens, my view is that the chatrooms are taking over and the forum will be frequented by less and less people. Which is a bit of a shame cos I just found me way here smile

Hmmmm, wondering if there's a link there? wink lol
I've just looked at the stats and at the moment there are apparently 1703 people in the chatroom and 90 on the forums.
90 is still a good number, but you can see what is pulling in the crowds.
I would like to see a lot more of the site opened up to freebie members. Maybe that is not good business, I don't know. If only the Forums were opened up I am concerned you would get a lot of people trying to advertise and trolling here, simply because they can't interact elsewhere.
With regards to flamming etc, I think you get that on Forums everywhere, simply because everyone has plenty of time to analyze a message to death. I post on a cats forum with lots of nice American cat women (not literally, they are not in PVC sadly) and even these ladies can get into massive rows on their forum.
To be honest, I am not sure if this will work, but if someone is being a bit harsh, just let them know maybe via PM. Possibly that will just cause more arguments, who knows.
Wow...
I'm seriously impressed.. a good level of responce sure we all agree..
Now as for you guys who are new and a tad worried about posting anyone who knows of me and my posts will know how shy I am about putting my point over too.. Yes it can be daunting but I always think I am as entitled to my opinion as anyone so don't be put off please.. Ok some may take things to a different more personal level but who cares.. its supposed to be fun after all and we all like fun don't we?
Good to see some new faces already.. come on keep it up please.. Start your own posts .. ask questions make comments its all good.
God bless the cafe and all who sail in her.. lol
Mike xx
It's true that sometimes there are critical comments and I agree we could do with less of those, but it is also true that people are over sensitive and take offence or hurt too easily.
We all have to remember that this is a difficult medium in which to communicate. Sometimes the messages come out wrong. It makes no sense to compound those shortcomings by 'interpreting them wrong' as well.
The degree of unpleasantness is often a function of the first reaction after the initial critical comment. I say, don't react and don't let it develop into an argument - more often than not you don't have to justify your action - unless there is a reasoned alternative opinion expressed - in which case a civilised discussion can ensue.
rolleyes <<<<<<Choon kicks soapbox to one side >>>>>>
Right - who wants a fight then! :sparring:
.
I would like to post more and start new threads but very early on I was a bit discouraged by the flaming of newbies and by the trigger happy modding. I remember threads used to get locked for no apparent reason - it was very odd.
Another reason newbies might not want to post that much is that it feels a bit clickey or at least that's the perception.
What I find off putting is when a very interesting thread is going on some people start making silly comments with their mates and the thread gets hijacked by one or two all posting banal stuff like:
Poster 1: oh you're so funny,
Poster 2: oh no you're funnier,
P1: I know hahahaha,
P2: oh no you'll be in trouble now, just laughed at me
P1: oh really? what you gonna do then lol
and on and on and on and it get sooo boring and I just think sod it those two/three just ruined a very good thread. The thread becomes a private conversation - and if they really want a private conversation they could easily have it in the chatrooms instead.
As for being oversentisite yes perhaps some people are but I suppose they longer they stay the less sensitive they'll become - maybe they just need time.
Another thing I've noticed is that sometimes a member who's not that well known starts a thread; for some reason it receives very little replies or attention. However if a well known member starts a thread - whether it's silly or serious it always gets a lot of replies... very strange that.
Am I right or is that just my imagination?
Quote by awol
:
Am I right or is that just my imagination?

I think it could be the voices in your head misleading you! :giggle:
At the end of the day anyone can post what they like as long as they dont break the rules. kiss
IMHO Its cyber space not real world ..... some people take it too seriously!
Lay back and enjoy :rascal:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by lyns

There has got to be some new posters who would welcome this lull and get themselves heard on anything they wanted to ask surely..
Mike xxx

