I checked the car over last week and found a few minor problems to sort out.
So this morning i set about getting em sorted. first up was a faulty light, nice and simple, just pop out the bulb and stick in a new one, Bingo! ....Hmmmmmm
After 10 minutes of trying to work out how to even get at the bulb i called the specialist garage i use for some advice- which came back as having to get at it from the inside of the bumer, underneath. So off i trundle to the shed, empty the entire contents onto the lawn as the car jack is right at the far corner behind several tons of other things. I drag it out and return to the car and jack it up in the air, first job is to the plastic air diffuser/ wheel arch thingy, 3 screws in the most awkward fekin position possible requiring much huffing, puffing and swearing to get it off!
I gaze up into the dark void and focus on the back of the light.... how the hell am i supposed to get the cover off it? what a fine piece of automotive design i saw before me as a bloody huge cable loom was routed firmly across the back of the light i needed to change :doh
at this point i should point out i've fiddled with cars for years, removed engines and gearboxes etc, so i'm not exactly a numptie) after more huffing and puffing, shouting and swearing as i twisted and turned the light cover, off it came....taking a chunk of skin off the palm of my hand....oh joy, something new to swear at
A bit more fiddling and the bulb was changed and the cover put back on, only thing left to do is replace the plastic diffuser/wheel arch thingy......did i mention the impossibly stupidly positioned screws earlier?
Half an hour after starting the simple task of changing a bulb it was shining brightly once more, taking away a little of the sting of the bit missing from my hand. next task, tighten the hand brake a little.
now i did this on another car about 2 months ago. I popped off the little plastic cover under the lever, attached a spanner and five minutes later the job wss done. So, i popped off the little plastic cover, eager to attack the job with my spanner once more and....no adjuster thingy :shock:
I once more looked into a dark void, hoping to see my target but nothing was there to be seen. I removed the spongy insert thingy but there was nothing there either... Bugger! After yet more huffing and puffing i concluded that the centre console had to come out so i could get at it :roll:
first up, remove the 2 front bolts. the first one comes off quite easily, the second one comes off quite easily....then falls down a hole in the front console section :x :x :x .
OK, i'll get it later, onto the back fixings. now some cars have a reputation for shoddy interior fixings, but not mine, oh no...it has the worlds most securly fitted rear ashtray which is handily located right above the rear fixings for the console....so i start the huffing and puffing routine once more :x
The huffing and puffing technique works once more and i can now see the handbrake adjuster....bliss on a stick :mrgreen:
I reach for my socket set and begin to adjust....but wait, it can't be that simple can it, the bloody socket isn't long enough to go over the adjuster nut :doh: so it's out with the spanners again. The gods smile on me as my spanner fits easily onto the adjuster nut, they then have a cheeky giggle as i can turn it about 1/16th of a turn at a time....10 bloody minutes it takes to do this, my hand wedged into another impossibly small gap with a nice sharp edge digging into the back of my already injured hand.
So i put everything back together, having retreived the nut that fell into the front bit, tested everything to check it was fine..... not bad, two 5 minute jobs in just under two hours! I even have time to wash the car before i take it for the MOT.
As i dipped the sponge into the hot, hot water i was reminded of the injury to my hand by the searing stinging sensation....some more swearing and gnashing of teeth followed quickly. :taz:
Finally, with a clean and shiney car with a full compliment of working lights and a newly adjusted handbrake, it was time to head to the MOT centre. I dropped it off and headed home. half and hour later i got a phone call.
'Hello Mr Meaty, this is the MOT centre. You left your car with us earlier....I'm afraid we've just broken our testing machine so we won't be able to MOT your car this week'
I could have had a lie in this morning too :doh:
