Hi
I joined here some time ago as I was having an affair with my brothers girlfriend and she had shown an interest in group sex!!!!!!!!! Well a quick update on that is the affair ended badly ( very badly )
She screwed my head up totally. I had to come clean with my wife and at last start being honest with her.
I told her I was bi which she acceped I obviously am the biggest shit on the planet but she loves me and we are staying together.
We talked about issues in ur marriage and one area was her inability to satisfy my needs due to her reserved nature. She and I have now started making more of an effort. She has never been with another man appart from me and is in the mind set that she only wants me which is fine by me, however I mentioned a fantasy being watching her having sex with another man whilst I watch then joining in, to which she replied you never know you might get your wish one day if you are a good boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I aint sure if this was her just buttering me up but I don't think it was??? I obviosly don't want her to do something she aint comfortable with but this would give or relationship a massive boost so I would encourage her to fulfill this statement.
What are other peoples experience of this type situation? How did you address the issues whilst encouraging your other half to take the plunge but ensure they felt comfortable spreading thier legs with another guy?
She is a straight female so couples would not appeal to her especially having to watch me or knowing i'm having sex with another woman. So i'm thinking possibly a single bi male who dosn't mind sex with the bigger type woman and experienced enough in this area to ensure she was comfortable.
Feedback would be welcome.
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Here's hoping
The relationship building is a long ongoing thing. I'm not looking to push anything with her and I am happy to go at her pace.
As for being ditched the one thing i've always been confidant of is that shes with me to stay no probs there
As I said I just want to get feedback from others who have been in the same sittuation or similar and how best to progress should she bring it up again.
My previous behaviour whils being out of order in the eyes of many is ireliovant here I only mentioned it as a way to re introduce myself and hopefully clear up any issues that may have developed when I was last on here.
I want a clean sheet
:) :) :) :)
As for being ditched the one thing i've always been confidant of is that shes with me to stay no probs there
As I said I just want to get feedback from others who have been in the same sittuation or similar and how best to progress should she bring it up again.
My previous behaviour whils being out of order in the eyes of many is ireliovant here I only mentioned it as a way to re introduce myself and hopefully clear up any issues that may have developed when I was last on here.
I want a clean sheet
:) :) :) :) 
Sex God
well i think cheating on her isnt that big a deal when you consider how often it happens nowadays
However did you say it was with your brothers girlfriend?? now that is pretty scummy behaviour in my books!
However did you say it was with your brothers girlfriend?? now that is pretty scummy behaviour in my books!
I think you're trying to run before you can walk....
You need to work on your relationship right now... you say you told her she's doesn't satisfy YOUR needs and YOU want to swing and YOU know she won't leave you.... perhaps you really need to heal HER heart before going any further?
It saddens me you had the courage to go out and shag your own brother's girlfriend but no balls to sit your wife down in the first place and talk to her about your libido!
I think she must feel pretty low at her apparant failure to please you so get off your pedestal and spend a little time wooing your wife, she obviously loves you and with a little patience and care she may happily welcome a swinging life.
You need to work on your relationship right now... you say you told her she's doesn't satisfy YOUR needs and YOU want to swing and YOU know she won't leave you.... perhaps you really need to heal HER heart before going any further?
It saddens me you had the courage to go out and shag your own brother's girlfriend but no balls to sit your wife down in the first place and talk to her about your libido!
I think she must feel pretty low at her apparant failure to please you so get off your pedestal and spend a little time wooing your wife, she obviously loves you and with a little patience and care she may happily welcome a swinging life.
If it helps....
my marriage died because i caught my ex-husband playing the field. He was placing adverts in magazines and shagging strangers. I went mental and moved out the same day I found out.
I was brought up to be very lady-like - another term for prude in my case - and even the idea of doggy was pushing my limits. :shock:
Here I am, registered on various swing sites and about to marry the love of my life, who definately enjoys shagging women! Before Mids, I would happily try most things once, now I just want to be shagged by him and no-one else but it is a choice based on my desires NOT on out-dated morals imposed by my parents.
Basically, I'm saying give her time, you never know.
Final note - those of you who have never made a mistake, never told a lie, or have always told your partners every embaressing truth - I salute you. The rest of us just go by the seat of our pants.
newt xx
my marriage died because i caught my ex-husband playing the field. He was placing adverts in magazines and shagging strangers. I went mental and moved out the same day I found out.