Mike I agree...
But maybe it would help if some people were a little kinder in the way new posters were replied to.
The majority of people are welcoming but it only takes one or two negative comments to put people off posting. And I don't mean someone disagreeing with someone's opinion, I mean someone being criticised for posting their opinion in the first place.
I would agree with the above. I sometimes won`t post a reply to a thread as I really can`t be bothered to defend/justify myself to some scarcastic reply. Whether or not a poster means it as scarcastic i dunno but that is how it sometimes reads, its sometimes difficult to tell scarcastic from funny! lol
:thumbup: Totally agree with you're post Cherrytree.
I was really put off posting in this forum on a regular basis quite sometime ago for those exact reasons. I was made out to be a liar when I was quite clearly not. The person in question did apologise when she was in full awareness of the facts but maybe the facts should have been established before putting ones gob into gear before engaging brain! It really made me wonder about this community for a long time.
I do have to say however, I do love the forum sometimes, along with some of its characters and I am a regular voyuer, I mean viewer redface and do chip in with my twopeneth on occasions wink
Another problem is dissagreements and arguments are taking place within the forum and not in private as they ought to be.
I for one used to take things said personaly and its a mistake newer forumites tend to do. I soon settled down though and if i ever felt that somthing was personal i just send a pm and ask and i dont recall anything ever being personal.
I've had a few "discussions" with a few people again in private message and not in the forum but still remain ok with those people and don't let it cloud my thoughts on any of their later posts. If i aggreee with them i'll say so.
Having said all that i still think we are missing the biggest players on this forum and i want them back or someone to take on the mantle lol
The chat rooms offer witty one liners or more often one worders. But generally I think the forums provide the right conditions for a debate.
One of the advantages of the forums is that committed newbies can establish themselves by careful postings and this helps them to get invites to the meets.
Careful postings means that newbies won't find themselves in an awkward situation, and then become uncertain about themselves. But there's many who start with a devil may care attitude, and then feel they have messed up.
Its difficult to anticipate how people will do in the forums. If you offer too much help you may be stuck with someone clingy.
It's very much a cyclical thing in the forums. I think we all see similar threads appearing throughout the year. More recently they have come round more quickly.
But the debates can only be what the contributors put into them. They need to be entered into with consideration of the prevailing conditions. A topic debated a month ago will have a different character to the current one. Otherwise one just ends up cherry picking and looking for the debate that suits one's bag of one liners.
But there's no point getting hung up about the site. It won't provide for you. Its just entertainment.
Hmmmm, how about sexing the Forum up a bit. Some sex and titilation, posts like, 'my favourite sexual fantasy', who has the sexiest photos on their profile, that kind of stuff.
OK, maybe these are just things I would like redface
Quote by TimandLene
Hmmmm, how about sexing the Forum up a bit. Some sex and titilation, posts like, 'my favourite sexual fantasy', who has the sexiest photos on their profile, that kind of stuff.
OK, maybe these are just things I would like redface
Go on then start thread I will answer lol :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote by Corrie2007
Hmmmm, how about sexing the Forum up a bit. Some sex and titilation, posts like, 'my favourite sexual fantasy', who has the sexiest photos on their profile, that kind of stuff.
OK, maybe these are just things I would like redface
Go on then start thread I will answer lol :lol: :lol: :lol:
and then, judging by past threads, a mod will come along and lock it, saying it's been done to death, go and check thread such and such.
Oh Mr Misery!! Lighten up! lol
Quote by vodka_babe22uk
me thinks us girlies need some new pics of cute bums to glance at what do you reckon dawnie lol

Now that is a very good idea :twisted:
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
me thinks us girlies need some new pics of cute bums to glance at what do you reckon dawnie lol

Now that is a very good idea :twisted:
redface surprisedops: Well, you not seeing mine :P
( even if I've been called duracell arse by a certain lady after a visit to chams last month)
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
me thinks us girlies need some new pics of cute bums to glance at what do you reckon dawnie lol

Now that is a very good idea :twisted:
redface surprisedops: Well, you not seeing mine :P
( even if I've been called duracell arse by a certain lady after a visit to chams last month)
Quote by TimandLene
Hmmmm, how about sexing the Forum up a bit. Some sex and titilation, posts like, 'my favourite sexual fantasy', who has the sexiest photos on their profile, that kind of stuff.
OK, maybe these are just things I would like redface

We do see these kind of threads from time to time. I think, in the past, there have been newbies whose first post has been something like 'tell me your fantasies' or 'what's the dirtiest thing you've done'. They often don't include their own anecdotes and it can appear to be a request for 'wank fodder'.
As for 'sexiest photos', that type of thread often serves to alienate newbies even more, because mates will pick one another's photos etc. Some people can become mardy if their pics aren't chosen too - in that way, they are very divisive threads and should be avoided, in my opinion.
Quote by adi1567
( even if I've been called duracell arse by a certain lady after a visit to chams last month)

