People who dress in a certain way are not "asking for it" i often go out in mini skirts low cut tops etc thats just the way i am
People under the influence of drink and/or drugs are certainly more vunerable but again they are not "asking for it" either
The way things are, the victim is often made to feel like a criminal to protect the offender in the first place.
Maybe its our rose tinted view of the world and the many times the offender(s) are made into victims
Dont know if im making much sence but there ya go
Ho hum
I will also just post a little reminder of the AUP for anyone who hasnt read it recently, and will highlight the part which mentions excessive profanity and that it will not be tolerated.
it may have been asa measure to keep the thread on track about the origional post and to try and not make this a personal thing or to try and judge on an individual matter.
sorry that makes sense to me
xx fem xx
My take-
four years ago, I went on board the ship to crew for a few day's. Both my previous seasons aboard had seen me sleeping with a fellow crew member. There are no secrets on the ship, so I was seen as something of a "sure thing."
On this trip, however, I'd pledged to be virtuous and keep my legs shut. Late one night, there were about four of us left in the galley, when a deckie known as a bit of a ladies man cracked open a bottle of whiskey. Before you know it, the others had had their fill & sloped off. He suggested we go up to the fo'c'sle, as chatting in the galley late at night will always mean you're keeping someone awake. I was really quite ratted by this point- and I reckon I'd been given more than my fair share of whiskey.
However, I smelt a rat. But we'd been having a very stimulating conversation, and as I cannot sleep when I'm on board, it was chatting in the fo'c'sle or lying awake for hours in my hammock, listening to the ship creak. So, I laid my cards on the table & said "you do know I'm not going to sleep with you, don't you Bob*" to which he responded- "christ no, we're just a couple of insomniacs putting the world to rights- nothing more!"
Reassured, I went with him. we got up top, and there was a young deck hand sewing up the sleeves in someones coat. After a while of the three of us chatting, the alcohol had really hit me in the cold night air, and I was utterly sloshed. When Bob had a quiet word with the other guy, and the other guy disappeared, I reiterated my stance to Bob. He again reassured me that his intentions were honourable. He was well respected on board, and friends (and cabin mate) with one of the only two guy's I'd trust with my life. So he had to be ok.
Time passed, and as we'd gone out for a crew meal that night I was relatively dressed up- in skintight jeans & a tight T-shirt. I got cold & shivery. When he suggested I cuddle up to him- I did. I cuddle several of my male friends, after all. Before you knew it, he was groping me.
Everything went "clunk" in my head- I told him to lay off, and got up to leave.
What followed was a four hour onslaught by the guy- desperate for me to sleep with him. He followed me around every bit of the ship. He was utterly relentless. Eventually, I managed to get to where my best mate was sleeping, and wake her. I hid way in the heads whilst she tried to get him to back off. Even with her there, he kept on. Trying to tell her that he'd look after me, and she should go back to bed. Eventually, he relented. Next morning, he sheepishly apologised.
I told my male friend what had happened the next day, and he warned him off- big time.
Alcohol marred my judgement. It made me think that the warning signs could have been something else. Would he have me? I don't know. But if he had, he would have been responsible for . I would have been irresponsible for getting myself into that position. I should have known better. I did know better. I was utterly bloody stupid. But the only thing I did wrong was trust him.
Interestingly enough, the next day my best mate felt he was blameless. He was just acting like any bloke would. I was overreacting by being furious with him.
Why's that interesting? She has been .
to?, It wasnt really in sympathy though more in awe of the honesty of your post 
