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Hard to swallow!
Quote by Mister_Discreet
Actually, I think you brought up an interesting point - Neither me or GoNoir are happy applying the term 'bi' to ourselves, not because it's derogatory or factually inaccurate, but because I think it raises expectations that don't match up to reality well enough.
Yea exactly. If i labelled myself as bi, i know that my close friends that i would tell would not think anything of it and would be discrete about the fact. Most of them know i have had limited sexually experience with a guy. There are so many different likes and dislikes out there, any label is hard to define if it lies between heterosexual and homosexual.
Haha it `s Friday so im posting, i no it `s a bit late, and this thread is about done so i doubt anyone will see this, but im posting it anyway. 
This is so nice to be able to open up without feeling like im inferior in anyway. i was raised to think any sex except st8, is unnatural and sick, as were all of my friends, so it came as a bit of a surprise :shock: , when me and Venus were talking about experiences we would like each other to try.
She said " i would like to see you do a guy ", first it was just me giving the guy anal, but when i had time to think about it myself, i found that it turned me on to, so now we both would love me to try as much as i can with a guy.
So far im still a virgin in this, but i know in myself i am bi, because i would have no problems having sex with a guy with or without Venus being there, (i know im a slut) :twisted:
but we think it `s a big part of are sex life and we want as much fun as we can.
Just to make it clear, this dose not mean i will jump on every guy we meet, (unless they ask me to)
:twisted: , we are still interested in any couples we meet, str8, bi, it does not matter, every think will come in time, there's no rush.
Love Mars
This is so nice to be able to open up without feeling like im inferior in anyway. i was raised to think any sex except st8, is unnatural and sick, as were all of my friends, so it came as a bit of a surprise :shock: , when me and Venus were talking about experiences we would like each other to try.
She said " i would like to see you do a guy ", first it was just me giving the guy anal, but when i had time to think about it myself, i found that it turned me on to, so now we both would love me to try as much as i can with a guy.
So far im still a virgin in this, but i know in myself i am bi, because i would have no problems having sex with a guy with or without Venus being there, (i know im a slut) :twisted:
but we think it `s a big part of are sex life and we want as much fun as we can.
Just to make it clear, this dose not mean i will jump on every guy we meet, (unless they ask me to)
:twisted: , we are still interested in any couples we meet, str8, bi, it does not matter, every think will come in time, there's no rush.Love Mars
A point of view from a gay guy. I advertise on a number of gay/bi websites, and a fair proportion of responses are from married guys who want to suck my cock and get fucked. I don't know whether they would describe themselves as straight or bi, and it's always dangerous to generalise, but there are certainly plenty of married guys out there who fancy a bit of cock.
Quote by GoNoir
Actually, I think you brought up an interesting point - Neither me or GoNoir are happy applying the term 'bi' to ourselves, not because it's derogatory or factually inaccurate, but because I think it raises expectations that don't match up to reality well enough.
Yea exactly. If i labelled myself as bi, i know that my close friends that i would tell would not think anything of it and would be discrete about the fact. Most of them know i have had limited sexually experience with a guy. There are so many different likes and dislikes out there, any label is hard to define if it lies between heterosexual and homosexual.
On the first page of this thread I mentioned my masturbating experiences, it seems a long time ago now. (Both the first page of the thread AND the last time I was wanked - just to avoid literary confusion here)
The fact that I enjoyed it must surely mean than in a technical sense I'm bi, but I would agree about the description, it adds lifestyle connotations that simply don't apply to me. 
Sex God
It is interesting for me to read everyone's point of view about this.
I dislike labels very strongly and prefer to take everybody on an individual person to person basis. I am intregued by personalities and afterall variety is the spice of life.
Up until now I have been a mere observer of this thread, being carried along with the range of repsonses and posts.
This struck a cord with me. I find it difficult to accept the bi fem label. I find it sometimes difficult to admit that I look at and enjoy female bodies. I have admitted this to one friend outside of SH for personal reasons. Sometimes this could almost be classed as embarressment or shame which I know is irrational and not who I am.....
I know that my friends, as open and accepting as I'd like to think they are, would not be (i suspect) ready to know I enjoy the swinging lifestyle along with my partner. They also wouldn't be the same with me in everyday life situations for a while until they were used to it........
