How can I best introduce my wife to swinging?

5 Jun 2009

Quote by fem_4_taboo
hes been here almost 5 years and is only 30 joined aged 25, probally not long into his marriage.
if he dont want these kinda replies then dont be so dumb in asking swingers who base stuff on trust and consent how he can MAKE his wife wanna swing.
xx fem xx

The trouble is Fem that it is rife on here.
I aint gonna throw morals around, blimey I get guys to come round and shag the mrs but...the whole thing seems rather bizarre to me.
I wondered if it is all one big wind up, or are some people a bit slow on the uptake?
Mrs777 would chop me balls off if she found out I had done anything like that.....now that is scary. wink

5 Jun 2009

Quote by uncomplicated
Hi all, I was wondering if any of you had any ideas on how best to make my wife want to start swinging. I have not raised the idea with her as yet and am quite nervous about doing so. I need some way of making her think we both have come up with the idea. We often fantasise about us being watched by guys and them joining in but I don't know how to approach her to ask to do it for real. What you all think?

(insert name)this is swinging,swinging this is (insert name)

6 Jun 2009

Well I certainly got a varied range of replies thats for sure. Firstly I have to say that yes I have been a member since 2006, however within that time I have never met with anyone. I have had bi curious fantasies since seeing the diversities that frequent this sight. Is this a crime to have fantasies? I have used the time on SH to learn more about the swinging scene and am only now feeling confident enough about approaching her. Hearing her fantasies I still do not know if she would want to play them out for real, this is my dilema. I want to ask but am afraid of the backlash. I agree that she would be hurt by the fact that I have been a member on here I know, therefore the advice request was valid in terms of presenting the question to her. Lets be honest how many members of this sight actually meet up and are who they say they are. I would wager that less than 10% are true swingers and not just single guys looking for a quick fix. I am trying to use the sight for its intended purpose and not for a quick bunk up....Apologies for any agrivation my thread caused anyone, I was just trying to gain titbits from everyones own experience.

6 Jun 2009

aint no swingers here ......move along now,

6 Jun 2009

Quote by uncomplicated
Well I certainly got a varied range of replies thats for sure. Firstly I have to say that yes I have been a member since 2006, however within that time I have never met with anyone. I have had bi curious fantasies since seeing the diversities that frequent this sight. Is this a crime to have fantasies? I have used the time on SH to learn more about the swinging scene and am only now feeling confident enough about approaching her. Hearing her fantasies I still do not know if she would want to play them out for real, this is my dilema. I want to ask but am afraid of the backlash. I agree that she would be hurt by the fact that I have been a member on here I know, therefore the advice request was valid in terms of presenting the question to her. Lets be honest how many members of this sight actually meet up and are who they say they are. I would wager that less than 10% are true swingers and not just single guys looking for a quick fix. I am trying to use the sight for its intended purpose and not for a quick bunk up....Apologies for any agrivation my thread caused anyone, I was just trying to gain titbits from everyones own experience.

Welcome to the forums.
I'm not in a relationship, so I'm no use advice-wise. Having seen various similar threads, I would say the advice most often given is be open and communicate.
Anyway, I hope you guys manage to get something sorted that is mutually enjoyable.
Nola x

6 Jun 2009

Erm, just ask her confused

Nicely

6 Jun 2009

Quote by uncomplicated
Well I certainly got a varied range of replies thats for sure. Firstly I have to say that yes I have been a member since 2006, however within that time I have never met with anyone. I have had bi curious fantasies since seeing the diversities that frequent this sight. Is this a crime to have fantasies? I have used the time on SH to learn more about the swinging scene and am only now feeling confident enough about approaching her. Hearing her fantasies I still do not know if she would want to play them out for real, this is my dilema. I want to ask but am afraid of the backlash. I agree that she would be hurt by the fact that I have been a member on here I know, therefore the advice request was valid in terms of presenting the question to her. Lets be honest how many members of this sight actually meet up and are who they say they are. I would wager that less than 10% are true swingers and not just single guys looking for a quick fix. I am trying to use the sight for its intended purpose and not for a quick bunk up....Apologies for any agrivation my thread caused anyone, I was just trying to gain titbits from everyones own experience.

To be honest here....had you of said these things at the top of your thread, am sure that the replies would have been different.
Only telling half a story is likely to only get half the answers.

6 Jun 2009

Quote by uncomplicated
Lets be honest how many members of this sight actually meet up and are who they say they are. I would wager that less than 10% are true swingers and not just single guys looking for a quick fix. I am trying to use the sight for its intended purpose and not for a quick bunk up....Apologies for any agrivation my thread caused anyone, I was just trying to gain titbits from everyones own experience.

Why do people who pose the type of questions that you have, always end up saying nonsense like this?
If you've been here for three years and, as you say above, have never met anyone but spent all your time fantasising - how on earth are you in a position to judge what others do as "true swinging" or not?
My advice to you is that if you want to swing and want your wife to join you, open your mind up a tad. After all, if you ever get around to talking to your wife, she might turn out to be totally into the idea........of a threesome with a single guy that she only wants to meet once, have sex with and then never see again! Then you'll be turning to the exact same group of people you've just disparaged and happily calling it swinging! lol

6 Jun 2009

you joined in 2004.

7 Jun 2009

Quote by uncomplicated
Well I certainly got a varied range of replies thats for sure. Firstly I have to say that yes I have been a member since 2006, however within that time I have never met with anyone. I have had bi curious fantasies since seeing the diversities that frequent this sight. Is this a crime to have fantasies? I have used the time on SH to learn more about the swinging scene and am only now feeling confident enough about approaching her. Hearing her fantasies I still do not know if she would want to play them out for real, this is my dilema. I want to ask but am afraid of the backlash. I agree that she would be hurt by the fact that I have been a member on here I know, therefore the advice request was valid in terms of presenting the question to her. Lets be honest how many members of this sight actually meet up and are who they say they are. I would wager that less than 10% are true swingers and not just single guys looking for a quick fix. I am trying to use the sight for its intended purpose and not for a quick bunk up....Apologies for any agrivation my thread caused anyone, I was just trying to gain titbits from everyones own experience.

Hi Uncomplicated, welcome to the forums and I really do hope you get things sorted out.
As for what you have and what you havent done in the time you have been a member of this site, well personally, I feel that this has got nothing to do with anyone on this site, and is between you, your wife and anyone else you may or may not have met. You have no reason to feel you have to justify yourself to other members of this site and should never be made to feel that you need to do so.
As for opening up the discussion with your wife, I can only suggest that you do it very carefully and slowly. YOU know her better than any of us, so only you can decide the right way to go about it, but I would say that if she does show any resistance or any doubts, then please do not push it. Your marriage is worth a lot more than fullfilling a fantasy or two.
As I said, please do not ever feel that you need to justify your actions, as Im sure no one on here is that perfect that they have never done something that others would consider inappropriate (I know Im certainly a long way from perfect). You asked for advise, and you got some (good and bad) but you didnt ask for, or deserve such harsh judgement.
So good luck with whatever you decide to do wink