Duracellarse - what does it do? :shock:
Quote by Freckledbird

( even if I've been called duracell arse by a certain lady after a visit to chams last month)

Duracellarse - what does it do? :shock:
Apparently was moving quicker than the duracell bunny beating his drum redface rolleyes surprisedops:
Quote by Freckledbird
We do see these kind of threads from time to time. I think, in the past, there have been newbies whose first post has been something like 'tell me your fantasies' or 'what's the dirtiest thing you've done'. They often don't include their own anecdotes and it can appear to be a request for 'wank fodder'.

Yes I agree with FB on this. I do like it when newbies introduce themselves having thought somewhat about their post. A nice introduction is far better to read than as FB says a post seeming as if it is only collecting 'wanking fodder' which many of us avoid. But how about WE (that is the 'royal' we) politely explain our SH etiquette and say it is polite to give YOUR views and experiences before aslking for others rather than sarcastic or no replies at all.
pink x
crikey FB buggered up my quoting AGAIN rolleyes
Hmmm, well is it so bad if they want wank fodder? I'm sure there could be room for both on the forum.
Looking at the context of the rest of the site, it doesn't seem that innapropriate.
I am curious, would such a post be locked be locked, and if so why?
(I only gave the fantasy or photo thing as examples, things that I could quickly think of)
No, we wouldn't lock it, because if it's crap it will just drop away anyway. lol
Mal
wink
<PERSONAL opinion follows>
I've been here for over 4 years now, since it started, and have seen more people join up and leave than I care to think about. It's the nature of the beast and will ever thus be so! A lot of those whom I regard as my closest friends I met on here but they are no longer active here, some inhabit other sites and some are not anywhere, but I keep regular contact with them, talk on the phone to them, visit them, meet them elsewhere and join in the family stuff whether good or bad or mundane.
A few weeks ago I posted about regarding the site as somewhere you 'live' - and then it changes happen and people move out, more move in and the landscape and dynamics change. Expecting things to remain static is unrealistic, otherwise we'd still be living in caves without running water or power.
If I cease to enjoy a place (pub, club, work etc) I don't go back. No point in keeping going back just to confirm how awful you knew it was!! I don't need to go to my 'favourite' pub once it's been revamped just to sit there and carp, criticise or moan on - leaving quietly is graceful!
Long live the Big Black Dalek and what he created even if both he and it are evolving!
<END of PERSONAL opinion>
:P
Quote by flower411
No, we wouldn't lock it, because if it's crap it will just drop away anyway. lol
Mal
wink

So, you just lock the good ones that won`t die a death on their own ? :wink:
Only when the posters name begins with an 'F'!!! rotflmao :rotflmao:
Quote by Mal
No, we wouldn't lock it, because if it's crap it will just drop away anyway. lol
Mal
wink

So, you just lock the good ones that won`t die a death on their own ? :wink:
Only when the posters name begins with an 'F'!!! rotflmao :rotflmao:
:shock: Bugger!
Quote by Jags
<PERSONAL opinion follows>
I've been here for over 4 years now, since it started, and have seen more people join up and leave than I care to think about. It's the nature of the beast and will ever thus be so! A lot of those whom I regard as my closest friends I met on here but they are no longer active here, some inhabit other sites and some are not anywhere, but I keep regular contact with them, talk on the phone to them, visit them, meet them elsewhere and join in the family stuff whether good or bad or mundane.
A few weeks ago I posted about regarding the site as somewhere you 'live' - and then it changes happen and people move out, more move in and the landscape and dynamics change. Expecting things to remain static is unrealistic, otherwise we'd still be living in caves without running water or power.
If I cease to enjoy a place (pub, club, work etc) I don't go back. No point in keeping going back just to confirm how awful you knew it was!! I don't need to go to my 'favourite' pub once it's been revamped just to sit there and carp, criticise or moan on - leaving quietly is graceful!
Long live the Big Black Dalek and what he created even if both he and it are evolving!
<END of PERSONAL opinion>
:P

