You covet what you seek! Why do you seek it!
Do you ever get to the point in your life where you think you finallly found yourself only to be happy with yourself long enough for maybe "say"a month or two or a year or two only to find youre looking for something else and never seem to be satisfied or totally fulfilled?
Is there some substance in the "seven year itch theory"
Do we settle for less than we really want?
Is there something greater than what we have already out there?
Are we really satisfied or is it just me who is restless and looking for something else!?
Im in a rather spectacular if not one sided sexual realationship right now and looking for answers Im not even sure are there to find!
Maybe this is some kind of obscure stupid post that comes up once in a while!
Will we ever know the real answer to the mysteries of the universe!? Is there a plan or life map set our for us!?
If we could have the answer right now would we really want all that information?
And what about fate? Does it really exist?
My brain hurts again?
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How do you find your real self?
Sex God
the answers to most of the abve is what i'm looking for too fruity
My head hurts and I'm all raw emotionally
is it normal to feel this way?
My head hurts and I'm all raw emotionally
is it normal to feel this way?
Me, I'm happy with my lot, grateful for what I've got. If anything else nice comes round the corner then it's a lovely surprise. Try not to actively search for more, you will never be satisfied and always searching. Don't presume everything is yours by right, you either earn it or are given it.
On the other hand, if there is something in your life that you are not happy with or grateful for, then change it or change your outlook on it.
All the above tho, is cancelled out when suffering hangover, not a happy bunny yesterday
in fact feeling v. sorry for self :lol2:
Misschief - content with her lot (unless hungover)
On the other hand, if there is something in your life that you are not happy with or grateful for, then change it or change your outlook on it.
All the above tho, is cancelled out when suffering hangover, not a happy bunny yesterday
in fact feeling v. sorry for self :lol2:Misschief - content with her lot (unless hungover)
On one hand im very happy with what ive got 
On the other have have ambition for a lot of things in life.I am satisfied how things are but i think without ambition and dreams that you may as well just be stuck,going round in circles and never getting anywhere.I think that youve gotta have dreams and ambitions as if you have everything what drives you to keep going on??
On the other have have ambition for a lot of things in life.I am satisfied how things are but i think without ambition and dreams that you may as well just be stuck,going round in circles and never getting anywhere.I think that youve gotta have dreams and ambitions as if you have everything what drives you to keep going on??
I think we always strive for more.....in many ways that is good...but in relationships can ofcause cause friction and problems.
Its an old adage...but i say...live each day as it comes.
Take what life throws at you and deal with it as it arrives. I think life is a journey with a start and an end. On route there are ups and downs...you just got to ride them out. I always remember when down that round the corner is a hill i got to climb and then the view will be fantastic.......!!!!
Its an old adage...but i say...live each day as it comes.
Take what life throws at you and deal with it as it arrives. I think life is a journey with a start and an end. On route there are ups and downs...you just got to ride them out. I always remember when down that round the corner is a hill i got to climb and then the view will be fantastic.......!!!!
Finding yourself is one of those things in life that just happens. You dont need specialist web sites or over priced consultants, just sit back enjoy the ride and one day you will wake up and you will realise youve found what your looking for.
Im not sure that we have a destiny, in that I cant prove it , but I thnk we do. On day all the jigs saw bits seem to have fitted into place and its a great feeling!!
Relax and enjoy, it will happen in its own time!!
Im not sure that we have a destiny, in that I cant prove it , but I thnk we do. On day all the jigs saw bits seem to have fitted into place and its a great feeling!!
Relax and enjoy, it will happen in its own time!!
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Me, I'm happy with my lot, grateful for what I've got. If anything else nice comes round the corner then it's a lovely surprise. Try not to actively search for more, you will never be satisfied and always searching. Don't presume everything is yours by right, you either earn it or are given it.
Once in my life for a period of about 12 years I was extremely successful in my chosen career, when it ended I told myself (and everyone else) that actually I was content just to put food on the table and be thankful that I'd had so much at least once, and had managed to save a little at the time for a rainy day.