I dislike intensely the thought of my friends not sharing what is a platonic and meaningful friendship. It might change doing normal everyday things such as go for lunch, drinking nights out, shopping trip where we run into the changing rooms together and show each other hideous outfits often revealing copious amounts of flesh without them thinking in the deep crevice of their mind that I may find it arousing and fantasise about this, as it is not that case.
I suppose the long and short of it is, as with bi-men, bi-women have the same amount of variety too. I personally know I am not ready to take the step and announce it to the world because I see it as a private thing.
I truely believe you have to be happy and confident in your own skin to be who you are and true to yourself.
G. x
I dislike labels very strongly and prefer to take everybody on an individual person to person basis. I am intregued by personalities and afterall variety is the spice of life.
Up until now I have been a mere observer of this thread, being carried along with the range of repsonses and posts.
Quote by JudyTV
Mmm
Some interesting takes here from males who don't seek or accept the bi label and as a 50-50 bisexual male I can see the thinking behind it and agree with it mostly.
This struck a cord with me. I find it difficult to accept the bi fem label. I find it sometimes difficult to admit that I look at and enjoy female bodies. I have admitted this to one friend outside of SH for personal reasons. Sometimes this could almost be classed as embarressment or shame which I know is irrational and not who I am.....
I know that my friends, as open and accepting as I'd like to think they are, would not be (i suspect) ready to know I enjoy the swinging lifestyle along with my partner. They also wouldn't be the same with me in everyday life situations for a while until they were used to it........
I dislike intensely the thought of my friends not sharing what is a platonic and meaningful friendship. It might change doing normal everyday things such as go for lunch, drinking nights out, shopping trip where we run into the changing rooms together and show each other hideous outfits often revealing copious amounts of flesh without them thinking in the deep crevice of their mind that I may find it arousing and fantasise about this, as it is not that case.
I suppose the long and short of it is, as with bi-men, bi-women have the same amount of variety too. I personally know I am not ready to take the step and announce it to the world because I see it as a private thing.
I truely believe you have to be happy and confident in your own skin to be who you are and true to yourself.
G. x
Orgasminator
There is a scale called the "kinsey scale" (Kinsey instatute of sexual research) which aims to describe sexuality... from one end totaly straight to the other end of totaly gay.
But IMO there is a couple of problems with this scale... one is that it was introduced and first discribed many years ago when the general attitude and concensus of the day would have had an impact on describing the scale... "black or white" or somewhere inbetween.
My take on the scale is that it was created to describe more the emotional feelings as aposed to the sexual aspects... if someone has to be put in a group then surely there should be 2 scales... one sexual and one emotional?
A gay person is someone that could not concider a relationship of any kind with a person of the opersite sex, and straight person is someone that could not contemplate any kind of relationship with someone of the same sex... so a 50/50 bi preson in theory is someone who could contemplate a "relationship" with either sex... what this doesnt allow for is people (men or women) who have no problem with sexual contact with another of the same/oppersite sex, but could never contemplate (or imagine) themselves in a full term partnership with them.
I class myself as emotionaly straight, and sexualy bi.. some would say I'm confused, others greedy, others would put thier own slant on things... but if you concider the nature of swinging and the contact issues involved in the physical aspects it is quite hard to swing if homophobic; not impossible but at the very least you are coming into contact via association (does that make sence?) and depending on what is being done physical contact is inevitable... thats not to say there is direct and deliberate contact however. Can a guy be totaly straight if they like to make love or clean the woman after the man has been there, can a woman be totaly straight if she does the same after the man has been with the other woman and so on...
The funny thing is that when I've played with straight couples its hardly ever come up in conversation about my sexual tastes reguarding same sex contact... likewise when I used to swing with my ex we never made an issue of it unless the guy had stated that he was bi. Its funny that, and both genders are guilty of this, that "straight" people sometimes assume that a bi person is suddenly going to try and jump them but why should we lol. In foursomes we used to sameroom full swap, and in 3somes we/i usually knew beforehand the others likes and dislikes so stuck with that, after all you dont suddenly try and have anal sex with someone that has expressed a dislike for it, so why grab the same sex when they have stated, or you assume because of it being unstated, they dont like it.