I was brought up to be very lady-like - another term for prude in my case - and even the idea of doggy was pushing my limits. :shock:
Here I am, registered on various swing sites and about to marry the love of my life, who definately enjoys shagging women! Before Mids, I would happily try most things once, now I just want to be shagged by him and no-one else but it is a choice based on my desires NOT on out-dated morals imposed by my parents.
Basically, I'm saying give her time, you never know.
Final note - those of you who have never made a mistake, never told a lie, or have always told your partners every embaressing truth - I salute you. The rest of us just go by the seat of our pants.
newt xx
Orgasminator
I had a marrage go tits up due to shagging the ex wifes best mate, now as newt said we are getting married and we hope things can only get better and move onwards and upwards from there.
Quote by bograt
Hi
I joined here some time ago as I was having an affair with my brothers girlfriend and she had shown an interest in group sex!!!!!!!!! Well a quick update on that is the affair ended badly ( very badly )
Errr are you asking for sympathy with the "(very badly)" typed in there for effect?? Fraid you ain't gonna get it from over here
Quote by bograt
She screwed my head up totally. I had to come clean with my wife and at last start being honest with her.
She screwed your head up?? You HAD to come clean with your wife?? Oh you poor love, oh you come here, how dare those nasty people do your head in and force you to tell your wife when you didn't want to.
I can't believe your cheek in that couple of sentences .... looks to me like you're completely trying to pass the buck to your brothers girlfriend.
Quote by bograt
I told her I was bi which she acceped I obviously am the biggest shit on the planet but she loves me and we are staying together.
Ahhhhh something I do agree with, biggest shit, even if it was your wifes thoughts and not yours. Not sure about the last part tho, fair play that woman for sticking in there, although I'm not sure that would be the advice I would give her if I was able.
Quote by bograt
We talked about issues in ur marriage and one area was her inability to satisfy my needs due to her reserved nature.
What about her fucking needs??
Course, I've already forgotten that lot above this bit -it's ALL her fault isn't it 
Quote by bograt
She and I have now started making more of an effort. She has never been with another man appart from me and is in the mind set that she only wants me which is fine by me, however I mentioned a fantasy being watching her having sex with another man whilst I watch then joining in, to which she replied you never know you might get your wish one day if you are a good boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I aint sure if this was her just buttering me up but I don't think it was??? I obviosly don't want her to do something she aint comfortable with but this would give or relationship a massive boost so I would encourage her to fulfill this statement.
You don't want her to do something she ain't comfortable with eh?? Of course you do, from what I've read, the way you've written everything - the whole relationship is about you and your needs, it's fuck all to do with your wife. Otherwise why would you mention a fantasy if you didn't want her to indulge in unless she was comfortable ........ why didn't you ask her fantasies instead, why didn't you try to find out one little thing about your poor wife and maybe build on that - but no, it's all about you isn't it. Either she likes your fantasies or you're gonna go off and have another affair, that's probably her thinking right now!!!
Quote by bograt
What are other peoples experience of this type situation? How did you address the issues whilst encouraging your other half to take the plunge but ensure they felt comfortable spreading thier legs with another guy?
Fortunately I haven't had that experience - but I know exactly what I would do if I had. I would've given him the heave-ho the moment he tried to blame me for having an affair!!!!
Quote by bograt
She is a straight female so couples would not appeal to her especially having to watch me or knowing i'm having sex with another woman. So i'm thinking possibly a single bi male who dosn't mind sex with the bigger type woman and experienced enough in this area to ensure she was comfortable.
Oh how thoughtful of you!!!! Shoulda thought about how she would feel "knowing you're having sex with another woman" before you fucked your brothers girlfriend!!!!
Quote by bograt
Feedback would be welcome.
Duly given!! :x
I don't normally comment negatively on the "how do I get my wife to swing" type threads, but bluddy ellfire :shock: :shock: :shock: Maybe I'm just hot and flustered, maybe it's cos I've just walked in from work, maybe it's cos I've got a big spot brewing on me nose
But that post has really got my heckles up :? Couldn't even read the middle to end bit properly for seeing red :? :? :? Maybe I've read all that in the wrong context, maybe you meant it in a different way. I don't know. All I do know is that has come across as utterly selfish and mean, not that you've had the affair, that happens - but the way you've explained everything, it's awful. I hope I've read it all wrong!
