i have just sat and read most of the posts and i dont belieave how 90 per cent of you guys have had ago at mac for the question he asked well it as sure put me off asking any questions on here i belieave you have all blown it well out of proportion there was a simple answer to the question he asked which was 2 or three times a week or what ever not slag him off for what non of you no what he as done or not done and before you all start on me tha only thing he should not have said is is wife is crap in bed but hey we all say things sometimes and the other thing is why should he not join the site there
will be thousands of married men on here and the wife dont no and its not cheating on your partner unless you carry out a meeting reading the posts and so on is not a crime
i have pleasure of reading the posts on here and so on ,and yes before you all ask my wife does no anyway i have said my bit, and this is to mac i think you do have a problem and i dont think it to be unreasonable to want to make love with your wife while you were away Supra
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how much sex in marriage?
Sex God
Quote by supra59uk
i have just sat and read most of the posts and i dont belieave how 90 per cent of you guys have had ago at mac for the question he asked well it as sure put me off asking any questions on here i belieave you have all blown it well out of proportion there was a simple answer to the question he asked which was 2 or three times a week or what ever not slag him off for what non of you no what he as done or not done and before you all start on me tha only thing he should not have said is is wife is crap in bed but hey we all say things sometimes and the other thing is why should he not join the site there
will be thousands of married men on here and the wife dont no and its not cheating on your partner unless you carry out a meeting reading the posts and so on is not a crime
i have pleasure of reading the posts on here and so on ,and yes before you all ask my wife does no anyway i have said my bit, and this is to mac i think you do have a problem and i dont think it to be unreasonable to want to make love with your wife while you were away Supra
And.............breathe. Doesn't the full stop on your keyboard work? Your post might have made more sense had it been punctuated a little better.
Sex God
Quote by constance
I think it is so sad that macman_uk got such rude and judgemental replies.
What has happened to all the nice careing people that used to be on this site?
some moved on constance, but they posted their nice careing side to me to look after and use so keep an eye out for it.
davej caring in a quirky way......
Sex God
Quote by macman_uk
I am sorry but that just cracked me up
S'alright - I guess it is funny and happened more than once - I don't think I smell of poo... or cabbage. I guess I have a wife who doesn't like sex then eh?as your on a swinging site,and i am not being funny here ,have you ever thought of asking the wife if she wanted to make love with another man say while you watch or asked her if she has any fantasys just wondering and in reply to your origanal question me and the mrs make love once a day pmt permitted .
Sex God
We have to remember here that each and every one of us have different values & beliefs. What is right for some people may be wrong for others. We should all remember this when we reply to these threads ( got my counselling head on now soz) :jagsatwork:
Master of Sex
Quote by JudyTV
Sometimes people have to hear unpleasant truths.
Well ,when I did my training as a counsellor the two main things that was majored on was ...Never give a personal opinion
Never give advice
and certainly never give home truths unpleasant or otherwise.
Basically a counselling role is about listening and NOT about advising. That should be left to people such as the Citizens Advice bureau where they have specialist professionals to give unpleasant truths.
Jude
Jude, a lot of what I did was Outreach stuff, and we had to tackly some really disturbing things (I won't go into details: I'm sure you can imagine). The best thing we found was to tackle it head-on - telling people to stay away from person A could sometimes be part of that, due to person A having a bad reputation.
It may not have been professional of us, but we did keep people away from a lot of shit.
Quote by shireen
I have to say I have read all of this thread but I still agree with what byron is saying.... It sounds to me like you always expect something in return for doing something for your wife...
Pleeease show me where I have indicated that.
I have sex, on average, every 6-7 weeks. It is in the original LIGHT HEARTED question. Where in my posts do I say that I do something with the idea that I will be rewarded with sex like some dog performing a trick for a biscuit, and that I am eventually rewarded with sex 6 weeks after the first time I washed up because of my perserverance????