Actually that reminds me of the "usual dislikes" pain, anal, and WS... I can understand specifying no anal especially in a MFM but pain and WS are far more specialised tastes one I'm into in a big way, pain, and WS I have experienced with an ex.
I like giving and recieving pain, but only when done correctly (what ever that means to the individuals) within a bdsm environment or play... but it doesnt mean I'm suddenly going to start spanking or flogging someone... oh well!
But IMO there is a couple of problems with this scale... one is that it was introduced and first discribed many years ago when the general attitude and concensus of the day would have had an impact on describing the scale... "black or white" or somewhere inbetween.
My take on the scale is that it was created to describe more the emotional feelings as aposed to the sexual aspects... if someone has to be put in a group then surely there should be 2 scales... one sexual and one emotional?
A gay person is someone that could not concider a relationship of any kind with a person of the opersite sex, and straight person is someone that could not contemplate any kind of relationship with someone of the same sex... so a 50/50 bi preson in theory is someone who could contemplate a "relationship" with either sex... what this doesnt allow for is people (men or women) who have no problem with sexual contact with another of the same/oppersite sex, but could never contemplate (or imagine) themselves in a full term partnership with them.
I class myself as emotionaly straight, and sexualy bi.. some would say I'm confused, others greedy, others would put thier own slant on things... but if you concider the nature of swinging and the contact issues involved in the physical aspects it is quite hard to swing if homophobic; not impossible but at the very least you are coming into contact via association (does that make sence?) and depending on what is being done physical contact is inevitable... thats not to say there is direct and deliberate contact however. Can a guy be totaly straight if they like to make love or clean the woman after the man has been there, can a woman be totaly straight if she does the same after the man has been with the other woman and so on...
The funny thing is that when I've played with straight couples its hardly ever come up in conversation about my sexual tastes reguarding same sex contact... likewise when I used to swing with my ex we never made an issue of it unless the guy had stated that he was bi. Its funny that, and both genders are guilty of this, that "straight" people sometimes assume that a bi person is suddenly going to try and jump them but why should we lol. In foursomes we used to sameroom full swap, and in 3somes we/i usually knew beforehand the others likes and dislikes so stuck with that, after all you dont suddenly try and have anal sex with someone that has expressed a dislike for it, so why grab the same sex when they have stated, or you assume because of it being unstated, they dont like it.
Actually that reminds me of the "usual dislikes" pain, anal, and WS... I can understand specifying no anal especially in a MFM but pain and WS are far more specialised tastes one I'm into in a big way, pain, and WS I have experienced with an ex.
I like giving and recieving pain, but only when done correctly (what ever that means to the individuals) within a bdsm environment or play... but it doesnt mean I'm suddenly going to start spanking or flogging someone... oh well!
Quote by piercedJon
I like giving and recieving pain, but only when done correctly (what ever that means to the individuals) within a bdsm environment or play... but it doesnt mean I'm suddenly going to start spanking or flogging someone... oh well!
Out of the two of us, Morbius has always been into swinging than myself - needed talking round a bit more (That sounds like I was puched but I wasn't just encouraged to find out more until I wanted to (a???) jump). My kick was the BDSM side of sexual fun.
I tend not to say a lot about to many people purely because they immediately think I'm going to best their ass with a paddle or worse .. that they can simply spank mine
BDSM takes a lot of trust and understanding and isn't always about pain and I do wish more people would recognise this and not be scared of it. Quote by piercedJon
I like giving and recieving pain, but only when done correctly (what ever that means to the individuals) within a bdsm environment or play... but it doesnt mean I'm suddenly going to start spanking or flogging someone... oh well!
Oh good! My house eight o`clock! :bounce:
Venusxxx
Orgasminator
Quote by VenusnMars
I like giving and recieving pain, but only when done correctly (what ever that means to the individuals) within a bdsm environment or play... but it doesnt mean I'm suddenly going to start spanking or flogging someone... oh well!
Oh good! My house eight o`clock! :bounce:
Venusxxx
Woo hoo, I'll get my coat....
Do you want me to bring the pin wheels, spatulars, and play needles
:lol: :lol: Orgasminator
Quote by Calista
I like giving and recieving pain, but only when done correctly (what ever that means to the individuals) within a bdsm environment or play... but it doesnt mean I'm suddenly going to start spanking or flogging someone... oh well!