Of course it was a lie, it is still a lie, I want it all back in spades. I'm not going to get it, I lack the energy and the will, but it hasn't ever stopped me wanting it or regretting its passing. I have always thought people with a career they have always wanted are very lucky, most of us work for a living, to work for the joy of the job must bring a contentment I have never known.
I guess Misschief is talking about emotional life mostly, but my emotional life has always been unsatisfactory so not much to talk about, I guess that's one reason why the money thing has been so important, to my wife also I think, we both missed out on the "oneness" thing. In these circumstances being able to go an blast a load of cash on some or other goody may not be the answer, but it does delay the onset of the question. The answer to which being, "Yes I fucked up my entire life" is not one I really wanted to face.
Too many questions there Fruity, so I'm going to answer the one, "how do you find the real you".
For years I believed love would complete me. I wasn't loved as a kid and craved it as an adult, but the forms in which Love presented itself to me still didn't fill that gap. In fact it tore a little tear into a gapping big hole. And love hurt too much anyway.
I've done the ambitious career choice thing and I've done a fair bit of traveling and still I didn't find me.
Finding me was a baptism of fire, a poorly child needing open heart surgery and a marriage that couldn't handle the strain of it all.
But now that the dust has settled I'm the happiest I've ever been. I now know what is important to me. My kids validate me. I admit, for a few years there I'd become complacent with my lot and my kids where more like a chore inbetween work commitments. I didn't know how to be a mother because I wasn't raised by one. But I do know how to love and this unconditional love is so much more rewarding than any other kind of love I may have yearned for before. If all I'm ever gonna get or be in this life is a mother then I am blessed. But if I'm a Good Mother, then I'm truly blessed.
And that may sound sad and boring to some of you out there. But my boys are my Joy.
For years I believed love would complete me. I wasn't loved as a kid and craved it as an adult, but the forms in which Love presented itself to me still didn't fill that gap. In fact it tore a little tear into a gapping big hole. And love hurt too much anyway.
I've done the ambitious career choice thing and I've done a fair bit of traveling and still I didn't find me.
Finding me was a baptism of fire, a poorly child needing open heart surgery and a marriage that couldn't handle the strain of it all.
But now that the dust has settled I'm the happiest I've ever been. I now know what is important to me. My kids validate me. I admit, for a few years there I'd become complacent with my lot and my kids where more like a chore inbetween work commitments. I didn't know how to be a mother because I wasn't raised by one. But I do know how to love and this unconditional love is so much more rewarding than any other kind of love I may have yearned for before. If all I'm ever gonna get or be in this life is a mother then I am blessed. But if I'm a Good Mother, then I'm truly blessed.
And that may sound sad and boring to some of you out there. But my boys are my Joy.
Sex God
Quote by zootle
I think I know what I want and what would make me happy and content. I don't currently have it though so I guess, maybe, when I find what I want then what I want may change into something else!
About sums me up there too Zootle
You know, So many factors in life change how we feel and, to a point, who we are. Even the weather can change our mood and the touch of a person can create a negative or positive reaction. My philosophy is always try to do at least one thing a day that will bring a smile to your face. Sounds to simple, it is, think of the times you have been satisfied with life. Generaly we are satisfied because we are happy, obvious, but we don't tend to search out for those special moments of happiness. That satisfaction of laughter, or incredible joy because you have acheived. Some find eternal happiness in sex alone but, to many others, that is just one third of their life. What happens, as some do, you go off of Sex!! is chocalate going to give that thrill or would it be riding your Motorbike as fast as possible down the M1? Getting drunk or smoking, seeing a comedy or spending time with a soul mate. We all have basic needs: Love, Sex and Laughter! we have to have at least one a day to find happiness - That to me is our fix
A bit of waffle there with a touch of philosophy, I'm only trying to say persue Joy and being content just for that space of time will bring survival, i think
A bit of waffle there with a touch of philosophy, I'm only trying to say persue Joy and being content just for that space of time will bring survival, i think
I think this is a wonderful thread Fruity.
I was in that hamster wheel of working to live up until about 3 years ago,when i finally decided to break the circle.I walked away from a very high paying career and scaled everything down,i started menial local jobs(the dignity of labour!).I fell madly in love and the secrets of the universe seemed to open up to was however, fleeting and for a while now i have been left alone,kind of trapped in an environment that I no longer recognise or like.
However the healing time has allowed me to question my life, the universe and above all myself.
Now i am about to embark on a new chapter and once again I am going to find my single most important thing i have learned is that i must find my own peace of mind and threrefore happiness,no one person can do that for me.
There is much more to find out and there is always something more to discover,but for me it comes from inside.
I was in that hamster wheel of working to live up until about 3 years ago,when i finally decided to break the circle.I walked away from a very high paying career and scaled everything down,i started menial local jobs(the dignity of labour!).I fell madly in love and the secrets of the universe seemed to open up to was however, fleeting and for a while now i have been left alone,kind of trapped in an environment that I no longer recognise or like.
However the healing time has allowed me to question my life, the universe and above all myself.
Now i am about to embark on a new chapter and once again I am going to find my single most important thing i have learned is that i must find my own peace of mind and threrefore happiness,no one person can do that for me.
There is much more to find out and there is always something more to discover,but for me it comes from inside.
Quote by Scandal
This is how I see it:
When we consider and reflect upon Nature at large, or the history of mankind, or our own intellectual activity, at first we see the picture of an endless entanglement of relations and reactions, permutations and combinations, in which nothing remains what, where and as it was, but everything moves, changes, comes into being and passes away. We see, therefore, at first the picture as a whole, with its individual parts still more or less kept in the background; we observe the movements, transitions, connections, rather than the things that move, combine, and are connected. This primitive, naive but intrinsically correct conception of the world is that of ancient Greek philosophy, and was first clearly formulated by Heraclitus: everything is and is not, for everything is fluid, is constantly changing, constantly coming into being and passing away.
or, don't make any plans you're fucked anyway!
I think and feel that the here and now is a good enough place to be. Analysing yourself and being self aware takes a great deal of honesty, time and ability to change things you discover you don’t like. I am constantly changing and growing because I choose to.
I am in control of my destiny and therefore I only have myself to blame or congratulate.
Love
Wilma
x x x x
I am in control of my destiny and therefore I only have myself to blame or congratulate.
Love
Wilma
x x x x
You need to take a step back and look at your life and ask "am i happy" and if the answer is no, then you need to examine the areas that you are unhappy with and work out what you can do practicably to change things.
Some parts of your life might be easy to change and others might be very hard. Take one step at a time to reach your goals.
The way i think of life is that you have one chance in life, go for what you want, be selfish, be choosy.
Its your life and you are the master of your own destiny. Live your life for you and if other people dont like if, fuck them. True friends will love who you are and not what they want you to be.
Be honest and true to yourself and never ever accept second best.
Some parts of your life might be easy to change and others might be very hard. Take one step at a time to reach your goals.
The way i think of life is that you have one chance in life, go for what you want, be selfish, be choosy.
Its your life and you are the master of your own destiny. Live your life for you and if other people dont like if, fuck them. True friends will love who you are and not what they want you to be.
Be honest and true to yourself and never ever accept second best.
Bloody hell! I've forgotten who posted the original message! Fruity? 
I used to say that to seek happiness in life is foolish, and that contentment was enough.
Now I believe differently, Happiness is a possibility for everyone to achieve. It is not easy, it takes hard work, honesty and courage.
The key for me was two things. First, listening to those around me, understanding their needs, and deciding if it was in me to meet those needs, then, doing something about it. If it wasn't, helping them to find someway that they could be met. The second part was by far the hardest part, making sure that those around me understood what my needs were, then letting them decide for themselves if they wanted to do something about them.
My happiness depends on many different people in my life, and there are many different people whose life I help make happy.
lhk
Kat
I used to say that to seek happiness in life is foolish, and that contentment was enough.
Now I believe differently, Happiness is a possibility for everyone to achieve. It is not easy, it takes hard work, honesty and courage.
The key for me was two things. First, listening to those around me, understanding their needs, and deciding if it was in me to meet those needs, then, doing something about it. If it wasn't, helping them to find someway that they could be met. The second part was by far the hardest part, making sure that those around me understood what my needs were, then letting them decide for themselves if they wanted to do something about them.
My happiness depends on many different people in my life, and there are many different people whose life I help make happy.
lhk
Kat
Sex God
Quote by fruity1976
You covet what you seek! Why do you seek it!
Because I covet it.
Do you ever get to the point in your life where you think you finallly found yourself
No, I've always known where to look for myself.
only to be happy with yourself long enough for maybe "say"a month or two or a year or two only to find youre looking for something else and never seem to be satisfied or totally fulfilled?
I don't want to "find myself" in that sense because it implies stagnation. Searching for "total fulfilment" seems to me an exercise in futility. As a human being I am naturally progressive and inquisitive, and for me that means that success is a journey, not a destination.
Is there some substance in the "seven year itch theory"
Only for those who assume that stability and progression are mutually exclusive.
Do we settle for less than we really want?
Yes, and if we're smart we're grateful for it. I want to live forever, but I'll settle for a hundred years because I recognise the difference between ambition and wishful thinking.
Is there something greater than what we have already out there?
Depends what you mean by greater. If it's material things, those are all attainable and getting them is a lot more fun than having them. If it's a spiritual identity, I think it would be naive ever to assume that we had "arrived" at some ultimate ideal. Far more satisfying to appreciate the stepping stone you're on and move on to the next as your curiosity dictates.
Are we really satisfied or is it just me who is restless and looking for something else!?
I am satisfied that where I am is the result of my actions and my inactions. I count the blessings I have bestowed on myself and continue to appreciate them as I seek to add to them without blaming or resenting others for their blessings.
Im in a rather spectacular if not one sided sexual realationship right now and looking for answers Im not even sure are there to find!
Serendipity is a pleasure that's easy to miss out on: When digging randomly, delight in what you find, rather than mourn for what you don't find.
Maybe this is some kind of obscure stupid post that comes up once in a while!
It's neither obscure nor stupid. Everybody's looking for answers. Most people just forget to think of a question.
Will we ever know the real answer to the mysteries of the universe!? Is there a plan or life map set our for us!?
If there is, then it doesn't matter what you "try" to do. I prefer to make my own map. It may not be a pretty or clever one, but it is mine.
If we could have the answer right now would we really want all that information?
I wouldn't recognise the answer unless I knew what the question was. Right now I don't particularly want to know what the question is. If i knew what the question was, I might be blinded to the answers to questions i never thought of.
And what about fate? Does it really exist?
My brain hurts again?
It doesn't matter whether fate exists. What matters is whether you believe it exists. If you believe it exists, all other questions are rendered meaningless. I prefer to live my life as if there were no such thing as fate. If fate exists, I don't want to know about it.
I looked in the mirror this morning, and there i stood.
It was me, as I remember from looking the other day.
I was happy with what I saw. I was standing, I was in good health, I was my usual normal self.
Was I happy?
Yes....
After 51 years of getting knocked about by one thing or another both physically and mentally, it seems that I have come through it all well, all things considered.
I know that next year will hold some big changes for me, changes that I am looking forward to. Changes that I will make freely.
As for now, I will njoy christmas with my family.
Get a little drunk, have a little hangover.
AND
Thoroughly have a good time.
It would seem that i have found myself (not that I have been looking).
I would therefor like to whish you all a very merry CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR.
It was me, as I remember from looking the other day.
I was happy with what I saw. I was standing, I was in good health, I was my usual normal self.
Was I happy?
Yes....