Quote by shireen
Steve and I have on several occasions gone away for the weekend, stayed in a lovely hotel and had a really nice evening.... However, when we went to bed we didn't have sex.... It wasn't expected by either person and neither of us felt any pressure to have to perform at the end of the evening.... We were content with each others company....
I bet you have had a few weekends where the sex has been wild, too? I haven't. What would have happened if one of you had different expectations - or does that never, ever happen for you two? What would have happened if, as a couple, you had not had sex for 6 weeks?
OK. We go away too. Most times sex doesn't happen - sometimes it is not even expected! I don't ALWAYS expect it - again, where do I state that? The situation was - wedding anniversary, first night's stay in a posh hotel for years - am I wrong to expect that, with sex a rarity in my normal everyday life, that this may have been a nice opportunity to do something different? Maybe it was my wife who was wrong to say it would spoil a lovely evening?
Quote by shireen
Perhaps she is just fed up with being expected to perform all the time... And I am sorry but despite your assurances that you know where the buttons are etc, have you asked her if she enjoys sex?? And dont come back with the she wouldn't want to talk about it etc, if you haven't asked her then you dont know the answer....
PERFORM ALL THE TIME? mmm let me go back AGAIN to the question - on average 6-7 weeks. All the time? nah!
My wife doesn't enjoy sex... obviously. Why do you take the line that I really don't know the buttons to press - completely impossible that I am doing the right things to the wrong person is it?
As I said earlier - she won't talk about it. What can I do about that? Or is that she really will talk about it and I am not asking her correctly?
Quote by shireen
Oh and for a final comment..... What on earth possessed you to ask such a question on a forum such as this?? Are you likely to get any responses from couples on here?? icon_
Sorry? Such a question? "Just wondering how many times the married couples on here have sex"... it is a blinking sexually orientated web site? You ever read the SWINGERS stories? There it is, just there on the left of your screen. Stories posted by swingers, amongst other people.
I obviously misjudged what USED to be a nice friendly place for some simple, light-hearted banter.
I am truly sorry that this thread has developed in this way, and I have gone into details I didn't want to - but it is also nice to see a good few responses in defence of the roasting I am getting - not to mention a few kind PMs.
Room - lighten up!
Now, I wonder if my wife wants a coffee.....
Sex God
hey m8 bet your fucked with all this typeing :lol: i have just sat and read most of the posts and i dont belieave how 90 per cent of you guys have had ago at mac for the question he asked well it as sure put me off asking any questions on here i belieave you have all blown it well out of proportion there was a simple answer to the question he asked which was 2 or three times a week or what ever not slag him off for what non of you no what he as done or not done and before you all start on me tha only thing he should not have said is is wife is crap in bed but hey we all say things sometimes and the other thing is why should he not join the site there
will be thousands of married men on here and the wife dont no and its not cheating on your partner unless you carry out a meeting reading the posts and so on is not a crime
i have pleasure of reading the posts on here and so on ,and yes before you all ask my wife does no anyway i have said my bit, and this is to mac i think you do have a problem and i dont think it to be unreasonable to want to make love with your wife while you were away Supra
Thanks Supra, although a bit of a pause between sentences would help you no end! Your support and understanding is nice to see. Although I didn't want to go into the deeper replies - my hand was forced by the responses I got.
I joined this site when it was a (virtually) nice friendly place for a chat and the odd PM - I am not surprised it has scared you off.
I will probably hang around for a bit....
Quote by macman_uk
I bet you have had a few weekends where the sex has been wild, too? I haven't. What would have happened if one of you had different expectations - or does that never, ever happen for you two? What would have happened if, as a couple, you had not had sex for 6 weeks?
:rotflmao: Like this time last year you mean just after Steve had had a massive heart attack?? Our work shifts also mean that sometimes we dont get any "us" time for 3 or 4 weeks so I do know what you are talking about....OK. We go away too. Most times sex doesn't happen - sometimes it is not even expected! I don't ALWAYS expect it - again, where do I state that? The situation was - wedding anniversary, first night's stay in a posh hotel for years - am I wrong to expect that, with sex a rarity in my normal everyday life, that this may have been a nice opportunity to do something different? Maybe it was my wife who was wrong to say it would spoil a lovely evening?
You answered your own question there really.... The best thing is to assume nothing that way anything you do get is a bonus....
Quote by shireen
PERFORM ALL THE TIME? mmm let me go back AGAIN to the question - on average 6-7 weeks. All the time? nah!
Like I said before sometimes the time isn't right, situations happen that just dont make you feel like having sex.... God only knows I have been in that position, but did Steve go off and try to find sex elsewhere?? No he didn't because he values our marriage...
My wife doesn't enjoy sex... obviously.
As I said earlier - she won't talk about it.
There is no obviously about it at all.... As I said have you asked her?? Outright so she had to answer you?? If so what did she say??
Sorry? Such a question? "Just wondering how many times the married couples on here have sex"... it is a blinking sexually orientated web site? You ever read the SWINGERS stories? There it is, just there on the left of your screen. Stories posted by swingers, amongst other people.
If any of the couples answer your question it wont help though will it.... How can you equate a swinging sex life to a vanilla one?? Swinging enhances a swinging couples sex life and therefore the figure is likely to be a higher one....
The answers you are looking for are not here but at home.... Sorry to be blunt but that is how it is....
Shireen
Quote by northeastcoupleuk
I am sorry but that just cracked me up
S'alright - I guess it is funny and happened more than once - I don't think I smell of poo... or cabbage. I guess I have a wife who doesn't like sex then eh?as your on a swinging site,and i am not being funny here ,have you ever thought of asking the wife if she wanted to make love with another man say while you watch or asked her if she has any fantasys just wondering and in reply to your origanal question me and the mrs make love once a day pmt permitted .
HOOOOORRRRAAAAYYY! An answer! And it was friendly! Thank you so much northeastcoupleuk!
As far as swinging goes... unlikely, but thanks for the suggestion. My first problem is getting her to have sex more often with me first!
btw: I just love to type!
And constance and hisandhers... thanks for your support too.
Sex God
if you looked before i did answer your q was not being funny ,ask her about what turns her on and if she says men with shaved head peirced tounge and big willy s whos down fall is to support sunderland ,who has lots of expeirce of going down :lol: then tell her to pm me :lol: (only a jest ) :lol:
was not being funny ,ask her about what turns her on and if she says men with shaved head peirced tounge and big willy s whos down fall is to support sunderland ,who has lots of expeirce of going down :lol: then tell her to pm me :lol: (only a jest ) :lol: God only knows I have been in that position, but did Steve go off and try to find sex elsewhere?? No he didn't because he values our marriage...
Where have I gone and found sex elsewhere? You keep giving examples of when you either CAN'T have sex due to work or illness or with both parties not being interested. Totally different to one partner constantly saying no... isn't it? I tell you what... when one of you really wants sex - give it a go and refuse, and keep on refusing for 6 weeks, see how it affects your relationship, it is frustrating believe me, and has nothing to do with your situation at all.
There is no obviously about it at all.... As I said have you asked her?? Outright so she had to answer you?? If so what did she say??
Yep... as I keep saying I have asked her... we have discussed it as far as she is prepared to. If this had been a more friendly discussion I would be prepared to go more into how the discussions went - but it isn't, so I won't. You will still think I haven't asked her anyway.
If any of the couples answer your question it wont help though will it.... How can you equate a swinging sex life to a vanilla one?? Swinging enhances a swinging couples sex life and therefore the figure is likely to be a higher one....
The answers you are looking for are not here but at home.... Sorry to be blunt but that is how it is....
Could have sworn I started the original question along the lines of it probably being the wrong place to ask. To be honest, of course it won't improve things if people respond. As far as I was concered the question didn't involve me wanting to improve things - I was just interested. I really wish I hadn't bothered - can 't think why!
This thread has brought out a side of me which is rarely seen in forums - and I frequent a lot of forums - sorry, but you made me say it!
