Hi, i am looking for advice on how to tell / ask my girlfriend that i want us to start swinging with other couples. i have had a swinging relationship with a couple, as a single guy in the past. And have been to clubs too. Now i would like to swing with her, and i am finding it difficult to bring up the subject. Any advice is appreciated. i did think about just swinging as asingle, but dont want to cheat on her, and i think i would have ten times more fun if she was involved. well thanks for now. purplemonkey.
Going from my past experience i would suggest to anyone who is going into a new relationship who was a swinger and would like to carry on to be open from the start and tell their new partner str8 away that way its upto them what they choose to do, bit tricky now tho, i have been there myself but i guess i was one of the lucky ones who hubby came round to the idea and now is a bigger teat than me not everyone will warm to it the same tho.
It's not about 'telling' at all Purple, it is about talking and understanding and honesty and both wanting the same thing - they all go hand in hand in my opinion. Take the time to tell her what you want and take the time to listen to what she wants, if it doesn't match then, forget it. If it does - enjoy
one of the best ways is to just ask, maybe if you come from the angle that youd like to see her with another guy?? another way is if you watch porn together then get one with swinging in ti and say that seems fun? end of day if its not her thing then thats that. if it is be careful its something that you do really want with her and you dont get mixed up, youve only swung as a single guy so far. good luck xx lou xxx
You start with the question "Hey babe, what turns you on?" If one of her answers is "swinging" - you tell her you are up for that. If it isn't, come back and ask for more advice. lhk Kat
Quote by Kit It's not about 'telling' at all Purple, it is about talking and understanding and honesty and both wanting the same thing - they all go hand in hand in my opinion. Take the time to tell her what you want and take the time to listen to what she wants, if it doesn't match then, forget it. If it does - enjoy
maybe i worded it wrongly, i wouldnt just tell her i did put tell/ask. but i agree with what you put thankyou
Quote by naughtynymphos1 Going from my past experience i would suggest to anyone who is going into a new relationship who was a swinger and would like to carry on to be open from the start and tell their new partner str8 away that way its upto them what they choose to do, bit tricky now tho, i have been there myself but i guess i was one of the lucky ones who hubby came round to the idea and now is a bigger teat than me not everyone will warm to it the same tho.
its not really a good idea to tell a prospective boy/girlfriend you swing or have done in the past, i would think they would run a mile surely, unless they have done similar themselves Hope fully i will also be a "lucky one" too
Quote by fem_4_taboo one of the best ways is to just ask, maybe if you come from the angle that youd like to see her with another guy?? another way is if you watch porn together then get one with swinging in ti and say that seems fun? end of day if its not her thing then thats that. if it is be careful its something that you do really want with her and you dont get mixed up, youve only swung as a single guy so far. good luck xx lou xxx
Quote by dargento lol@kit kat...... that post is priceless........ that must be in with a shout for best post....or whatever it is in sexy stephs comp
many a true word spoken in jest. One of the most important aspects of a successful swinging couple, is to be looking for what turns your partner on, not what turns you on, Although we (kit and I) do have endless discussions "what do you want to do?" "No, what do YOU want to do?" :sad: there is no perfect solution! lhk Kat
Quote by purplemonkey Going from my past experience i would suggest to anyone who is going into a new relationship who was a swinger and would like to carry on to be open from the start and tell their new partner str8 away that way its upto them what they choose to do, bit tricky now tho, i have been there myself but i guess i was one of the lucky ones who hubby came round to the idea and now is a bigger teat than me not everyone will warm to it the same tho.
