we couldn't go out to a social today as we had baby-sitting probs........so just to cheer me up Alex took me to Asda shopping
.Oh what joy was had :cry: . Try parking in a car park with all the pedestrians ignoring the pavements and walking out in front of you without looking. I nearly had an extra 3 hood ornaments by the time i found a parking space and another 2 on the way out.
The store resembled a scene from the African yearly migration of the wildebeast and zebras. There were bodies everywhere, how come there is no one-way system for the aisles? There was showdowns with shoppers refusing to move over or move back. FFS it is only shopping and not a point of pride. I had two people run into my ankles and one over my foot.......bas***ds. Anyway, I have digressed..................
.............after the shopping I had the task of unpacking it while Alex hung out the washing.
I was doing so well until I picked up the last plastic bag and reached inside. I pulled out the kitchen paper towels and noticed that my last item was a jar of "Extra Garlic Dolmio Bolognese Sauce". I reached in...............................
.................just in time to see the bottle falling through the hole in the bottom of the bag. Down it fell..........and I had the idea of putting my foot under it to break its fall. At this point........I thought to myself......wearing sandles and placing a foot under a plummetting bottle of "Extra Garlic Dolmio Bolognese Sauce" is not a good idea. I had visions of me ending up in A&E trying to explain how I broke my toes. So, as quick as a flash I whipped my foot back and the bottle plummeted onto the floor.
I expected a mess on the floor that I would have to clear up. Nope, thats not my luck.
The bloody thing broke around the neck and the contents shot up. It went straight up my shorts, t-shirt, face and into my eyes :shock: ..............
...................Oh you fecker.........my eyes were stinging like feck. What the feck is in the ingredients for them things? My eyes were stinging as if someone had thrown acid in my eyes. Alex came rushing in to find out what the "Womanly scream" was about. I knew that she had come into the kitchen, even tho I couldn't see her. That was cos she was pissing herself laughing at me.
I was covered in head to foot in this stuff.........and when my sight returned.......I started to note how far the spray went. On the ceiling, I swear, it was like the Turin shroud with my head outline.
So to add insult to injury.........Alex made me wash all the bloody sauce off everywhere before I visited the shower. It took me half a bleeding hour.
Oh what joy........what a Saturday I have had
Dave_Notts
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