My feeling exactly Jags :thumbup: We ahve been here almost 4 years and over the time it has changed dramatically... I would love for some people to come back and we could go back to "the good 'ole days" but such is life dunno
Quote by Jags
<PERSONAL opinion follows>
I've been here for over 4 years now, since it started, and have seen more people join up and leave than I care to think about. It's the nature of the beast and will ever thus be so! A lot of those whom I regard as my closest friends I met on here but they are no longer active here, some inhabit other sites and some are not anywhere, but I keep regular contact with them, talk on the phone to them, visit them, meet them elsewhere and join in the family stuff whether good or bad or mundane.
A few weeks ago I posted about regarding the site as somewhere you 'live' - and then it changes happen and people move out, more move in and the landscape and dynamics change. Expecting things to remain static is unrealistic, otherwise we'd still be living in caves without running water or power.
If I cease to enjoy a place (pub, club, work etc) I don't go back. No point in keeping going back just to confirm how awful you knew it was!! I don't need to go to my 'favourite' pub once it's been revamped just to sit there and carp, criticise or moan on - leaving quietly is graceful!
Long live the Big Black Dalek and what he created even if both he and it are evolving!
<END of PERSONAL opinion>
:P

jags? i've been here 3 'n' half years, and i agree very nearly 90 odd per cent with that? ;) the dynamics change constantly. the forum goes through slow spells. it is ALWAYS cyclical. it will pick up again at some point, cos that's the nature of the beast indeed! ;)
summer is sometimes a particularly slow time on the forum, cos people are off on holidays, and the gutter press are more concerned these days with Britney and Li-Lo than they are with staffordshire car-parks, and luckily, we don't get quite the same influx of schoolies and casual joiner-uppers / reporters anymore, and luckily, we do tend to have the email addies and phone numbers of our friends? the sites just a convenient place to talk bollox, mostly, and i can talk bollox just about anywhere? lol i frequently do! ;)
you know me well enough to be expecting a however at this point, dontcha? :lol:
as for the less than 10 percent i didn't agree with? sometimes, people go back to confirm it ain't so awful as they imagined? some people will go back to their favourite pub, even though it ain't the pub they once knew, just to see if they can get to enjoy what it has become? some will succeed in that? biggrin others will fail? sad and then they will hit cancel account buttons, or deliberately run headlong into bans to demonstrate a particularly telling point, as they see it, or they will quietly slope off into the sunset? confused any which way, they quite deliberately remove themselves from the site.! ;)
some people will carp! not because they are just trying to knock everything, cos they're predisposed to feelings of dislike, but because they think they understand how things once were, for them, and could be again, as they see it? they think it's no longer at it's best, as they once saw it, probably when it was all fresh, and exciting, and new to them. :?
they wonder where we're going, and they well understand that once you quit, you no longer contribute, and so can have nowt to say about how things could be, and should be, as they see it?
Long Live The Great Black Dalek indeed! :D
neil x x x ;)
Quote by neilinleeds
some people will carp! not because they are just trying to knock everything, cos they're predisposed to feelings of dislike, but because they think they understand how things once were, for them, and could be again, as they see it? they think it's no longer at it's best, as they once saw it, probably when it was all fresh, and exciting, and new to them. confused

:thumbup: It's hard to put in to words how you come to feel about this place but once you are an active participant you are always part of it dunno
Long Live The Great Black Dalek indeed! biggrin

Ditto that :thumbup:
Thats it c'mon the 'great black Dalek dunno Explain :!: lol
I aint got the faintest idea wtf you on about. Did Daniel Day Lewis once moved into the Tardis and do a table dance on BBC1? If so the Mrs gonna be pi**ed she missed it :!: Come to think of it so am i :lol2:
Quote by Lost
Did Daniel Day Lewis once moved into the Tardis and do a table dance on BBC1? If so the Mrs gonna be pi**ed she missed it :!: Come to think of it so am i :lol2:

no lost? nothing like that? confused i'd have been quite upset too? :P
just this very evening, i was shouted at from across the street as a Dr Who lookie-likey, so naturally, i know all about daleks, even great big black ones? ;)
the search button might be your friend? it pigging well hates me tonight, else i'd have explained more fully? rolleyes
n x x x ;)