After 51 years of getting knocked about by one thing or another both physically and mentally, it seems that I have come through it all well, all things considered.
I know that next year will hold some big changes for me, changes that I am looking forward to. Changes that I will make freely.
As for now, I will njoy christmas with my family.
Get a little drunk, have a little hangover.
AND
Thoroughly have a good time.
It would seem that i have found myself (not that I have been looking).
I would therefor like to whish you all a very merry CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR.
haha I think I just lose the plot for a week weeks a few times of the year! Dunno must be working Ive still not been commited yet haha
But wow its good to know Im not the only one with all this mad stuff running around my head!
I remember this time about 5 years ago I thought I was nuts! Too many thoughts although sometimes my brain just goes into overdrive sometimes! Like throwing a million questions at yourself and looking for a quick answer! Suppose there is no right and wrong answer and its not gonna just come that quick eh!
But wow its good to know Im not the only one with all this mad stuff running around my head!
I remember this time about 5 years ago I thought I was nuts! Too many thoughts although sometimes my brain just goes into overdrive sometimes! Like throwing a million questions at yourself and looking for a quick answer! Suppose there is no right and wrong answer and its not gonna just come that quick eh!
Quote by Kitty n Jack
What caused me a load of hassle growing up was my sexuality. My parents were not the most understanding or open-minded people although I loved them dearly.
I can relate to that, but not for the sexual inhibition. However my parents, my mother in particular, was a strict disciplinarian who was sure and certain that "the way we do things in our family is like this". As a result, a lot of ambitions and plans that I laid in my youth were stamped on, and I think many of the inhibitions I still live with today come from that cause.
My Mother would be appalled to think she had been the cause of unhappiness in that way, and there is no doubt she did and does love us all. Of course she was keeping things together for us in the only way she knew how, and probably felt we would be best served not to be too ambitious for ourselves in any unconventional way.
Much of the upbringing is still with me, and whilst I make the comments above, some of it must have stuck because despite the above I still say in real life, I think we are sentient beings and we should be able to "get over it". Some of us do it better than others.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to but they do.
They fill you with all the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
Sex God
Quote by fruity1976
Why the feck to I ask so many bloody questions??
Because you're a member of a race of nosey bastards called homo sapiens. ;)
I think our insatiable curiosity is the trait which, more than any other, sets us apart from other creatures. It gets us into truckloads of trouble, but it also got us to the moon.
The thoughts expressed here are great and show such diverse views which is why I for one keep on coming back in here.
Each of us with the different perspectives on things making life interesting and in some cases tollerable. Each of our emotions can be expressed quite differently also, and is it at all possible to put a definitive definition on an emotion??
When i say "happy", it will mean something entirely different to someone else. My happiness could be representative of someone else's complete unhappiness. My "sadness" could again be someone else's happiness. Since these words are used to form in others' mind an impression of how we feel, they can never truly be an expression of who we are. No other can really appreciate what the feeling is, since the words are based upon our perspectives.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Each of us with the different perspectives on things making life interesting and in some cases tollerable. Each of our emotions can be expressed quite differently also, and is it at all possible to put a definitive definition on an emotion??
When i say "happy", it will mean something entirely different to someone else. My happiness could be representative of someone else's complete unhappiness. My "sadness" could again be someone else's happiness. Since these words are used to form in others' mind an impression of how we feel, they can never truly be an expression of who we are. No other can really appreciate what the feeling is, since the words are based upon our perspectives.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Quote by Kitty n Jack
the prize which is really being happy.
I think "happy" might be a bit too much for me. It's a transient thing at the best of times, but I do hope one day I will find contentment.
I am something of a "loner" but I've drifted that way through a marriage in which we have really lived quite separate lives. It's not the same as wanting to be alone, which I don't. I like small groups not big ones, and known friends more than strangers, and dinner parties more than piss-ups. However I am not yet free so for the time being I'm enjoying being here as a contact, not with a "swinging" lifestyle, but certainly among people with a less straight laced attitude to life.