Out of the two of us, Morbius has always been into swinging than myself - needed talking round a bit more (That sounds like I was puched but I wasn't just encouraged to find out more until I wanted to (a???) jump). My kick was the BDSM side of sexual fun.
I tend not to say a lot about to many people purely because they immediately think I'm going to best their ass with a paddle or worse .. that they can simply spank mine
BDSM takes a lot of trust and understanding and isn't always about pain and I do wish more people would recognise this and not be scared of it.True, although I dont have any floggers or paddles... I much prefer to use household impliments (far cheaper, lol)
I guess pain was probably the wrong term, although I do tend to enjoy it once I've started to get a good buzz going... I guess I should have known I would enjoy topping and bottoming when I got a mighty buzz from my tats and was acctually turned on when I did my 4th genital piercing (the nipple was fun doing as well, lol
People, as you rightly pointed out, tend to get the wrong idea... sensation play can be just as exciting and its supprising how many non-bdsm people actually engage in that without realising that its all part of the bdsm play... for thoes that dont know what sensation play is think 9 1/2 weeks blindfolded and ice cubes, feathers, finger tips, etc.... it doesnt all have to be hard play!
I also love the bondage side of things, i'm getting quite good at the artistic side of that and would love to experiment with, and photograph, some suspension bondage... (makes note to see if the club in derby is on this month, lol)
but just because I enjoy it doesnt mean that I just go arround tying people up and leaving them hung from the rafters like a side of beef
Orgasminator
Quote by VenusnMars
Do you want me to bring the pin wheels, spatulars, and play needles
:shock:
Venusxxx
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Sex God
Some good points made, piercedjon . I think the mention of BDSM activities certainly does put off newbies to the swinging scene - unless they are coming specifically for that sort of think. I think the mention of anything kinky, say, in an ad, makes people think you're too hard. Well, I certainly get less replies if I mention kinky than if I don't, even if kinky is not the only thing I am asking for. I do think it is a shame that swinging and BDSM do not cross over more, but hey.
. I think the mention of BDSM activities certainly does put off newbies to the swinging scene - unless they are coming specifically for that sort of think. I think the mention of anything kinky, say, in an ad, makes people think you're too hard. Well, I certainly get less replies if I mention kinky than if I don't, even if kinky is not the only thing I am asking for. I do think it is a shame that swinging and BDSM do not cross over more, but hey. Orgasminator
Its one of thoes wonderfull strange odities bluexxx...
Swingers find the BDSM'ers lot a little strange and dont understand them and think they are kinky and depraved and....
BDSM'ers find the swingers lot a little strange and dont understand them and think they are kinky and depraved and...
The non-swingers and bdsm'ers think.....
Thank god I enjoy both... everyone thinks I'm kinky and depraved :rotflmao:
On a sligtly more serious note... its a shame that two "minority" groups can end up putting each other down instead of accepting each other for their respective life style choices especially as the bouderies between the tow can be so grey when things like public scening in BDSM clubs and domination/cuckolding, senarios in swinging are taken into concideration.
That said... it is a small, but vocal, percentage of all the groups that find the others "odd"
Viv la diferance (said in a really bad fake french accent)
Swingers find the BDSM'ers lot a little strange and dont understand them and think they are kinky and depraved and....
BDSM'ers find the swingers lot a little strange and dont understand them and think they are kinky and depraved and...
The non-swingers and bdsm'ers think.....
Thank god I enjoy both... everyone thinks I'm kinky and depraved
:rotflmao: On a sligtly more serious note... its a shame that two "minority" groups can end up putting each other down instead of accepting each other for their respective life style choices especially as the bouderies between the tow can be so grey when things like public scening in BDSM clubs and domination/cuckolding, senarios in swinging are taken into concideration.
That said... it is a small, but vocal, percentage of all the groups that find the others "odd"
Viv la diferance (said in a really bad fake french accent)
Orgasminator
Quote by Vix
but just because I enjoy it doesnt mean that I just go arround tying people up and leaving them hung from the rafters like a side of beef
Oh.
Bummer.
Hey Vix hun... If you're both still coming up to the notts munch I'll bring some rope along especially for you
:twisted: 