Quote by northeastcoupleuk
if you looked before i did answer your q
Sorry... missed that with all the abuse (although mostly in a fairly friendly way) that was being thrown at me!
Quote by macman_uk
God only knows I have been in that position, but did Steve go off and try to find sex elsewhere?? No he didn't because he values our marriage...
I tell you what... when one of you really wants sex - give it a go and refuse, and keep on refusing for 6 weeks, see how it affects your relationship, it is frustrating believe me, and has nothing to do with your situation at all.
I just did
Yep... as I keep saying I have asked her... we have discussed it as far as she is prepared to. If this had been a more friendly discussion I would be prepared to go more into how the discussions went - but it isn't, so I won't. You will still think I haven't asked her anyway.
OK the only thing I will ask then is did she give a reason??
This thread has brought out a side of me which is rarely seen in forums - and I frequent a lot of forums - sorry, but you made me say it!
:roll:
Shireen
You just did what shireen. I don't understand what you just did?
edit: OK I see what you were referring to. OK, so it has happened to you. For how long a period? I am talking about over 8 years of marriage... want to try it? I don't expect my wife to want sex every time I want to - I haven't stated that at all.
If I am being honest, no, she can't give a reason.
edit: OK I see what you were referring to. OK, so it has happened to you. For how long a period? I am talking about over 8 years of marriage... want to try it? I don't expect my wife to want sex every time I want to - I haven't stated that at all.
OK the only thing I will ask then is did she give a reason??
If I am being honest, no, she can't give a reason.
Quote by macman_uk
You just did what shireen. I don't understand what you just did?
Quote by macman_uk
God only knows I have been in that position, but did Steve go off and try to find sex elsewhere?? No he didn't because he values our marriage...
I tell you what... when one of you really wants sex - give it a go and refuse, and keep on refusing for 6 weeks, see how it affects your relationship, it is frustrating believe me, and has nothing to do with your situation at all.
You said about refusing sex for 6 weeks etc, and I said I had already been in that position.... Combine it with the birth of a child, post natal depression child being a dreadful sleeper and you have the recipe for divorce.... Yet we have managed to keep it together.... Why?? Because sex is not the end of the world but the breakup of our marriage would be.... For the both of us...
If I am being honest, no, she can't give a reason.
I always knew why I didn't want to have sex, be it being depressed or tired or even having had a stressful day with the kids.... Perhaps you need to tell her that this has become an issue for you and you would like to try and find out why she no longer wants to be intimate
Shireen
Quote by macman_uk
edit: OK I see what you were referring to. OK, so it has happened to you. For how long a period? I am talking about over 8 years of marriage... want to try it? I don't expect my wife to want sex every time I want to - I haven't stated that at all..
Sorry just noticed your edit....
This was a period of about 3 years so no not as long as you but still long enough to be a problem....
And I am sorry but you have come across as wanting sex all the time.... And trust me the more you push the more she will back off...
Quote by macman_uk
Where have I gone and found sex elsewhere?
As you have been a member of this site since Aug 2003 and you have been actively seeking meets (I have read your other posts) then I would say that while you have not necessarily found sex that is only because you haven't had a meet yet....
Shireen
Macman, Every so often someone raises this theme and all the predictable lets have a go at cheaters responses are given an airing yet again. Take no notice as what you have is biased responses from a very small minority. Both men and women cheat on their partners and most are not open about it even on this site. Even fewer admit to it. On this site it is some guys who will post about it but natualy women don't. It is common to find couples where one of them has a lower sex drive than the other. I don't think your situation is unique. It is sad that people on this site cannot be open about certain matters without receiving biased, rude and intollerant responses. Very few swingers will tell friends, family and people they work with that they are swingers because of the predictable responses they will receive. Sadly the same is the case for men and women who cheat on their partners on this site. I was naive at first and expected better when I started using the site. Now the good news! In the past I received lots of support and pms which indicates that whilst most people accept it goes on but no one wants to talk about it openly on this site. I treat you with respect and would expect that you will have tried to improve your sex life with your partner but with limited success. You wanted to share this on this site in an open and genuine way still hoping to find ways but sharing your emotional as well sexual frustration with others in a similar situatiom. It wont happen here! I have made some great contacts and also chatted to a number of people by being on this site. It takles place however outside the forum - emails, pms, phone calls etc.
