Honesty Thread

28 Sep 2009

saw this elsewhere, and it was a right chuckle to read, so thought I'd try it here.
Things you could put on your profile but wouldnt dream of doing!!
mine would be
prefers bridget jones knickers to thongs silly

hwoar:
and
somethimes farts during over zealous masturbation by a. n other redface

ops:

28 Sep 2009

Can ejaculate in world record time if required and excited.
Kisses like a haddock with asthma.
Has the sexual allure of a bacon grinder and a penis so small that even a dustmite would be disappointed.

28 Sep 2009

can repeat.............after fag break lol

28 Sep 2009

Hopeless
lp

28 Sep 2009

Quote by Bear69
can repeat.............after fag break

If you take some antacid you can avoid that y'know. Beware of garlic as well.
I think mine would be 'I bore easily and I like to sleep on me own'.
.

28 Sep 2009

Quote by Thebonediggers
saw this elsewhere, and it was a right chuckle to read, so thought I'd try it here.
Things you could put on your profile but wouldnt dream of doing!!
mine would be
prefers bridget jones knickers to thongs hwoar:
and
somethimes farts during over zealous masturbation by a. n other ops:

at least I'm not alone with the farting lol
and I squirt during sex

28 Sep 2009

if you tell me how good you are during sex i will punch your face in
hates wearing stockings cos looks like the mitchellin mans older sister smuggling tatties

28 Sep 2009

As reliable as poundshop condoms, please don't expect me to turn up on time redface

28 Sep 2009

loves to wear leather but looks like a burst sofa :shock:

28 Sep 2009

Always forget to lie to protect myself - not a bad fault in some ways!

28 Sep 2009

Ohhhhhhhh!!!! not only bad punctuation but a bit off topic - bad man!!!!!!!!!
Things I might not put on my profile:
Please don't hurt me!
I prefer puppies to pussys actually.
Sex is overated - love is the drug.
Just after a cuddle!
Thats me done - coat removed from peg post haste!

29 Sep 2009

Quote by earthchild
if you tell me how good you are during sex i will punch your face in
hates wearing stockings cos looks like the mitchellin mans older sister smuggling tatties

:laughabove: rotflmao

That soooo made me laugh, yet nod sagely!

29 Sep 2009

In reply to the OP, I should add:
You probably won't make me come but I'll have a good time anyway.
Please excuse the lived-in look - I have been.
I often keep my bra on, to prevent bruising of the knees.

30 Sep 2009

BEWARE!!!
Having recently regained the use of 'The Dangely Bit' after almost 12 months of ID
"I'm feckin GAGGIN for it"
redface

yeah, that'd really work :lol2:

30 Sep 2009

Quote by soul-girl
saw this elsewhere, and it was a right chuckle to read, so thought I'd try it here.
Things you could put on your profile but wouldnt dream of doing!!
mine would be
prefers bridget jones knickers to thongs hwoar:
and
somethimes farts during over zealous masturbation by a. n other ops:

at least I'm not alone with the farting lol
and I squirt during sex
ok being really honest here:-
I've not had a decent shag since January 2009 when I did my last MMF.

30 Sep 2009

Quote by meat2pleaseu
As reliable as poundshop condoms, please don't expect me to turn up on time

you and me both... I have been working on this "time keeping" thing..... I blame laid back caribbean in me (when i am the most punctual in the family, you know we have issues!!!)
so isn't being "fashionably late" fashionable anymore?

30 Sep 2009

Quote by Pete_sw
BEWARE!!!
Having recently regained the use of 'The Dangely Bit' after almost 12 months of ID
"I'm feckin GAGGIN for it"

yeah, that'd really work :lol2:

Or....
Caution: May cause drowning!
:giggle:

30 Sep 2009

Quote by fabio
As reliable as poundshop condoms, please don't expect me to turn up on time

you and me both... I have been working on this "time keeping" thing..... I blame laid back caribbean in me (when i am the most punctual in the family, you know we have issues!!!)
so isn't being "fashionably late" fashionable anymore?
Maybe i have a bit of carribbean blood then (or maybe i'm just a disorganised fucker instead)
I do try but things sort of conspire against me. my last meet was planned for early evening. i got to the hotel at about 9pm, collected my meet half an hour later and then the satnav sent we on a mystery tour, so we got back to the hotel about
still a fab evening, just a bit later than planned surprised

ops:

1 Oct 2009

OK... at the risk of being a little too honest ....
I don't cum very easily (although enjoy trying) so may pretend to make ya feel better (and am a very convincing actress)!!
I play with myself far too much cos I'm never satisfied! redface

During a swap, I often look over at Mr Fun and think "awwww they are having sooooooo much more fun than me .... not fair!!!" :twisted:
So now I'm gonna get loads of offers hey!!! rotflmao

3 Oct 2009

Im not the easiest to make cum so I often fake it cos you may bore me senseless... Please bring plenty of lube cool

Minxie :rascal: xx

4 Oct 2009

I eat kebab............ rolleyes

4 Oct 2009

The truth is, I couldn't get a shag in a brothel even if I had a pocket full of money. Not had much in the way of luck lately! sad

6 Oct 2009

well i would love to put
If I really like you i'd love to shag you but the missus may not let me cos your prettier and slimmer...
and
May get bored half way through - give me a minute
or
If you say your gonna cuff me to the bed I expect it
or
Dirtier than a miners helmet
bolt