Quote by Missy
Hi
I joined here some time ago as I was having an affair with my brothers girlfriend and she had shown an interest in group sex!!!!!!!!! Well a quick update on that is the affair ended badly ( very badly )
Errr are you asking for sympathy with the "(very badly)" typed in there for effect?? Fraid you ain't gonna get it from over here
Quote by bograt
She screwed my head up totally. I had to come clean with my wife and at last start being honest with her.
She screwed your head up?? You HAD to come clean with your wife?? Oh you poor love, oh you come here, how dare those nasty people do your head in and force you to tell your wife when you didn't want to.
I can't believe your cheek in that couple of sentences .... looks to me like you're completely trying to pass the buck to your brothers girlfriend.
Quote by bograt
I told her I was bi which she acceped I obviously am the biggest shit on the planet but she loves me and we are staying together.
Ahhhhh something I do agree with, biggest shit, even if it was your wifes thoughts and not yours. Not sure about the last part tho, fair play that woman for sticking in there, although I'm not sure that would be the advice I would give her if I was able.
Quote by bograt
We talked about issues in ur marriage and one area was her inability to satisfy my needs due to her reserved nature.
What about her fucking needs??
Course, I've already forgotten that lot above this bit -it's ALL her fault isn't it Quote by bograt
She and I have now started making more of an effort. She has never been with another man appart from me and is in the mind set that she only wants me which is fine by me, however I mentioned a fantasy being watching her having sex with another man whilst I watch then joining in, to which she replied you never know you might get your wish one day if you are a good boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I aint sure if this was her just buttering me up but I don't think it was??? I obviosly don't want her to do something she aint comfortable with but this would give or relationship a massive boost so I would encourage her to fulfill this statement.
You don't want her to do something she ain't comfortable with eh?? Of course you do, from what I've read, the way you've written everything - the whole relationship is about you and your needs, it's fuck all to do with your wife. Otherwise why would you mention a fantasy if you didn't want her to indulge in unless she was comfortable ........ why didn't you ask her fantasies instead, why didn't you try to find out one little thing about your poor wife and maybe build on that - but no, it's all about you isn't it. Either she likes your fantasies or you're gonna go off and have another affair, that's probably her thinking right now!!!
Quote by bograt
What are other peoples experience of this type situation? How did you address the issues whilst encouraging your other half to take the plunge but ensure they felt comfortable spreading thier legs with another guy?
Fortunately I haven't had that experience - but I know exactly what I would do if I had. I would've given him the heave-ho the moment he tried to blame me for having an affair!!!!
Quote by bograt
She is a straight female so couples would not appeal to her especially having to watch me or knowing i'm having sex with another woman. So i'm thinking possibly a single bi male who dosn't mind sex with the bigger type woman and experienced enough in this area to ensure she was comfortable.
Oh how thoughtful of you!!!! Shoulda thought about how she would feel "knowing you're having sex with another woman" before you fucked your brothers girlfriend!!!!
Quote by bograt
Feedback would be welcome.
Duly given!! :x
I don't normally comment negatively on the "how do I get my wife to swing" type threads, but bluddy ellfire :shock: :shock: :shock: Maybe I'm just hot and flustered, maybe it's cos I've just walked in from work, maybe it's cos I've got a big spot brewing on me nose
But that post has really got my heckles up :? Couldn't even read the middle to end bit properly for seeing red :? :? :? Maybe I've read all that in the wrong context, maybe you meant it in a different way. I don't know. All I do know is that has come across as utterly selfish and mean, not that you've had the affair, that happens - but the way you've explained everything, it's awful. I hope I've read it all wrong!
What she said.....and no Missy i don't think you read it all wrong.... :thumbup:
well of course it ended badly.....you got caught.....but rather than try to work at your marriage,you want to get your wife swinging.....just to satisfy your needs (your words)....not once have you thought of your wife's.....in my honest opinion....your marriage is doomed if you keep going down this road....and trying to get you wife to do something she really doesn't want to i suggest you work at your marriage rather than thinking with your dick!
Sex God
well said guys, i was maybe too easy on him earlier on, didnt know if it was alright to be cheeky to the self centred, brothers g/f shagging imbecile.
hope your wife does a bunk with your brother, she would be better off.
hope your wife does a bunk with your brother, she would be better off.
Quote by mazandden
well said guys, i was maybe too easy on him earlier on, didnt know if it was alright to be cheeky to the self centred, brothers g/f shagging imbecile.
hope your wife does a bunk with your brother, she would be better off.
:lol2: :thumbup:
Thing is, now I'm worried
I don't want to come across as hypocritical, cos normally when people say "I'm having an affair" "I'm swinging without my husbands/wifes consent" or "How can I get my wife to swing" type threads, I try not to judge or comment too much on circumstances - mainly cos you can never explain circumstances or reasons in something like a forum.But it was the whole attitude of the post that got my heckles up. The whole speedily explain the affair in one glossed over paragraph... followed by 5 paragraphs about how dreadful, non-understanding and unsexual his wife is and it's her fault!!
Purely the whole bluddy attitude :x
Oh gawd, I better stop cos just winding myself up all over again :lol:
Quote by Missy
well said guys, i was maybe too easy on him earlier on, didnt know if it was alright to be cheeky to the self centred, brothers g/f shagging imbecile.
hope your wife does a bunk with your brother, she would be better off.
:lol2:
Thing is, now I'm worried
I don't want to come across as hypocritical, cos normally when people say "I'm having an affair" "I'm swinging without my husbands/wifes consent" or "How can I get my wife to swing" type threads, I try not to judge or comment too much on circumstances - mainly cos you can never explain circumstances or reasons in something like a forum.But it was the whole attitude of the post that got my heckles up. The whole speedily explain the affair in one glossed over paragraph... followed by 5 paragraphs about how dreadful, non-understanding and unsexual his wife is and it's her fault!!
Purely the whole bluddy attitude :x
Oh gawd, I better stop cos just winding myself up all over again :lol:
your just too damn nice.......not like me! :twisted:
Quote by DeeCee
aww missy.... dont get hot and bothered love...............
And how can I not do that with you around DeeCee
:twisted: Quote by da69ve
your just too damn nice.......not like me! :twisted:
:lol2: See now you're being extra nice by quelling my 'explain myself, then go completely overboard with explaining self' paranoia :lol2:
I can't be doing with that shit. No I aint looking for sympathy you stupid person. If you aint got something constructive to say then shut it. Ah bet you never made mistakles???? BTW yes I was shagging my brothers girlfriend full story is he'd been screwing my long term girlfriend years before so he got his come upance, only problem my missus got the crap this time.
I could give you all the facts behind why I act the way I do i.e abuse as a child etc but it aint none of your buisiness. I hate people like you who get of by judging others . I'm just sorry your life has been turned upside down by someone else why else would you want to gob off without the facts. Anyway I aint after enemies Oh and i'm after sympathy????????????? OK???????
by the way you read it all wrong. You'll see it was with respect to a comment my wife made. And I was thinking how should I deal with this sensitively should she decide that she does want to try this. I want to be sensitive to her needs without imposing my views.
Anyway said enough
/
Errr are you asking for sympathy with the "(very badly)" typed in there for effect?? Fraid you ain't gonna get it from over here
She screwed your head up?? You HAD to come clean with your wife?? Oh you poor love, oh you come here, how dare those nasty people do your head in and force you to tell your wife when you didn't want to.
I can't believe your cheek in that couple of sentences .... looks to me like you're completely trying to pass the buck to your brothers girlfriend.
Ahhhhh something I do agree with, biggest shit, even if it was your wifes thoughts and not yours. Not sure about the last part tho, fair play that woman for sticking in there, although I'm not sure that would be the advice I would give her if I was able.
What about her fucking needs?? Course, I've already forgotten that lot above this bit -it's ALL her fault isn't it
You don't want her to do something she ain't comfortable with eh?? Of course you do, from what I've read, the way you've written everything - the whole relationship is about you and your needs, it's fuck all to do with your wife. Otherwise why would you mention a fantasy if you didn't want her to indulge in unless she was comfortable ........ why didn't you ask her fantasies instead, why didn't you try to find out one little thing about your poor wife and maybe build on that - but no, it's all about you isn't it. Either she likes your fantasies or you're gonna go off and have another affair, that's probably her thinking right now!!!
