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HOME ALONE ……………. Advice for aspiring house husban

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john45_sw_uk
Orgasminator
Ok guys, confession time.
I never ever ever ever ever want to see another vacuum cleaner again.
I will never ever ever ever say, “ ah well u got it easy, I godda go out and work for a living” redface surprisedops: :oops:
My god, I have just spent 3 hours vacuuming the house, 3 fecking hours fgs. evil :evil:
I so need to buy that woman a new vacuum cleaner, my back feels like its broke in two.
Ok, I would so love to say, “ housework? PAH, I laugh in the face of housework, easy peasy lemon squeezy!) :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
WRONNNNNNGO!!! Its feckin hard work, 25 degrees here today and I am melting, I’m sweating in parts that I didn’t even know could sweat.
The list:
1) Buy new vacuum cleaner (get advice on best model)
2) Build large kennel at bottom of garden to accommodate 2 mutts. (are they ever getting back in? over my dead body) :evil:
3) Buy a very large supply of disposable plates, cups, cutlery etc.
4) Find out who the local “ I take in ironing “ person is.
5) Find the feckin instruction manual for the washing machine. mad
6) Ring the nearest boarding school and see if they have a free placement. :jagsatwork: smackbottom
7) Employ a maid ………………… hmmmm …………. A maid, French maid…………….. No, no no, Swiss maid, Blonde, leggy, nice ass, nice tits, tiny black outfit…………….. passionkiss blast hump :hump: :bounce: ............ :shock: :shock: Cough, sorry, it’s the heat.
Oh and lastly, order a large bunch of flowers for when she gets back, give her the flowers, go on bended knee and beg her never ever to go away again. worship
So guys, next time you think the missus deserves a treat, buy her a new outfit, some nice jewellery, a new rabbit, a car, anything, just don’t be a plonker and say, “here darling, have a nice break away for a few days”....... :scared: :scared: ...... Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, don’t do it.
Guess I should have put this in the bitchin thread, but it seems to have dropped off the end of the SH planet, which we all know is flat, coz if you go too far, you fall of the end! We could give discworld a run for its money, Terry Pratchet eat your heart out ………………………
Rambeling? ………………………….. Who me? …………………… oh ok bolt
Sxboy
Sex God
Not a dyson over priced and better cheaper ones available
local shed builder to make you one ?
camping shop !!!
local paper
manufacturers web site and download it
yes
yes
you forgot loads of beer
john45_sw_uk
Orgasminator
Beer? BEER??? and when the fec am I supposed to have time for drinking beer? :shock: :shock: :shock: OMG, I'm sounding like the wife already :shock: :shock: :shock:
rotflmao :rotflmao: :twisted:
Unknown User
If your wifes out working, and you're busy knackered after doing housework, why not save the money you'd spend on a new vacuum and instead spend it on . Problem solved lol
Sxboy
Sex God
seems very expensive dewi
now if that was per day i would have that once a month
EagerSlut
Sex God
Have you tried breaking things? dunno
You don't get expected to do all those chorey things if you keep fucking up! :P :twisted:
It works!! :grin: :rascal:
john45_sw_uk
Orgasminator
Quote by bigDewi69
If your wifes out working, and you're busy knackered after doing housework, why not save the money you'd spend on a new vacuum and instead spend it on this. Problem solved lol

HOLY SHIT :shock: :shock: :shock:
how feckin much confused: :?: :?:
Where do i sign? ............. i want a job like that, for that sort of mony I'd clean their drains with me cock.
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus, some people really do have more money that sense rolleyes
Unknown User
Quote by john45_sw_uk
If your wifes out working, and you're busy knackered after doing housework, why not save the money you'd spend on a new vacuum and instead spend it on this. Problem solved lol

HOLY SHIT :shock: :shock: :shock:
how feckin much confused: :?: :?:
Where do i sign? ............. i want a job like that, for that sort of mony I'd clean their drains with me cock.
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus, some people really do have more money that sense rolleyes
Stick a brush on the end of it and you'll have your own version of the fairy powerbrush :lol:
john45_sw_uk
Orgasminator
Quote by bigDewi69
If your wifes out working, and you're busy knackered after doing housework, why not save the money you'd spend on a new vacuum and instead spend it on this. Problem solved lol

HOLY SHIT :shock: :shock: :shock:
how feckin much confused: :?: :?:
Where do i sign? ............. i want a job like that, for that sort of mony I'd clean their drains with me cock.
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus, some people really do have more money that sense rolleyes
Stick a brush on the end of it and you'll have your own version of the fairy powerbrush :lol:
Good idea, now who can i get toplull the lever? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Serendipity
Sex God
Quote by john45_sw_uk
i want a job like that, for that sort of mony I'd clean their drains with me cock.

lol :lol:
My guttering needs cleaning if you can manage that too?
john45_sw_uk
Orgasminator
Quote by Serendipity
i want a job like that, for that sort of mony I'd clean their drains with me cock.

lol :lol:
My guttering needs cleaning if you can manage that too?
Serendipity, I would clean your guttering for free :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Kitty
Sex God
Quote by EagerSlut
Have you tried breaking things? dunno
You don't get expected to do all those chorey things if you keep fucking up! :P :twisted:
It works!! :grin: :rascal:

Either that or you like the punishments whip :whip: :rascal:
john45_sw_uk
Orgasminator
Quote by Kitty
Have you tried breaking things? dunno
You don't get expected to do all those chorey things if you keep fucking up! :P :twisted:
It works!! :grin: :rascal:

Either that or you like the punishments whip :whip: :rascal:
No guys, you aint getting it, she's away on holiday, if i didnt do it I'd be wading in 3 feet of empty beer cans, pizza boxes and mutt hair.
oh update, another pearl of wisdom,, if the misses does go away, never ever think " ah, I'll just slob out for the weekend and then catch up on monday" take it from me, no you wont!!!
I've been at it for almost the entire day, and still have a couple more hours to do tomorrow evil :evil:
sheesh ............... what a palave.
:twisted:
HornyRed
Sex God
I have just advised dino to read this thread :jagsatwork: im going on holiday soon :bounce: :bounce: Dino home alone dunno What was i thinking confused
Unknown User
My god, I have just spent 3 hours vacuuming the house, 3 fecking hours fgs.
If women did it properly in the first place, it wouldn't take so long when we did it would it? dunno
lhk
Kat
Kitty
Sex God
Quote by KitKat
My god, I have just spent 3 hours vacuuming the house, 3 fecking hours fgs.
If women did it properly in the first place, it wouldn't take so long when we did it would it? dunno
lhk
Kat
Bend over!!!! whip :whip:
EagerSlut
Sex God
HornyRed, KitKat and Kitty
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
:rascal: :rascal: innocent :whistling: :whistling:
:uhoh:
bolt
Unknown User
Sorry but housework is a piece of piss. As stated before on here due to my shift work I actualy do most of the housework. I am so sad I really enjoy it.
heaysy
Sexpert
have to say seagull i dont think ur sad for enjoying it so do I and im a house husband to the core and it can be enjoyable , but i def know what its like to doss about for a weekend then catch up when her and the wee one are away and trying to catch up smile its worse than trying to get ready for inspection :P
matt
john45_sw_uk
Orgasminator
Quote by heaysyandck
have to say seagull i dont think ur sad for enjoying it so do I and im a house husband to the core and it can be enjoyable (snip)
matt

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: loon
Unknown User
Quote by john45_sw_uk
have to say seagull i dont think ur sad for enjoying it so do I and im a house husband to the core and it can be enjoyable (snip)
matt

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: loon
lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
No housework is really enjoyable. I would rather do it full time than work.I work on a very busy ward. No chance of chilling on I am at home,I can have a coffee come on here to see whats happening then its back to a bit of ironing smile
heaysy
Sexpert
Quote by john45_sw_uk
have to say seagull i dont think ur sad for enjoying it so do I and im a house husband to the core and it can be enjoyable (snip)
matt

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: loon
hehe think im crazy eh? my last job was with the canals try standing hip deep in a overflow ditch in the middle of winter trying to clear it so the water could flow (think sewage mud clay and rubbish or better example ..the river ankh thro ankh-morpork in the terry pratchett diskworld novels) then compair it to house work believe me the housework is far more enjoyable than my usuall work lol
matt
Unknown User
I also believe by doing the housework the Mrs can save her energy for the more important things in life. So its not that crazy lol
Dino
Sex God
Quote by HornyRed
I have just advised dino to read this thread :jagsatwork: im going on holiday soon :bounce: :bounce: Dino home alone dunno What was i thinking confused

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
john45_sw_uk
Orgasminator
Quote by Dino.
I have just advised dino to read this thread :jagsatwork: im going on holiday soon :bounce: :bounce: Dino home alone dunno What was i thinking confused

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Trust me mate, dont let her go ......................... it's a feckin nightmare :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:
peace and quiet :shock: :shock: :shock: some bloody chance evil
work work work, it never stops ................
tie her up, chain her to the bed, beg, plead, anything ........................ it's not worth it.......
:twisted:
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
HornyRed
Sex God
Quote by john45_sw_uk
I have just advised dino to read this thread :jagsatwork: im going on holiday soon :bounce: :bounce: Dino home alone dunno What was i thinking confused

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Trust me mate, dont let her go ......................... it's a feckin nightmare :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:
peace and quiet :shock: :shock: :shock: some bloody chance evil
work work work, it never stops ................
tie her up, chain her to the bed, beg, plead, anything ........................ it's not worth it.......
:twisted:
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
He can beg and plead all day long worship Im still going and he will just have to cope without me.
or duel :scared:
Unknown User
Come on guys you are letting the side down. For years women have gone on about how hard it is doing all the housework and I used to wonder why they produced morning TV for those poor little ladies as they were to busy with the housework to watch. It is realy very simple and quite relaxing to do honest smile
HornyRed
Sex God
Quote by seagull69
Come on guys you are letting the side down. For years women have gone on about how hard it is doing all the housework and I used to wonder why they produced morning TV for those poor little ladies as they were to busy with the housework to watch. It is realy very simple and quite relaxing to do honest smile

Not just the cleaning to be done, oh no much more than that wink
Unknown User
Quote by HornyRed
Come on guys you are letting the side down. For years women have gone on about how hard it is doing all the housework and I used to wonder why they produced morning TV for those poor little ladies as they were to busy with the housework to watch. It is realy very simple and quite relaxing to do honest smile

Not just the cleaning to be done, oh no much more than that wink
He hasn't got to empty the dish washer has he lol A dish washer was the best present my wife got me bless her :lol:
Dino
Sex God
Quote by HornyRed
Come on guys you are letting the side down. For years women have gone on about how hard it is doing all the housework and I used to wonder why they produced morning TV for those poor little ladies as they were to busy with the housework to watch. It is realy very simple and quite relaxing to do honest smile

Not just the cleaning to be done, oh no much more than that winkit really isnt that hard, ive got myself a pile of disposable plates, plastic knives, forks n spoons. Im not gonna wear clothes during the day so they will be cleaner for longer, put a sleeping bag on the bed so the sheets wont need washing/ changing etc, sending the washing to the launderette and getting a service wash( includes ironing)and the day before she comes home, ive got a cleaner coming round for £20,,,, Sorted biggrin :wink: gives me time to watch the Ausses get whooped