its not really a good idea to tell a prospective boy/girlfriend you swing or have done in the past, i would think they would run a mile surely, unless they have done similar themselves Hope fully i will also be a "lucky one" too but thats my point, if you want to carry on swinging isn't it best to tell them upfront so they can run a mile b4 you get to close? If you ask her now and she runs a mile it will be much worse
Quote by naughtynymphos1 Going from my past experience i would suggest to anyone who is going into a new relationship who was a swinger and would like to carry on to be open from the start and tell their new partner str8 away that way its upto them what they choose to do, bit tricky now tho, i have been there myself but i guess i was one of the lucky ones who hubby came round to the idea and now is a bigger teat than me not everyone will warm to it the same tho.
its not really a good idea to tell a prospective boy/girlfriend you swing or have done in the past, i would think they would run a mile surely, unless they have done similar themselves Hope fully i will also be a "lucky one" too but thats my point, if you want to carry on swinging isn't it best to tell them upfront so they can run a mile b4 you get to close? If you ask her now and she runs a mile it will be much worse very true i have fecked up, but we will see. if not i'm ok with it if yes, i'm over the moon
Thankyou everyone who has replied, i will take all your advice, and hopefully be able to pluck up the courage to broach the subject. i will take it easyand not push my gf into anything, she does not want. i am hoping she too wants to try it, but like me is scared to bring up the subject. we have a good relationship together and i will not jepordise it for anything. well wish me luck, i think i am ready to talk to her now after reading what you guys have posted. Now where did i put those "bravery pills" purplemonkey
Quote by doctor69 At last i have found a decent swinging site!! I have been swinging for 4 years but mainly with friends etc. If anyone would like to chat private, PM me or send an email, photos available
i gather you dont tell her that you swing alone then????? or if you do she does too.....if thats the case we would like to know her name on SH please as we would be interested in meeting up me thinks ......
i had the same prob yrs ago,but as you get to know someone a little better,u can usually gauge what kind of reaction your going to get. i wrote it all down, what i would like to do and left it for her, i sat there shaking while she read it in front of me. it took her a while for it to sink in,but now we'v discussed it many many many time's she's fine with the no boubt ther will be times when we discuss it again lol you have got to be honest with her and let her decide if its what she wants to do. hope it all works out
Hi babe, My advise would be that you need to sit her down and say you have something on your mind and simple tell her how your feelings. Give her chance to digest what you say and even expect her to shout and carry on. The thing is if you dont tell her it will build up inside you and you will be very tempted to play without her and, as you have said, you dont want that. The best way is total honesty here and if she isn't interested then at least you will know where you stand, as in swinging with her. Best of luck hun :hump:
Quote by purplemonkey Going from my past experience i would suggest to anyone who is going into a new relationship who was a swinger and would like to carry on to be open from the start and tell their new partner str8 away that way its upto them what they choose to do, bit tricky now tho, i have been there myself but i guess i was one of the lucky ones who hubby came round to the idea and now is a bigger teat than me not everyone will warm to it the same tho.
its not really a good idea to tell a prospective boy/girlfriend you swing or have done in the past, i would think they would run a mile surely, unless they have done similar themselves Hope fully i will also be a "lucky one" too Dunno about that purplemonkey, my partner told me of her 'sexual deviences' about 10 years after we had met ( not that she had been doing anything behind my back, she abstained after we got together)....... and i can only imagine how hard it was for her then. The question you go to ask yourself is a simple one, if you don't talk to her about it straight way...... when will be the right time ?
i have just started seeing my new gf and told her from the start that i was in to swinging 3 somes with 2 girls meeting couples she said no way never its not for me and said im very strait would never go with a girl i said thats ok if we get to gether i will stop swinging she said thats good since then we are now together and she came to me and said i have been thinking about swinging and its been getting to me i now want to try itand has been looking for a fem or couple for her first time it looks like we will be setting up a new provile on here as a couple in the next 2 weeks im now well happy
Quote by KitKat You start with the question "Hey babe, what turns you on?" What doesnt turn me on Swinging is defo my answer :rascal: Lets go do it Im not easy tho hwoar: lhk Kat
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not everyone will warm to it the same tho.
there is no perfect solution! 
:hump:
hwoar: 