Fortunately I haven't had that experience - but I know exactly what I would do if I had. I would've given him the heave-ho the moment he tried to blame me for having an affair!!!!
Oh how thoughtful of you!!!! Shoulda thought about how she would feel "knowing you're having sex with another woman" before you fucked your brothers girlfriend!!!!
Duly given!! :x
I don't normally comment negatively on the "how do I get my wife to swing" type threads, but bluddy ellfire :shock: :shock: :shock: Maybe I'm just hot and flustered, maybe it's cos I've just walked in from work, maybe it's cos I've got a big spot brewing on me nose But that post has really got my heckles up :? Couldn't even read the middle to end bit properly for seeing red :? :? :?
Maybe I've read all that in the wrong context, maybe you meant it in a different way. I don't know. All I do know is that has come across as utterly selfish and mean, not that you've had the affair, that happens - but the way you've explained everything, it's awful. I hope I've read it all wrong!
I could give you all the facts behind why I act the way I do i.e abuse as a child etc but it aint none of your buisiness. I hate people like you who get of by judging others . I'm just sorry your life has been turned upside down by someone else why else would you want to gob off without the facts. Anyway I aint after enemies Oh and i'm after sympathy????????????? OK???????
by the way you read it all wrong. You'll see it was with respect to a comment my wife made. And I was thinking how should I deal with this sensitively should she decide that she does want to try this. I want to be sensitive to her needs without imposing my views.
Anyway said enough
/
Quote by Missy
Hi
I joined here some time ago as I was having an affair with my brothers girlfriend and she had shown an interest in group sex!!!!!!!!! Well a quick update on that is the affair ended badly ( very badly )
Errr are you asking for sympathy with the "(very badly)" typed in there for effect?? Fraid you ain't gonna get it from over here
Quote by bograt
She screwed my head up totally. I had to come clean with my wife and at last start being honest with her.
She screwed your head up?? You HAD to come clean with your wife?? Oh you poor love, oh you come here, how dare those nasty people do your head in and force you to tell your wife when you didn't want to.
I can't believe your cheek in that couple of sentences .... looks to me like you're completely trying to pass the buck to your brothers girlfriend.
Quote by bograt
I told her I was bi which she acceped I obviously am the biggest shit on the planet but she loves me and we are staying together.
Ahhhhh something I do agree with, biggest shit, even if it was your wifes thoughts and not yours. Not sure about the last part tho, fair play that woman for sticking in there, although I'm not sure that would be the advice I would give her if I was able.
Quote by bograt
We talked about issues in ur marriage and one area was her inability to satisfy my needs due to her reserved nature.
What about her fucking needs??
Course, I've already forgotten that lot above this bit -it's ALL her fault isn't it Quote by bograt
She and I have now started making more of an effort. She has never been with another man appart from me and is in the mind set that she only wants me which is fine by me, however I mentioned a fantasy being watching her having sex with another man whilst I watch then joining in, to which she replied you never know you might get your wish one day if you are a good boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I aint sure if this was her just buttering me up but I don't think it was??? I obviosly don't want her to do something she aint comfortable with but this would give or relationship a massive boost so I would encourage her to fulfill this statement.
You don't want her to do something she ain't comfortable with eh?? Of course you do, from what I've read, the way you've written everything - the whole relationship is about you and your needs, it's fuck all to do with your wife. Otherwise why would you mention a fantasy if you didn't want her to indulge in unless she was comfortable ........ why didn't you ask her fantasies instead, why didn't you try to find out one little thing about your poor wife and maybe build on that - but no, it's all about you isn't it. Either she likes your fantasies or you're gonna go off and have another affair, that's probably her thinking right now!!!
Quote by bograt
What are other peoples experience of this type situation? How did you address the issues whilst encouraging your other half to take the plunge but ensure they felt comfortable spreading thier legs with another guy?
Fortunately I haven't had that experience - but I know exactly what I would do if I had. I would've given him the heave-ho the moment he tried to blame me for having an affair!!!!