Take care and don't give up hope, Cheetah
Take care and don't give up hope, Cheetah
Quote by JudyTV
If you have been on here all that time and haven't found sex or a meet then I am now wondering if the initial post started out as a attempt at trying to get a sympathy shag that has badly backfired. We have gone all around the houses with this one and you still seem to be no nearer an answer to your initial post. What is it you are ultimately trying to achieve here? Other than increasing your post count. :confused: :confused: :confused:
Jude.
JudyTV,
How you have read into my original post that it was an attempt to get a sympathy shag I cannot fathom. This is a sexually orientated web site, with sections where ads can be placed and strong sexual language is the norm. If I wanted a sympathy shag I would have asked for a sympathy shag in the form of an ad or in the Lets Meet Up room
Please don't just make assumptions about me - that is what everyone else has done. It hasn't badly backfired - I am just responding to the opinions people have formed of me, which they are entitled to do - but don't seem to be listening to what I am saying.My ultimate aim was to get an answer to the question; start a bit of "chit-chat" as the room intro states; a friendly discussion :roll:, why on earth would I be worried about post counts? I joined August 2003 and before this thread was started I had only managed just over 50 posts - hardly something I would worry about.
I hope that answers your query Judy
Hi Cheetah
Thank you for taking the time with your posting. It is nice to have your support and understanding. I really didn't expect the responses I got and this is obviously not the place I thought it was . However, it wasn't all bad, and even those that doubted what I was saying put across their thoughts in a (mostly) constructive manner - even if I feel they missed the point!
Not a completely bad thing - well balanced debate is healthy, but sooo many incorrect assumptions and comments were made - a lot based on what others had said whilst ignoring the fact I posted a simple question!
Thanks again.
macman
Thank you for taking the time with your posting. It is nice to have your support and understanding. I really didn't expect the responses I got and this is obviously not the place I thought it was . However, it wasn't all bad, and even those that doubted what I was saying put across their thoughts in a (mostly) constructive manner - even if I feel they missed the point!
Not a completely bad thing - well balanced debate is healthy, but sooo many incorrect assumptions and comments were made - a lot based on what others had said whilst ignoring the fact I posted a simple question!
Thanks again.
macman
I tried but bollox, I need to comment
Having had many medical problems during my 20's that affected our sex life big time it became really difficult to get me back into sex for fun :rascal:
So for me, the best comment I have seen here comes from Shireen
Biggest turn off is knowing that the man is constantly wanting sex. It really does make a female back off even more than she is. If you take her out for dinner then she will presume rightly or wrongly that it is because you want to get into her knickers. Same as buying her pressies or flowers.
If Ian brought me flowers, I would tend to say "what do you want or what have you done?"
He brought me a pressies yesterday because he has gone to Paris for a few days so there is an explanation.
Buying stuff with no reason means you want sex in a lot of female eyes.
Having had many medical problems during my 20's that affected our sex life big time it became really difficult to get me back into sex for fun :rascal:
So for me, the best comment I have seen here comes from Shireen
Quote by Shireen_Mids
And I am sorry but you have come across as wanting sex all the time.... And trust me the more you push the more she will back off...
Biggest turn off is knowing that the man is constantly wanting sex. It really does make a female back off even more than she is. If you take her out for dinner then she will presume rightly or wrongly that it is because you want to get into her knickers. Same as buying her pressies or flowers.
If Ian brought me flowers, I would tend to say "what do you want or what have you done?"
He brought me a pressies yesterday because he has gone to Paris for a few days so there is an explanation.
