How do i get my....................

20 Oct 2005

I have had a browse st your sticky section regarding mentoring, but this might never happen , so i thought i would throw my question to the floor.
Hello all,
Very new to this.
My question to all you experienced swingers is:-
My wife an I are both in our early 30â€™s and my wife has increasingly said over the past few months on a number of occasions (when she has had a drink) how much she fancies other women that she notices when we are out together.
This I may add is rare, due to having kids, our social life is privileged. How do I get her to try and get with a womanâ€¦??
I have seen her snog another woman when she had a few to many one night, and WOWâ€¦!! The best thing I had ever seen.
Sometimes when we are at it, she gets excited at the thought, but ti her it is just a thought.
What tact should I useâ€¦??
She is a good looking girl, tall slim (not in bad nick for having two kids).
I am dying to try the swinging thing with her.
O great ones please helpâ€¦!!
I am also up meeting other people, never tried, and scared to deathâ€¦.!!
Please no replies from perverted single men, this is a general question.
Regards
The Purple Helmet
(cheesy name, all I could think of at the time)
:shock:

20 Oct 2005

I'd suggest you get yourselves known in the cafe by joining in the threads that interest you, dip your toe in the water by putting up a thread or two of your own, and when you've carved out your little niche here ask to go to a munch or mini munch social.
Remember that these are purely social occasions but when the drinks have got everyone.......erm...........relaxed a bit, then peeps do get a bit touchy feely (all within the bounds of decency I hasten to add).
I'm sure you'd have a thoroughly enjoyable evening and would be well on your way to swinging heaven. wink

:wink:
You've got to put in some leg work here first though before you'll start to reap the rewards :thumbup:
PS I wouldn't bother with the photo ads unless you want to be bothered by a load of desperate timewasters and spammers.
Good luck smile

20 Oct 2005

Hello! Well I'm sure that are lots of people here that can give you some excellent advice.
it seems that at the moment she holds the idea as a fantasy not to be acted upon. Trying to hurry her towards your goal of swinging with others will not make her any more comfortable with it .
I suggest using her fantasy and yours as you are doing now . . .enhancing your sex lives together. Talk to each other about what you would like to do with others either together, seperate etc. Try and work out what each other really wants. And check out with her in the cold light of day whether she really meant what she was saying or was it all brouight on by your brillaint love making! I would think that as yet she's still trying to work out for herself if she is ok with all of this.
It's taken mr KC and me a year or so if not longer where we are at the point that I am comfortable with the idea of him participating in sex with another woman. And to some degreeit's taken him time to be ok with my fantasies . And we are a very open couple with each other that trust each other implicitly.
You really need to be patient with her and remember that you both need to work together on this, don't rush it, be honest with each other and accept each other's limitations and set yourselves some ground rules.
Good luck x

20 Oct 2005

Quote by purplehelmet

Please no replies from perverted single men, this is a general question.
Regards
The Purple Helmet
(cheesy name, all I could think of at the time)
:shock:

Try not to upset the single guys with your first post. There are a lot of us on here and we are a friendly and informative bunch. Don't think that only couples can have an intelligent opinion.
And be aware of the piss-takers - Couples and singles!! :shock:
Mal
wink

20 Oct 2005

Quote by purplehelmet
What tact should I useâ€¦??

Talk a bit with her about it and then talk a lot more!!!!!
Have a laugh BOTH getting to know the forum and some of it's characters (including the pervy single men :shock: )
Fantasies in the heat of pasion and after a few drinks are all very well but you must both be VERY sure in the cold light of day.
Have fun

20 Oct 2005

what makes you think the single guys on this site are perverted, and why can't male halfs of couples or even women be perverts?
strange thing for someone to say after only being here for 1 day, we are all here for the same reason maybe you should try being more polite in future when asking for help.
But my suggestion is wait till she asks to meet another woman, you are fastly turning her fantasy into your and pushing for it, if she really wants to do this she will.

20 Oct 2005

Hello and welcome from me!
We were very much in the same situation as yourselves until this year.
All such talk was fantasy only!
Well we are still not swingers (and probably never will be), however I have had the great fortune to have experienced f/f - and absolutely tremendous it was too. I was very lucky - it was with a very lovely lady who was and is a great friend.
I hope if your partner ever turns the fantasy into reality she is as lucky as I was.
My advice would be - don't jump too quickly - stick around here and get a feel for the place and the people - attend a few socials. You may decide to then take it further or to stick at fantasy. But whichever, you will be doing it with a more informed mind. The big upside is that you will have made some great friends along the way.
Good luck in whatever you do.
Alex x

20 Oct 2005

There is no magic technique for "persuading" a partner to try swinging. You know your wife much better than any of us do - if she tells you that she prefers to keep it as a fantasy only, then that's it isn't it?

20 Oct 2005

Welcome to the asylum, purplehelmet.
Here's a little reading for you . . . . .
For one on "bi-curious" click here
And part of the result - click here
For one on "perverted single men" mad

click here
After that, why not show her the site ?
Join in - in her own right?
If shewants to - it canhappen.
My own advice for what it's worth; is that you can encourage her and be supportive - BUT - the second your encouragement and support even begins to feel, to her, as persuasion - it'll be time to draw a line under it and listen to the sometimes true clichÃ© that "Some fantasies are best left as just that"

20 Oct 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
what makes you think the single guys on this site are perverted

err, we probably are a bit redface

:giggle:
then again, most of the people on here are- half the reason we're here.
come on Naughty, say the words
'Im A Pervert & Proud'
Purple, if you think about it, wanting your wife to sleep with another woman while watching or joining in, could be perceived as perverted.
if everyone involved is happy with it- get pervy :thumbup: hope it works out for you both

20 Oct 2005

Sorry, no offence intended.
Yea I have only been on here for 1 day. Your right not all blokes are perverted. However I am just trying to get away from the half wits out there who just want to give stupid answers (forum spammer) instead of sensible ones.
Fair point, there is no point being on here if you are not perverted in someway (I know I am).
Maybe I should come along to a bash or whatever you call them and test the water.
biggrin