Quote by bograt
She is a straight female so couples would not appeal to her especially having to watch me or knowing i'm having sex with another woman. So i'm thinking possibly a single bi male who dosn't mind sex with the bigger type woman and experienced enough in this area to ensure she was comfortable.
Oh how thoughtful of you!!!! Shoulda thought about how she would feel "knowing you're having sex with another woman" before you fucked your brothers girlfriend!!!!
Quote by bograt
Feedback would be welcome.
Duly given!! :x
I don't normally comment negatively on the "how do I get my wife to swing" type threads, but bluddy ellfire :shock: :shock: :shock: Maybe I'm just hot and flustered, maybe it's cos I've just walked in from work, maybe it's cos I've got a big spot brewing on me nose
But that post has really got my heckles up :? Couldn't even read the middle to end bit properly for seeing red :? :? :? Maybe I've read all that in the wrong context, maybe you meant it in a different way. I don't know. All I do know is that has come across as utterly selfish and mean, not that you've had the affair, that happens - but the way you've explained everything, it's awful. I hope I've read it all wrong!
Warming the Bed
Quote by Shireen_Mids
:doh:
i seconded that.....Bograt you are not doing yourself any favours here......what Missy said about you is the truth......simple as that .......take it on the chin like a man.....FFS.....You can't always expect the answers you wanted....
you asked for the feedback and you got it!
Quote by mazandden
well i think cheating on her isnt that big a deal when you consider how often it happens nowadays
However did you say it was with your brothers girlfriend?? now that is pretty scummy behaviour in my books!
How can you say cheating on her isent that big a deal?
me and my bf swing but if he cheated on me behind my back it would be a very big deal.
and once someone you love cheats on you, the trust is gone. id call that a big deal.
Quote by bograt
I can't be doing with that shit. No I aint looking for sympathy you stupid person. If you aint got something constructive to say then shut it. Ah bet you never made mistakles???? BTW yes I was shagging my brothers girlfriend full story is he'd been screwing my long term girlfriend years before so he got his come upance, only problem my missus got the crap this time.
I could give you all the facts behind why I act the way I do i.e abuse as a child etc but it aint none of your buisiness. I hate people like you who get of by judging others . I'm just sorry your life has been turned upside down by someone else why else would you want to gob off without the facts. Anyway I aint after enemies Oh and i'm after sympathy????????????? OK???????
If you post in a public forum.. especially when you say feedback is welcome then you will get responses that you won't like.
You need to read back on these couple of post's and think about what you have wrote, then maybe you will see why people have posted what they have..
Shaz
Quote by bograt
I can't be doing with that shit. No I aint looking for sympathy you stupid person. If you aint got something constructive to say then shut it.
I suggest you quit calling names as from now :twisted:
I thought I was quite constructive. You asked for feedback and you got it..... but it wasn't quite what you wanted was it?? Is this the sort of reaction you give your wife if she doesn't say or do exactly what you want??
Quote by bograt
Ah bet you never made mistakles????
You bet wrong there!! I make mistakes, oh believe me I make loads of the buggers
I've made two of the biggest mistakes of my life in the past year - mistakes that I beat myself up about every single day, I don't get a day off of it .............. I do NOT blame others, I do NOT make excuses for them, I do NOT ask for feedback presuming people will say what I want and get shitty when it's not forthcoming, I do NOT hold anyone else other than myself responsible.
Oh and they certainly weren't done for revenge and then passed off as 'mistakes'!!!
Quote by bograt
BTW yes I was shagging my brothers girlfriend full story is he'd been screwing my long term girlfriend years before so he got his come upance, only problem my missus got the crap this time.
Oh well why didn't you say - that's all right then isn't it!!!! Once again admitting to not one thought towards your wife as far as consequences were concerned at the time.
The ONLY problem is that your missus got the crap?? That one sentence alone says to me that you have no idea of the backlash of your actions, just how much it has affected her - I wonder if you've even asked, or just told her the facts and to deal with em??
Quote by bograt
I could give you all the facts behind why I act the way I do i.e abuse as a child etc but it aint none of your buisiness. I hate people like you who get of by judging others . I'm just sorry your life has been turned upside down by someone else why else would you want to gob off without the facts. Anyway I aint after enemies Oh and i'm after sympathy????????????? OK???????