Buying stuff with no reason means you want sex in a lot of female eyes.
Once or twice a week is not constantly wanting sex... every day is constantly wanting sex and I have clearly stated in here that is not the case... and my wife knows that.
In fact in the discussions I have had with my wife about this subject, I have explained that once a week is fine by me... but it doesn't have to be a ritual and become sex for the sake of sex.... that causes a whole different set of troubles! I just want it more than 6-7 times a year!
There are all things we enjoy doing in life. We need something to look forward to. If playiing tennis or squash on a Wednesday night is your thing, you are likely to spend the day looking forward to it whilst at work, it improves your life.
For me sex is something I enjoy, something to look forward to, helps the day to go by. Is wanting sex once or twice a week with the lady I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with really so bad?
In fact in the discussions I have had with my wife about this subject, I have explained that once a week is fine by me... but it doesn't have to be a ritual and become sex for the sake of sex.... that causes a whole different set of troubles! I just want it more than 6-7 times a year!
There are all things we enjoy doing in life. We need something to look forward to. If playiing tennis or squash on a Wednesday night is your thing, you are likely to spend the day looking forward to it whilst at work, it improves your life.
For me sex is something I enjoy, something to look forward to, helps the day to go by. Is wanting sex once or twice a week with the lady I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with really so bad?
Quote by macman_uk
Once or twice a week is not constantly wanting sex... every day is constantly wanting sex and I have clearly stated in here that is not the case... and my wife knows that.
If you are only getting sex every 8 weeks then yes, you are asking a lot. You should be working on an improvement of any sort rather then pushing for 3 or 4 times as much sex
Quote by macman_uk
In fact in the discussions I have had with my wife about this subject, I have explained that once a week is fine by me... but it doesn't have to be a ritual and become sex for the sake of sex.... that causes a whole different set of troubles! I just want it more than 6-7 times a year!
So by the time you get towards the end of every week the poor woman is feeling pressured by the fact she has let you down another week. The more you make her feel like you want sex the less likely you are to get it. Even if you have stopped talking about the subject, it will be in the back of her mind no matter what you say now :roll:
Quote by macman_uk
There are all things we enjoy doing in life. We need something to look forward to. If playiing tennis or squash on a Wednesday night is your thing, you are likely to spend the day looking forward to it whilst at work, it improves your life.
You sad bastard!
I look forward to many things so maybe you need to get a life huh?
Quote by macman_uk
For me sex is something I enjoy, something to look forward to, helps the day to go by. Is wanting sex once or twice a week with the lady I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with really so bad?
By the way, did you know sex is about two people rather than just yourself
I knew I should have kept my gob shut :roll:
You sad bastard! I look forward to many things so maybe you need to get a life huh?
You are obviously allowed to call me a sad bastard are you? Why does making sure I do things in my life that I look forward to make me sad? Surely that is getting a life? Social activities means having a life; private activities means I am having a life. Not having things to look forward to, whether it is egg and chips tonight or wild and rampant sex in the morning makes for a dull existence.
You have an opinion of me in your mind that is so wrong there is no point in me trying to convince you otherwise.
So by the time you get towards the end of every week the poor woman is feeling pressured by the fact she has let you down another week.
How many times do I need to say this. I DO NO CONSTANTLY BADGER, PEST OR EVEN TALK ABOUT SEX OR HAVING SEX. You say talk to her about it. I talk to her about it, explain my feelings, that once a week would be nice AND YOU STILL SAY I AM WRONG TO TELL HER HOW I AM FEELING!!!!!! Of course it is a gradual thing - I don't expect her to turn around and say - "Fine, every Saturday night it is then".
By the way, did you know sex is about two people rather than just yourself
Don't turn a sentence where I was obviously using an example and talking about my personal feelings into something it is not. You read my earlier posts about the consideration I ALWAYS give to my wife during lovemaking... work it out from that.
Sex God
I don't find that continuing this thread would benefit anyone here. Time to get the keys out officers I think 