Read my post again, read the bottom of it - twice, I think, I said it wasn't your actions that got my back up - it was your attitude, they way you worded your initial post, attitude not your actions. There is no way anyone can put a full history along with reasoning for a certain important event, like you said, some things go back a long way with lots of little things in the path, then you get the straw that breaks the camels back - I wouldn't judge someone on two lines of a post, no history etc. What I can comment on and did, was your attitude, your attitude to the backlash of what you done and your attitude towards your wife ......... the way you type I mean, not real life, cos once again I don't know. But if it's anything you speak on here, then it stinks!!!
Quote by bograt
by the way you read it all wrong. You'll see it was with respect to a comment my wife made. And I was thinking how should I deal with this sensitively should she decide that she does want to try this. I want to be sensitive to her needs without imposing my views.
No it wasn't!!!!! It was with respect to a comment you made TO your wife
"She has never been with another man appart from me and is in the mind set that she only wants me which is fine by me, however I mentioned a fantasy being watching her having sex with another man whilst I watch then joining in, to which she replied you never know you might get your wish one day if you are a good boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Firstly you state that she's not interested in any man other than you. So you go and tell her a fantasy of exactly what she's made clear she's not interested in........ then she made a comment, which you are choosing to pick up on............ ignore all the other signals, everything else she's said to you, just pick up on the bit you liked!!!!!
Quote by bograt
Anyway said enough
I said before I mightve read your post wrong, I might've taken it out of context. I was in fact prepared to apologise if you came back and explained a bit more.
But you didn't, you've just re-enforced my initial thoughts.
Quote by bograt
I can't be doing with that shit. No I aint looking for sympathy you stupid person. If you aint got something constructive to say then shut it. Ah bet you never made mistakles???? BTW yes I was shagging my brothers girlfriend full story is he'd been screwing my long term girlfriend years before so he got his come upance, only problem my missus got the crap this time.
I could give you all the facts behind why I act the way I do i.e abuse as a child etc but it aint none of your buisiness. I hate people like you who get of by judging others . I'm just sorry your life has been turned upside down by someone else why else would you want to gob off without the facts. Anyway I aint after enemies Oh and i'm after sympathy????????????? OK???????
by the way you read it all wrong. You'll see it was with respect to a comment my wife made. And I was thinking how should I deal with this sensitively should she decide that she does want to try this. I want to be sensitive to her needs without imposing my views.
Anyway said enough
/ Hi
I joined here some time ago as I was having an affair with my brothers girlfriend and she had shown an interest in group sex!!!!!!!!! Well a quick update on that is the affair ended badly ( very badly )
Errr are you asking for sympathy with the "(very badly)" typed in there for effect?? Fraid you ain't gonna get it from over here
Quote by bograt
She screwed my head up totally. I had to come clean with my wife and at last start being honest with her.
She screwed your head up?? You HAD to come clean with your wife?? Oh you poor love, oh you come here, how dare those nasty people do your head in and force you to tell your wife when you didn't want to.
I can't believe your cheek in that couple of sentences .... looks to me like you're completely trying to pass the buck to your brothers girlfriend.
Quote by bograt
I told her I was bi which she acceped I obviously am the biggest shit on the planet but she loves me and we are staying together.
Ahhhhh something I do agree with, biggest shit, even if it was your wifes thoughts and not yours. Not sure about the last part tho, fair play that woman for sticking in there, although I'm not sure that would be the advice I would give her if I was able.
Quote by bograt
We talked about issues in ur marriage and one area was her inability to satisfy my needs due to her reserved nature.
What about her fucking needs??
Course, I've already forgotten that lot above this bit -it's ALL her fault isn't it Quote by bograt
She and I have now started making more of an effort. She has never been with another man appart from me and is in the mind set that she only wants me which is fine by me, however I mentioned a fantasy being watching her having sex with another man whilst I watch then joining in, to which she replied you never know you might get your wish one day if you are a good boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I aint sure if this was her just buttering me up but I don't think it was??? I obviosly don't want her to do something she aint comfortable with but this would give or relationship a massive boost so I would encourage her to fulfill this statement.
You don't want her to do something she ain't comfortable with eh?? Of course you do, from what I've read, the way you've written everything - the whole relationship is about you and your needs, it's fuck all to do with your wife. Otherwise why would you mention a fantasy if you didn't want her to indulge in unless she was comfortable ........ why didn't you ask her fantasies instead, why didn't you try to find out one little thing about your poor wife and maybe build on that - but no, it's all about you isn't it. Either she likes your fantasies or you're gonna go off and have another affair, that's probably her thinking right now!!!
Quote by bograt
What are other peoples experience of this type situation? How did you address the issues whilst encouraging your other half to take the plunge but ensure they felt comfortable spreading thier legs with another guy?
Fortunately I haven't had that experience - but I know exactly what I would do if I had. I would've given him the heave-ho the moment he tried to blame me for having an affair!!!!
Quote by bograt
She is a straight female so couples would not appeal to her especially having to watch me or knowing i'm having sex with another woman. So i'm thinking possibly a single bi male who dosn't mind sex with the bigger type woman and experienced enough in this area to ensure she was comfortable.
Oh how thoughtful of you!!!! Shoulda thought about how she would feel "knowing you're having sex with another woman" before you fucked your brothers girlfriend!!!!
Quote by bograt
Feedback would be welcome.
Duly given!! :x
I don't normally comment negatively on the "how do I get my wife to swing" type threads, but bluddy ellfire :shock: :shock: :shock: Maybe I'm just hot and flustered, maybe it's cos I've just walked in from work, maybe it's cos I've got a big spot brewing on me nose
But that post has really got my heckles up :? Couldn't even read the middle to end bit properly for seeing red :? :? :? Maybe I've read all that in the wrong context, maybe you meant it in a different way. I don't know. All I do know is that has come across as utterly selfish and mean, not that you've had the affair, that happens - but the way you've explained everything, it's awful. I hope I've read it all wrong!
Get a grip and get off the agony wagon.
The replies to your post were all based on the info you gave, you asked for feed back and you got it. Swinging is an adult game. come back when you have done a bit of growing up
bograt............ how very sad that you ask for peoples comments and then get all shirty when people give you their 2 pennethworth........
i actually have some sympathy (aswell as empathy ) for you................. its obvious that your head is up your arse and that you are trying whatever you can to salvage your marriage......
at times like this it would be better to have someone to talk to who would be willing to listen and offer constructive advice as to how best to remove your head from up your rectum.... and i applaud you for opening up and telling everyone whats been going on....
however..............seeing as you now seem to have alienated yourself......i reckon that that the chances of this happening nil....
ps. ask your wife to PM me............. ill shag her
i actually have some sympathy (aswell as empathy ) for you................. its obvious that your head is up your arse and that you are trying whatever you can to salvage your marriage......
at times like this it would be better to have someone to talk to who would be willing to listen and offer constructive advice as to how best to remove your head from up your rectum.... and i applaud you for opening up and telling everyone whats been going on....
however..............seeing as you now seem to have alienated yourself......i reckon that that the chances of this happening nil....
ps. ask your wife to PM me............. ill shag her
Quote by DeeCee
bograt............ how very sad that you ask for peoples comments and then get all shirty when people give you their 2 pennethworth........
i actually have some sympathy (aswell as empathy ) for you................. its obvious that your head is up your arse and that you are trying whatever you can to salvage your marriage......
at times like this it would be better to have someone to talk to who would be willing to listen and offer constructive advice as to how best to remove your head from up your rectum.... and i applaud you for opening up and telling everyone whats been going on....
however..............seeing as you seem a thouroughly immature, rude and obnoxious individual with the morals of an alleycat........................i reckon that that the chances of this happening nil....
ps. ask your wife to PM me............. ill shag her
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Yeah sign her up to swinging heaven, there is plenty of guys on here that might show her a lot more respect
Tony
Words fail me! (For a change)
However I do have to make one point- two people I am very close to were abused as children, they both turned out to be decent human beings. Go find yourself another excuse for being a feeble minded individual.
And whilst we're at it, give your wife a chance of happiness- I am sure that she could do so much better than you.
However I do have to make one point- two people I am very close to were abused as children, they both turned out to be decent human beings. Go find yourself another excuse for being a feeble minded individual.
And whilst we're at it, give your wife a chance of happiness- I am sure that she could do so much better than you.
